******
After stuffing me and my wedding dress into my dad’s cruiser, we sped to the house with the lights on. Leo’s car was parked in my driveway.
“Why would he still be here?” I said. “Maybe I didn’t leave it on the desk and he can’t find it.” I started opening the car door and felt my father’s hand on my arm.
“Wait just a minute, Betsy. It might be better if I go take a look first.”
That could mean two scenarios – either my father was worried he was the victim of some sort of crime, or worse, maybe he’d changed his mind about this whole wedding thing. I took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll give you five minutes, and then I’m coming in after you.”
“Thank you. Just stay here.” He got out and walked toward the house but didn’t go up the porch stairs. He looked in our front window and then the window on the other side. He glanced back at me and motioned for me to continue to stay.
He then went up the stairs and opened the screen door and then tried the door. “Leo? Are you all right, son?” He carefully opened the door and looked inside. As he entered my home, he shut the door behind him.
I sat alone in a police car, on my wedding day. I watched the clock on the dashboard and began to count down the minutes. A light rain started leaving traces on the front windshield, making it harder and harder for me to see. At five minutes exactly, I opened the car door. Picking up my skirts, I tried to keep the mud from attaching itself to the hem of the dress. Repeating my father’s approach, I headed toward the window first. Looking in, I couldn’t see past the sheers. I walked up the stairs and opened the front door to enter the house. Before I could get two steps inside, I came face-to-face with my father. He was holding up Leo, who looked dazed as he gingerly rubbed at the back of his head.
“What happened?” I said.
“I don’t know. I walked in to get the marriage license, and something or somebody hit me in the back of the head.”
I reached up to the top of his head and felt a knot.
“I’m thinkin’ Leo surprised a burglar,” said my dad. “Your wedding was in the paper. Any good burglar could have figured out your house might be full of wedding gifts and no people.”
“Did you get a look at him?” I asked.
“I wish I had,” said Leo. “I didn’t see anybody. I didn’t even hear anyone. I did smell something, but I can’t be sure. But hey,” he said with a crooked grin as he pulled the marriage license out of his jacket, “we can still get married.”
“Maybe we need to go to the emergency room instead,” I suggested.
“I’m fine.” He reached up to the top of his head and winced.
“Betsy, before we go. Let me just search the house and make sure it’s empty. I need you to look around and see if anything has been stolen,” my dad said.
I kissed Leo on the cheek and walked farther into the living room. The TV was there, the video game console was there, the computer was there. I really didn’t have that much to steal. I walked over to the computer and saw the pile where the marriage license had been. Underneath the license I had stacked yesterday’s mail, vowing to deal with that after the wedding. As I straightened the stack on my desk, I realized that Morton Fischer’s personal and confidential letter was no longer in the pile.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Twenty minutes later, after my house search turned up nothing, we returned to the church and Leo ran to the front. Lavonne came back to the vestibule and immediately re-fluffed my dress, which I had miraculously managed to keep the mud off of. Tyler and Zach, who had been reclining on a set of chairs, stood up and started straightening their tuxes.
Myrtle was just finishing up her version of “It’s a Hard Knock Life” from “Annie,” complete with ad lib choreography, as Leo took his place beside Mark. A hush overtook the crowd, and then they broke into applause for the appearance of the missing groom. Myrtle, of course, felt it was for her impromptu performance and began taking flourishing bows. From the look of relief on Aunt Maggie’s face, Myrtle could keep her day job.
Leo turned to the pastor and presented the marriage license to him. Pastor Green patted him on the back and set it on the pulpit. Myrtle’s accompanist, who had just pumped out a half hour’s worth of boisterous showtunes, cracked her knuckles and began to play Trumpet Voluntary. Each one of our sons started down the aisle doing the slow-time step we had practiced. They held satin pillows with our rings on them. Danny waved wildly to them from the pew. After that came Elena, and then it was our turn.
Dad offered me his arm. “You ready to take this walk, darlin’?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I said, taking in a deep breath and flipping my veil to the front.
As I crossed the threshold of the church, the entire crowd turned and stood. Mr. Andre stood at the far wall motioning for me to smile and stand up straight, coaching me to the very end. He would probably be upset to find out that Leo and I wouldn’t need any help with the honeymoon. It seemed that quite a few people had decided to ignore the curse of the calamine, and I felt tears filling my eyes. This was Pecan Bayou. This was my family.
Miss Ruby pursed her red lips and nodded as a tear broke its way past her carefully lined eyes. Benny from Benny’s Barbecue stood with his arm around his wife, their children beside them. Stan from NUTV dabbed at his eyes with his embroidered handkerchief. He had been so busy with a redesign of NUTV that he hadn’t been around much. I would need to introduce him to Mr. Andre later. Martha stood uncomfortably next to Lavonne. I wished I had told the ushers not to put them together because of their water feud, but they seemed to be getting along.
Martha’s roses perfectly matched the red hearts that hung on the ends of the pews. Danny clapped and jumped up and down as Aunt Maggie tried to quiet him. Once he was contained, her eyes met mine, and I could tell her breath was coming in heaps. The last person my eyes lit on was Zach, who stood quietly holding the pillow with Leo’s ring on it. This was such a big change for him, and I felt a panic rise inside me. Would he be all right with a father and a new brother? Was I thinking of myself first?
Zach broke into a grin, giving me his blessing. Okay, I could do this.
“Who gives this woman?” Pastor Green said.
“I do,” my father answered as he squeezed my arm and then handed me over to Leo.
Leo took my hand and whispered sweetly into my ear, words I was sure I would always treasure. “I know who hit me in the head.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
With our reception now moved to Wilhelm’s party room, we assembled amid the smells of bratwurst and sauerkraut. Even at short notice, Wilhelm and his wife, Josephine, had beautifully decorated their banquet room with white hearts hung over the long tables set amid stained-glass windows. A massive fireplace greeted us with a roaring fire as the rain outside was now officially a downpour.
“What an excellent change of plan,” Leo said, shaking out his umbrella. “I really like this place.”
“Well, sometimes you just have to roll with it,” I said, “and this just fell into our laps.”
“How did that happen?”
“It all had to do with my mother,” I shouted over the crowd, which was becoming more and more merry with the addition of a choice of many German beers and Gluhwein, a hot spiced wine served with cinnamon and orange slices. Next to the wine, Cal had set up our wedding cake and groom’s cake. There was plenty to ruin anyone’s diet.
“What did Mr. Andre think? I doubt Wilhelm is on his approved vendors list.”
“You know, my rendezvous with all things posh has officially ended.”
“I don’t know whether to be pleased or insulted,” Leo said.
Martha came in carrying the floral arrangements that had been set out at the church. Frau Josephine hurried behind her with a dishcloth to wipe down the dripping pots of flowers.
“Oh, that woman!” Martha griped. “I have no idea how someone as mean-spirited as Prissy Olin ever caught a husband. She is as evil as
they come!”
“What happened?” I asked.
“We barely got out of there in time before they started spreading sparkly pink stuff all over the sanctuary.”
“So our red didn’t exactly fit in?”
“She kicked over one of your arrangements before I could get to it. I tried to explain how the wedding ran late, but she wasn’t having it.”
“Whatever,” I said as I noticed drops of rain on Martha’s shoulder. “Come on in and warm up. Can we get you something to drink?”
“That would be great,” she said. “This is the heaviest rainfall I’ve ever seen in February, especially on top of all the rain we’ve already had. If the bayou has risen, that’s going to mean Chateau Fischer could be flooded today. Morton told me they were watching the water levels and praying the rain would stop. So much for Prissy’s reception.”
“Besides that, I can’t wait to see what all this rain did to her hair,” Miss Ruby said, not even bothering to apologize that she had been listening in. “That girl can get her frizz on, that’s for sure.”
“I can’t tell you how relieved I am to have all of this over,” I said.
“I can’t tell you how excited I am to give you your wedding gift,” Leo said.
Aunt Maggie hit her glass with her spoon, making a tinkling sound. “To my sweet Betsy,” she announced, “the daughter I never had, and to Leo, the son we welcome into the family. And now would you grace us with a first dance?” The assembled crowd politely clapped as Wilhelm stepped forward with an accordion strapped to his chest.
“For you, Betsy and Leo, my wife and I will perform the Schützenliesel Polka,” he said. Wilhem started in on a rousing song that featured his wife hitting a large drum, the unexpected sound causing the wedding guests to periodically startle in their seats.
“Do you know how to polka?” I asked as a boom from the drum hit my ears.
“I know how to try,” Leo answered.
Ruby lifted her glass and started rocking it German-style while many of the wedding guests got up and began doing a polka around the room. My father stayed with Art Rivera at the bar. I was glad work hadn’t kept Art away this time. To be fair, it was work that I often had something to do with. When the song ended, Leo and I both flushed, we returned to our seats for something to drink. As I gasped for breath I thought the gym in town should cancel aerobics class and just have Wilhelm play them a polka.
“Betsy!” Danny said. “Can I kiss the bride, Betsy?” He stood beside me with his date, Melody, at his side.
I motioned for Danny to plant a kiss on my cheek and he spoke into my ear, “Mama cried at your wedding. I don’t cry at weddings, but Mama did. Does this mean you’re going to have your baby now?”
Leo’s eyes widened as he looked toward me.
I quickly shut that thought down, much to his relief. “No, it just means I’m Betsy Fitzpatrick now.”
“Oh,” he said, as if that made all the sense in the world. He walked away practicing my new name with Melody, and then she pulled him on the dance floor. They happily began stomping out the polka.
Leo bowed his head and murmured, “You’re sure there’s nothing you want to tell me?”
I leaned toward him. “You’d be the first to know.”
“I can’t wait. Speaking of waiting, I also can’t wait to give you your wedding present.”
“What is the big deal?” I said. “This better be pretty impressive with all the buildup it’s getting.”
“Oh, trust me. It is.”
My father came in, shaking off his coat and handing his Stetson to a waiter.
“No need to worry darlin’. Just taking care of some business,” he said. He walked over to Elena and George, his deputies, and spoke briefly to them. He came back and extended his hand. “Now, may I dance with the bride?”
“Of course,” I said, taking my father’s hand.
We began doing a waltz – or technically, a slow polka – as my father spoke. “So, I guess this means you’re going to be leaving me now. No phone calls to come out and jump your car, move your couch or even help you with your latest discovery of crime in Pecan Bayou.”
“You know, even though I’m married now I’ll never stop coming up with reasons to put you to work,” I told him.
“Happy to hear it. So have you even started packing for Dallas?”
He had me on that one. For the last few months I had been simply living to get through today. Now I had to start working on tomorrow.
“Right after the honeymoon I’ll start throwing things in boxes,” I said, “but for tonight I just want to think about now.”
“A healthy attitude to be sure.” A bolt of lightning hit outside with a sudden crack of thunder. The room, which had been full of guests laughing and talking over the ever-present accordion music, now stilled. The lights flickered and then went out. The front door of Wilhelm’s Bed and Breakfast and Authentic German Restaurant burst open with the next flash of lightning to reveal Prissy Olin, pink, sparkly and totally drenched.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Her face was flushed and her glossed lips were pulled back, baring her teeth.
She screamed across the room, “This is your fault!” and pointed at me.
I stepped back and instantly felt Leo beside me.
“What’s my fault?” I answered her, confused by her accusation.
“The rain! You’ve tried to ruin my wedding since the beginning. My wedding was supposed to be the social occasion of the year. I’m marrying the freakin’ mayor’s son on Valentine’s Day, and you dare to plan your little Happy Hinter wedding on the same day? Then you have the nerve to take my church, and then my reception venue and even my frou-frou wedding planner?”
Mr. Andre uncrossed his arms and held his hand up to his mouth, concealing a smile. From behind Prissy, the Olin/Obermeyer wedding party started shuffling in, shaking off umbrellas as they escaped the storm. Wilhelm and Josephine took coats while the wait staff began directing the soggy travelers to the remaining tables and chairs in the main dining room of the restaurant.
The groom, Theodore Obermeyer, who had been missing in all of this, finally crept in with the mayor and his wife. The young man looked seriously frightened of his new bride. Mayor Obermeyer shook his head as he removed his raincoat. He guided Theodore to a seat with the wisdom of a man smart enough not to mess with a bride in full rage mode.
“So, because you’re blaming me for the rain, you’ve decided to crash my wedding?” I felt my own bridal rage beginning to churn in my gut.
“Why the hell not?” she said, her mascara now running little black lines through a layer of foundation. “You seem to have plenty of room, seeing as the town didn’t want to go to the wedding of the calamine killer.”
I started to step forward but felt Leo’s hand on my shoulder.
“Prissy, you’re welcome to share this space out of the rain,” he said, “but stay on that side of the restaurant.” He motioned to the common room.
She picked up her drenched skirts and barked, “I’ll do whatever I damn well please. I’m the bride, after all.”
“She sure is,” Yancey Fischer said, coming in behind her with Pastor Green. He had the look of a man who had seen intense battle and was still in shock. “Sorry for the intrusion folks, but the rain washed out the road into town. You were the closest place to take refuge. Anybody know when it’s going to let up?”
Yancey couldn’t have known he had just entered a room full of weathermen, several of whom awkwardly started raising their hands.
“Whenever it clears up, you all are welcome,” Wilhelm said. “We may not have electricity, but there is a fire in the fireplace, we have enough candles for all the tables, food is already prepared – and the best part is, accordion music requires no electricity!”
With Wilhelm’s announcement, the focus went off of Prissy’s tantrum and to the effort of getting dry and comfortable in the cozy restaurant. The accordion music started back up with a
rollicking version of “She’s Too Fat For Me.” Just what every bride wants to hear on her wedding day.
Prissy’s new husband Theodore Obermeyer timidly tried to escort his bride to a table. As he grasped her elbow, she tore it away. Obviously she was angry at him as well. It ought to be quite a wedding night for those two.
“You dodged a bullet on that one,” Ruby said from her table.
Lavonne, holding a full plate, looked over at Martha. “I can’t believe you’re here so soon after your husband’s death. Shouldn’t you be in black?”
“I’m mourning my husband in my own way,” said Martha. “Stay out of my life, Lavonne.”
“Yeah, well then stay out of my water,” Lavonne replied.
“Lenny said the judge told him he could use it any time he pleased.”
“He said what? Did you actually see the documents that state that? The judge said the water was on my land and you were to cease and desist. Did you double-check your facts with Lenny?”
Martha stalled for a moment. “No, I guess I didn’t.”
“Well, I’ll be happy to show you the judgment.”
Martha’s expression became subdued. “Lenny could have lied. He was sure angry he couldn’t have the water.” She reached out to Lavonne’s hand. “I would like to look at the paperwork, but because I’m running the business now, I’ve decided that I will no longer use your water. It seems only right.”
Lavonne, who had been ready for a big argument, stopped in surprise. “That’s … mighty kind of you.”
“I’m just sorry if he was using water that wasn’t his,” said Martha.
“No harm done. It’s amazing how a little lie can cause so much pain.”
“Are you ready for this?” Leo asked, pulling me away from the ladies.
“Having Prissy here changes things,” I said.
“Not really. It’s probably better this way.”
Dad stepped up. “I’m ready when you are.”
Buzzkill (Pecan Bayou Series) Page 15
