“Lev?”
As she walks over to me, Bob says, “I brought him here earlier. He said he wanted to try to help Elizabeth as soon as possible so he could replace the dagger and keep Evan out of the loop.”
“So you have the dagger?” Kane asks in a calm voice, shifting his gaze to me as well.”
I nod. “Yes. I do.”
He frowns. “Are you sure it’s the right dagger?”
I think back to the hologram he presented, and the image of the dagger I took seems to match. “I believe so.” Yet even as I answer, doubts plague me, so I reach back and gently ease the dagger from my waistband.
Bob’s mouth slips open and he shakes his head. “That’s an ancient artifact, Lev. Perhaps you should be careful.”
I look at the steel, suddenly struck by how beautiful the blade appears. The silver gleams in a way that suggests the light emanates from within. There’s a heat building in the grip and it warms my palm. That’s when I realize there is something unique about this blade. It is an entity of its own, not a mere weapon to be used. I just have no clue as to what its true purpose is or why Evan had it to begin with.
“May I see it?” Theresa asks, nodding toward the blade.
Some part of me doesn’t want to hand over the weapon, and the chaos begins building again, swirling darkly inside me. Yet this time, I do not think the chaos is completely of my own making. Part of it comes from that blade.
She reaches toward it, and I know I should tell her to leave it be, but the words won’t come. If they do, I won’t be able to heal Elizabeth’s memory, and I have to do that. I have to. No matter how difficult it is, things can’t stay as they are for her sake. She deserves to have a full life unmarred by my existence.
Theresa’s fingers wrap around the handle and lift it from my palm. Even as the blade leaves, I feel a coolness replace the heat. For just a second, the blade seems to glow even brighter, as though it is communicating by light. I feel the chaos take a more firm hold of me, and I know I need to get the dagger back. I try to reach up and take it, but Theresa as much quicker.
“Calm yourself, Lev, I just want to look at the blade. Nothing more.”
Nervous, I finally lower my hand and watch her take it in both hands, staring at the blade as she runs a finger across the gleaming silver. This is wrong, I think. I can feel the disturbance within, and the dagger is still glowing; Celia was right and I have been a fool.
“I should take that back,” I tell her, stepping toward her, yet even as I draw closer, Kane steps between us, cutting me off path.
“Why so nervous?” Kane asks. “Don’t you wish to heal Elizabeth?”
As he asks, I suddenly realize the answer. “You lied. That blade can’t erase her memories. It won’t work on a mortal.” I keep watching the dagger, trying to find a chance to get to it without Kane being in the way.
A smile turns Kane’s lips upward. This is the first time I’ve seen any emotion at all from him, and I feel something stirring within him—chaos. But this chaos is centralized and growing, unlike anything else I’ve ever felt.
“It’s a shame we had to trick you. But we need this dagger more than you do. Otherwise, Evan will destroy us, and I can’t let that happen.” He holds up his hand, and suddenly a wave of chaos hits. The pain rips through me, leaving me in darkness.
Chapter Fifteen
“Lev?” The voice is distant, and as I reach for consciousness, trying to swim through the dark caress of sleep, I feel the pain surrounding it, waiting for me to wake. I try to answer, but the sound that comes out is a moan.
“Lev, you need to wake up!” The tone is more urgent. This time, I feel someone shaking me, jostling me back into the pain. I open my eyes, and the light seems to spear through me. Gasping, I shut my eyes and try to relax, hoping it will drive away the pain.
“Lev, are you all right?” Celia. The voice is now clear. They’re her hands.
“I don’t know,” I finally manage.
“We need to get you to Evan.”
“No!” Despite the pain, I force myself to look at her. She’s kneeling beside me, frowning worriedly. “I don’t want to see him.” I look around to find I am still in Theresa’s house, but it appears Celia and I are alone. Fitting. I seriously doubt Kane and the others will be back, not since they took the dagger, which is probably what they wanted all along.
At first, the pain shoots through me, but then I realize it’s the chaos, the same chaos Kane somehow used to knock me flat on my back so they could escape. Now that I know what he’s done, I force myself to concentrate and push the chaos back. That relieves the pain.
“What happened?” she asks.
“You were right.” I rake my fingers through my hair and sit up despite her trying to keep me down. “Kane waited until Theresa had the dagger to attack me. Kane, Theresa, and Bob escaped. I don’t know about Sarah, Jayzee, or Colin. They weren’t here when I showed the blade.” As I turn to Celia, I see she is cringing, and I realize that perhaps she knows something I don’t. “What is so important about that dagger, Celia?”
“I don’t know, exactly. I do know Evan has been assigned a different task—that of dealing with rogue angels. That’s why he had the dagger.”
I start to struggle to my feet, and Celia helps me up. “Has he realized the dagger is gone?”
She shakes her head. “No, not yet.”
“We have to get it back.” My voice is frantic, just like I feel.
“Yeah, well, that would be nice, but we don’t even know where Kane would be.”
While I’m not totally sure, I do have a hunch. The side of Kane I saw right at the end before he attacked me was that of a sadistic angel who wanted nothing more than to hurt others. What better way to hurt me than through Elizabeth? While it could be nothing, right now it’s all I have to go on.
“I think perhaps he might have gone to Elizabeth as a way to mess with me. Let me guess—Kane and I didn’t exactly get along, either.” I look at her, and when she nods yes, I’m not surprised.
“The two of you had many arguments about how things should be and you caught him several times not doing as he should have done. When you reported those slights to Evan, he reported it higher up, which probably resulted in Evan being the one to deal with the rogue angels.”
“Then we need to get to Elizabeth. I don’t know what he’s going to do, but I’m not just going to wait around and see what happens in hopes it’s not so bad.”
“All right. Let’s go.” We both rush outside and throw our bodies into the air, and the moment our wings appear, we sail higher, Celia leading the way.
“I should have listened to you,” I say.
“You wanted to believe there was a way to fix things.” Her gaze is pointed toward the sky instead of at my face.
We lapse into silence; all I can think of is getting to Elizabeth. I know he’s had all too much time to do things while I’ve been out of it. I just have to hope I’m not too late. Gritting my teeth, I try not to focus on the chaos, knowing that if I think too much about it, it will overwhelm me again. I can’t risk that.
Although Celia is flying toward Elizabeth’s house, when I focus on the connection between us, it doesn’t seem to be coming from that way. “I don’t think we’re going the right way,” I tell her, breaking off to head more south.
While Celia is puzzled by my sudden shift, she follows suit. “How do you know where to go?”
“I sense it.”
As we fly lower, I realize she’s walking on the trail by the waterfalls, a place that is more laden with memories than is healthy for either of us. Lower and lower. It doesn’t take much for me to realize she stands at the falls, and I know it’s no accident Kane has led her here.
I turn towards Celia. “How much does Kane know about my relationship with Elizabeth?”
She takes a deep breath and exhales softly. “Probably more than any of us would like. There’s no telling how long he’s been watching you, Lev. He’s bee
n waiting for the chance to get back at you for a long time.”
Finally, as we turn the last bend where the waterfall cascades, I see Elizabeth at the railing, staring out into space. No, not space, exactly. An image of the teenager I used to be floats just above her. While she hasn’t seen him yet, he’s close—so close. Although his wings are dirty, more dark grey than white, they still flash in the sunlight. They always will regardless of how much they change due to how far he slips from what the pure intention of what he was. It’s part of not being from this world.
“Get away from her,” I yell at Kane.
As he turns, I see my old face, I feel slightly disoriented. Although I know that skin isn’t me any more than this is, it’s still strange to see it on someone else. “Why? Are you afraid?”
“Leave Elizabeth out of this!”
He offers a hateful smile. “Too late.”
It’s then his form glimmers into the corporeal world where Elizabeth can see him. But she’s not seeing Kane. She’s seeing me because that’s what she wants to see.
“Elizabeth,” he whispers softly, transforming his leering smile to something much softer, an expression I would have worn when I spoke to her.
She blinks a couple of times and then she sees him. “Lev?”
“Yes.” He reaches out for her hand but there is just enough distance that she is forced to climb up the railing to try to get to him.
“Stop it!” I yell. I start to fly toward him, but Celia holds me back.
“You can’t let her see you. We’ll have to deal with whatever damage he does when this is over.”
I turn toward her and whisper, “And what if we can’t deal with it, Celia? What if it is too great? Should I simply abandon Elizabeth to his destruction?”
She points to Kane. “The damage has already been done whether you realize it or not. It was done the moment she saw him as you.”
I feel the chaos swirling with it, and it takes everything I’ve got to reign it in as I watch the girl I love rise to the top of the railing and balance there, still reaching for something Kane can’t give her—something no one can ever give her again.
“Come to me,” he whispers, luring her.
She reaches, almost able to grab his fingers. That’s when her eyes widen. I sense the fall coming even before she does. “Get Kane. He’s probably got the dagger. I’ll get Elizabeth.”
Kane lifts suddenly, and she tilts forward. She can’t lean back to restore her balance. Instead, she begins plummeting toward the roiling water below. Her high—pitched screams sound like bird cries, and her arms and legs flail wildly.
I dive toward her, my wings flashing against the water. At this moment, I don’t think about her seeing me. All I can think about is changing my face to be the one she expects to find. Still, I don’t know if I can reach her before her body breaks against the water.
I try not to think about it, yet I remember the first time, when she was with Griffin and fell over the falls. I didn’t know if I would get to her in time then, either. It seems so long ago now—so long and so painful to remember.
Even as I dive, I see her body impact the water, and I move faster, trying not to think about the rocks and what they will do to her. I feel neither the cold nor the impact of fluid against me. My eyes take a moment to adjust to the light, and I see Elizabeth’s body plummeting toward the bottom. Her arms and legs are still thrashing. Before I can get to her, she slams her head against a large rock. In that instant, all her motion stops, and her body starts to sink.
I propel faster. The chaos threatens to overtake me, but I force myself not to think of it, only Elizabeth, only getting to her in time and pulling her to safety above the cold water. I reach out and grasp her hands, then encircle her body with one arm as I propel us upward in frantic haste.
One moment we are in the water, and the next we are flying. I carry her limp body to land and kneel over her. In that moment, I feel the sojourn call coming from her body, and a coldness runs through me. It won’t end like this. I won’t let it.
Shaking, I bend over and perform CPR. It’s something I’ve seen so many mortals do just before the human dies, and I have the motions memorized. I just never quite expected to be using them to save the girl I loved. The world is surreal, and I want this day to be over. Actually, I want it never to have occurred.
“Come on, Elizabeth! Breathe.” I seem to be breathing for her forever, breathing and waiting. Stillness. I don’t know how long I’m there before she finally coughs up water and I roll her on her side.
She’s disoriented, and right away she tries to get up, but I won’t let her. I set my palm on her chest right under her throat and keep her down. “You hit your head pretty hard. You should probably stay put.”
As soon as I know she’s not going to fight me, I touch the back of her head, and sure enough I feel the rise where her skull slammed into the rock. Although her hair wets my fingers, there is no blood, which is a good thing.
A second later, I look into her dark eyes, and the world seems to stop as we recognize each other. I can’t look away. I can’t hide myself. All I can do is stare.
“Lev?” Her voice is weak and broken, and while I’d like to say it’s from striking her head, I know it’s because she sees my face and recognizes who I am. In that instant, I curse myself for not changing my appearance.
It’s all I can do not to embrace her. I’ve missed her so much, and her finally seeing me makes it all so much calmer. But I can let her go on thinking I’m still here. I shut my eyes and blur my features back into the new me, the one she won’t recognize.
“I’m sorry?” I pretend like I don’t understand her.
She blinks disorientedly, and scrutinizes me. “I..thought you were someone else.” Then she quickly sits up.
“You might want to take it easy. You really hit your head hard.”
She doesn’t look at me. Instead, she searches for the me who makes sense to her, the one who has always been close to save her. What I wouldn’t give for her to know I’m still here. But to what end? What could it accomplish? I’m not her guardian. I’m her sojourner, which means until she is dying, there isn’t anything to connect us anymore.
She stands rather quickly, and I’m afraid she’s going to fall. “Perhaps you should sit down.”
“Lev?” she calls, searching.
“Who are you looking for?” I ask, trying to keep my tone even despite the chaos building inside of me.
Elizabeth looks at the path and runs up it, heading back toward the falls, a place I really don’t think she needs to go, all things considered, so I quickly catch up to her and grab her arm.
“Are you all right?” I ask, trying to break her stride.
“Leave me alone!” Tears glitter in her eyes, threatening to run down her face. She jerks free and starts running again. I follow because I don’t know what else to do. I’m still worried about that bump on her head. More than once she runs into a tree branch, and it appears her gait is uneven.
“Hey, wait,” I yell, wishing I could get her to stop. I don’t think anything is going to stop her, and I wonder what is going to happen when she gets to the falls and realizes I’m not there. What will she make of all this?
She keeps running. Once she starts to stumble but rights herself at the last moment. She doesn’t stop until she rounds the bend of the falls and reaches the railing. She breathes so hard it doubles her over, and she has to catch her breath before shouting my name again. Worried Kane might still be lurking nearby, I scan the area, but he is nowhere to be found. Again, she calls for me.
Her tone is desperate, and I know she’s reaching a breaking point. All I can do is watch as the misery consumes her. She grips the rail with both hands so tightly her knuckles turn white. Thinking she might actually climb the rail again, I rush toward her, knowing her balance is likely shot.
“Perhaps you should step away from there.” I ease behind her, near enough so that I could grab her if necessary but
not so close that she feels pressure.
“Leave me alone!” She doesn’t even bother to look at me, and now the tears are falling. “Lev! I know you’re here.” She starts climbing the railing.
To anyone else, it would appear she was crazy, yet I know she is just looking for me. She knows I’ve always been there to protect her. She’s probably guessing that if she does this, throws her body into the water again, it will force me to appear. That’s what she wants more than anything, and that’s the one thing I can’t give her.
“Please come down from there.”
Instead of yelling or even speaking, she keeps climbing. She’s already on the third step, and now I know I don’t have a choice. I swiftly reach forward and raise myself into the air so I can wrap both arms around her and pull her down.
“Get away from me!” She starts screaming and fighting, trying everything she can to break loose, but I won’t let go. Sobs hiccup through her. She starts screaming my name over and over. The sound tears at me like sharpened claws, and it’s all I can do to keep holding her against her will and breaking her heart all over again.
How could I have been so stupid?
I lean toward her and whisper, “Sleep, Elizabeth. Sleep and forget.” Her body stills, and she falls against me. If only there were some way I could block other memories, but my power only works on those which have just happened. The rest are beyond me.
I shift her weight so I can carry her in my arms, focus the heat from within me on her so as to dry her clothing and warm her body, and then lift into the sky to fly her back to her house. I cloak both of us from sight so no one questions me, and Jimmie has probably gone to work, so getting through the house unseen is easy.
It takes everything I have not to keep looking down at her sleeping face, so momentarily peaceful in slumber. Her breath eases in and out calmly, and I wish this could go on forever for her—that pain would never touch her again. But I know when she wakes, if she does remember any of this, it will be like a dream, hazy and out-of-focus—something not quite real. How I wish that if I could not remove my memory from her altogether that she would look upon me as just a dream so that she might find the peace she so desperately needs.
Covenant (Sojourner Book 2) Page 15
