by Sherri Renee
Mom stopped filling the glasses with water and shot him an appraising look. “That’s a very mature attitude. It takes most people half their lives to figure that out.”
He looked embarrassed by the compliment but took the filled glasses to the table as if we ate together every night. I got the pizzas and some extra parmesan cheese and sat in my normal chair. Jace waited until my mom sat down before he took his seat.
Mom caught my eye and raised her brow at his manners. I’d been very clear that Jace was just a friend when I’d called to let her know he was coming for dinner. I hoped she didn’t get any crazy ideas.
I glanced up and caught Jace staring at me with a hungry look that I was pretty sure had nothing to do with the pizza on his plate. I looked away and shook cheese on my first slice. I hoped I didn’t get any crazy ideas either.
Chapter 7
Mom went back to her room to rest shortly after we finished eating. Jace helped me clear the table while I put away the food. Now that we were done eating, I wasn’t sure what to do about him. Would he go home? Did he expect to stay and visit? Should I pull out a board game?
I decided to treat him like I would any friend. I carried the flowers into the living room, setting them on the side table and turned on the TV. “I don’t imagine you like romances, do you?”
I gave him a hopeful look as I plopped down on the couch, but I didn’t expect an affirmative answer. The only movies Danny would watch with me were the ones filled with lots of action and gore.
Jace grinned and sat beside me. Not so close that our legs touched but close enough that there was room for two or three more people on the other side of him. “I can always use some fresh inspiration for my books,” he said. “What do you have?”
I’d forgotten he’d written a book for a minute. I looked from his expensive clothes to the expensive flowers and my eyes narrowed. “Just how popular is your book?” I asked.
I’d picked up a copy at the bookstore along with a little Christmas present for him. I noticed it had its own cardboard display case and was easy to find right at the front of the store, but I hadn’t really considered the possibility that it was a best seller.
He gave a modest shrug and focused on the TV. “It does all right. I found an untapped market and people seem to enjoy it.”
That wasn’t really an answer, but in a way it was. I hadn’t really thought about him getting paid for his writing. It made him seem older all of sudden. More mature than the rest of us high schoolers with our little part-time jobs. Or me with no job at all.
“So is writing your dream?” I asked. “I mean, is that the job that will make you happy.”
“Yeah.” He gave his head a slow nod. “It’s a lot of work to actually complete a full-length novel, but there’s nothing better than getting lost in the story as I’m writing it. Usually, I’m just along for the ride as the characters decide what their roles are going to be and come alive as I type.”
There was a smile on his face as he said it and I could tell it really did make him happy.
“I’m proud of you,” I said then felt my cheeks start to burn. I wasn’t sure if he’d take that as condescending or too personal.
Instead, he covered my hand with his where it rested on my knee. “That means a lot coming from you.”
“Coming from me?” I laughed slightly.
“You helped me get where I am.” His face was so serious, his eyes locked on mine.
I let out a surprised laugh. “How’s that?”
His face relaxed, and he sat back. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t have known this, but in our writing class, I always challenged myself to write at least as well if not better than you. You had a natural style I always envied. What seemed to come so easily to you was hard for me, but I kept pushing myself and finally found my pace.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. I was flattered and embarrassed and intrigued all at the same time. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
He removed his hand from mine and crossed his legs, settling his arms on the back of the couch, looking relaxed. All except his mouth. It was pinched with little lines around it. “I had a lot going on last year,” he said. “I didn’t want to get too attached to anyone. So, what are we watching,” he asked, cutting off anything further on the subject.
The subject change was so abrupt I jerked and looked at the black screen. “Oh. What about Sixteen Candles?”
He grinned. “A classic. That sounds perfect.”
Jace laughed out loud several times during the movie and shot me lots of looks. I laughed when he did and made a few comments, pointing out themes I thought he should use in his books, but my main thoughts were on our eleventh grade English class.
I remembered Jace. He was nice. I’d liked him, but he was so quiet. And thin. I remember always thinking he looked too thin, almost ill. I watched him from the corner of my eye.
He was trim now, but muscular and the sunken cheeks were full and healthy. I remembered he’d had dark circles under his eyes most of the time too. I’d thought he just didn’t sleep enough like a lot of high school kids, but now, along with finding out he’d homeschooled for half a year, I had another thought. I wondered if he’d been sick. Like really sick.
The thought made me sad. I hoped I was wrong. I hated to think of him going through something serious like that without any of his friends there to support him. I was pretty sure if he was sick no one at school knew about it because word would have eventually gotten around, and I’d never heard anything.
I shook my head. Maybe I should write my own book because I sure did have a wild imagination. The movie was about half over when my phone rang from the kitchen where I’d left it.
“Excuse me,” I said and sprinted to answer it. It was Danny. My heart caught and I answered it breathlessly.
“Hi,” Danny’s voice came through the phone soft and deep. I couldn’t believe it had been less than a day since he’d driven away. It felt like he’d been gone forever.
We chatted about nothing for a little bit before he started talking about his basketball team and what a good decision it was to move back. I’d thought at some point we’d talk about us, and how we were going to make our relationship work. I thought he’d say he missed me or he was sorry. I thought a lot of things that didn’t happen.
Before I knew it he was hanging up because he had to get up early for practice. I wasn’t surprised he didn’t end the call with an I love you. I knew that was too much to expect since he only “really liked me” this morning, but he didn’t say anything personal at all. No “good night, sweet dreams.” No “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
All I got was an, “Okay, we’ll talk later.”
“Sure,” I’d said, and he was gone. I stared at the phone, absently noting I had five new texts from Kristen, I wondered if she’d just now noticed I was gone. I smiled, then remembered I left Jace sitting alone in the living room for the better part of an hour.
Oh, no! I ran through the house and skidded around the corner into the living room. My eyes landed on the empty couch and I cringed. I darted looks around the room, searching every corner, hoping he might be checking out the books on the shelf or looking out the window, but the room was empty. Dang, it!
I ran to the front closet and yanked it open. His coat was gone. He was gone. I felt terrible. He’d been so nice all day, and then I ditched him without a word.
I cupped my hands on the window in the door and peered out, hoping maybe he hadn’t left yet, but his truck was gone. “Nice, Michelle.” I heaved a long sigh.
I trudged back to the living room. The movie was almost at my favorite part. The part just before the end when the girl finds out the cool guy she’s crushing on likes her too. I settled onto the couch to watch it and something on the table caught my eye.
I leaned forward and picked up a really nice navy blue pen with gold accents. It felt solid and smooth in my hands. A note dangled from a gold ribbon tied around. I flipped the note ove
r and read, Always follow your dreams. Thanks for motivating me to follow mine. JC
I tipped my head to the side and let the words course through me. Long after the movie ended I sat with the pen in my hand, thinking about Jace.
Chapter 8
Even though it was Christmas break we still had cheerleading practice. There were two scrimmage basketball games this week and next week the season officially started for us. It was strange driving up to the almost empty parking lot. Kristen’s 4-Runner was there along with two other cars, but that was it.
I was kind of surprised Kristen beat me. I was the morning person while Kristen decidedly was not. I hadn’t slept much last night though. I felt guilty about it, but if I was honest it was thoughts of Jace and not Danny that kept me awake.
I pulled into the gravel parking lot by the gym and the tires crunched into the rocks as I parked. I turned off the car with a look at the sky. The clouds were still full and heavy, hovering just above the tall trees that surrounded the school, but they were being stingy with their snow. As much as I wanted it to snow, I guessed I should just be glad it wasn’t raining anymore. Freezing rain was the worst.
I grabbed my dark green cheer bag off the passenger seat and jogged to the side door that led to the gym. My breath left white puffs hanging in the air and my lungs stung from the cold as I hurried to get inside. “Brr,” I said as soon as the door closed behind me, rubbing my hands together to ease the chill.
“Michelle!” Jules yelled as if we hadn’t just seen each other at prom a couple of days ago.
I laughed when she ran over and wrapped me in a hug, rocking back and forth as she turned us in a full circle. “Wasn’t prom amazing?” she gushed.
Before I could answer, she said, “How has your Christmas break been so far?” She led me over to where the other girls sat in the middle of the gym, stretching. I stared at her back with a grimace.
I should have prepared myself for that question, but I hadn’t. What was I supposed to say? Danny crushed me like a beetle on the sidewalk yesterday, but it’s all good because this really nice guy I barely know is patching me back up?
She would have been shocked by that answer, but it was how I felt. I knew if I hadn’t run into Jace yesterday I’d still be a blubbery mess today. While I still didn’t know what was going to happen with Danny, Jace had soothed a lot of the sting.
“Okay,” I answered vaguely. “And I know you’re having a great break.” I pointed at Kristen, and her cheeks turned pink. Her light brown hair was up in a ponytail and love lit her brown eyes.
“I’m so sorry about yesterday.” She scrunched up her face.
I stopped her before she could go on. “No, no. You don’t get off with an ‘I’m sorry.’ I want all the details. I take it you and Matt are, um, getting along?” I laughed.
The girls all spun to face Kristen, their faces full of various degrees of expectation and curiosity as they waited for the dirt. She smiled around at all of us and nodded. “You could say that.”
“That’s hardly a detail,” I complained.
“What about George?” Megan asked and everyone turned to stare at her. She shrugged without looking up as she tied her shoelace, and her dark hair partially obscured her face. “I’m just asking. You guys were all hot and heavy one day and the next day you’re hot and heavy with someone else.”
I narrowed my eyes and took a step towards her. Kristen shook her head at me. “There was a lot going on behind the scenes with me and George that you might not have heard about. We hadn’t been in a real relationship in quite awhile. And something else you might not have heard is that he broke up with me so he could date someone else. Not the other way around.”
Megan shrugged and kept her eyes on her shoes as she messed with her laces. Everyone else busied themselves with stretching. I didn’t know if they knew the whole story of what George had put Kristen through or not, but they should.
It wasn’t right that anyone thought Kristen was in the wrong, but I’d let her deal with it the way she felt best. And I had to admit, her abbreviated statement not only gave a framework of what had happened, it had also shut Megan up.
Kristen handled that so much better than I ever could have. I gave her an admiring look. That was probably why she was head cheerleader. She always seemed to know how to handle sensitive situations. The door opened and the gym echoed with chatter as more girls started straggling in.
It was hard to get practice going. Everyone was mentally on Christmas break. There was a lot of visiting and even more gossip, but pretty soon Kristen cracked the whip.
We all stood up with groans. Or maybe that was just me. I was stiff and sore even though I hadn’t done anything more strenuous than my crying jag yesterday. I wondered if that really was why I was sore.
“Where’s Laurie?” One of the younger girls, Allison Carr innocently asked, looking around.
That started a fresh burst of chatter as those who knew, or at least thought they knew about Laurie’s involvement with the canceled game Friday, shared their knowledge with everyone else. I went over to stand beside Kristen, ready to offer her my support if she needed it in whatever way I could.
Kristen could have been killed Friday, thanks in part to Laurie and George, and I knew it had to be nerve-wracking to hear everyone talking about it so casually. I put a hand on Kristen’s shoulder. She smiled at me but shook her head, making her brown ponytail swing slightly.
She whispered, “Don’t make it a big deal. It will die faster that way.”
I noticed her hands shaking, but her face was expressionless as she listened to the speculations being tossed around. I was so thankful she had Matt in her life. I had no doubt she wouldn’t be sailing through the George fiasco nearly as smoothly without Matt beside her.
Kristen let the gossip fly for a few more minutes before clapping her hands. “Ladies,” she said, gaining everyone’s attention. “Let’s get this practice started so we can get out of here early enough to enjoy the rest of the day.”
She started some music and faced the groups. “I’ve been working on a new routine. It’s similar to one we learned at camp with just a few changes so it shouldn’t take us too long to get it down. Ready?” She snapped her fingers in time with the music and ran through the routine while we watched.
I focused on her feet, noting the changes she made. They were good, and she was right, they shouldn’t be difficult to remember. I loved cheering. I’d been doing it since seventh grade. Today, though, I would have preferred sneaking away with Kristen so we could just talk. I was sure she still had things to rehash, especially with all the things the girls were saying about Laurie.
And I was ready to pour out all my confused feelings and get her opinion on them. Because boy, was I confused. Danny had sent me exactly one text this morning telling me their team was playing us Thursday so he’d see me then.
I should have been excited, but instead, I was hurt. What would have happened if our teams weren’t playing? Would he have made the drive to see me or would he have been too busy jumping back into his old life? I was pretty sure I knew the answer to that and it made me feel hollow inside.
I’d thought about offering to drive up and visit him, but he didn’t really give me an opening. All he talked about when he called last night was how busy he was with basketball and stuff. I felt like it would be an imposition on him if I went to visit. I’d be cutting into his precious basketball time.
I figured once he’d been there a little while things would settle down. He’d have more time then and we could make some plans for our future. I already felt him drifting away, though, and I was as mad as I was hurt.
Was I really that far off in thinking we’d shared such a special connection? Had it all been in my imagination? I’d been rushing things thinking about marriage so soon, I realized that now, but I thought we were at least in a solid dating relationship.
After running through the dance routine more times than I wanted to count, we spen
t a little bit of time on cheers. Most of the cheers we used for basketball were simple and repetitive, but there were a couple of complicated ones we were going to try out at the practice games this week so we spent most of our time on those.
When Kristen finally announced practice was over I laid out flat on the gym floor and spread my arms to the sides with my eyes closed. I was beat.
“Aww. Did I push you too hard?” Kristen teased, nudging me with the toe of her shoe.
I laid a hand over my eyes and peeked up at her through my fingers. She looked as perky and fresh as she did when we’d started practice. “What’s wrong with you?” I grumbled. “You didn’t even break a sweat.”
She reached down and grabbed both of my hands to help me to my feet. “I’ve been playing basketball with Matt.” Her whole face lit when she said his name. I’m pretty sure the gold flecks in her eyes actually sparkled. “I guess it’s getting me in shape,” she added.
“I don’t think that’s all you’ve been playing with Matt,” I tossed over my shoulder as I went to get my water bottle. I took a long drink, watching her blush as I did. “Um-hm.” I wiped my mouth and nodded. “I saw the way you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”
She couldn’t stop smiling, but she wrinkled her nose. “I’m such a terrible friend. You came over to visit me, and I totally ignored you. Where’d you and Jace disappear to anyway?”
She packed her stuff in her gym bag, and I took another drink, giving myself time to come up with an answer. I wanted to talk to her about Jace but not here in front of everyone.
Kara came over, giving me a reprieve. Her curly red hair did its best to spring loose from the bun she had it in, but instead of looking messy it made her look even cuter. “Hey, guys. Bobby’s having a party at his house Friday. You have to come.”
I frowned and shared a look with Kristen. I was pretty sure Bobby’s drug test didn’t come back clean. I couldn’t believe he’d be having a party this soon if that was the case. I figured it would be rude to bring that up though. “He’s having a party on Christmas Eve eve?” I asked instead.
