Buzzkill (Pecan Bayou Series)

by Trent, Teresa

  “Thanks, Martha,” I said. “We really appreciate you offering to transport the flowers to both the wedding and the reception.”

  “Not a problem. I want to do a good job with your wedding. Who knows who else might be in the crowd thinking about getting married …”

  Elena blushed. I wondered if she and Adam had thought about their next step.

  “Good, you’re here.” A voice from the back of the sanctuary called out. Prissy Olin stood by the open door, her hair rolled tightly in pink curlers.

  “After your wedding, I need you people to get this stuff out of here within a half an hour. We have a much bigger wedding, and it will take us a while to get the sanctuary looking presentable after yours.”

  “We’ll certainly try, Prissy,” I said, wondering what the penalty would be if we didn’t comply.

  “I hope you can do better than that. Thanks to you and your little poison lotion incident, I seem to have the whole town coming. I don’t think you’ll need to decorate past the first five rows of the church. That ought to do it, don’t you think?”

  Maggie came down the ladder, her fists going into balls. I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her.

  Prissy raised her hand about to speak again, but I cut her off.

  “I think we both have way too much to do today. So I’d better get to it,” I said, turning both me and Maggie around.

  “Whatever,” said Prissy, blowing out an exasperated breath. She turned on her heel and left the church.

  “The nerve of that kid, saying the lotion was poisoned,” Maggie said.

  “She did have a pretty bad reaction to it,” Elena remarked while attaching a little red heart to each bow. “If you look closely, you can still see some discoloration in her skin. Of course, with the base coat of foundation she wears, she’ll look better than a Barbie before the Christmas rush.”

  “Oooh. Was that the wicked witch I saw getting in her car?” asked Mr. Andre as he came in with baskets of our birdseed bags slung over his arm.

  “It sure was,” Maggie said.

  “She wants us out of here in time for her wedding.”

  “Oh really? Then you should take your sweet time saying ‘I do,’” he said. “Which reminds me, do we have all of our paperwork in? I’m about to calculate your final bill, and I need to have every one of the vendor’s bills in front of me.”

  “I think I told everybody,” I said. “Oh, maybe I didn’t get a chance to tell Wilhelm. I can tell him tonight, or better yet, I’ll just have him give the bill to you at the reception.”

  “That will work. I haven’t received anything in the form of a deposit being returned from Chateau Fischer. Do you know anything about that?”

  “You know, after what happened to Morton I was surprised to get something in the mail from them yesterday. Maybe Morton mailed it before his … before his … you know,” I said. “Anyway, it’s sitting on my desk, but with everything going on I didn’t get a chance to open it. It was marked ‘personal and confidential,’ so I’m guessing it has to do with money.”

  “Well then, excellent. When will you be running by to get it?”

  “Mr. Andre, Betsy is a little busy today,” Elena said.

  “Betsy, do you want me to get it for you?” Martha volunteered.

  “Umm …” I thought about the mess I left the house in getting ready to come here.

  Mr. Andre spoke before I could give her an answer. “Never mind. I’m being a pushy Prissy. I’ll just figure my final bill without Chateau Fischer. It is just a refund, after all.”

  Aunt Maggie affixed the last bow to the pew and turned to Mr. Andre. “I hope you got some smelling salts in that basket, because I have a feeling Betsy’s going to faint when she sees how much she owes.”

  “Not to worry,” he said. “Oh, and Maggie, I’ve got a bill for you for my services. I kept Betsy’s wedding within the budget we originally agreed upon. I don’t believe in surprises. Not in this business, sweetheart.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  For our next stop, Aunt Maggie, Elena and I met Miss Ruby at the door of the Hair House. Zach and Danny came in behind us and immediately sat under the dryers and began their best NASA countdown.

  “Ten … nine … eight …” Zach said.

  “Zach, you be careful with Miss Ruby’s dryers.”

  “Oh, it won’t hurt ’em none,” said Ruby. “I’m so excited and honored to be doing your hair on your big day. You three just come on in, and I’ll put us on a pot of coffee.”

  “It’s kind of you to let us come in a half hour early, Miss Ruby,” I said.

  “That’s quite all right,” she gushed. “Now I have some wonderful ideas for your wedding hairstyle.”

  “Well I’m wearing a veil, so really, just make it curl nice and that ought to do it.”

  “You mean you don’t want an updo?”

  I was afraid to tell Ruby that I had never been an updo kind of girl. As I started to confirm her worst fear, Aunt Maggie cut in.

  “Yes, we want an updo.”

  “Aunt Maggie,” I tried to stop her.

  “No, at least let her try,” said my aunt. “You aren’t going to the supermarket, Betsy. You’re getting married, so you need to look like it.”

  Ruby laughed. “Will the real mother of the bride please stand up? You go, Maggie.”

  “Thank you,” she said, “but I’m counting my blessings just to be the aunt today.”

  “How are things with Charlotte?” Ruby asked me.

  “Strange. You know she left again, right?”

  “I had heard rumors.” Of course she had.

  “I guess she felt like what she had come to reclaim was already gone,” I said. “I needed a mother, but that was back when I was a little girl. It kind of hurts, but I’m doing okay, I guess.”

  Ruby squeezed my hand. “You’re doing just fine, Betsy.” It would have been good if she had left it there, but she continued on. “I don’t care what the rest of the town says about this cockamamie calamine thing. You sure didn’t mean to kill Lenny or swell up Prissy. Even if the rest of these judgmental yahoos don’t come to your wedding, I’ll be there.”

  “Good to know,” Maggie said dryly.

  Had it really come down to that? Was the whole town siding against me? It was probably a good thing I was looking at a move to Dallas. My career as a helpful hints writer seemed to be over. I had worked so hard at it for so many years, and now with one rose-scented baby food jar full of calamine lotion, I was finished.

  “Who’s doing your flowers now that Lenny’s dead?” Ruby asked. At least this time she didn’t say something else suggesting that I had killed him.

  “Martha,” I answered as a strand of my hair was pinned on the top of my head.

  “Can she manage it? Being in her mourning period and all?”

  “Yes. We just left her. She’s actually doing very well,” I said. “She’s repainted her place and cleaned it up.”

  “All by herself?”

  “No, she had Morton Fischer helping her.”

  “Really?” Ruby said. “Now that’s a shocker. I didn’t even think she liked Morton. He’s been moonin’ after her for years. Even before she married Lenny. I’m surprised she even let him help. If I was her I’d be glad to be free of one man and wouldn’t have been anxious to join up with another.”

  I hadn’t really thought about whether or not Martha wanted to have Morton around. I just assumed he was a friend.

  “Oh well, to each his own,” Ruby said, blanketing me in a haze of hairspray. I wondered how long I could go without breathing.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  I stood looking at myself in the full-length mirror that had been propped up against a Sunday School classroom wall. The long white dress shimmered from my shoulders to the floor. I had chosen a dress with a square neckline, cap sleeves and a gentle layer of lace framing the top. With a small, embroidered flower at the waist, my dress had yards and yards of white flowered netting on the
bottom of the full skirt. My wedding veil fit on the back of my head with sparkling silver wire flowers attaching it to my new updo. I felt like a princess and twirled around, looking at myself in the mirror. This being my second wedding, I had thought about just wearing a well-cut white suit – but this felt like my real wedding, and for my real wedding I wanted a real wedding dress.

  “Oh baby.” Aunt Maggie’s voice cracked as she walked into the room, and her hand shook as she brought it to her cheek. “You are so beautiful, baby girl. Do you know how stunning you look in that dress?”

  “It’s amazing isn’t it?” Lavonne said, straightening the shoulders.

  “I was beginning to think that this day would never come,” I said. “It felt like a dream when I was planning it in these last few months, and even before that. I never thought I would meet a man and fall in love. Actually, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to marry anybody again.”

  “Well then I guess you need to count your blessings,” Aunt Maggie said. “Leo is a wonderful man, and I’m just so glad that you two found each other.” She brought out a gray velvet box. “I know that on your wedding you’re supposed to be wearing something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue, so I brought you a gift to go with your dress today.” She opened the lid of the jewelry box. Inside was a strand of white pearls. “These were your Grandmother Kelsey’s. These are for you to borrow. Would you do me the honor of wearing them?”

  The necklace featured pearls in graduated sizes with diamond bands separating them. In the center was a single teardrop pearl. It was stunning.

  “Oh Aunt Maggie, these are beautiful,” I said. “Why haven’t I ever seen you wearing them?”

  “Well, there’s not a lot of occasions in town to be wearing diamonds and pearls,” she said. I guess I was saving them for something special, or maybe someone special.”

  “Oh, hell. I’d wear those to the laundromat. You got to make your own occasion sometimes,” Lavonne said, fluffing out the bottom of my dress. “Well, Betsy. My work here is done. I’ll go on down.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “God bless you both,” she said as she went out the door.

  I carefully took the pearl necklace out of the box and put it around my neck. It was the perfect addition to the neckline of the wedding dress. Aunt Maggie came behind me and connected the clasp. My fingers traced along the pearls that now hung at my neck.

  Ruby Green had made me up with such care, and I was about to ruin all of her hard work, but it couldn’t be helped. Maggie’s eyes were filling with tears as well.

  “My, my,” Mr. Andre said from the door. He looked at the tears making their way down my cheeks and his lips went into a thin line. “Betsy, you need to cut that out. Save your tears for later, honey. There’ll be plenty of time for crying once you’re married.” He stopped and realized his own joke. “Oh, did I say that?”

  His shoulders rose as he suppressed a giggle. Pulling out a startlingly white clipboard he tapped on it.

  “The photographer is downstairs setting up for the pictures. He wanted to let you know that he wants to take a few pictures before the wedding and a few after. The groom is supposedly on his way, something about finishing up a job. God knows what that may be. Makes me frightfully nervous not having both of you locked down right now.”

  There was so much going on I had forgotten about Leo. “I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” I said, “and tell the photographer I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

  There was a quiet knocking on the door from behind Mr. Andre. Elena poked her head in. “I think I’m about ready. Did you want to check out the dress?”

  This was an Elena I had never seen before. Her hair, which was normally pulled back in a ponytail, had been artfully pulled up by Ruby, and little ringlets surrounded her face. She had makeup on her normally plain face that highlighted her delicate features. Instead of her usual Pecan Bayou uniform, she wore a snugly fitted, deep red velvet tea-length dress.

  “Elena. I’m afraid I can’t let you go down like that.”

  Elena ran into the room and looked at herself in the mirror. “Is something wrong? Do I have it on wrong?” She checked to make sure the zipper was in the back.

  “No,” I said “The problem is you look too good. No one will be looking at me once they see you!”

  Elena blushed. “Oh come on, Betsy, nobody is going to be looking at me today.”

  I was about to tell her a certain district attorney would be transfixed when Mr. Andre spoke up first. “Well, you certainly look a whole lot better than you do in that dreadful cop outfit.”

  “You know, Andre, I think we’ve had just about enough of you,” Aunt Maggie said, crossing her arms and staring defiantly up at the wedding planner.

  “Well excuse me for trying to give a compliment.”

  “The backhanded kind,” Maggie said. “We’ll be down in a few minutes.”

  “But wait … I still need to tell you …” His hand fluttered in front of him as Maggie closed the door in his face.

  “That man gets on my nerves,” Elena said.

  “Thanks,” I told Maggie. “I’ve spent way too much time with him these last few months. It’s kind of nice to have a little ‘girls only’ moment.”

  Elena jumped. “Oh, I almost forgot. I was put in charge of finding something blue for you.” She opened her purse and pulled out a navy blue garter with a tiny Pecan Bayou PD button sewn into the middle of the flower. “Let the force be with you,” she said as she handed it to me.

  There was a loud knock at the door that would make any drug dealer run. “What is going on up here?” my dad demanded from the other side of the door. “Are you ladies going to let me come inside, or am I going to have to knock the door down? Mr. Andre’s downstairs telling anybody who will listen to him how crazy the bride’s family has become up here.”

  “Come on in, Judd. You’re a blood relation.” Aunt Maggie opened the door.

  “Oh my. What happened to my little girl?”

  “Oh, she’s here, under about five pounds of taffeta, but she’s here.”

  “Are you ready to head down for some pictures?”

  “Begging your pardon, Officer Kelsey,” said Elena, “but should the bride be seeing the groom before the wedding, even for a picture?”

  “Not to worry, Elena. The groom hasn’t arrived yet, so we’re in the clear. We will not be cursing the marriage,” he said, “and all of that is horse manure.”

  “Why Judd, how very cultured of you to say manure,” Maggie said.

  “It’s the tux, I feel like a Rockefeller today.”

  I walked over and straightened his lapel. “And you look like one too,” I said and kissed him on the cheek.

  “You’d better stop or you’ll make me cry in front of another officer,” said my dad.

  “Too late, your backup is already fighting tears,” Elena sniffed.

  Pastor Green knocked lightly on the open door. “Is everybody ready? You all look like it,” he said. “Um, Betsy, I hate to trouble you about this now, but you did bring your marriage license? I need it for the paperwork.”

  I took in a quick breath. “Marriage license.” I turned to Aunt Maggie. “I forgot it back at the house. It’s sitting on my desk.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll call Leo. Maybe he isn’t too close to the church yet. He can pick it up,” Maggie said as she grabbed her phone out of her bag and tapped in Leo’s number.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Thirty minutes later we were still waiting for Leo.

  “Where’s Mr. Leo?” I heard Danny say loudly in the sanctuary. Someone nearby shushed him.

  Danny was simply asking what everybody else wanted to, so I couldn’t blame him. Danny was accompanied today by his “date,” Melody, a friend from his workshop. Aunt Maggie looked back from her first-row seat at the incomplete wedding party assembled in the gathering area outside of the sanctuary. Elena sat next to me holding my hand while my dad and the best man, Mark, took turns
pacing. Zach and Tyler, our dual ring bearers, sat in the corner looking bored.

  “He should be here by now. Let me try to call him again,” Mark said.

  Leo’s mother came out from the sanctuary. “Is something wrong? Where’s Leo?”

  “Leo went to get the marriage license at Betsy’s house,” Elena said. Pastor Green walked up the aisle, wringing his hands and sharing a weak smile with the waiting guests. As he entered the small lobby he whispered, “If you wouldn’t tell anyone I could marry you without the license and take your word on it.”

  Mark held up his phone. “He’s not answering.”

  Oh God, maybe he’d been in a car wreck. Maybe he drove over there and the roads were slick from all the rain and he slid into a ditch where he was now breathing his last breath clutching our wedding license against his chest. I felt myself starting to hyperventilate. What if … what if he’d changed his mind? This is the last best place to pull out of a wedding. What if he decided marrying me was just too much baggage between having a child and my penchant for getting into trouble? I couldn’t blame him if he had changed his mind.

  “Betsy!” I heard my father’s voice speaking through my wave of self-doubt.

  “Betsy, I’m talking to you, darlin’.” I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Betsy, I’m going to drive over and see if I can find him. Do you understand me?” He spoke slowly making me feel like a DUI getting booking instructions on a Saturday night.

  “Betsy?” he questioned.

  “Not without me,” I uttered through my fog.

  “You can’t leave now, you’re the bride,” Elena said.

  I stood up and yanked up my wagonload of tulle. “Yeah, well I’m no good without a groom. I’m part of a set. Let’s go.” I started walking toward the door and turned back to Elena. “Have Myrtle go through her Broadway repertoire. A star is born.”

  Elena rushed into the church to a delighted Myrtle. She would be tickled pink to strut her showtune stuff.