by Jason Gurley
You goddamn selfish bastard! Tasneem screams inside of her own head.
I know what you're thinking.
She cannot wait until she is in her apartment. His voice brings the tears out of her. She cries quietly, listening.
You're thinking I should have the treatment done like everybody else. For real. In a doctor's office. That's what you're thinking, isn't it?
Even though she's heard the message six times already, she still nods. Yes, that's what I'm thinking. Yes. Yes.
Tasneem, I wanted to. It wasn't the money -- it was expensive, but you know we would have found a way. It wasn't that. There was -- well, I had other reasons. They would never have given me the treatment. Not me. Not for real.
What reasons? she shouts.
And so I've made a bad call, and I must be gone now. This message is triggered by my death. You're maybe wondering now: why didn't he send this to Audra? Well, I can't explain that. I chose you. Maybe you know why.
But she didn't.
There's something important that you need to see, David continues. If you're at home, then you're there already. Follow these instructions...
Ganymede
They met, all three of them, when they were twelve years old. They had come up through different educational channels, each of them from a different arm of Ganymede. The space station was an enormous cross, like a massive tire iron circling Earth slowly, and each of its four arms was a complete city unto itself. Of the four arms, three are named for the Jovian moons which are sisters to Ganymede itself -- Io, Europa and Callisto. The fourth arm is named Galileo, for the astronomer who discovered the moons in 1610.
Tasneem had always found it disorderly to name a four-pronged space station for a single moon of a quartet, and then come up short when naming its components. It felt dramatically wrong that the station itself was not named for Galileo. That would have made more sense, she thought, and then the four cities could have been named Ganymede, Io, Europa and Callisto. That felt proper, and a nice tribute to a dead old man.
Instead, the dead old man took a back seat to one of the chunks of rock that he had discovered.
It just wasn't right.
Audra came from Io. She lived with her grandparents and an uncle. Her parents had been evangelicals who believed that Earth was sacred and the future home of their personal deity, and refused to emigrate to Ganymede. They'd had the opportunity, and had turned it down. Her grandfather often referred to Audra's parents -- his own daughter and son-in-law -- as damned fools. Tasneem liked him.
Tasneem, of course, lived with her mother in Callisto City. They shared a small compartment on the interior causeway, far from the picturesque outer residences. Of course, the station administration insisted that all residences were equal, that in fact all residents themselves were equal, but Tasneem knew that could never be true.
Audra had thought her pessimistic, but David had agreed with her. Equality, he would sometimes say, is a myth even in cultures that acknowledge and promote it.
David had always sounded smart. He was smart, but he talked smart. Tasneem didn't know anybody else like him. He was from Europa City, and while Tasneem and Audra played after classes released, David took the station line to Galileo City University, where he sat with the professors and talked for hours. They call me stunningly bright, he confided to Tasneem once. But I think it's just that they're surprisingly limited in their vision. I thought professors were supposed to be smarter than everybody else, but this has just taught me that no matter how high you climb, there will always be people who shouldn't be there with you.
David lived alone, and somehow managed to do so without attracting the attention of Ganymede Administration, which surely would have placed him with a guardian pair. He never talked to Audra or Tasneem about his parents, or whether they even came to Ganymede with him in the first place.
Audra and Tasneem each knew that David was going to be special. There was no question which of them he would end up with -- Audra was visibly interested, and clung to him in a way that Tasneem was incapable of. She seemed quite content to -- well, to serve him. Audra understood, Tasneem often thought, that David was on some plane above her, always thinking, always contemplating. Without her, David would forget the most basic human needs. So Audra cared for him, and David mostly didn't acknowledge Audra's ministrations.
Tasneem loved him. This was never a secret. Audra understood this, and wasn't bothered by it. To her, Tasneem was too similar to David. If the two of them were ever together, they would have one explosively intellectual year together -- then die of malnutrition and lack of exercise.
The social circle that they would dance in for the next twenty-one years was decided.
I'm not going, David said.
Oh, come on, Davy, come on, you have to go! Audra insisted. Please, please, please go. Please.
Tasneem laughed, trailing behind the two of them as they walked through the corridors of Ursa Academy. She and Audra had taken the station line to the school to meet David. They had waited outside David's classroom, Audra peeking in the windows repeatedly to try to get his attention. He's just so serious, she had complained. He won't look up at all.
Do you think I should go? David asked, looking over his shoulder at Tasneem. He pretended not to notice Audra, who had draped herself over his arm and was practically limp, her feet almost dragging along the corridor behind her.
Don't ask me, Tasneem said.
But I am asking you.
Audra popped up. Yeah, Tasneem. He should go, right? He should go.
I don't know, Tasneem said. Do you want to go?
Oh, man, no, Audra said, throwing her hands over her face. Don't ask him that.
No, David said.
See? Audra said.
Well, then you shouldn't go, Tasneem said.
Tasneem says I don't have to go, David said.
Yeah. I heard. Audra shot a withering look at Tasneem, who just shrugged.
They're supposed to be the best band in the whole world, Audra whined. Come on-nnn.
How do you know they're the best band in the world? David asked. What were the criteria? Did someone perform critical studies? What were the characteristics determined to be best? Is a consistent voice the best indicator of the best band? Or is experimentation a more appropriate --
David. God, Audra said. Come on, Tasneem. Let's go.
Audra dropped David's hand like a hot rock and stomped up the corridor.
Tasneem caught up to David and said, I'm sorry she's like that.
David smiled. It's okay, he said. As long as she is free to be like that, and I am free to be like this, we will always both be happy.
That doesn't sound like it works out well for her, Tasneem said. Works out pretty good for you, though.
It only doesn't work for her because she requires another person to achieve happiness, David said. She'll either grow out of that or she won't. If she does, she'll be happy.
Sometimes I don't think you're twelve years old, Tasneem said.
David smiled again. Sometimes, he whispered, I think I'm twelve thousand.
Tasneem, Audra complained.
Audra stomped her foot in indignation.
Gotta go, Tasneem said.
I really meant those questions, David said. See if you can determine why they're the best band in the world. It presents some interesting logical conflicts that must be winnowed through.
They're the best band because Audra wants you to go with her, Tasneem said. We probably won't even go now. She just wants to be with you.
But I'm going to University now, David said.
I know. She just wants to feel like she's more important than what you're doing.
But she isn't, David said.
Tasneem whispered, I wouldn't tell her that part.
She skipped ahead and joined Audra.
How can a band be the best band in the world if you live on a space colony, and not on a planet? David said to himself, walking along.
Do they mean the word world literally? Or is it a loose term that can be applied to any social construct in which you reside? If that's the case, then our space colony is a world. By the same logic, a community of spacedivers who float together through the cosmos without anything but each other could also be a world.
The girls vanished ahead, and David continued to walk to the station line, talking to himself.
Audra had still wanted to go to the show, and so Tasneem had gone along. The band was certainly not the best band on any world, Tasneem thought, and she knew she would have a fun conversation with David later about what really would constitute the best band, and whether you could even truly identify such a thing.
David liked objective conversations about subjective things.
He's so difficult, Audra complained.
They were on the station line from the venue in Galileo City. The cylindrical transport moved slowly through the center of the Galilean arm, only slightly faster than the walking speed of the few people outside. The entire car was a crystal lit from the inside. Tasneem felt exposed on the station line, but she never noticed anybody outside watching her.
He never wants to do anything, Audra continued.
Tasneem had had enough. That's not true.
Oh, no? When is the last time he agreed to come to anything with me?
You said he never wants to do anything, Tasneem pointed out. But really, David always wants to do something. You just don't like the things he does. Maybe if you really wanted to spend time with him, you would join him for the things he's interested in.
Audra folded her arms. Yeah, but those things are really boring. And anyway, he should show me that I'm more important than that.
Whatever, Tasneem said.
Audra grabbed Tasneem's knees and leaned forward. Neemy, she said. He should. I'm really special. I know I am. And he should make me feel that way.
If you already know you are, then why is that his job? Tasneem asked.
Now it was Audra's turn. Whatever, she said.
Tasneem enjoyed a measure of silence.
Then Audra caved again, and turned back to her. Look, she insisted. David's just so smart.
So?
So I want to know that he's smart enough to know what he's got, Audra said.
I don't even know what that means, Tasneem replied. David doesn't have you. He doesn't own you.
I'm his girlfriend.
So?
Stop saying so! Audra exclaimed. Look, I'm his girlfriend, and he should treat me more like -- like --
Like what? The Queen of Spain?
No, I can wait until I'm married to be his queen, Audra said. But right now I should be his princess.
Tasneem sighed. Audra. Listen to me. I'm going to explain something that you don't get, because if I don't, you'll never ever be with David forever. I know you want that, so you have to listen to me.
Audra exhaled in frustration. Look, I --
Audra. Listen to me. David is not like every other boy you've ever know. Don't you see that? David doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. And even if he did, he's twelve years old. He has plenty of time to be romantic later if he wants to. But he won't be, because David is like a robot. He just wants to consume knowledge. He wants to know everything. David wants to be the person in the world who knows everything about everything, because that's who David is. Do you understand? You will never be more important to him than a conversation he'll have with someone who knows something he doesn't know.
Audra began to cry.
Tasneem pinched her eyes shut and took a long, slow breath. Audra, look at it this way, she started.
No! No, I won't look at it your way, Audra said. Your way sucks, Tasneem. And just because you don't have a boyfriend, don't try to screw up what I have. And don't screw things up with me, either, because I know boys, I know lots of boys, and I can probably convince one of them to be your boyfriend or something.
Gee, thanks, Tasneem said. But you're completely missing my point.
No, you're missing mine, Audra said. And it's too bad, because this is my stop, and now we're not friends.
Okay, Tasneem said.
Audra had been in the middle of rushing off of the train, anxious to have the final word. But Tasneem's acceptance had stopped her short.
You're just like him, Audra said in a wounded voice. It's like I don't really matter to either one of you.
The car's door began to close.
No, no, Audra said, and she squeezed through the narrowing space. Then she stood outside the car and watched as it hummed slowly away, carrying Tasneem with it.
Tasneem turned her attention back to the view ahead, and her long, slow ride to Callisto City. She wasn't worried about Audra. These tantrums usually passed, and they would be friends again in a few days. Instead, she thought about the band. They hadn't been good, although there had been a woman playing a slide guitar, and Tasneem had closed her eyes during the woman's solo and been transported to a quiet, mournful place. She liked it.
Tasneem's pocket vibrated.
Her eyes snapped open -- she hadn't realized that she had closed them -- and she retrieved her wristband from her jacket and put it on. She had forgotten that she'd removed it. She tapped the top of the band, and answered the incoming call.
Tasneem?
It was David.
He had been on the ground outside her compartment when she finally arrived. He had a tablet on his knees, and was furiously writing things.
David? she asked.
He kept writing, so she waited. A few minutes passed, and still she waited.
Finally he put the tablet down. Tasneem, he said. I'm sorry. It's late.
It's not too bad, she said. Come inside.
He got to his feet and followed her through the door.
Mom? Tasneem called. I'm home. David's here.
Anjali appeared in the doorway of the sleeping quarters. David, she said. Hello.
You should tell her what you told me, Tasneem said.
Anjali looked at her daughter, then back at David. Is something wrong?
David looked at the floor. Mrs. Kyoh, I have been living alone.
Anjali nodded. I know. Tasneem has told me. She says you are a very grown-up boy, and that she knows you are not in danger on your own. I believe her.
So far the Station Administration didn't know, Tasneem interjected.
David looked away.
David? Anjali asked, not unkindly. How did that escape their notice?
Tasneem touched his shoulder. It's okay to tell her.
Anjali waited patiently. She looked very tired, which worried Tasneem a little. It was not that late, and her mother had looked more and more weary the past few months.
David looked at the floor. I found my way into their system, he confessed. And I invented records for my parents, and assigned them to my compartment.
Anjali nodded. And was that difficult?
David brightened. Not at all! In fact, the most difficult thing about it was trying to think of names for my fake parents.
Tasneem laughed.
Anjali smiled. David?
He went silent and looked at her.
Where are your parents, actually?
David bit his lip.
It's okay, Tasneem said.
Anjali nodded again.
David's shoulders slumped. I don't have parents. I'm an orphan.
And you found a way onto Ganymede despite this? Anjali asked.
Yes, David said.
You're a smart boy, David.
He smiled hesitantly. Thank you.
Tell me what has happened that has you so worried.
Tasneem nudged him.
I --
David faltered. He looked helplessly at Tasneem.
Tasneem looked at her mother. They've found him out, Amma.
Tasneem and David waited in the lobby. David chewed his nails, stopping only when Tasneem chided him, then starting again as soon as she looked
away.
Tasneem looked at the sign behind the reception table.
Junior Citizen Services.
There was no more terrifying place for David, she knew.
Anjali was in the office across the room, meeting with JCS administrators as well as top Station Administration officials. There was no easy way to predict what might happen. No citizen had ever hacked his way into station databases to falsify citizenship. And since this had happened both on Earth and Ganymede, the authorities were struggling with jurisdiction.
Tasneem feared the worst -- that David would be shipped back to Earth.
You can't let that happen, Amma, she had told her mother before the meeting. Look at him. He's terrified. He wouldn't last a week down there. Please help him.
Tasneem placed her hands on David's. Stop chewing them, she said again.
He gave her a guilty look. I don't know if I can. They're going to send me --
Nobody's going to send you anyplace, Tasneem said. Amma will solve it for you.
I don't mean anything by this, but your mother is just a citizen, David said. She can't actually fix this. They're going to deport me to Earth and I'm going to drown or burn up in the ozone or something.
Amma might surprise you, Tasneem said.
Anjali had surprised them both.
In the end, administration officials would only stay David's deportation on one condition.
He's going to be your brother, Anjali said.
Tasneem's eyes widened. You adopted him?
Essentially, yes, Anjali said. David? Is that okay with you?
Do I get to keep my compartment?
Not exactly, Anjali answered. Yours is larger than ours, so we will be moving into it with you. I'll be giving up the compartment that Tasneem and I share now.
Do I have to call you Mother?
You can call me Anjali, she replied.
David looked dubious.
Tasneem looked horrified.
Anjali knelt before the children. My dears, she said. This is a delicate situation. David, you understand that you were very close to being returned to Earth, yes?
