by Hannah Pearl
‘I’m not jealous.’ It was too dark to see his face, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t happy. ‘I don’t like the guy. He’s not as harmless as you think, not at work and not for dating. I’ve seen him in action and … whoo.’ Eli whistled. I guess if he’d seen things that shocked him then it must be pretty bad, but perhaps that was useful right now. I needed Taylor’s skills.
‘I’m not with Taylor. I was never really with Taylor.’ Eli began to stroke my hair. I kissed his chest, and he took my chin with one finger and lifted it until we were face to face, whereupon he kissed my lips. ‘It was you, Eli. Always.’ If I’d been scared that my admission would put him off then his kiss set my mind at ease, even if it didn’t come with any admission of his own feelings. I kissed him back, and then positioned myself so I was sitting astride him. His hands dropped to my waist and held me against him.
‘We can’t do anything else right now, so let me take your mind off it while we’re waiting here.’ His hands began to slip my knickers down and I paused.
‘Condom?’
‘In my wallet in my jeans,’ he said.
‘We used that one when you stayed over last week.’
‘I restocked just in case. I wasn’t sure you’d be able to resist me.’ He was joking. Probably joking. I wanted to discuss his assumption further, but not as much as I wanted to find Eli’s wallet. We could always talk afterwards. ‘My jeans are downstairs.’ I pushed him out of bed to go and get them. When he came back up carrying the little foil square, I beckoned him into bed. I didn’t have to ask twice. ‘Now, where were we?’ he asked.
‘I think you were about here,’ I said, moving his hands to where I wanted them.
‘Are you sure they weren’t here?’ he asked, moving them to somewhere even more interesting.
Afterwards, I lay with my head on his chest as we both got our breath back. I was slick with sweat and needed another shower. ’I’m glad you came upstairs,’ I whispered.
‘I couldn’t bear hearing you cry, Daisy. I do care about you. It’s just that …’
I never got to hear the next part. The quiet night was broken by the sounds of a car engine, then a door slamming and seconds later a hammering on our door.
‘Ben!’ I shouted, stopping only to grab my discarded underwear before running to answer the door. But it wasn’t my brother.
Chapter Twenty-Two
‘Nice pyjamas,’ Lily said, leaning past Taylor so that she could hug me. Taylor didn’t say a word, but he grinned at me so I guessed that he wasn’t mad, or maybe he too was enjoying the view. I tugged the neckline of my vest up but there was only so much the little slip of fabric could cover. ‘We found out more about Erin,’ Lily said. She barged past me into the kitchen where she found the kettle and set it off to boil. ‘Cute,’ she said, looking around her and taking in the brickwork and rustic wood. It wasn’t clear if she was referring to my state of undress or the cottage.
‘I wasn’t expecting you,’ I said.
‘Clearly. Though if you had worn those for me I’d have been flattered.’ She grinned.
I left her staring at the pitiful supply of nutrition available in the nearly bare cupboard while I went back upstairs to get dressed.
Eli was towelling himself dry as I walked into the bedroom. ‘That was lucky timing,’ he said. He pulled his jeans on quickly and reached for his jumper. ‘I’ll go down and see what they found out while you grab a shower.’
‘I just need to grab some clothes then I’m ready to go,’ I told him. Eli looked at me and shook his head. Instead of going straight downstairs I detoured to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I saw what Eli had seen. My hair was mussed, my cheeks were flushed. Even if I’d answered the door in a bathrobe, it would have been evident what we’d been up to. I followed Eli’s example and took a shower. I needed the time to gather myself. I didn’t ask him to finish the sentence he had started earlier. I’d finally admitted my feelings to him. I wasn’t quite ready to hear the ‘just’ or ‘but’ which was apparently going to accompany any reply from him.
When I went back downstairs I found Taylor, Lily and Eli stood shoulder to shoulder at the table, leaning over a map. ‘Erin’s family have a house, here,’ Taylor said, pointing at a location that I couldn’t see. I elbowed Eli out of the way and stood in front of him.
‘That’s near Dublin,’ I said.
‘We just covered that part,’ Eli told me, his tone droll.
‘Excuse me for needing to catch up.’ Taylor grinned when he heard us arguing, but Lily looked at me with concern. ‘What makes you think she’s headed there?’
‘You mentioned finding Ben’s passport on the floor,’ Taylor said. ‘It got me thinking, then after I spoke to you Lily rang me. We went back to your house. Turns out Ben’s passport was nowhere to be found.’ He took the diamante ‘Shagaluf’ cover from his back pocket and tossed it onto the table. ‘I reckon she tossed this when she grabbed it.’
‘Ben would never have left anything lying on the floor so it must have been Erin. Is she taking him to Ireland? Do you think she’s taking him away? ’ I was speaking so fast my words were running into each other.
‘One question at a time,’ Eli said. I took his advice and tried to take a deep, calming breath. ‘I agree with Daisy. If Ben had seen her drop this, he’d have picked it up. So we know that she’s been in the house, though Ben initially at least seems to have been with her by choice. The problem now is he won’t answer his phone again and we have no idea where he is. Our boss is going to start causing a scene if he doesn’t get back into work again soon, and then there’s the scream. What would have made Ben scream?’
‘Not to mention,’ I added, ‘my dad is due back from his holiday on Christmas Eve. That gives us just a few days to track Ben down. If Dad gets back and we’re not there, with Ben, he’s going to be devastated. He already lost my mum. I can’t let anything happen to my brother.’
‘We’re not going to let anything happen to Ben,’ Eli said. He reached out and drew me against him. I didn’t care if he was just doing it to show off to Taylor. I wanted the comfort of being with him. Especially if it wasn’t going to last once we found Ben again.
‘What are these lines?’ Lily asked, leaning over the map until her nose was almost touching it and pointing at a row of blue dashes. The lines extended from the western tip of Wales across the water to Ireland. ‘There’s a port near here. Do you think that’s where she planned to go?’
‘It might explain why she drove them all the way out here initially. Otherwise it seems a long way to go just to spend some time away. They already work together,’ Taylor pointed out.
‘Sometimes people can’t see a good thing when it’s right in front of them,’ I said, and immediately began to blush. Clearly being able to switch off from whatever Eli had been about to tell me before we were interrupted wasn’t going to happen.
‘Sometimes what seems like a good idea to one person can feel risky to someone else,’ Eli responded, letting go of me. Lily coughed to break the tension. ‘I just meant that Erin’s plan may have made sense to her, but I don’t understand why she felt that she needed to sneak Ben away,’ he clarified.
‘Maybe she thought that the people closest to him wouldn’t be supportive of him forming a relationship that lasted longer than ten minutes,’ I muttered, half hoping that Eli wouldn’t hear me as soon as I heard the words slipping out, but of course he did.
‘My relationships last a lot longer than that,’ Eli said. ‘I thought I proved that to you at least twice last night.’
This time Taylor interrupted. ‘That’s all very interesting, but it doesn’t solve the question of what to do now.’
Lily tapped the screen on her phone. ‘There are no more ferries tonight. The next one leaves at about two a.m. tomorrow morning. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted after that journey.’
‘You can have the bed if you want it,’ I told her. She shrugged. ‘I’ll go and change the sh
eets. There are spares in the closet.’
‘Is there a spare room?’ Taylor asked. ‘I could do with a few hours kip too.’
‘Sorry,’ I told him. ‘The cottage only has one bed.’ If they hadn’t already known full well what Eli and I had been up to before then that would have been a giveaway.
We pottered about, trying not to bump into each other in the cosy size of the living room as we moved around stripping the bed and fetching blankets. Lily and Taylor were grateful of the chance to sleep and soon headed upstairs. Lily had no qualms about bunking in with Taylor. I unfolded a blanket and began to make myself a nest on the sofa.
‘And in your great planning session, did you work out where I was going to sleep?’ Eli asked me.
I shrugged. ‘I thought you had plenty of choices. There’s the floor or your car for starters.’
‘You’re mean when you’re cross with me,’ he said, sitting next to me on the couch. He put his arm around me. It was soothing to feel the warmth of his body but at the same time it was utterly confusing. Had he been about to tell me that he didn’t want to be with me any more? If so, why was he now running his fingers across the nape of my neck?
‘What are you doing?’
‘It’s freezing out,’ he responded. ‘If I sleep on the backseat it’ll take hours to defrost me in the morning. Now don’t wriggle. I’m knackered and I could do with a kip.’
The sofa was soft and we sank into it. Eli winced as my knee accidentally collided with his delicate area. I apologised but he was too uncomfortable to hear it. Eventually he lifted me up and laid me down on top of him. He was far less soft than the couch, but somehow more comfortable. I laid my head back down on his chest and fell asleep as he gently stroked my back.
The alarm was too loud and too early. The cottage was so small that the one round was enough to wake all four of us. ‘Time to get searching again,’ I groaned, though I didn’t move until Eli rolled over, dumping me onto the floor.
‘You might be named after a flower, but you’re not as delicate as one. I think you dented my ribs,’ he complained.
‘Wow, you weren’t this grumpy last time I was on top,’ I retorted.
Chapter Twenty-Three
‘What happens if they’re gone already? Erin could have taken him on the ferry yesterday,’ I said as we headed for the cars. ‘If only Ben were here. He’d be able to get into the system and see if she’s booked tickets. Has she booked Ben a ticket? Is he with her by choice or is she holding him against his will?’
‘You’re doing that thing where you talk a lot again,’ Eli said, dumping his bag into the boot of his car.
Taylor noticed us sniping at each other. ‘Why doesn’t Daisy come in my car and you can drive Lily?’
‘No!’ we all shouted together.
He stepped back. ‘It was just a suggestion.’
‘So, the plan is, we drive to the port and hopefully arrive in time for the first ferry of the day.’ I looked around me at the sky which was still pitch black. ‘Well, of the night. We see if we can spot Erin and Ben, and if not we ask around to see if we can find out if she was on the ferry yesterday. If we get any sign that she’s taken him on a ship, we buy tickets, head to Ireland ourselves and carry on searching. There’s just one problem’ I pointed out. ‘We were all too tired to think of it last night. Erin has Ben’s passport, but what about ours? We can’t travel without one. Mine’s back in my flat. In London.’
Taylor reached into his jacket pocket and fanned out a pair of burgundy covers. Lily tapped her own pocket to show that she had hers too. ‘I picked Daisy’s up from her flat when we realised that Ben’s was gone,’ she said.
‘And I had no idea where Eli’s would be so I got one of my contacts to sort one that he could use,’ Taylor added. We took our passports and slipped into Eli’s car. He started the engine, turned the heating up and we drove away from the cottage.
The roads were deserted, the darkness broken only by the beams from our headlights. If I hadn’t known that we were driving down a road that carved and wound its way through the hills, I’d never have placed where we were. It was unsettling to have such a complete lack of light to see our surroundings, especially because I knew how steep the drops by the side of the roads could be. When we finally merged onto the main carriageway that hugged the edge of the coastline, I finally spotted another car. The driver was sipping from an insulated mug, and it reminded me of both my sleep and caffeine deprivation. I’d have mentioned it to Eli, but his lips were pursed in concentration as he followed the curves of the road.
Glancing behind me, I could see Taylor’s car not far behind. It was a cherry-red, low-slung sports car, and I had to admit that I was more excited by the car than I had ever been about Taylor. Turning my body away from Eli, I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep again. It was no use, despite my fatigue. My brain was far too busy worrying about Ben and trying to understand Eli’s reaction to me calling Taylor for help. I’d assured him that he had no reason to be jealous. If anything, his history with the opposite sex was far more extensive than mine.
So what was the reason for his reticence towards me now? It wasn’t a lack of chemistry, that was for sure. I thought back to Eli’s behaviour towards me even before I’d met Taylor. He had seemed to enjoy the sight of me in the green dress at the wedding, and no one had forced him to swap his food at the wedding to ensure that I could eat. In fact, he hadn’t needed to invite me to join them at all. He’d done all of those things just to be kind. Why, after years of sniping at each other things had begun to thaw, I had no idea, but I was relieved. I turned back to look at him, only to find that he was already glancing at me. He turned his face away quickly, and I could see the tension in his jaw. Was he every bit as confused about our bond as I was?
‘We’ll be there in a few minutes,’ he said. I sat up straighter and began to look around me. Presently we approached the port area. For the first time since we’d left London, we were suddenly surrounded by other people, though they were all as subdued as we were, given that the time was not yet two a.m. It was odd being awake when you knew that the vast majority of the rest of the country was fast asleep, tucked up all snug in their beds. I pulled my coat tighter around me. Taylor drew up and parked next to us. Lily bounded out, apparently the only person in the vicinity who was not feeling wrecked.
‘Come on Dais,’ she said, taking my arm. ‘Let’s leave these guys here to watch the cars. We’ll poke around and see if we can find anyone who can help us. Try not to kill each other before we get back,’ she told them as we walked away. Taylor laughed at her suggestion. Eli looked a little put out, as though she had ruined his plans.
A weathered-looking man wearing a bright yellow work coat with reflective strips was waving lorries into lines as they waited for the ferry to be ready for them to load. We waited until he had guided a muddy-green ten-wheel truck into position, then gestured to get his attention. I explained about our search but he was shaking his head before I’d finished speaking.
‘I only work the early shift, my love.’
I elbowed Lily to take the dreamy look off her face when she heard his Irish brogue. He was easily old enough to be her father, but if he carried on talking it would take more than that to put her off. ‘Is there anyone else we can ask?’ I suggested.
He gestured to a small portakabin on the other side of the car park. ‘Yer main office won’t open til a few minutes before the ferry goes, but you can get a coffee and ask in d’are if you’s a mind to.’ We thanked him and went to stock up on supplies. ‘Feel free to bring an extra cup back for an old man,’ he shouted after us. Lily turned to wave that she had heard him.
The wind blowing off the water took the frigid temperatures even lower. We were glad of the respite inside the cabin. The man behind the counter wasn’t much younger than the guy that we’d left outside, but he had a similar accent and Lily swooned as we ordered drinks and explained about our search. Sadly he was no more useful, apart from a
s a source of sustenance, and all too soon we were back out in the fresh air, albeit this time laden with supplies. Lily took a drink over to the man shepherding the lorry lines, and I went to tell Eli and Taylor about our lack of progress.
‘Do we try and get a place on the next ferry in case they’ve already gone? For all we know they travelled yesterday. Or do we wait for a later ferry and see if anyone here remembers them? The main office should open soon.’ I shook my head as I tried to think through all of our options.
Eli tried to sort through all of the options I’d suggested. ‘I vote that we go,’ he said. ‘We have her address, we might as well check it out. If she catches a later boat we can be there to greet her.’
‘I agree,’ Taylor said.
‘We’ve got no proof that she still has Ben with her,’ I pointed out.
‘She’s planned all of this so far to be with him. She’s got his passport. Why else would she have it if she weren’t planning to take him somewhere?’ Taylor asked.
I handed them steaming cups of coffee and we took turns to lace them with little pots of milk and packets of sugar. Eli raided the paper sack that I carried and helped himself to a bacon roll before handing another to Taylor. Lily came back from her mercy run and took a third. They smelt divine, but I had to be content with just the aroma. They didn’t stretch to veggie bacon alternatives so I had a plain bun. I considered covering it in ketchup just to add some flavour, but my stomach felt delicate on so little sleep so I ate it plain.
‘Our friend turned out to have more information than he knew,’ Lily said as she chewed. ‘They had a security alert yesterday afternoon. There was a loud bang sometime in the afternoon. Someone thought it sounded like an explosion and the whole port was closed down until they discovered that it was some fireworks. They reckon some kids set them off as a joke.’ Eli and Taylor both winced and shook their heads. I realised that they’d probably spent too much time surrounded by guns and explosives to find pranks like that offensive rather than just a bit stupid. They knew only too well that weapons were not a thing to joke about. ‘Anyways,’ Lily continued, ‘there were no ferries in the time after Erin was seen checking out of the hotel. So they definitely haven’t left yet.’
