by J. C. Burke
'Aren't you hot?' Megan asked.
'Kia,' Jake said. 'You've joined us.'
'Sorry.' Kia's voice sounded different, like quieter and a bit squeaky. 'I feel unwell. I think I'm still fluey.'
'Do you want to go and see Carla?'
'No, I'll be okay, Jake. Thanks anyway. I'm warming up now.'
I bet Kia just got her period. That's why she'd suddenly had the big mood swing and gone weird with me.
GEORGIE
'Don't worry,' Micki said to me as we walked down to the board hut. 'I get fully stressed about the two good wave scores in twenty minutes.'
'At least you admitted it.' As Jake ripped me to tiny pieces, Micki was the only one who backed me up. Kia didn't even open her mouth. 'The others were acting so casual, like what about Megan? "That's just the nature of competition,"' I mimicked. 'They probably have slower clocks in Tasmania, that's what I wanted to say.'
'You were good about it,' Micki said. 'I probably would've been in tears.'
'I wouldn't have given any of them that satisfaction,' I replied. For the first few minutes it'd been humiliating. After that I tuned out and went numb. 'Jake was just calling it like it was. I should have waited for the better sets. I panicked.'
For a moment I almost thought I could tell her I didn't want to be here.
'You'll have a better day today.' Micki smiled sweetly. 'Everyone has off days. Anyway, you got graded in the top group so they mustn't have thought you were that bad.'
I groaned. 'Oh no. Look.'
Jake was walking towards me with the video camera. The big smile on his face told me this was probably his way of making peace.
'I thought this was meant to be a free-surfing session?' I said.
'It is,' Jake smiled. 'Pretend I'm not even here.'
'Yeah, right,' I grunted.
Jake laughed but I wasn't joking.
The three things I'd put on my list last night, the three goals I made for myself, were:
1. Lose weight.
2. Get my fire back.
3. If I can't get number 2, then accept it and admit it – out loud to everyone. But mostly myself.
Making that list had made me sad last night. Today, I didn't feel sad. The fact I'd finally made a decision – that if it didn't work for me then I was quitting – gave me some peace. Otherwise, like Micki just said, I would've been blubbering in that video session. Yet all it did was make me think that I was right: pressure and me didn't go together.
So everyone would think how selfish I was for taking a place in this camp when I didn't want to surf competitively anymore, but they'd get over it. I mean, when Thorpie announced he was giving up competitive swimming the world didn't stop. Not that I'm saying I'm anything like Thorpie. But life does go on and that's what I had to remember.
'What time do you reckon it is?' Micki asked.
'Must be about eleven,' I said.
'I've got to be up in the kitchen at twelve-fifteen for lunch duty with Ace.'
'Sucked in,' I teased. 'I mean about doing it with Ace.'
'I know,' Micki said. 'I'm already nervous. What do I have to talk to her about?'
'Surfing?' I suggested.
I watched Micki wax her board. It looked like it'd had a few repairs done to it. Micki caught me looking. 'I'm saving up for a new one,' she laughed, although it sounded fake and I noticed her face go bright red.
I tried to think of something to say that wouldn't make me look like such a princess with my brand-new custom-made board that I'd been such a brat about.
'Is Kia out there?' Micki said, squinting in the sun.
'I think she went back to the bungalow for a lie down.'
'Does she have her period?' Micki was straight to the point. 'Is that why she's wearing a wetsuit? I always wonder what you do when you have them.'
'Actually,' I whispered, 'a word of advice, don't bring up periods around Kia. She hasn't got them yet. She's a bit hung up about it too, 'cause she's the only one out of our friends who hasn't had them.'
I felt a bit disloyal telling Micki that but it wasn't exactly a big secret and Micki didn't need Kia hating her any more.
'I hope I get mine late. Like eighteen would be good,' Micki said. 'I really don't like the idea of them.'
'They're fine,' I told her. 'You get used to them.'
Micki and I walked down to the water's edge. It was heavenly having this bit of beach to ourselves. It was impossible to feel like you were being hassled on the waves and it was hard not to feel special.
We cupped the salty water over our hair and face. 'Can you imagine not living near a beach?'
'My life would be nothing without surfing,' Micki answered.
'Yeah?'
'I don't reckon I could live without it.'
Micki began to paddle out. I stood back watching her for a while. There was something sad about her yet I couldn't figure out what it was.
'Georgie!' I turned around to see Jake gesturing to the camera he was holding. 'Let's see what you're really made of.'
I slid onto my stomach and obediently paddled out while inside my head I was calling him all sorts of names.
But the surf was good. It was exactly how I liked it. Offshore and walling up nicely. So what if it was a lefthander when it was like this? Jake was standing on the sand, video ready in hand. Just ignore him, I told myself. Just be here for yourself. No pressure. No pressure.
Each set seemed to be shaping up more than the set before. Micki was handling the size pretty well and for a small girl she was powerful at paddling back out. Megan was pulling in backside and getting plenty of rail.
Remember, you've made a decision, I told myself. Just have fun. No pressure.
'How good is this?' I laughed, paddling up to Megan and Micki, who were sitting out the back on their boards. 'Did you see that one I just got?'
'You tore that one apart,' Megan bellowed.
'What's the time?' Micki groaned.
'About ten past twelve,' Megan shouted back, starting to paddle for a four-foot little beastie that was looming up behind her.
'I better go in too,' Micki said.
'Bummer for you.'
'Yeah,' Micki replied. 'Think of me.'
'Stay another fifteen minutes,' I told her. 'Ace is probably up there already. She was sunbaking by the pool.'
'How can she be missing out on this?' Micki said.
'If she asks, tell her the waves were crap,' I suggested. 'That way we might keep her out of the surf for a bit longer.'
Micki began paddling and was off. 'See you at lunch!' she called.
I sat on my board and watched a set approaching. As each wave swelled and rose it reminded me of an enormous tummy swallowing gigantic pieces of food. I loved the ocean. I loved how every day it was different. And in a strange way I loved the fact you couldn't control it. That made it seem like real magic.
When I finally got out, Jake was over at the showers wrapping a bandage around Megan's ankle. And Micki wasn't at lunch duty – she was sitting there looking a seedy shade of green.
'Georgie,' Jake said, 'I hope you've got a strong stomach.'
'Huh?' I asked. 'What's happened?'
'It looks worse than it is,' Megan said. 'My fin just scraped my ankle.'
'It's a bit more than a scrape,' Jake corrected. 'These plastic strips should hold the skin together. I hope.'
'Yuck.' I spied a blood-sodden pad peeking out of a plastic bag. 'It looks like it bled pretty –'
Jake raised his hand. 'Don't!'
'Huh?'
'Don't mention the "B" word.' He pointed to Micki. 'Our young friend here can't stand the sight of it. We nearly just lost her.'
Micki made a half-groan, half-laugh.
'You okay, Micki?'
'I can't handle seeing blood.' Micki had her back to Megan. 'I'll be okay in a minute.'
'You said that five minutes ago,' Megan joked.
'No, I will.'
'Do you want me to do your lunch duty
?' I asked Micki.
'Lunch! I forgot!'
'Are you on lunch duty?' Jake pulled a face. 'Oops. Have you met our chef, Brian, yet?'
'I'll do it for you,' I offered.
'Who are you rostered on with?' Jake asked.
'She's rostered on with Ace,' I answered.
'Double oops.' Jake gave me a wink.
Micki flinched like she was in pain.
'I can just see Ace elbow-deep in salad,' Jake laughed. 'You might be just the girl to save Brian, Georgie.'
'Yeah, and the salad,' I added, 'from soaking in that coconut oil she was slapping all over herself.'
Jake made a cat squeal.
'I'm just jealous,' I said. 'I wish I could sunbake and go brown, instead of turning into a blob that resembles a tomato.'
Jake was really laughing now. He was so nice. Right there and then I forgave him for the grilling he'd given me in the video session.
'Oh, Georgie,' he sighed, 'I'd love to see you as a tomato.'
'It's not funny,' I said, although I couldn't stop giggling and I knew my skin was now probably looking tomatoesque. 'Well, I'm off to help Miss Perfect in the kitchen.'
'Thanks,' Micki moaned. She was doubled over in a little ball.
'Hey, Tomato!' Jake called. 'Good surfing too, buddy. You found your form.'
I walked up to the kitchen feeling the best I had in days.
KIA
'Do you know there are four ways to drown?' I whispered to Georgie.
'Four ways to drown?' Georgie looked up from the blue booklet that I was terrified to even open 'cause there was so much stuff in there. 'You're being cheerful tonight.'
'I was reading an article about it,' I said, 'when you guys were having your free-surf session.'
'Kia?' Georgie rolled over onto her side and looked at me in a way that made me almost want to trust her. 'Are you okay?'
'Yeah.' But I couldn't trust her. It wasn't worth the risk.
'Are you sure?'
'Uh ha.' I yawned, faking like I wanted to go to sleep now.
Ace and I had managed to avoid each other all day – or maybe it was more that I tried to avoid Ace. I was sure I'd stuffed up all the groundwork I'd made. Ace and I had been getting on good. She liked me. I was sure of it.
Tomorrow I'd start afresh. I'd be so nice and fun that Ace would forget about today's little 'slump' in my personality.
'Kia, you're not talking to me,' Georgie pushed. She always tried but I was an expert in cutting her off and changing the subject
'I think I was coming down with something this morning,' I lied. 'I reckon I sat on the toilet for about an hour. Honestly, I sounded like a motorbike starting up.' Now Georgie was laughing, which was where I wanted her.
'Shhh, you'll wake Micki,' I whispered.
'Kia, you must admit you do get sick a lot. You should go and have a check-up.'
The last thing I needed was my GP, Dr Yuan, doing a medical. I could just imagine him. 'Keeaghh' – that's how he said my name – 'what are these marks on your thighs?'
'So what are the four ways you can drown, Miss Cheery?' Georgie asked.
'There's a dry drowning. That's where you don't get any water in your lungs,' I explained. 'Then there's a seawater drowning and a freshwater drowning, which somehow do the opposite to each other.'
Ace came out of the bathroom.
'So how's the boyfriend?' Georgie asked.
'Okay,' Ace sighed.
'You don't sound happy.' That was about the first thing I'd said to her since this morning. Under the sheets I crossed my fingers, waiting for her reaction.
'Tim just told me he's going to Brazil after Indo.' Ace perched on the bottom of our beds. Maybe everything was okay between us? Maybe it'd just been in my head that she thought I was a loser?
'That means it'll be ages and ages till I see him,' Ace continued.
'Is it hard him going away all the time?' Georgie asked.
'Yeah. But that's part of the job.'
My turn to ask a question now. 'How long have you been together?'
'Almost nine months,' Ace replied.
'Have you, you know . . .' Georgie was not about to ask what I think she was, was she? She had no idea how to handle a friendship with someone like Ace! 'Have you . . . done it?'
Oh my God!
'Nooo!' Ace gasped and almost went purple. Slapping Georgie across the face was almost called for. 'Tim respects me, Georgie. I'm still only sixteen. I mean, that might be okay for some girls but I want to wait till I'm ready. Tim says he'll wait as long as it takes.'
'So how do you know when you're ready?'
'Georgie!' I gave her the evil eye.
'Well, I'm just asking,' Georgie replied. 'I don't know about this stuff. I've never had a boyfriend.'
'Yes, but –' I started.
'I don't mind,' Ace shrugged. She was being far nicer to Georgie than she deserved. 'I've got nothing to be embarrassed of.'
'See.' Georgie evil-eyed me back.
I bet that's not what Ace was really thinking. It was probably This girl is such an interfering busybody. At least I wasn't the one who asked the questions. I felt my breath let go.
'Georgie, have you at least hooked up with a guy?' Ace asked.
Now I bet Georgie wished she hadn't opened her big mouth because Georgie's record with the opposite sex was pathetic. Which meant Ace might think I was a loser for having loser friends!
'I've hooked up once.' Georgie was squirming. 'But it was just a pash'n'dash. When the lights went on and he saw the size of my thighs, he was off!'
'Stop it!' Ace laughed. 'What about you, Kia? Have you got a boyfriend?'
'I did last year,' I said quickly. 'His name was Joel.'
Even when I was going out with him, Georgie had told me he was butt ugly and looked like a camel. Not that I could figure that out, although he did have big lips.
'I'll have to try and set you up with someone, Georgie,' Ace suggested.
'At an all-girl camp?' Georgie replied. 'I don't think you'll have much luck.'
'Well, there's Jake,' Ace started.
'And Brian,' Georgie added, bursting into throat-choking snorts.
'Hmmm, Brian.' Ace smirked before vomiting up the biggest laugh. 'I forgot about him.'
'Who's Brian again? Tell me.'
Suddenly I was feeling left out of Georgie and Ace's private joke. They were holding on to their stomachs and killing themselves, occasionally just managing to utter 'Brian' before they burst into hysterics again.
'Shush you two, you'll wake up Micki,' I tried, but that didn't work. They kept on laughing.
'Guys? Guys?' I said a bit louder. 'Who's Brian?'
'The cook,' Georgie reminded me through tears. 'Ace and I did lunch with him today.'
'And that's all we'll be doing with him,' Ace spluttered.
'I thought you did lunch with Micki,' I said to Ace.
If I'd known Ace was doing meal prep with Georgie I might've come out of the bungalow earlier. That's why Ace and Georgie were suddenly so cosy.
'I ended up having to do lunch prep. Long story,' Georgie dismissed me.
I attempted to squeeze out a smile. 'Tell me?'
'Okay.' Georgie shot me a glare. 'Settle down.'
Sometimes she could read me better than I knew.
'Megan cut her foot pretty bad. Micki went to help and when she saw the blood she nearly passed out. Seriously, she was green. I'm not exaggerating. She cannot handle the sight of blood. Like, not at all.'
'Hey, I'm pretty sure . . .' A memory was beginning to stir in the very back of my mind. Something to do with Micki's mum. 'I'm pretty sure I remember that Micki's mum fell off a balcony. It was something like that. I know Micki was there when it happened.'
Georgie and Ace gasped. Ace wiggled up the bed and leant in close to me. 'I was really young when it happened. So I don't remember the details that clearly. Except that it was really bad and Dad had to go up there straightaway.'
'I thought you said your dad didn't really know Micki's dad?'
Oops. I'd forgotten that.
To make it worse, Georgie got in first. 'Oh, Reg and Micki's dad are best friends, Ace. That's how come Kia and Micki know each other.'
'We don't know each other,' I snapped. 'I met her for the first time two days ago.'
'Yeah, whatever,' Ace said. Luckily for me, she was more interested in the other story. 'So what happened when Micki found her?'
'Let's see.' There were little pieces that I knew. I just wasn't sure how they fitted together. Anyway, a few wrong facts didn't matter. It wasn't like Micki was ever going to become our nearest and dearest and tell us the real version. Besides, she was asleep, she'd never know. 'I think they had friends to stay but everyone was asleep.'
Ace and Georgie were hanging on to every word and I wanted to keep it that way. Not go back to them being all buddy-buddy and leaving me out.
'Micki was only three, but she was the one who heard the scream and then the thud of her mum's body landing on the concrete.'
'That's so awful.' Ace grabbed onto my elbow.
'She didn't die instantly. I think she died in hospital a few days later.'
'Poor Micki,' Georgie muttered. 'No wonder she can't stand the sight of blood.'
Suddenly I had a memory of my mum on the phone to my aunty in Canada. She was sitting on the floor of the kitchen crying. When she spoke, her words came out gurgly. I still remember thinking it sounded like she was drowning. 'Poor baby. They can't get the blood off the driveway,' Mum cried. 'Reg has been scrubbing and scrubbing but it won't come off.'
I didn't tell them that bit. Instead, I said, 'Micki and her dad moved from that place straightaway.'
'I don't blame them.' Ace's eyes were glassy with tears. 'And I thought I had a hard life 'cause my parents got divorced when I was ten.'
'Hey, you know what I was thinking today?' Georgie piped up. 'We should try and raise some money so we can buy Micki a new board. She's only got one.'
'Hey, yeah.' Ace sat up straight. 'And it's pretty dinged up too.'
'As if we can do that,' I said, maybe a bit too fast. But I hadn't told them the story so they could form the Micki Sympathy Society, and that's what it looked like they were doing.
'Well, I was thinking we could do something with our bikinis.' Georgie was beginning to organise. Next she'd be writing lists. 'Maybe selling them or, or –'
