by A. m Madden
When I open my eyes, I’m surprised to see Jack staring at me with a heated look on his face. Reaching over, he slowly wipes his thumb across my bottom lip, sending a jolt right through me. He brings his thumb to his mouth and sucks off the cream he removed from my lip. The cannoli I am holding is the last thing on my mind as I drop it back into the box, and it lands with a thump.
“Delicious.”
We continue to stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, and with each passing second my heart beats louder and louder in my chest. He removes the box from my lap, drops his cannoli in and puts the box on the table. He holds my face and slowly pulls me in until we are inches apart. In slow motion, he pulls me in closer until our mouths touch.
Our kiss starts off soft and slow. When he slides his tongue along my top lip, I open my mouth giving him complete access. Accepting my invitation, his slips in further to taste me slowly. We make out like teenagers and it’s the best make out session I’ve ever had in my life.
I finally gasp for breath and pull away. “I need to catch my breath.”
He releases my head and takes my hands. “Leila, if you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”
“What happened to being friends?”
“It’s not enough.”
“I’m scared things will get complicated between us.”
“I won’t let it.”
He pulls me into his embrace and kisses the top my head. “Leila, I want you to know something before anything happens. I can’t stop thinking about you. Since my party, you have consumed my thoughts. You have taken over my life.”
I turn in his arms so I can see his face better. His confession has me reeling. “Jack, don’t say things like that to me.”
“Why?”
“Because I won’t recover.”
“Baby, I mean every word.”
Tilting his head down, he kisses me softly on my lips. Weeks and weeks of holding back, of hiding my feeling, of denying my feelings for him all come flooding to the surface. I kiss him back harder, clutching his shirt between my fingers to force him to move his lips against mine and respond to my kiss.
Jack does respond by drawing me into his hard body and making love to my lips with his own. He lays me back on the couch and slips his hand under my tank. Slowly, he moves it up my body until it reaches my breast, skimming his thumb on the underside of my bra. He pulls away and watches for my reaction.
“I want you Leila. I can’t fight this any longer.” He stops and waits for my consent. “Please, I want to be with you.”
“I want that too, but it’s complicated. Our working relationship, the tour, it’s all too complicated.”
“Stop over thinking it.”
When I remain silent, he starts kissing me slowly at first but then it quickly builds, escalating to the point we are writhing against each other on the couch.
Breaking our kiss, I rasp, “I know what you’re doing.”
He stands and pulls me off the couch, wrapping his arms around me. His hands find my lower back.
“What are you afraid of, Leila?”
“What will be left of me when it ends.”
“Why does it have to end?”
He’s right. Who goes into a relationship already worrying about how it will end. I can’t continue down the friend path anyway… while living with him, or being with him. That is no longer an option. In my mind, I’ve crossed over that line weeks ago. I had no idea he had as well.
Bottom line, I want him. I need him.
“Leila, I want to be with you. Do you feel the same?”
As he continues to wait for my response, my decision is already made. What I’m about to do will change everything. I’m done hiding how I feel. I’m done playing games. Pulling him down to lightly kiss him, I whisper, “Yes.”
Taking his hand, I lead him to my bedroom.
Once inside, he embraces me, desperately gripping me to his chest as if afraid to let go. When he does let go, he lightly strokes my cheek before pulling me in for a kiss. Slowly, he pulls off my tank and then grazes his right thumb over my bra and across my erect nipple. How can such a simple touch wreak absolute havoc on my insides? I can’t stand it any longer. If I don’t have him soon I’m going to die.
I pull his shirt up and off his body, unfasten his jeans, and slip my hand in to feel him. His size is impressive, and I stroke him from base to tip, smooth skin over steel. He pulls my hand away and takes a few steps back.
“I want to go slow.”
My heart is pounding in my chest and I feel desire spread through my entire body. His eyes never leave mine as he slowly peels away his clothes, leaving him bare. He takes my breath away, and he is absolutely stunning. The muscles of his chest, his arms, and his stomach are all so well defined. He’s perfect from the pronounced v on his hips to the thin trail of dark brown hair that leads from his belly button to his obvious arousal.
Jack moves closer and quietly undresses me. It is so erotic as he devours me with his eyes. Once I’m naked, he steps away to admire my body.
“You’re so beautiful.”
I subconsciously move towards his body to touch his skin. The pull I feel in undeniable, like a tether holding my heart to his. He steps closer at the same time. It was only a few steps, but it may as well have been miles.
Laying my hand on his chest, I can feel his heart pounding. Succumbing to the incessant urge to touch him, I run my hands over his chest, abdomen, and hips. Tracing his erection with my fingertips, he closes his eyes and moans, completely lost in my touch. I take his hand and lead him toward my bed.
“I’ve dreamt of you…of kissing you…of tasting you.” He says as he travels down my body, placing kisses in between his admissions. Stopping at my breast, he pulls a nipple between his lips and tugs gently while his fingers begin stroking me below. His lips and touch, cause my back to arch and my hips to follow his rhythm. The ache below becomes agonizing.
Pulling his hand away, he leaves me bereft.
“Jack.”
“Ssh, baby.” He grabs each of my ankles and pushes them up so my legs are bent at the knee and spread wide open. He runs his thumb up my sex very slowly, causing me to shudder.
His head disappears between my legs, his lips teasing, touching everywhere but where I need them to be. Once they touch my most sensitive part, I become unhinged. As I bury my hands in his silky hair, he relentlessly tortures me, running his tongue through my folds and slipping his finger inside my entrance.
“Please… don’t stop.”
Jack complies expertly, causing sensations I’ve never felt before. He covers me with his mouth. I buck into him to quicken his pace. He sucks forcibly while stroking relentlessly with his fingers inside of me. My legs begin to tremble as he brings me to an intense orgasm causing my whole body to jerk. Weeks of pent-up desire come to fruition through my release.
It’s been so long since I felt these sensations. Fighting to catch my breath, my head is spinning from the pulses that continue to manipulate my body.
Once I lay motionless, he states, “You taste better than I imagined.”
He kisses his way back to my breast, pulling my nipple with his lips. I feel a throbbing ache in between my legs as if I didn’t just have a mind blowing orgasm seconds ago. Remembering my initial hungers, I grab his head and pull him up until he is looking at me.
“I need you.”
He bends to kiss me. I can taste myself on him as I greedily suck on his tongue, causing him to groan loudly.
Suddenly he breaks our kiss. “Don’t move.” Climbing off the bed, he pulls his wallet out of his jeans and retrieves a condom. Watching him roll it on to his erection is the sexiest thing I have ever seen.
The minute he gets back on my bed he stretches over me, his length is positioned and teasing. I am one pulsing nerve ending. My entire body is aching for him.
Linking our hands together, he slowly pushes himself into me, without breaking eye contact. I can feel every inch of him
fill me and I never want this to end.
“Leila, you feel so good.” His words are raspy with raw emotion and give voice to my own thoughts.
We move together and it’s pure bliss. I clench around him, as he moves excruciatingly slow.
“Jack…faster.” I tighten my legs around his waist.
He flips us around so I am now straddling him. His hands are at my hips and he pulls me down so he can plunge in deeper. The sensation he is causing inside my body is mind blowing. He sits up and the shift causes me to gasp, as he presses against the perfect spot inside.
Burying his hands in my hair, he pulls me down to kiss my mouth. I inhale him, taking him every way I can, taking control and moving myself over him even faster. My second orgasm quickly builds. He is right there with me as we climax together, our bodies trembling concurrently.
“I’ve dreamt of this.” He admits as I clutch him to my body.
All I can do is nod to his admission. Words aren’t presenting themselves to me at the moment.
We stare into each other’s eyes as we sit panting, nose to nose, still connected.
“My God.” He says kissing my face all over while I cling to him.
Still unable to speak, I simply nod again. I want him inside of me forever. Now that I’ve been with Jack, I’ll never get enough.
***
As we lie in bed holding each other, Jack plays with my hair. “You smell so good.”
“Jack?”
“Hmmmm?”
I can’t bring myself to say what I want to. I chew on my lip and he turns my head to look into my eyes.
“What?”
“Um…have you ever had sex without a condom?”
He smiles and understands why I’m so nervous. “No, I never did. Have you?”
“Um, no, never. I’m on the pill.” I offer. He smiles the CCDS, making my heart skip a beat.
“Leila, I trust you. Thanks for telling me because I hate condoms.” He kisses me, and I settle back on his chest.
As he draws circle patterns on my back, I call his name again. “Jack?”
Chuckling he says, “Yes?”
“Aren’t the guys going to wonder where you are?”
“For a second I thought you were going to ask me to go again.” He replies with disappointment. “Hunter knows I’m with you.”
“What?” I sit up unable to hide my shock.
“What? Hunter won’t tell anyone. We can trust him.”
“We can trust him with what?” I start to panic.
He sits up and shrugs. “I told you, I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I also wasn’t acting as myself. Hunter noticed and called me out on it. I confided in him. He thinks I should stay away from you, and he’s right…I should. But I can’t. He won’t tell the other guys how I …” He’s stops mid-sentence, then adds, “He won’t say anything.”
“Jack, you don’t need me as a distraction right now.”
“Leila, not being with you will be the distraction.” He says kissing me. “Do you remember what you said to me last night?”
“No, what?”
He hesitates for a moment, and then runs his nose along the length of mine. “Forget I mentioned it.”
“Jack, what did I say?”
“Nothing.”
“That’s mean.”
“Still not telling.” He says kissing my shoulder and making his way towards my breast. “Now ask me to go again”
He effectively helps me forget what I was just freaking out over.
Jack and I have sex again and again before we both fall into an exhausted sleep. He is so tentative and I’ve never had better sex in my life. I woke a few times to feel his arms around me and his body pressing up against my back. It feels like a dream having him here, with me.
Of course I want to continue this. Of course I also feel this is a huge mistake.
Waking first, I can’t help but stare at his beautiful face. He looks so peaceful and content. I can watch him for hours. I slip out of bed and slip his shirt over my head to go and make coffee.
He wants to keep seeing each other. How will this work? If Jennifer or Dylan gets wind of this or if this doesn’t work out between us, this could be a disaster.
While I’m lost in thought, Jack comes into the kitchen completely naked. I blush and point to the windows. “Jack, I have neighbors.”
“So? Oh good…coffee.” He grabs a mug and helps himself. “You’ll need to know I’m a coffee-aholic."
He laughs when he sees me gawking at him and brings me closer. “You like?”
I shake my head. “You are so conceited.”
Pushing one hand up under his t-shirt to touch my breast and putting the other on my bare ass, he whispers in my ear. “No I’m not. I just like that you like looking at me.”
We start to kiss and once again it quickly builds. We can’t even kiss without wanting to screw each other’s brains out. How are we going to keep this discrete? I pull away to tell him my concerns.
“I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be very hard” He kisses my shoulder.
“But think of how good it will feel when we can be together.” He kisses my neck.
“In a bunk.” He kisses my chin.
“Or backstage.” He kisses my cheek.
“Or especially in a hotel room.” His lips find mine for a long, passionate kiss.
That does sound nice.
He pulls back and smiles wide. Running my fingertip through his dimple, I admit, “God, I love your smile.”
“That reminds me. When we were leaving the bar, you said you loved my CCS something. What did you mean?”
Oh crap. I really have to stay away from tequila.
“Um…I don’t know?”
I try to pull my hand away, but he grabs it quickly. “What did you call my smile?”
“Damn it…I wasn’t supposed to say that out loud.” I admit very flustered. “CCDS is the acronym I use for your smile. Crotch Clenching Dimple Showing smile.” Shrugging, I add, “Dimples are one of my turn-ons.”
“Fuck, that’s hot. Crotch clenching? Is that happening right now?”
Still looking thoroughly embarrassed, I confess, “Yes, there is always clenching when I see your dimples.”
“God, I wish I knew that sooner. I would have used it to my advantage.”
“I may have been fired as your back-up singer if you knew.”
“You would not have been fired. I would have definitely caved in to your charms sooner than I did, though.”
I need to change the subject or I’ll end up having him for breakfast. “Um, do you want me to drive you home? You’ve been wearing the same clothes for two days.”
“Are you trying to say I smell?” His arms are wrapped around me and he bends to nuzzle my neck. “Besides now you’re wearing my shirt, and it looks great on you.”
He is driving me nuts. “No, you smell delicious and so does your shirt. I just thought you wanted to go home to change. I have brunch every Sunday with my dad, but I can cancel.”
He shakes his head and points out, “I don’t want you canceling on your dad.”
“What will you do while I’m out?”
“I’ll wait for you here and hang out until you get back. Do you mind?”
“I may be a few hours. If you are ok hanging here, then I’ll drive you home later.”
“Sounds good. I’ll shower and sit here naked. I don’t want to dirty up my only set of clothes.” He starts to laugh at the look on my face. “Kidding.”
Kidding, my ass. He is in my kitchen naked as we speak, and the fact that he is naked and aroused is extremely distracting. I rub up against him and we end up on my kitchen floor helping him out with his predicament.
***
“He seems really nice. He called me sir.” My dad says in between bites, smiling. He’s been asking a ton of questions about Jack and I’m having a hard time deflecting them, and a hard time to keep from blushing.
“He is dad.”
“Anything going on between you two?”
Oh crap…
“Um, we just flirt a lot.”
“From where I was standing, it looked like that boy is in love with you. Wouldn’t let anyone near you all night.”
My dad’s admission has my heart stammering. I vaguely remember sitting at the bar, and Jack’s body shielding me. My dad probably just misinterpreted his possessiveness for something else. In either case, I’m not ready to talk about my relationship with Jack with my dad, or anyone.
“You’re nuts. So, I can’t wait for you to see my new band in concert. They are really good.” I try to steer him in a different direction. It seems to work as he starts rambling on and on. He starts discussing the tour and my last show. He wants to see my first show with DL and I promised him I would get him tickets. He brings up Evan and how they had a nice chat at my party before he got plastered, and Barb and the fact she has a date for her surgery. It’s like the flood gates have opened and he’s trying to get it all out. He yaps and yaps while I smile and nod.
As we leave, I hug my dad very tightly. I only have a few more brunches before I leave. “Dad, what will you do on Sunday mornings while I’m gone?”
“I was hoping I could convince Evan to take your place.”
“Oh…Dad don’t push him. He’ll come around eventually when he’s ready.”
“I know. You keep telling me that.”
Kissing my dad goodbye, I drive back to my apartment lost in thought of replaying every intimate, fantastic detail of last night. By the time I park Bessie, I’m horny as fuck again.
I unlock my door to find Jack sitting on my couch in only his Calvin Klein briefs watching a Met game. It’s a site I can easily get used to. The visual I’ve tucked away of Jack wearing Calvin’s is nothing compared to him in the flesh wearing them. Hunter was right, he should be their model.
I smile at him and voice my thoughts from earlier. “Kidding huh?”
“What? I’m not naked.” He gets up and immediately comes over to pull me into his arms. “Missed you.” He bends kissing me deeply. Jack is a very sexual person. He’s also very affectionate and I can get very used to this.
I break our kiss, panting, “You’re killing me.” He is so freaking sexy I can’t stand it.
