WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HETERONORMATIVITY AND HETEROSEXISM?
These are words you may have never heard before, but you may have felt them! Heteronormativity assumes that what is normal is being heterosexual (attracted to the opposite gender). This can be seen in TV shows, on forms people have to fill out, or even in the words people choose to use. (Remember, it is perfectly normal and healthy if you are not heterosexual.) Heterosexism is believing that heterosexuals are better than others, or that other orientations are wrong or less valuable. These are both biases that can make LGBTQ+ individuals feel ignored, ashamed, and less important.
CHAPTER FIVE
“CAN YOU GET AN STI FROM A TOILET SEAT?”
AND OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN STI AND STD?
STI stands for Sexually transmitted infection. STD stands for Sexually transmitted Disease. Even though they are different terms, they are talking about the exact same things. Many health care clinics and doctors have started using STI rather than STD because the bacteria or virus that was transmitted can create an infection, but that doesn’t always turn into a disease, so “infection” better describes what they are.
I WOULD KNOW IF I HAVE AN STI, RIGHT?
Actually, no, not always. Some common symptoms of STIs are discharge from the penis or vagina; sores/bumps/blisters on the penis, vagina, or anus; and pain or discomfort during sex. If any of these things are going on, you should see a health care provider. But, it is important to remember that many STIs show no symptoms! The only way to know for sure if a person has or does not have an STI is to go get tested.
You have to ask for an STI test when you go to a health care provider. They don’t just give one to you automatically.
Yes, a cold sore is a type of herpes. It is herpes simplex-1, and it is often found on the outside and inside of the mouth, and even in the nose. It is possible for herpes from the mouth to spread to the penis, vagina, or anus during oral sex. A person can get medicine for a herpes outbreak so that it is less painful and goes away faster. But even with medicine, herpes does not get “cured.” That means the symptoms may come and go, but the herpes virus will live in the body forever. If someone has sores they can see or feel, its best to not have sex, because this is when people are more likely to pass it on.
LET’S SAY I MASTURBATE. IF I DO, CAN I GIVE MYSELF AN STI?
Masturbating is when someone touches their own sexual parts using their hands, a sex toy, or another object because it feels good. Masturbation is healthy and normal, and it is up to each person to decide whether it feels good to masturbate or not. Here is the good news: a person cannot give themselves an STI. If they already have an STI, they are not going to give it to themselves again. If they do not have an STI, they can’t create one by masturbating.
HIV is a viral Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI). That means if you get HIV, you will have it for the rest of your life. HIV is most commonly spread through specific bodily fluids: blood, semen (cum), pre-ejaculate (precum), rectal fluids, vaginal fluids, and breast milk. Since most hugs, handshakes, and kisses do not usually share these fluids, HIV is not spread during these activities. FYI: you also cannot get HIV from sharing food, toilets, or drinks with a person with HIV.
HOW LONG DO YOU LIVE WHEN YOU GET HIV?
Just like any other infection, it is important to get treatment for HIV. If someone takes medicine to treat their HIV, they can live a long time. However, if someone doesn’t receive treatment, the virus can progress into AIDS. AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, a condition that makes it so a person has a harder time fighting off infections. Developing AIDS could take anywhere from a few years to over 20 years.
Most people get STIs from oral, anal, or vaginal sex with someone who already has an STI. There are a few other ways people can get an STI without having sex; one of these is through sexual skin-to-skin contact, which is how herpes is spread. People can also get some STIs from sharing needles, from breast milk, or during birth. So, yes, it is possible for someone who has not had sex to have an STI.
The most common STI is HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) which can be spread through sexual skin-to-skin contact. It is estimated that over 79 million Americans have HPV. Most of those people are in their teens and early 20s.20
No. If two people consent to having sex with each other and neither has an STI, they can’t create an STI by having sex together. One person must have an STI to give it to another person. But it is possible that a person does not know they have an STI, and they can spread it to another person without knowing. Using a condom or dental dam can reduce the chance of spreading STIs. (Or your next date with each other can be getting tested together!)
You can’t tell if a person has an STI just by looking at them. Testing is the only way to know if you have one or not.
CAN YOU GET AN STI FROM SITTING ON A TOILET SEAT?
If someone with an STI uses a toilet seat, it is not likely they will leave the fluids that STIs can live in on the seat. Fluids that STIs can live in include vaginal fluids, semen, blood, breast milk, pre-cum, and rectal fluids. STIs can’t live long on a surface without these fluids. Suggestion: if you see these fluids on a toilet seat, maybe move on to the next stall. But let’s say you don’t and you sit down—you would need to have cuts on your thighs or butt that would make it easy for the bacteria or virus to enter your body in order to get the STI. So sit easy, because it’s not likely.
An untreated STI is the most dangerous STI. The sooner someone gets tested and receives treatment, the better their health will be. Some STIs, long term, can cause infertility or even death if they go untreated, but with proper treatment people can live long, healthy lives. So go get tested!
WHAT WAS THE FIRST STI?
Just like other diseases, STIs have been around throughout history. Cloth condoms were documented as being used in ancient Egypt “to protect against disease.”21 Just like with many diseases, we do not know exactly when STIs started, but we do know how to prevent them from being passed from person to person, and we know how to diagnose them. Not having sex is the most effective way of preventing the spread of STIs. If someone is going to have sex, using an internal or external condom can help prevent getting an STI. And of course, getting tested regularly is a must!
According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) is the most common STI in the United States. But the STI most reported to the CDC is chlamydia. It is important that if a person decides to be sexually active, they understand how to prevent getting and spreading STIs. Many people think “it won’t happen to me” when it comes to STIs, but there would not be 24 million active cases of HPV in the United States if that were true. To learn more, visit texticyc.com.
IS A UTI AN STI?
UTI stands for Urinary Tract Infection. A UTI is not an STI. A person gets a UTI when bacteria gets into the urethral opening. It can cause a person to feel pain when they urinate, feel like they have to go to the bathroom all the time, or feel like even when they do pee, there is still a full bladder. If you think you have a UTI, it’s important to get treated by a health care provider. If left untreated, UTIs can lead to more serious infections.
Whenever someone has sex, it’s a great idea to pee afterwards. This helps clean bacteria away from the urethra and helps prevent UTIs.
It’s not! Yeast infections are infections people can get without ever having sex. They are caused by the bacteria in the vagina getting out of balance. Yeast infections can come from using antibiotics, from not wearing breathable underwear, or from something else. However, their symptoms can be similar to some STIs (changes in discharge, itching, or pain with vaginal sex). A person who has these symptoms should talk to a health care provider. Yeast infections can also be passed to a partner or worsened by having sex, so it’s important for a person to wait at least seven days after their symptoms go away and/or they have had treatment before having s
ex again.
Using condoms to help prevent STIs is a great idea. External condoms (condoms that go on the penis) and internal condoms (condoms that go inside the vagina or anus) work really well and create a barrier to prevent fluids from spreading from one partner to another. But some things to consider are: condoms are not 100% effective and they do not cover all of the skin in the genital area, so they do not always prevent all STIs. Even though condoms aren’t 100% effective, they are still the most effective way to protect partners from the spreading of STIs during sex.
If condoms aren’t used correctly or aren’t used during the entire sexual activity, there is still a risk of pregnancy and/or STIs. So if people start having sex and then put a condom on halfway through, they may not be protected.
WHERE WOULD YOU BUY A DENTAL DAM IF FOR SOME REASON YOU REALLY WANTED ONE?
A dental dam is a thin piece of material, typically latex, that can be used during oral sex on the vagina or anus to prevent the spread of STIs. People can get a dental dam at local health centers or even purchase them online. If someone does not have a dental dam, they can cut open a latex condom to create a barrier.
ARE THERE CONDOMS FOR WOMEN?
Yes! There are internal condoms made for vaginas. The condom is called FC2. The condom is inserted into the vagina and it can help prevent both pregnancy and STIs. (See the Birth Control chapter for steps on how to use an internal condom!)
Fun Facts About Internal Condoms:
They can be inserted up to six hours ahead of time
They’re super lubricated
They’re made of nitrile, so they’re great for a person who is allergic to latex
Nitrile warms to body temperature, so people think it feels more natural
They cover more of the vulva, which offers added protection from STIs spread through skin-to-skin contact
IS THERE ANY WAY TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM STIs BEFORE HAVING SEX?
Absolutely! A person can get a vaccine to help prevent the most common strains of HPV (Human papilloma Virus). There is also a once-a-day pill called PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylactics) that can be taken to prevent HIV. Also, communicating with your partner about what type of protection to use and whether you’ve ever been tested can be a great way to help you stay safe!
CAN YOU CURE AN STI?
Some STIs are curable and some are not. If the STI is bacterial (like chlamydia), it can be cured with antibiotics. If the STI is viral (like herpes), it cannot be cured. There are a variety of medications and treatments that can support a person in staying healthy if they live with a viral STI. The best way to know if a person has a viral or bacterial STI is to get tested.
Chlamydia is the most common STI reported and is most common in young people. So, while you can get rid of chlamydia with proper treatment, you need to get tested to make sure you can treat it!22
CAN I SHAVE MY PUBES TO GET RID OF CRABS?
“Pubes” is another word for pubic hair. Crabs are a parasite that grab onto pubic hair, lay eggs, and feed on blood by biting the skin (and yeah, under a microsope they actually look like little crabs). Crabs can be spread through sexual activity. Shaving pubic hair does not necessarily get rid of all crabs and eggs. It is important to use medicated shampoos on the infected area to make sure that all crabs and eggs have been removed. Talk to a trusted adult or health care provider for help.
So many people want to go get tested the next day after having sex, but that won’t tell you what you want to know. A person should typically wait two or three weeks after having sex before getting tested to make sure any STIs will show up on the test.23 But don’t wait too long to be tested because some people won’t ever get symptoms. So, a person who is concerned that they might have an STI should go get tested whether they have symptoms or not. Remember, engaging in sexual activity without using condoms or dental dams increases your chance of getting an STI.
CAN I FIND OUT IF I HAVE AN STI BY PUTTING A LEMON ON MY PENIS?
Well, let’s not do that, okay? Not only will it not tell a person if they have an STI, if lemon juice gets in the urethra it will sting. There are a lot of myths out there about how to tell if someone has an STI. Here is the truth: nothing will tell a person if they have an STI better than going to the doctor and getting tested. So put down that lemon and make an appointment!
Well, you could wear goggles, if you want to. But, it would be more effective to wear a condom on the penis or sex toy to avoid sharing fluids. It is possible to get an STI in the eyes and elsewhere anytime fluids are present in oral, anal, or vaginal sex.
Interesting, but no, it would be too much of a choking hazard. There is not a condom designed to be worn on the tongue, but there are dental dams (for oral sex on the vagina or anus) and external condoms (for oral sex on a penis) that someone can wear to protect themselves and their partner(s). If you are using an external condom on the penis, it might be a good idea to use a condom without spermicide on it. The spermicide is a chemical and does not taste good. Instead, you might want to try flavored condoms. Flavored condoms are specifically designed for oral sex on the penis and can be found at a drug store or health care center.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the answer was no? But that is not always true. STIs such as herpes, syphilis, and HPV can be transmitted (shared) through skin-to-skin contact with an infected area. Even though it is possible to get infections on other parts of your body, the genitals and mouth are the most common parts to get infected. They don’t call them SEXually transmitted for nothing!
Other ways STIs can pass are through blood, semen, precum/pre-ejaculate, vaginal or anal fluids, and breast milk.
HPV can be both… or more! HPV is a unique STI because it has lots of different strains (over 40!). This means there are a lot of different types of HPV. Some types of HPV can cause genital warts, which are cauliflower-shaped bumps that show up on the genitals. Other types of HPV don’t cause bumps but can lead to different types of cancer if not treated. However, most types of HPV don’t do anything noticeable, and symptoms often go away on their own. If a person has tested positive for HPV, it’s important they talk to their doctor about the next steps when it comes to self care for the type of HPV they have.
You cannot tell if a person has an STI by the way they look, so the only way to know is to talk it out! Talking to your partner(s) about STIs, testing, and protection is important before deciding to be sexual together. If you’re still concerned about potential STIs, go and get tested together. If someone won’t get tested, you need to decide if that is a person you want to have a sexual relationship with. Because getting tested is super easy, and when it comes to being safe, you only have one body—so protect it!
HOW OFTEN SHOULD I GET TESTED?
How often a person should get tested depends on their sexual behavior. It is important to get tested with each new partner, or at least once a year. Even if someone has a long term partner, it’s important to get tested at least once yearly. If someone is having sex with multiple partners, getting tested more often, like every three to six months, can help them and their partners stay informed about their health.
During annual check ups, not all doctors automatically test for STIs. To make sure you are getting the tests you need, talk to your doctor about STI testing.
When someone tests positive for an STI, they should wait at least seven days after finishing any medication prescribed and wait until their symptoms are gone before having sex again. Remember: some STIs are cured by medication whereas others are not. If someone has a viral STI (which cannot be cured) they need to use an internal or external condom to reduce the chance of spreading it to their partner. If you have recently had an STI, it’s important to inform any new partners.
WHERE COULD I GO TO GET TESTED?
Great news—there are so many places a person can go to get tested! What’s available to you depends on where you live. Doctor’s offices, departments of health, and Planned Parenthood clinics all offer STI testing. Some schools also have
clinics that can provide testing. To find a Planned Parenthood clinic near you, visit texticyc.com.
Getting an STI is not like getting a cold, where you can just get some rest and eat some soup and it goes away. Almost no STIs go away on their own, even if their symptoms seem to. If you have an STI, it is important to go to a doctor to be treated. (After that, you can eat soup if you want. I get it. It’s a comfort thing.) If STIs are left untreated, it is possible they can lead to more serious health problems.
In Case You're Curious Page 5
