Chapter 3
Finding Friends in Strange Places
1 year later
The light from the bulb hanging above me shining down on my page is interrupted by someone walking toward me. He stops right in front of me. It takes me a few seconds to tear my eyes from the book I was reading and up to his face.
“Hey Brody.”
“What are you reading?” he says, smiling.
I show him the cover.
“Harry Potter again?”
“It’s only my fifth time!”
He sighs. “Only? Seriously, you have the craziest addiction ever to this book series.”
“Hey, don’t judge me,” I say, chuckling.
A smirk appears on his face. The long blue robe doesn’t suit him at all. It kind of makes me laugh. “You look like a dork.”
“A graduating dork.” He holds out his hand. “You coming?”
I grab his hand and he helps me get up from the floor. I put my book back in my bag and follow him outside to the ceremony. It’s his graduation, but I’m so not ready for this. I hate having to walk into a big crowd. I’d much rather stay in my little corner, reading.
But I need to see this. I need to be here for him, like he’s always been there for me.
I sit down in my seat and wait until the ceremony starts. I’m cheering so hard for Brody when he steps onto the stage. Everyone’s clapping when his name is called out, and he walks forward in his blue gown. I feel lucky I can be here to watch him graduate. He gave one of the few seats he could invite people for to me. It means a lot to me to know that he wants me to be here, to see him succeed.
The smile on his face seems permanent as he shakes the principle’s hand and receives his paper. I’m happy, and yet I can’t stop this bad feeling gnawing at my stomach. Something’s weighing me down, and I don’t want it to, but I can’t stop the feelings from flowing. I know that this is his final day here. I’ll be on my own at school. Once he’s gone, the bullies will certainly get to me. I’m not sure I can protect myself from them.
He’s my guardian, he stayed my friend throughout it all. He keeps me from being pushed to the brink of breaking down. Now that he’ll be leaving, he won’t be able to anymore.
Looking to my left, I notice I’m one of the few younger people in the crowd. Most are parents, cheering on their kids. There’s one other girl my age, somewhere at the end of a row of seats adjacent to mine. When she turns her head and looks at me, her cheeks flush and she smiles. I smile back. I feel a little uncomfortable knowing I got caught checking everyone out, but then again, I don’t mind. She’s a girl, not a boy. Only boys make problems of me staring at them. They always laugh at me or tell their friends I’m in love with them. It’s not true and so embarrassing, but it’s not like they’ll believe me. Nobody believes the underdog.
♥♥♥
2 months later
Entering the cafeteria, my lungs feel like they are squeezed to death. I’m terrified. Every single time I come here, I feel threatened, violated, abused. There’s nowhere I can sit. All the tables and seats are taken, and if they aren’t, people will make it seem like they are, placing bags on them or throwing garbage on the seats. Anything to avoid me having to sit next to them.
Everybody wants me gone.
Air is unable to flow through my body as I freeze. I can’t breathe. People are watching me. All eyes are on me, although I have no clue why. I don’t even know if what I’m seeing is real. Are they really looking at me? What are they looking at? Is there something wrong with me? Am I just being paranoid?
I can’t think. I can’t even move one inch without feeling like I’m about to die.
I feel alone and helpless.
So I turn around and make a run for it.
I wish Brody was here. I wish he could be here to support me, like he always did. Now that he’s gone, I don’t think I can survive.
I should be strong, but I’m not. I don’t know why I became the way I am, but as soon as I set my eyes on another person I immediately get wary. I always think they’re intent on hurting me, one way or another. It’s cruel that I turned out this way, constantly on the lookout, constantly feeling in danger. Bullies make me feel this way.
I run into the nearest bathroom and slam the door shut behind me. Breathing heavily, I sink down to the floor with my back against a stall, trying to catch my breath. Tears come pouring out. All the emotions I keep tucked inside me come flooding out. I can’t stop the tears from running. It’s like someone pulled the plug. Maybe it’s because I’ve tried so hard to remain strong in class, even when there was no one around to protect me from them.
They’ve been throwing paper at me all day. When the teacher left the classroom for a minute, they belittled me and called me names like ‘Hippo’ because of my body, and ‘Googley Eyed’ because of my glasses. I never thought I was fat. Not until they said I was.
Each time they mention something, I question whether they are right or not. Every word they utter chips away a little, eating at my soul. Somehow, their words seep into my brain and make me believe they’re actually right.
I don’t want to hear it anymore. I don’t want to live through it. I don’t want to be near anyone, not if they keep making me feel this way. I’d rather be miserable alone than be miserable with a bunch of people.
Suddenly someone pries open the door handle, and I’m holding my breath. I wipe away the tears from my face before she comes in. It’s a girl, somewhere near my age, and I recognize her face as being that girl in the crowd who I stared at when Brody graduated. The girl with the chestnut brown hair and radiant smile.
She closes the door behind her and stares at me. It’s silent for a few seconds. “Is it okay if I sit next to you?” she asks.
I frown. I don’t understand why’s she’s asking. To me it’s odd someone would even think about it. But she seems nice, so I give her the benefit of the doubt. I nod.
She sits down beside me against the stall, her arms almost pushing me aside. We’re both staring at the wall now. She sighs. I sigh.
“It’s nice in here,” she says.
“Hmhm.”
“No bullies around.”
I smile a little. I didn’t know she noticed. I didn’t know anyone had noticed. I thought I was the only one who knew.
“You’re bullied too?” I ask.
She nods. “Sometimes.” She glances at me and throws me a quick smile. “It’s hard to fight them on your own, so secret hideouts like these are nice.”
“Yeah … I don’t understand why they do it, though.”
“It’s because we’re different.”
She takes out her sandwich and takes a bite. “But I don’t care. I’d much rather be on my own than be anywhere near them.” She chews so loud she sounds like a horse and the amount of food she stuffs into her mouth makes me laugh.
“What?” she mutters, her cheeks puffed like a hamster.
“Nothing,” I say, and I take out my own lunch and start munching on it too.
It’s the first time I actually feel comfortable enough to eat when someone other than my family is around. She doesn’t strike me as the type to be bullied, but then again, she is kind of odd. Just like me.
“Hey, do you mind if I come sit with you from now on?” she suddenly asks.
I almost choke on my food. No one’s ever asked me that. “Uh … sure.”
“Sorry, I don’t mean to be so in your face.” She chuckles. “It’s just nice to have someone to talk to for once.”
“Yeah, no, don’t apologize,” I say. “It’s fine. I’d love that.”
A broad smile appears on her face. “Thanks.” She holds out her hand. “Name’s Evie Carder.”
“Autumn Blakewood.” We shake hands, and it’s the first time I can genuinely say that I’m happy to meet someone at school. It doesn’t happen often they’re actually nice to me.
♥♥♥
1 year later
Evie and I are lying out
side in the grass, and she’s reading a book. I’m checking out all the boys hanging on the school yard, but I try not to be too obvious about it. I like looking at them. I know I’ll never get my hands on one of them, but at least I can enjoy the sight.
I sigh.
“What are you sighing about?” Evie says.
“Nothing.”
She pokes me. “C’mon. Tell me.”
“Oh, just gaping at the guys.”
She giggles. “Why would you do that? You don’t need them. You’ve got me.”
“You’re not a guy,” I muse, prodding her back.
“Well, they’re probably assholes anyway, just like the rest of them.” She continues reading while I continue staring. Suddenly, one of the guys turns his head toward me. My eyes widen. He’s glaring right at me. My face turns pale white before it turns crimson red. I avert my eyes and turn my head, ashamed, because I know he saw that I was looking at him. I hate it when they discover it. They always make fun of me.
“What were you looking at, specks?” some girl behind me says.
Startled, I almost jolt up from the grass. I look up and notice it’s one of the girls from my class, the one who used to tell me how to dress and what to wear.
“Stop calling her specks,” Evie snaps.
“Whatever,” the girl says. “You were checking out Dave, weren’t you?”
My cheeks flush. Shit. I got caught. Oh no …
She laughs. “Aw, how cute. So you were looking at him.”
“N-no, I wasn’t.”
“Ha, don’t deny it! I’m going to tell him right now that specky was checking him out. I can’t wait to hear what he thinks.” She runs off before I have a chance to stop her, let alone say something.
“Oh god …” I mutter. My worst fear is coming true. What will she tell him? What will he think of me? I’m sure they’re going to tease me with it, just like they have before.
“What a bitch,” Evie says as she gets up from the floor.
“I don’t want to be here …” I mumble, scrambling up from the floor.
The girl is already next to Dave, talking to him loud and clear, and everyone around him is laughing. Then they look at me. Crap. I’m too late. Oh god, the humiliation.
I freeze when Dave walks toward me.
“He’s coming here.”
“What? Who?” Evie says, slamming her book shut.
“Dave!”
“Oh, you mean that guy you were looking at?”
“Yes!”
“Just play it cool. He’s a shithead anyway.”
“No, he’s not.”
She frowns while getting up from the ground. “Don’t tell me you actually like that dude?”
“Well …” I chew on my cheek. I feel really, really exposed right now, and my thoughts are all over the place. My body is heating up like a radiator as Dave approaches.
“Hey,” he says.
I blink a couple of times, trying to get it through my head that he’s really talking to me. “H-hi.”
“Heard you were checking me out,” he says.
Oh god, oh god, oh god. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
“Uh … N-no, I wasn’t, I—”
“You don’t have to lie.” As he leans in closer, I hold my breath. “I know it’s true.”
My mouth jams shut as I feel caught in the act. Oh god, what will he do now? Will the entire school know? Everyone will make fun of me. This is a nightmare.
“Don’t worry,” he says, placing a warm hand on my shoulder. His fingers gently curling around my arm spread goose bumps all over my body. I’m getting all tingly just from his touch.
“Could we talk? After school?” he asks.
“Yeah, sure!” I say, a little too enthusiastic.
“Great.” He winks, setting my heart on fire. “See you later then.” And then he saunters off, leaving me breathless, waving at him from a distance.
“Seriously? You’re kidding me, right?” Evie says. “That guy?”
“I like him …” I murmur under my breath, still delirious from what just happened.
“Are you really sure you want to meet up with him?”
“I want to know what he wants to talk about. I can’t not go.”
She sighs. “Fine. I guess I can’t stop you, but please, be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Thanks,” I say, and together we walk back into the building.
Fight (#0.5, Fierce Series) Page 3
