by Magan Vernon
I didn’t know what to say to the guy that could leave me breathless so instead I just kissed him. This wasn’t our usual urgent, rough kisses, but a sweet, gentle one. His tongue teased mine with a soft caress and his lips barely grazed mine. His hands trailed down my back until he was cupping my ass in them. The thin material of my panties made it easy to feel the warm touch of his hands on me.
I thought there would be some more hand roaming, maybe round the bases, but that was as far as his hands moved. All his attention was focused on our kiss until he gently pulled his lips from mine, smiling. “As much as I want to do nothing but kiss you, I promised you we wouldn’t have sex tonight and if we keep doing this, I don’t think I can control myself.”
I breathed into his lips. “You have much more restraint than I do.”
He gently pulled my head down to his chest and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m trying. You’re making it hard, but the only thing that’s saving me is thinking how good this feels.”
“How good what feels?”
His heart beat against my cheek, his breath coming in even puffs. “Laying with you. Being with you. Everything about you. If I never had to leave this moment, I’d be happy.”
“Me too, John.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Night, Red. Sweet dreams.”
“Night.”
Chapter 15
I woke up the next morning with an arm around me. I almost forgot that John spent the night until I felt his warm chest pressed against my back
But that wasn’t the surprising part. When I opened my eyes my sister, Valerie, was standing over the bed and looking at me with her eyes wide. “I guess I should’ve called first.”
It took me a minute to register that she was really there, standing with her dyed blonde hair perfectly straightened and wearing heels, dark jeans, and a button down shirt. She looked like she was going to a meeting instead of my apartment. I guess the meeting was with the guy in my bed.
“Oh, no, it’s fine.” I sat up quickly once the full reality hit that my sister was standing there and I had a half-naked guy in my bed.
I glanced over to see that John had rolled over. I elbowed his side and he groaned. “Not now.”
“John, wake up, my sister is here,” I said through clenched teeth.
That woke him up. He turned over, opening one eye and then the other before he sat up on the bed. “Hi, um, I assume you’re Valerie?”
“Hello, strange boy in my sister’s bed,” Valerie said with a small smile on her face. Valerie was three years older than me, so it’s not like she was ancient, but at that moment I felt like the little sister that was about to be reprimanded. She knew I had a friend named John and she assumed he was more than a friend. And seeing him in my bed probably didn’t help that assumption.
“Val, this is my friend John. We went out last night and he ended up staying here.” I could feel all the heat gather in my face. I didn’t know what to say, so everything just came up like word vomit. “But we just slept in the same bed. Not sex. If that’s what you’re thinking. And he has clothes on.” Boxers counted as clothes. As long as he wasn’t sporting some mad morning wood we’d be okay.
Valerie shook her head. “I’m not here to judge what you do in your own apartment, but I would have liked a little warning. At least it was me that found you and not Mom.” She turned her head toward John. “But it’s nice to meet you. The so-called friend that Melanie has been talking about.” She glanced over at me and widened her eyes as if she was saying “Is this for real?”
“I’m really sorry that we had to meet like this.” He crawled out of the bed; luckily he’d put on his jeans at some point. I had to stop myself from staring at how low they hung on his hips, his pelvic V dipping into the waistband of his boxers.
Valerie’s eyes kept roaming to the tattoos on his chest, or maybe it was just at how ripped he was. He was a fine specimen that was hard not to stare at, no matter how old you were. “It’s fine. I understand how college life works. I haven’t been out that long.” She stared at me, as if it was my cue to say something.
I got out of bed, straightening my cami and quickly pulling on a pair of shorts that were laying on the floor. I had an obvious nip slip and I was hoping no one noticed before I pulled the thin top back over my boobs. I should have definitely changed into pajamas.
John found his shirt on the ground, pulling it over his head. “I guess I should let you two catch up. Give me a call, later?” He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead and slid on his shoes. “It was nice to meet you Valerie.”
Valerie nodded. “Nice to meet you too, John. Hopefully I’ll see you again in a better situation.”
“I plan on being here for Melanie’s surgery on Monday. If she finally agrees to let me go.” He looked at me, his eyes sparkling. He knew the best way to get me to say yes. I kind of wondered if he planned on staying the night so he’d have to meet my sister the next morning.
I swallowed hard, thinking that I really needed to brush my teeth. “Yeah. Eight sharp.”
“I’ll be there.” He squeezed my hand and walked toward the door. “See you both then.” He waved and walked out, closing the door behind him.
Valerie watched him walk out and then turned her attention to me. “Wow, Mel, he really is hot. Damn you did good.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.” I may have said the words, but even I doubted them. Truth be told, I didn’t know what we were. Friends for sure, but after his performance on the dance floor, I was wondering how much more we were than friends.
“Just the guy that sleeps in your bed, takes you to doctor appointments, and that you happen to be wearing lingerie for?” She arched her very thin eyebrows high on her head.
I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping that I didn’t have another nip slip. “It’s a top. I wore it when we went out last night.”
“Out? In that outfit? No wonder he came home with you.”
“Can we just drop it?” I didn’t want to talk about John anymore than I had to. It was confusing enough to me what was going on with us and I didn’t want to dissect it anymore with my sister.
“Fine. Fine. We can drop it. For now. But you know Mom is going to have even more questions than I do.”
I sighed. “Since when did the guy I hang out with overshadow everything else that’s going on? The real reason that you’re here. My surgery.”
She blinked hard, her eyes watering. “I didn’t think that was something you would want to talk about. I thought we could maybe talk about something happier, like possibly how happy Mr. tattooed wonder boy is making you in the sack.”
I shoved her arm. “God, Val! Even if I was sleeping with him I wouldn’t be talking about that with you.”
“Oh come on!” She laughed. “Like any girl wouldn’t want to hear more about that hot piece of man candy that just left here. How did you wind up with a guy like him anyway? I thought you preferred the pretentious, intellectual types?”
I pushed a strand of my now frizzy hair out of my face. “It’s a long story.”
“Give me the shortened version.”
“Fine. Monica dragged me to a party at her boyfriend’s fraternity. John is her boyfriend’s fraternity big brother. We hit it off. The end.” I didn’t need to tell her that he was wearing just a loincloth when we met or any other of the details of that night. The more basic the better.
“Monica’s dating a guy in a fraternity? Wow, you really are going to have to catch me up on things before Mom gets here.”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, but I need to shower so you can sit and talk to me while I do that.”
“It’s like middle school all over again.” She beamed.
Strange, but true. We had to share a bathroom when we lived at home, so one of us would always be showering while the other one was doing their hair or makeup or whatever else we had to do in the bathroom. We both got used to having most of our talks while the other one was in the shower. Some people found it weird, but I’d had so
me of the best conversations with my sister while I was putting on mascara or shaving my legs.
* * *
“So tell me what is this surgery all about? Mom didn’t seem to understand it,” Val yelled from the other side of the shower curtain.
“They’re basically lasering the cancer out.”
“That seems way too simple. Are you sure you heard the doctor right?” I heard the clanking of metal and figured she was either going through my medicine cabinet or my makeup. Valerie didn’t do privacy.
“Yeah. I’m sure they keep the sample they take out and make sure they have all of it and then the doctor will do another biopsy to see if all of the cancer is removed.”
“And what if it’s not?”
I let the water run over my body. I didn’t want to think about what would happen if they didn’t get all of the cancer. It was something I kept putting into the back of my mind. I tried to focus on the feeling of the warm water on my skin instead of thinking about that. “Then the doctor will tell me what to do, I guess.”
“If you don’t want to talk about this, we could just talk about the cute babies you and John would make.”
I laughed, spitting some water out that got into my mouth as I washed my face. “There will be no Melanie and John babies.”
“I’d make his babies. Lord, I don’t know how you keep your hands off those abs. He had like a freaking eight pack.”
Truth was, I’d thought more about babies than a nineteen-year-old without an actual steady boyfriend should think about. I wondered if there was even a chance for children in my future. Up until last night I didn’t even think I’d want to have any sexual contact with someone again. Even if it was only his hand. John was everything I wanted physically in a guy and he made my sex drive run wild, but that wasn’t what I needed. I had to stop kidding myself. Fooling around with the hot guy wasn’t going to fix me.
“When’s Mom coming in?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“I don’t know. I guess she was working this morning or something.”
I finished washing my hair and then turned off the water, pulling my towel from the shower rod. “Isn’t she always working?”
“Well, yeah, you know Dad left her with shit. What else is she supposed to do?”
I dried my hair and body and wrapped the towel around me before I opened the shower curtain. As I suspected, Valerie was staring at herself in the mirror, putting on one of my lip glosses.
“Is this why we have such fucked up relationships with men?”
Valerie blinked at her reflection in the mirror and then put the lip gloss down. She turned toward me, her eyes serious. “Your relationships are what you make of them, Mel. We can’t just blame everything on our parents’ mistakes. Mom and Dad may be fucked up, but that doesn’t mean we have to be.” She leaned on the sink behind her. “I mean, look at you. You have your own apartment, a job, and you’re practically paying for college on your own. You’re the exact opposite of Mom. You don’t need to depend on a guy to save you. When Robby left you didn’t just fall apart. You moved on. Mom cried for weeks when Dad left and she almost lost her job. It took everything she had to finally go back to work.”
I shook my head. “That can’t be true.”
Valerie rolled her eyes. “I don’t know if you just didn’t notice because you were too busy doing your own thing, but Mom was a freaking wreck. She called me every single day while you were at school and I wasn’t in class. I told her that it was your last year of high school and she needed to buck up for you, and eventually she did, but I really thought you would have seen it since you were living with her.”
I didn’t. I was so self-absorbed that I didn’t want to be anywhere that wasn’t with Robby or work. The only good thing that came out of that was that I saved up enough to help with college expenses. But now I just felt like the most insensitive daughter in the world.
“I really didn’t know,” I whispered.
Valerie took a step closer and put her hand on my wet shoulder. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it. You weren’t supposed to be the one to save her. It was her cross to bear and she survived.”
Mom was broken and was able to be saved. Hopefully I would be able to do the same. And then it was as if she heard us talking about her, because a knock came at the door.
“I’ll get it.” Valerie turned and walked out of the bathroom, of course still leaving the door wide open while I was standing there in my towel. Luckily it really was my mom at the door and not some maintenance dude.
“Good morning.” Mom was carrying a drink tray with three iced coffees and another small brown bag, while dragging her suitcase behind her. Mom had to go back to work after my surgery so she wanted to come in a few days early to help out with anything. Then she’d be back for Thanksgiving. Valerie took the week off of work. I guess she had plenty of vacation time and not enough money to take a real vacation.
“Morning, Mom.” Val leaned in and kissed Mom on the cheek before Mom closed the door behind her. There were only a few feet between the front door and the bathroom, so I could actually get a really good look at my mom. She had dark circles under her eyes and her roots definitely needed a touch up. But she still had a smile on her face. She never stopped smiling, even when her life was falling apart.
“Hey, Val. Hey, Melanie.” Mom stopped at the bathroom door. “Ready for breakfast?”
Chapter 16
It was the longest weekend of my entire life. Not to mention that I had my sister sleeping on my couch and my Mom sleeping on an air mattress on the floor, so my apartment felt even smaller than it already was.
But it was better to have people there instead of being alone. Well, I might not have been alone if John had anything to do with it, but cuddling with John was not an option.
I stared out the window of my mom’s car as we pulled into the emergency room entrance. I was too shocked to even ask the doctor what might happen afterward. If there was any risk that I wouldn’t survive the procedure.
A bored looking nurse sat behind the desk and barely glanced up as we entered. I expected to see more bloodied and beat up people waiting around, but the room was surprisingly empty.
“Hi, I’m Melanie Wilder, I’m here to check in for surgery.”
“Do you have your ID and insurance card?” The woman didn’t even look up from her computer.
I pulled the cards from my wallet and handed them to her. She made a copy of both items and sat back down at the computer. “Okay, it looks like we have you set up with Dr. Rodriguez. A nurse will be with you shortly to get you prepped for surgery.”
“Okay.” I nodded.
I took a seat with Mom and Valerie in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting area. There wasn’t a single magazine that was newer than six months old and some boring infomercial on the TV. So I sat and let my mind wander. John wasn’t there. I told myself that he would probably show up later, but part of me thought he wouldn’t come at all. That he finally realized this was all a mistake. I knew I couldn’t worry about John, but he was still on my mind. It was easier to worry about a guy ditching me than to think about what would happen if this procedure wasn’t successful.
When the doors swung open in the lobby, I thought maybe it was John coming in, but instead it was a limping guy on the arm of his wife. I let out a deep breath after they walked to the desk.
“Looking for someone?” Valerie leaned over.
“No. Well, Monica said she’d come by, but she may have meant to my apartment afterward.” Monica did say that she wanted to be there for my surgery, but I didn’t expect her to be.
“Uh huh, and is Monica over six feet tall and looks like she just walked off a body building set?” Valerie raised her eyebrows.
Mom looked over Valerie’s shoulder. “Is everything all right over here? Are we waiting for someone else?”
“Melanie’s boyfriend,” Valerie blurted.
“You have a boyfriend? And he’s
coming here?” Mom blinked hard. She had at least three cups of coffee, but still looked exhausted.
“He’s not my boyfriend.” I elbowed Valerie in the side. Of course she had to bring him up when Mom was around. She’d probably eventually meet him, if he did show up, but I didn’t want him introduced as my boyfriend.
“What is he then?” Valerie had a small smile on her face that Mom couldn’t see. Of course she would pin me in the corner. My stupid big sister was always trying to rat me out. She’d been doing that since we were kids.
“He’s a friend. Who I sort of like...” I stammered, trying to think of a word to describe John. I liked him, yeah. He was funny and charming and unbelievably good looking. Yet he also had other girls that were always clamoring for his attention. I guess friends for now would still work. That was what we said. Before last night. Before he made me orgasm in a very public place. “Can we just talk about something else?”
“Like what? The weather?” Valerie blinked.
She had a point. There was that unspoken subject hanging over our heads: why we were here. That I was going in for surgery to remove my cancer. That this might not work. That my body may still be broken beyond repair.
When the door opened again, I didn’t even look up, expecting it to be another set of hobbling people. But then Valerie sat up straighter, puffing out her chest. “Hey, Monica. Hey, John.”
What? I blinked hard before I glanced in the direction my sister was looking. There stood Monica, Trey, and John. Monica smiled at Valerie and Trey introduced himself, but John just stood there with his hands in his pockets, looking like a little kid who was about to be reprimanded.
Mom stood and hugged Monica and then examined a button on Monica’s coat. “Monica, I knew you were dating the governor’s son, but have you switched parties as well?”
Monica rolled her eyes and held out the button that read “Chapman for Governor.” “No, I lost a bet on who would win Dancing with the Stars and I have to wear this for the rest of the holiday.”
