But at the same time, my heart breaks for Lennon. How dare he abandon that beautiful little girl? With her amazing spirit, and sassy personality … as Jake had said, how could he not want to be here for every moment of this? It was gut wrenching.
“Do I ask if he is coming back? Do I mention anything about what he said about court? I don’t even know what to say right now.” Tears spring into the corners of my eyes, and I don’t know if they’re from relief or upset.
She gets out of her chair, moving to rub my shoulders and kiss the side of my forehead. “Take this is a blessing in disguise. That man never wanted to be that little girl’s father, not what it truly means to be that anyhow. He’s leaving. This is his way of skating away untouched, his easy out. Let him have it. You and she are both better off without him, and you get to keep her right where you want her. Tell him good riddance, and if anything this is just fodder for you to hit him where it hurts if he ever did come back and try anything.”
I nodded, knowing she’s right. But I need just a little bite of revenge. I needed to stick it to Derek, get some closure. I’d been so tight-lipped when it came to him, tried to take the high road. For once, I was going a little low.
So I picked up the phone and called him. I wasn’t doing this over text like his coward ass.
He picks up on the third ring. “Hey, Sammy.”
I don’t even say hello. “Were you going to say goodbye to your daughter, or just leave like usual?”
So yeah, I was a little more bitter than I thought I was before I’d gotten on the phone.
“Don’t be like that … this is a huge deal for me. You know I love her.”
“Actually, Derek, I’m beginning to think that I don’t. Were you even going to speak to her? Explain to her why you weren’t going to be here for her, again? Especially after what you pulled when you showed up here?”
There is a pause. “Yeah about that, I think I got ahead of myself, Sammy. I wasn’t going to really take you to court.”
I have to bite my fist before answering. “No, because that would require follow through. Have a nice trip, or stay, or whatever you’re doing. But please, don’t contact your daughter if you aren’t serious about being in her life. It will be painful for her at first, but not as painful as a father who only loves her when he remembers to.”
More silence. And then he clears his throat. “Understood. You’re right, Sammy.”
Jesus. I bite back an expletive. I hadn’t really expected to lay down that ultimatum, but part of me hoped he’d fight for her. That he would get angry or yell at me for saying that. Complacency and unaffected defeat were even worse. Because it meant he truly did not care.
“Goodbye, Derek.” I click off before he can say anything else.
Mom just hugs her arms around my shoulders, knowing that there didn’t need to be any words.
It felt like the end of an era. What I hadn’t realized when I’d moved back to Washington DC was that I still had that resentment of Derek eating away inside of me. I’d needed to tell him the business, to be a badass mom and serve him up some truth.
And now I needed to go home with my girl, and vent to the one man who would reassure both of us that there were still males of this species worthy of being with.
Thirty-Three
Samantha
That night, Jake held me as I silently sobbed into his shoulder so that Lennon couldn’t hear in the next room.
“He didn’t even fight for her. How do you not fight for her?!” I wailed, my melodrama reaching new heights.
He rubbed my shoulder and my back, kissing my forehead as I buried my face in his bare chest. “Because he’s a complete ass wipe who should burn in hell if you ask me. Hey, beautiful … look at me.”
I look up, slightly aware that there has got to be snot and tears running down my face.
“You don’t need him. We don’t need him. I told you before, I’m going to be in that girl’s life forever. You’re not getting rid of me, baby. And I’m not asking, I’m telling … I plan to be the best kind of father you’ll let me be to Lennon.”
I try to speak, but gurgle. “Can I … can I have a tissue?”
He chuckles, his eyes so kind and loving. “Of course.”
Leaning over, he grabs a few from the box off the nightstand and hands them to me, helping to wipe my face too.
“If I can clean your boogers, I must really love you, huh?” Jake looks me in the eye.
“I suppose you do. You know … it’s a big commitment—”
Jake puts a finger to my lips, stopping my mouth from moving. “Stop it. We’re not going over this again. You’re going to warn me about some bullshit that you worry I won’t be able to handle, and I try to talk you into it. I’m here. I love you. I love her. It’s simple.”
His quirked eyebrow makes a small smile spread across my face. “And you’ll love me even though I’m an ugly crier?”
“Your crying face is more beautiful than any I’ve ever seen. Although Lennon rivals you. When she’s in temper tantrum mode … hell, that is a sight to behold.”
We both laugh, careful not to be too loud as we don’t want to wake her in the next room.
“Do you remember that first date? God, she’d gone nuclear in that aquarium.” I giggled.
“Do I remember?! I thought you’d never want to see me again. ‘God, that guy who couldn’t handle the tears of a three-year-old.’ You probably thought I was some wimp.”
“Actually, I thought you were quite cute trying as hard as you did to include my kid. But be honest, that was just a move to get in my pants, right? No sane man would suggest a woman bringing her daughter on the first date if they weren’t trying to fuck.”
Jake shrugs. “So what if I was? It worked didn’t it.”
I trace the lines in his abs, still dreamy-eyed when it came to his body. “Eventually, yes.”
“What do you think it would have been like if I’d had the guts to ask you out in college like I’d wanted to?”
I wonder, and laugh. “We probably would have gone on some lousy date to the dining hall, you would have drunk texted me, we’d have had terrible, amateur college sex and then never called each other again.”
He puts a hand over his heart. “Ouch … but you’re probably right. I like how it happened better anyway. You know, the dashing DC entrepreneur swoops in to sweep the single mom off of her feet. Wooing her with his good lucks, dimple and charm until she had no choice but to fall in love with him.”
I bite his shoulder in a playful tease. “Oh lord, you really are so humble, aren’t you?”
“I love you, Samantha.”
Those words still took my breath away, as if it was the first time I was hearing them.
“I love you, too. Can you do one more thing for me tonight?” I bat my eyelashes.
“Anything.”
“Do your job and go scoop me some ice cream. Nothing tops off a cure of the cries like ice cream.”
* * *
Jake tapped his hands on the steering wheel like he was a five-year-old waiting for Christmas morning.
“You know that I have little to no restaurant expertise. You could take me to Taco Bell and impress me, so stop worrying.”
I rub his thigh over the passenger console, letting my hand linger. Maybe if his brain registers I’m getting close to his dick, he’ll stop being a basket case. Men.
It was our once a week standing lunch date, and instead of eating takeout in my office or his, I’d insisted he take me to the restaurant. I’d been waiting patiently to see it, and he’s been delaying until every single detail is perfect. They’re due to open in just three short days, and I basically all but grabbed him by his balls, demanding to be given a tour.
He pulls the truck up out front, paralleling into an empty spot. The sign is now over the door, which it wasn’t when I’d driven by for a peek inside before. It was the typical Cones & Corks logo, neat script and a wine cork making up the k, but it looked so diffe
rent over a storefront as opposed to on the side of a truck.
“Fancyyy, Brady. Very fancy.” I pat his shoulder like we’re teammates or something.
“Wait until you see the inside.” He hops out, and I swear he skips to unlock the door.
Damn, that ass is amazing. Sometimes when he’s sleeping, I just stare at it. Which sounds creepy, but it’s a work of art that needs to be worshipped.
The door opens and I smell the scent of … new. Just the smell of freshness, or cleaning products, that lets you know that this place hasn’t been tarnished yet.
“Holy shit.” I couldn’t help the words.
It was … freaking gorgeous. One side was all white tile and stainless steel, bright colors detailing the flavors on the wall and high-top tables of dark wood. And then on the other wall, a dark oak bar, with a wine rack spreading from floor to ceiling behind it. The whole store has a relaxed but spunky vibe; it’s going to make a wonderful spot for families and young singles alike.
“This is perfect. Jake … it’s going to dominate.”
He stands behind me, fist to his mouth. “You like it?”
“I love it. It’s going to be perfect … great for families but also singles. The bar and ice cream parlor combo was a fantastic idea, and seriously? The little trucks over there. Oh my God!”
I made a whiny girl noise over the adorable model trucks lining the top of the ice cream barrels. They were tiny models of the Cones & Corks trucks, one positioned over each flavor.
“We had a local metal artist make those … thought it would be a nice touch.”
“They’re adorable. You better get one for Lennon though, because she’s going to whine until she gets one.”
“Noted. You really like it?” He looks so nervous, it’s so un-Jake-like.
I walk to him, pressing my body against his and looking up, watching his jaw spread into a small smile.
“As usual, everything you touch turns to gold. It’s beyond, Jake … more than I had imagined, honestly. Take a minute to pat yourself on the back, you earned it.”
I knew, from our time visiting his family in Buffalo, that while he might look confident on the outside, he was waiting every other second for the other shoe to drop. He didn’t think he was worthy, even after he’d busted his ass for years to make his business. When you’re conditioned to think a certain way about yourself, you start to believe it.
“Now give me the rest of the tour so we can eat lunch. I look forward to my midday dates with my man.”
Pressing up on my toes, I make him kiss me. Our lips fuse for a steamy couple of seconds before I pull back, swatting his butt.
Jake gives me the dimple, and then takes my hand, showing me features around the room like the milkshake machine, double sinks, and other kitchen gadgets that mean nothing to me but make his eyes light up.
He then leads me to the back, past a small staff room and bathroom.
“And this is the kitchen.” Jake grabs my hips from behind, the old sparks lingering from our last foray into one of his test kitchens.
“Mmm, not the same counter as the one at your offices.” I purposely back up into him, shimmying just the tiniest bit.
“Maybe we should test them out, see if they’re up to par.” His hands squeeze tighter.
Finally, I tip my head back, my body responding to his insinuation. “I think we might just have to do that. You know, for the sake of good business and all.”
Thirty-Four
Jake
Water splashed onto the side of the cement pavilion, the waves from the Potomac River bouncing as the sun set below them.
I watched as the sun reflected off the glass windows of the Gaylord Hotel & Convention Center, the massive structure taking up an entire hill in Maryland’s National Harbor.
“Okay, I have to admit it, maybe the East Coast isn’t a dump.” Lila, Samantha’s best friend from Seattle, walks by popping a piece of donut in her mouth.
“Especially when we have our own London Eye. Er, well, I mean Maryland Eye. But still … very international of us.” Bryan winked at her while motioning to the large Ferris wheel like object.
“Your friend is a shameless flirt, huh? Does he realize I’m not going to sleep with him?”
I liked the blond spitfire already. She was feisty and raw in a way that Samantha was not, and I found that it brought out a side in my girlfriend that I rather liked. Plus, she was beating Bryan into his place.
“Sleep? Mommy sleeps with Jake.” Lennon looks happy with herself after having announced this.
“Yes, she does, smarty pants.” Lila kisses her cheeks where she rests in Samantha’s arms, and I can’t help but laugh.
I’d instantly liked Lila the moment we’d picked her up from Ronald Reagan. She’d skipped to the car, wrapped Samantha in a bear hug, thrown Lennon up in a launch of squeals, and then looked in the car at me and said, “Oh, Samantha, I’m proud of you, girlfriend. Nice catch.”
And ever since Bryan had accidentally seen a picture of Lila on Samantha’s phone, he’d instantly inserted himself into any activity we’d be doing while she was here. So, here the five of us were, shopping and munching at the National Harbor. So far, the girls had racked up some good purchases, gossiped, ignored us men, and eaten their weight in fast casual food.
It was nice to see Samantha in this atmosphere, surrounded by someone who she so clearly felt comfortable with. Rarely was she with friends, since she didn’t have many left out here, and when we were together, it was usually just her, Lennon and me. I liked to listen to their little blips of conversation about this TV show or that person back in Seattle. About old memories or the new makeup they were trying. It gave me an insight into Samantha’s head that I didn’t normally get, and I stored away each nugget of knowledge like a gambling chip.
Of course, Lila’s trip was double sided, but my girl didn’t know that. She thought that our first meeting was in the airport, and physically it was. But virtually and over the phone … we’d been corresponding for weeks now.
“So where should we go for dinner?” Samantha asks, looking a little tired.
I walk to her, lifting Lennon out of her arms and giving her a break. “Let’s go to this Italian place just up ahead. Right on the water, we can look out. Plus, I know someone who wants some spaghetti and meatballs.”
Lennon raises her hand, and both Samantha and Lila look at each other. Lila raises her eyebrows as if to say, “and he’s good with the kid, too.” Damn right, I am.
“Lila, if this coast isn’t so bad, maybe you should stay awhile.”
The blond makes a chuckling noise and sticks her finger in her mouth, fake-vomit style. “Bryan, this whole charade has got to stop. You’re making a fool of yourself.”
“That’s only going to encourage him, Lila.” I shake my head.
“Usually the ladies find me so charming.” Bryan holds his hand over his heart.
“Oh God, did you just call us ladies? Yuck. And I guess some people would call you charming, but trust me … I see enough idiot couples in the delivery room to know who is right for whom. Nothing like pushing a child out of your body to really test the strength of a relationship. And trust me, buddy, you don’t have what it takes to handle me.”
Oh shit. I think he might just fall in love with this one.
“What about us?” Samantha elbows her in jest.
“You and Jake? Yeah, you’d make it through. Knock my friend up, Jake, make some more cute babies like this one. You want a little brother, right Lennon?”
Lennon squeals. “I would like a baby sister named Princess Sofia, just like on Disney Channel!”
“You heard the girl.” Lila winks at Samantha, who rolls her eyes and gives her the finger behind her daughter’s back.
“Are we doing any more shopping before we eat?” Samantha looks longingly at some store called Alex & Ani.
“The men are hungry.” I speak for Bryan and me because my stomach is growling. “This is my rare nig
ht away from the new place, and I want to spend it eating as much pasta as I can.”
“And if I know you like I think I do, the way to your heart is most definitely through your stomach. So let’s go eat.” She wraps an arm around my waist and snuggles into my side.
Twenty minutes later, we’re sitting at a table near the window, the waves dark under the night sky now. The Ferris wheel lights up the harbor, and the inside of the restaurant smells like garlic and cheese and fucking deliciousness.
“I bet you I can eat an entire plate of calamari.” Lila rubs her stomach.
“Remember that one time we ordered one of every item on the Chinese menu and ate so much that we considered going to the hospital to have our stomach pumped?” Samantha laughs, rubbing her own stomach.
“I swore I could give us colonoscopies from the couch. Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever been so full.”
As we ordered and talked and drank, a sense of calmness sets over me. After the debacle with my family, I’d tried to put it out of my mind. That I didn’t really belong to anyone anymore.
But like I’d told Samantha before, family didn’t have to be the people related to you by blood. They could be this motley crew. The beautiful single mother and her stubborn daughter. Her best friend with a quick wit and sarcastic attitude. Bryan, one of the closest people to me on this earth, even when he was drunk and rummaging through my cabinets or trying to convince me to let him crash on my couch when he lived next door.
I had Alice and Jana too, and more close friends down here in Maryland than I was able count on one hand.
Before I’d met these people, I’d been floating along without an anchor. I didn’t have a dream or a purpose, and thought I was better off not having attachments. But I’d come to learn that strings weren’t a burden, they were lifelines.
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