by CW Ullman
“I’ve wanted you since I first saw you at Denny’s a year ago,” Darla said.
She leaned down and took him in her mouth. Her lips and tongue could not get enough of him. She licked, kissed, and sucked on him. Then she lay back on the bed and drew him on top, inserting Charlie inside of her.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
Charlie let the weight of his body down upon her and they kissed, long and full. She tucked her pelvis so he could plunge deeper into her which drove her head backwards deeper into the pillow. Charlie pushed his shoulders and chest up to find more depth into her vulva and she reached with her hands to grab his ass to press and hold him deeper inside of her.
They were looking into each other’s eyes and she started to moan.
“Charlie…Charlie…Charlie…oh god, oh my god –“ she said as she dug her fingers into his flesh. Her eyes rolled under closed eyelids and her head came off the pillow as her pelvis tilt upwards. Darla’s shuddering tightened her firmly around Charlie’s shaft while her arms became rigid. She let go of his hips, grabbed his upper back, and drew him near to her. Her right hand grabbed for the back of his head and pulled it into her shoulder, while her left arm wrapped around his torso, squeezing his body hard against her. She released another shudder as Charlie drove deeper. He held back for as long as he could and when he could wait no longer, he exploded into her with such force that it caused her to orgasm again. Together they pulsated rhythmically, each vibration a little softer than the one before it until they exhaled long and languidly. She held him to her and he rested gently upon her body. He tenderly brushed back the hair from her face and kissed her on the cheek.
“Darla –,“ Charlie started to say when she interrupted him.
“Don’t say anything. Just stay here with me, please,” she asked. “Just stay here.”
She was not requesting so much as imploring him in a tone of despair. He wanted to tell her he would never abandon her and would always be here for her. He would protect her. He wanted her to know all this, because he believed no one ever stayed with her.
She was used to people deserting her, so all she could count on were the precious moments of passionate lovemaking. This fleeting bond only lasted a short time, so if she could extend it, lost in their own feelings and hearing each other’s breathing, that was all she asked. Speaking broke the spell of being together.
Charlie stayed with her, not moving until she fell asleep. He then shifted and wrapped her in the bathrobe. For the first time, she had a restful look on her face. He had not prayed when he was in the ashram, but now he was praying for help. He stayed next to her and fell asleep while watching her sleep.
The next morning, Charlie woke up to find Darla seated on the other bed looking at him.
She nervously said, “We need to talk. I made some coffee, do you want some?”
She got him a cup as he sat up, leaning against the headboard. She was fidgeting with her cup. She said, “I’m fucked up as you can well imagine. Maybe last night wasn’t such a great idea. I’m not sure, but can we act like it never happened?”
Charlie took a long sip of coffee and stared straight ahead for an extra long beat. He turned to Darla with a Cheshire Cat grin.
“Last night? You want me to forget that we” -long pause- “smoked some of the best shit ever? If you insist,” Charlie said.
She threw a pillow at him.
They packed the car and went to a Denny’s down the road and had breakfast. They headed west out of Colorado, arriving in Manhattan Beach two days later. For the rest of the trip they did not have sex, nor did it ever come up in conversation.
CHAPTER III
Charlie had told his parents from a phone booth that he was making good time and would be arriving sooner than anticipated. He also said he was bringing home a girl and wondered if it would it be all right if she stayed for a while in the extra bedroom. His parents were happy to accommodate his friend. Darla and Charlie pulled up in front of his parent’s house on First Street in Manhattan Beach on a Sunday afternoon. He got out of the car and walked around the other side to let Darla out.
She asked, “How do I look?”
“Great.”
While they were talking, the front door of the house opened and Colleen walked out with Chris close behind. Charlie was about to introduce Darla when Colleen came up and hugged her son.
Colleen only had one child, and to her Charlie was the best child anyone could have. She had not been able to go a day without crying while he was gone and not calling. The entire time he was away, she would not let herself think he was hurt. Finally in her embrace, was the boy who defined her life and she never wanted to let him go. She said nothing, but held him for a long time.
Chris came up behind her and looked upon his son, his best friend. Charlie looked up to see his father and mouthed the words, “I’m sorry.” Chris just nodded and when Colleen let go, Chris hugged his son. Colleen joined in and the three of them were together.
Charlie said, “Mom and Dad, this is the girl I told you about, Darla.”
Darla got out of the car and Colleen gave her a warm hug and said, “Darla, I’m Colleen and this is Chris. Pardon our manners, but we haven’t seen our boy for a year and we’ve sorely missed him,” Colleen’s Oklahoma accent and Midwest manners swept Darla up. “We are really glad to meet you. Charlie has told us wonderful things about you. We’ve got a room all fixed up for you. Please come in.”
The parents started taking things out of the car to bring in the house. While they were bent over unpacking the car, Darla smiled broadly and mouthed to Charlie, “I love your parents.”
They sat down at the dinner table. Colleen had made a Yankee pot roast, broad egg noodles, and gravy. The parents kept looking at their boy and Darla envied the bond among the three.
Charlie said, “There is something I would like to do as soon as possible and I need your help. I want to get Rusty out of the VA and bring him here. He can stay in my room and I’ll sleep on the sofa in the den. I have been thinking about him a lot and I want to help him.”
Chris looked at Colleen and asked, “How is he doing?”
“I don’t know. I want to get the other guys together and set up a plan where we all chip in to help. Tonight, I’m calling them to set up a meeting so we can discuss it,” Charlie said.
“I’ll do whatever is needed, just tell me what you want,” Colleen said.
Chris wanted to discuss something and felt this would be a good time to do it. “Well, your mom and I have been talking about your homecoming and we were wondering if you might be open to a little business proposition. I bought a building behind the Redondo Beach Post Office over on Catalina Boulevard. Old Man McCulgan wanted to sell it before he passed and I made him an offer. He ran a dive shop out of there. It can be a dive shop, surf shop, or whatever,” Chris continued. “I thought it would be something we could work on together and you could make a business there.”
“I’m open,” Charlie replied. “I really didn’t know what I was going to do when I got back. All I’ve been thinking about is seeing you, getting together with the guys from the Enterprise, and getting Rusty out of the hospital. When do you want me to see it?”
“Maybe we can head over after dinner?” Chris said.
When dinner was done, Colleen got up to clear the table and Darla helped.
Colleen said, “You don’t have to do that.”
“Oh, no, it’s the least I can do. You are being more than gracious letting me stay here and honestly, where I’ve been living for a year, this is a snap. In Denver, the house where I lived, I was doing dishes for fifty to sixty people every meal. Doing dishes for four people is a walk in the park.”
After they finished the dishes, the four of them drove over to McCulgan’s Dive which had been closed for a year. They walked around inside and Charlie wandered into a back area.
“This is perfect, Dad. We’ll do dive and surf. And Rusty can work here. It’ll be good for him
. I remember him telling us on the Enterprise that he used to make surfboards,” Charlie said.
They went back to the house where Charlie made a series of phone calls to Gaston, Carlos, Curtis, and Ronnie. He said he was back in town and would like to meet up with them at Dockweiler tomorrow night.
When Monday night came, Charlie was the first one at the fire ring. He brought a cooler stocked with beer and red Solo cups. There was a ban on alcohol on the beach, but if you were drinking out of a cup, the cops and lifeguards left you alone.
The first to arrive were Curtis and Ronnie followed by Carlos and Guy. They all got beers, sat down in beach chairs, and waited for Charlie to speak.
“First thing I want to do is apologize for being an asshole. I’ve spent the last year living in Denver in an ashram and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect. I can go into all that some other time, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Secondly, I’d like you guys to help me do something. It’s a big request and if you don’t want to, you can tell me to screw myself.”
“Screw you,” Curtis said. The other three laughed.
“If you’re going to ask us to re-up in the Navy, the short answer is no,” Ronnie added.
“No, it’s actually more involved. I called the VA today to find out how to get Rusty out of there. I’m going to bring him to my house and rehab him and I’d like you guys to help me,” Charlie asked.
“That’s a big deal, Charlie. Have you been to see him since you’ve been back?” Carlos said.
“No.”
“Let me give you the four-one-one on his condition: our boy is pretty fucked up. I went down there to see him and he’s a zombie. I’m not being funny when I say zombie,” Carlos continued. “I’m not saying I won’t help, but this ain’t gonna be easy. You talked to your parents about this?”
Charlie said they were on board for whatever it takes. The other three all expressed reservations.
“I got a feeling this is twenty-four seven stuff,” Gaston said. “Since you’ve been gone, I opened Café Paris and I don’t have a lot of time. Carlos is an L.A. County Sherriff and Ronnie runs his former father-in-law’s carpet store with his whacked ex-brother-in-law. Curtis works at TRW and his wife just had twins. I’m not saying I’m out, but are you sure you want to do this?”
“I’m in. I don’t know how much you need, but I’m in. I’ve known that little shit all my life, and I want to help,” Ronnie said.
“Yeah, me too. I am pretty much a nine-to-five guy when it comes to work, so I can do some evenings and some weekends,” Curtis said.
“Sign me up. My shift changes periodically with the sheriff’s department, so I got to let you know my schedule when I get it,” Carlos said.
“I’m in.” Everybody was looking at Gaston who continued, “Like I’m going to let you fuckers have all the fun.”
“Tomorrow, I’m going with my pop to the VA to bring him home. I’ll call you guys, get your schedules and we’ll work it out,” Charlie said. “Also, since I was gone I lived in this place called an ashram-“
“Is an ASS-hram for assholes?” Curtis said.
“Yeah, assholes who want to learn how to meditate. I want to teach you guys how to meditate,” Charlie said.
“One thing at a time, Swami. Let’s get the thing with Rusty squared away and then anybody who wants to meditate can check in with you,” Curtis said.
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The day Rusty left the hospital was memorable for all the wrong reasons. Charlie had not seen Rusty in over a year. When Charlie and Chris arrived at the VA, they went to the nurses’ station and signed the necessary forms to release Rusty to their custody. The attendant told them to drive around to the portico and they would bring Rusty out. Chris brought the car around to the entrance. Darla had come with them and was sitting in the back seat. Charlie walked out to the car and told them Rusty should be out in a few minutes.
The orderlies rolled a slumping Rusty out in a wheel chair. His eyes were unfocused and he was still in hospital pajamas. Charlie thought that after a year in the VA Rusty would have improved, but he looked worse. As Charlie looked at a completely detached Rusty in the wheelchair, he realized this was going to be much harder than he had imagined.
While in the VA, Rusty had been on and off lithium for a year. He was in a drooling daze and unresponsive when Charlie and Chris approached him to put him in the back seat.
“Those guys have him ultra-sedated. When we get him back home we’re throwing the meds out and you and your boys need to get him back in the water. I hope they haven’t screwed him up permanently,” Chris continued. “MDs, why don’t they stick to caring for trauma instead of causing it?”
“This coming from the chiropractor in the group. Not now, OK?” Charlie said.
Chris and Charlie loaded Rusty into the back seat next to Darla. This was the first time she had met the man who put the girl overboard. When Charlie told her the story, while driving cross country, she could only relate to the girl. All she could think of was the betrayal by the man who had just saved her. Darla imagined the sheer terror an eleven-year-old girl would feel, fighting a full-grown man for her life. If Darla was told to do something like that, she wanted to believe she would have told everyone to fuck off.
She came along for the ride to support Charlie, because he had helped her. She watched the orderlies roll Rusty out, drooping in the chair and looking as though he was feeling sorry for himself. She had worked herself into not liking him and was prepared to be angry with him, but when they put him in the back seat, he leaned into her, and she automatically brought her arm up around his shoulders and leaned his head into her neck. He was defenseless and she knew Charlie’s family and his friends did not fully understand what she innately knew. He had to be protected and cared for, and she would be the one to do it.
She said, “Don’t worry, I got this one. Let’s hit it.” After a mile or so she spoke, “This is a lithium buzz. They use it for manic depressives. I was on this for months when I was trying to get off heroin and crack. Usually, if you’ve been on lithium, before they release you from a hospital they decrease the amount. If they decreased the amount and Rusty is still in this state, they must have had him hooked up to a fifty-five gallon drum of the shit.
“If he goes through what I went through, we’re in for a wild ride. He’ll have twitches, heart palpitations, and manic episodes. I was also very thirsty. If we keep him drinking water we should be able to manage him out of it,” Darla said.
When they pulled up to the house, Chris went in first and came back out with Colleen. She waved them in from the front porch, so Chris and Charlie got under Rusty’s arms and hoisted him up. They carried him to the porch, then upstairs, and laid him in bed. Rusty never uttered a word.
“I’m going to stay with him,” Darla said.
From that day forward she was with Rusty. No matter who came by to help or visit, she was in the room sitting in a chair near the bed. When it came time to bathe him, she would get help from one of the men to get him into the tub and she would wash him. She would have one of the guys hold him up so she could dry him off. She carried his bed pan, held the bucket in which he vomited, mopped his brow, and changed the sheets. She was by his side, day and night, for two weeks.
Having Darla in the house made it easier for everyone else. She forewarned them about the problems that were coming. When Rusty was dry heaving, foaming from the mouth, pissing himself, scratching himself until he bled and having mild seizures, everyone was prepared.
One night, while reading next to his bed, she laid the book down to watch him. He opened his eyes and looked around the room. He slowly turned his head to her and they looked at each other for a few minutes.
“Hi,” he said very weakly.
She answered him back, “Hi, Rusty, I’m Darla.”
“Darla, I’ve been here before.”
“You’ve been here for a few weeks,” she said.
“Where’s Chad?” Rusty asked.
“If you mean Charlie, he’s working at the shop.”
Darla thought his delirium was possibly worse than she had originally thought. She was not going to try and convince him otherwise.
She asked, “Rusty, are you hungry? I can get you some food.”
Rusty just looked at her and pushed his hand to the side of the bed and turned it palm up. Darla got up, walked to the bed, put her hand in his, and they looked at one another. She brought her other hand to his head and smoothed his hair. He closed his tearing eyes, smiled gently, and went back to sleep. She held his hand and stroked his hair for awhile. She thought he would need another week or two before he could get out of bed and walk.
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A month following the hospital release, Rusty was moderately functional. The red-headed kid who used to be playful and funny was gone. In place of his former ebullient nature was a melancholy tiredness. He had permanent dark circles around his eyes. He hardly talked to anyone, even Darla, however she was kindred spirit to Rusty; pain bonded them.
Once when she and Charlie were on the front porch, she told him she belonged here. She felt Mahatma Ji had been watching over her and brought her to Rusty. Darla reasoned that Mahatma Ji’s passing freed her to be of service to someone else who needed her.
She said, “Service is where you find it or it finds you.”
Rusty improved in stages. He slowly made it from the bed to the bathroom, then downstairs, and then outside. Ronnie and Darla were the first ones to drive him down to the Strand and let him walk a few blocks. He sat on one of the benches and looked out at the water. One day, while sitting and looking at the water with Darla and Ronnie, Rusty slowly said, “Left to right break.”
Darla did not know what he meant, but Ronnie squeezed him and said, “Yeah, man left to right break. The surf is breaking left to right. We’re gonna have your ass out there soon, shredding it.”
After Rusty got in the car, Darla pulled Ronnie aside and said that Rusty was still disoriented because he had earlier said he had been in Charlie’s bedroom before and he was calling him Chad. She said Charlie’s parents had moved to Manhattan Beach while Rusty was still in the Navy so it was impossible that Rusty had been there before.
