“Marcus told me about your mother,” Myra said. Terrie gave her a puzzled look.
“Oh, yeah,” I said. “I was definitely trained to confuse love and abuse.”
That wasn’t the only thing I was confused about. I looked at them. “What I don’t understand is why you care. You’re being incredibly supportive. More than you really have to.”
I knew I’d said the wrong thing immediately. Terrie’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open. I couldn’t interpret the look on Myra’s face.
“We’re your friends,” Terrie said.
“No one else ever cared about me,” I said. “Except Jake. None of the other girls I’ve ever known wanted to be friends with me.” I should have understood the warning in Myra’s eyes, but I blurted it out anyway. “Is it because I’m paying you?”
I didn’t see it coming. Myra jumped up from the couch and spun away from me.
“How dare you?” she said, tears in her eyes. “How fucking dare you?” She was furious, an expression with which I was all too familiar from growing up with my mother.
Terrie jumped up and stood in front of her. “Because she doesn’t know any better. Don’t you understand? Did you have any friends when you were modeling? Did you trust any of them?”
Whirling back to face me, Terrie said, “I know what you put up with at Peabody. I had to deal with the same kind of jealous bitches at the Conservatory. But just like Jake isn’t like Eddie, Myra and I aren’t like those cunts. Don’t lump all women together.”
“Oh, God. I’m sorry, Myra. I’m so sorry.” It hit me how cruel I had been. “I didn’t mean it that way. I ... I just don’t know why anyone likes me. I’m such a fucking mess. I understand that I make people money, but Jake’s the only person who has ever treated me nice without wanting something.”
The expression on Myra’s face softened. “You really don’t, do you? Cecily, why do you think Jake likes you?”
For the first time, I really considered that question. I had always sort of shied away from thinking about it. “I don’t know. I mean, not really. I know he likes the sex, and I make him laugh and he likes that, and he likes music. I do everything I can to try and please him.”
“And why do you like him?” Myra asked, cocking her head to the side and furrowing her brow.
“Because he’s kind, and he’s gentle. He listens to me, and he teaches me things. He makes me laugh, and he makes me feel important. Not just because I have talent, but important just being me. He makes me feel safe. He cared for me even when he didn’t know who I was. He saved my life just because I asked him to. He didn’t even know me. No one ever cared about me before, only what I could do for them.”
I took a deep breath. “I know that it won’t last, not the way it is now. He could have a lot of women, ones who are beautiful and don’t have all my problems. But I’m going to enjoy it while I have him.”
Terrie shrugged. “Well, I know why you got along with that Eddie guy. You aren’t very bright either. I have to hand it to you, though—you put on a pretty good front most of the time.”
“Jesus,” Myra breathed. She stepped forward and grabbed me by the shoulders.
“Do you really think that Jake likes you because you screw him?” Myra asked. “That’s like you saying that you like him because he screws you. Are you telling me that you think Jake is a liar? Do you think that he says he loves you just to get in your pants?”
“Don’t you talk about Jake like that!” I said, twisting out of her grasp. All of a sudden, I was mad as hell. “You don’t know him. Jake would never do that.”
The corners of her mouth crooked into a slight smile. “I don’t think he would, either. I give him more credit than that. You should give yourself more credit than that. ”
“Don’t act stupid, Cecily,” Terrie said. “It doesn’t become you.”
~~~
Chapter 25
Jake
After Cecily called me, I called her agent, Tim Cummings. I felt as though a huge hole had opened underneath me. The thought of losing Cecily made my mind go blank. I couldn’t imagine a life without her.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked, trying to keep my fear and anger under control.
“I’m not sure,” Tim answered. “I was hoping you could tell me. All I know is that Myra called this afternoon demanding a security team and limo for Cecily. She said some guy they ran into on the street threatened her.”
“What kind of threat?” I asked. “Did you or any of your people see this guy?”
“No,” he said. “By the time I got to them, none of them were talking.”
“None of who?”
“Cecily, Myra and Terrie went to lunch and to do some shopping,” Tim said. “They were walking to the concert hall when whatever happened, happened. They ducked into a crowded coffee shop, Myra called me, and I called a security firm I’d used before.”
I could hear the frustration in his voice.
“Jake, what the hell is going on?”
I took a deep breath. “Tim, I assume you know about Cecily’s hiatus from performing.”
“Of course,” he said. “I researched her thoroughly before I signed her. Jake, there are a lot of flakes in the music business. I’ve been burned before by talented people who couldn’t stay sober enough to get on stage.”
“Well,” I said, “that break she took was because she fell in with the wrong crowd. She had a boyfriend who was into the drug scene. A dealer. She wasn’t ever hooked, but definitely a bad crowd. He’s dead now, but she’s scared to death of his old cronies. She told me that one of them showed up yesterday.”
Tim thanked me for filling him in on the reasons behind the girls’ freak out, and after discussing the security arrangements he had made, promised to keep me informed. After we hung up, I called Kerrigan and we discussed the problem.
“Jake, I don’t blame her for being scared,” Kerrigan said. “The situation in Baltimore is pretty chaotic right now. The drug trade there has always been pretty violent, but with the crackdown that’s going on, the violence has escalated. Anyone who is vaguely suspected of being an informant stands a good chance of getting shot every time they stick their head out the door. In addition, the arrests are creating power vacuums, and the various gangs are fighting for territory. The murder rate is running almost double the slaughter from a year ago.”
“Maybe she should cancel the tour,” I said.
“Jake, I know the firm Cummings hired. You couldn’t protect her any better in Colorado. I do think that she’s correct, though. I would be concerned about security once she comes home.”
“I don’t think someone from Baltimore is going to show up in Greeley,” I said. “They’d stick out like a sore thumb. Besides, they may think they’re tough, but I can take care of myself, and I can take care of Cecily.”
“I’m sure your commanders said the same type of thing about a bunch of ragged jihadis in Afghanistan,” Kerrigan said. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking the drug pushers aren’t dangerous just because they’re crazy and they’re not trained.”
I lay awake that night thinking about what Kerrigan said. The following day, I swung by the county sheriff’s office on my way to work. Ted Yost had been a close friend of my father’s, and I went to high school with two of his sons. The older one joined the Marines and hadn’t come back from Iraq. Ted and I had a chat, and he promised to alert his men. Any big-city-looking Latinos in rented cars would get extra scrutiny from his deputies.
Then I called Dave Thomas and asked him to meet Cecily in Boston and take over directing her security.
~~~
Chapter 26
Cecily
There weren’t any more incidents as we moved from New York to Boston, to Chicago and then out to the West Coast. When I was a child star, I always had security when I performed, so it wasn’t difficult for me to adjust to my new restrictions.
Myra chafed at having a bodyguard follow her around when she went out
in the evenings. After Chicago, she stopped hitting the clubs unless Terrie and I went with her. Since I wasn’t looking for hookups, the security team didn’t bother me, but I think the situation put a damper on Myra’s enjoyment.
It did get better after Dave showed up. At first I was irked that Jake sent Dave without consulting me, but once I settled down, I was glad he did it. With Dave organizing things, the security personnel seemed to fade into the background instead of being at my elbow every time I turned around.
By the time we hit Los Angeles, I was tired. I just wanted the tour to be over so I could go home and be with Jake. It helped that he flew in the afternoon after we did.
Other than my time in the recording studio earlier that year, I hadn’t been in Los Angeles since I was twelve years old. Jake laughed when I told him that.
“We might have been here at the same time,” he said.
“I’m glad we didn’t meet then,” I answered. “I had enough problems dragging you into my bed without memories of me as a little girl.”
I wanted to go to Disneyland, but everyone talked me out of it. Terrie looked up the attendance figures online. The day before, the population of Disneyland was almost as large as the whole city of Greeley.
“Do you really want to go there and stand in line all day?” she asked.
We did go to the Getty Museum, and out to Catalina Island. And I went shopping with Myra and Terrie on Rodeo Drive. Jake didn’t go on that trip with us.
The Hollywood Bowl is a natural amphitheater, though greatly enhanced with an acoustic shell around the stage and a world-class sound system. Tim planned to record the whole show and try to sell it to public television. It was definitely the largest venue I had ever played, with a seating capacity of almost eighteen thousand, and the show sold out.
We started with the twelve songs off my current album, then launched into Dance All Night and the songs we planned to record for the next album. After two months playing together, the band was tight, and the huge audience fed us so much energy. We were excited and gave a solid performance that had the place rocking. At the end, we were still riding such an adrenaline high that we did five encores.
We flew back to Colorado the following day. It was two months before the country tour with Jared’s band, and I told Myra that I didn’t want any interviews, appearances, or anything else. I just wanted to go back to playing at the Roadhouse and sleeping with Jake every night.
That night, after a long shower together, we fell into bed and just held each other. I thought about the time I spent on the road and then coming back to the hominess of being in Greeley. I suddenly realized that the storybook dream I had been living for the past year was my reality. I couldn’t have been happier.
~~~
Chapter 27
Jake
While Cecily was on tour, I kept her up to date on the progress of the recording studio. I couldn’t claim much in the way of credit. Jared had never used his degree, but having a structural engineer oversee the construction was a blessing. Since the engineer was also a musician who planned to use the studio, I didn’t worry about whether things were done correctly.
The last of the equipment and electronics were installed the week before Cecily’s final performance in Hollywood. The morning after we arrived home, Jared and I took her out to inspect the studio. The look of delighted wonder that filled her face when Jared turned on the lights caused both of us to smile like a couple of fools. She and Jared spent that entire day recording songs and playing with the equipment.
Myra rented an apartment in Denver, but came up to Greeley a couple of days a week to work with Cecily. Terrie had gone back to San Francisco, but was making plans to move to Colorado. Marcus set up an audition for her with the Colorado Symphony in Denver, and she won a position as third-chair violinist. The rest of the band scattered, but all of them signed up to play on Cecily’s next album.
My father had expanded the old ranch house built by my grandfather. The upstairs had six bedrooms and four baths, so we had plenty of room for Myra and Terrie when they came to visit. Cecily told me that she’d never had girlfriends before, and she still wasn’t sure how to act with them. I thought it was rather odd that she kept asking me for advice. I knew as much as most men do about women and relationships between women. Practically nothing.
It was so good to have her home. I wanted to touch her all the time. The house came alive when she was in it. I felt like one of the dogs. They followed her everywhere, and so did I.
One Saturday morning, Cecily woke me up wanting to make love and was rather insistent about it. Of course, I did my best not to disappoint her.
“Jake,” she said afterward, “I was talking to Jeri at the bar last night, and she offered to take Myra and Terrie and me for a drive up to Granby tomorrow. Sort of a girls’ day out. Would you mind? It would give you a quiet day instead of having a houseful of gossipy women.”
“No, I don’t mind,” I said, smiling and hugging her close. “It should be a beautiful drive. I’m glad you’re making friends now,” I said. “I know Greeley isn’t very exciting, and I work all the time.”
“I like Greeley,” Cecily said. “I missed you when I was on tour, but I missed Barney and Mari and Maggie, too. I love this house, and I like the people at the bar. I wish my mother were more like Kathy. And this winter, when I get through with the tour, I’d like to spend a bit more time in Denver. We can go to the symphony, see some operas and ballets. Maybe go out to dinner and go dancing. Wouldn’t you like that?”
“Yes, I would like that.” I kissed her, and then she took me in her hand, then her mouth, and escalated things. We didn’t do much talking after that until we got up to shower and go meet Myra and Terrie for lunch.
After lunch, Cecily announced that she was taking her friends shopping.
“If you’re going to hang out in Greeley, you need to dress properly,” she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “There will be some hot cowboys here tonight, and you want to dress to impress, right?”
When they came back around five o’clock, Myra and Terrie wore tight, form-fitting western shirts, boot-cut jeans and cowboy boots. And hats. Their jeans looked as though they were painted on. I had to admit they looked really good.
Cecily played through the dinner hours, and we waited for her before ordering our own dinner. After she finished her last set, she thanked the audience, as she usually did, then made an announcement.
“A couple of my closest friends are here tonight. Now, I know some of you boys know how to dance without murdering a girl’s feet. They’re both single, so don’t be shy about showing them a good time. I’ve told them that Colorado cowboys are the friendliest men in the world, so don’t make a liar out of me. Terrie, Myra, stand up so that they know who you are.”
The girls looked both pleased and distinctly embarrassed.
“Come on, stand up. Let everyone see your pretty faces,” Cecily insisted.
Her friends stood and waved at everyone.
“There ya go,” Cecily crowed. “Treat them as though you remember the manners your mamas tried to teach you, okay? They both have big mean brothers.”
The crowd laughed.
She walked over to the bar as Jared and the band took the stage.
“You can be so shy and demure sometimes,” I said, shaking my head as I handed her a glass of wine.
“I am,” she said, “except when I get on stage. You want everyone to have a good time, don’t you?”
I laughed. “You just embarrassed the hell out of your friends.”
“Only a little bit. They’d be a lot more embarrassed if they sat there all night and no one asked them to dance. I’m starving. Are we going to have dinner now?”
~~~
Chapter 28
Cecily
The week before Labor Day, Jake was in town running around trying to get everything ready for the big bash we were throwing at the bar. Jared and I were leaving for our country tour of the S
outh the following week, and we talked Jake into throwing a party.
Besides me and Prairie Lightning, Jared’s band, we had three more fairly big name acts coming in. The alfalfa field beyond the parking lot had been mowed, and we set up a large bandstand in the field. Jared and the band dug a pit large enough to roast a whole cow on a spit. We had a semi-truck full of kegs of beer parked behind the bar. Dave Thomas promoted it all over Northeastern Colorado, and sold five thousand tickets. We had no idea what the walk-up traffic would be the day of the event.
I stayed home to clean house. Terrie and Myra were driving up from Denver, and Jake’s Aunt Tilly was coming in with her family from out around Fort Morgan. I hadn’t met any of Jake and Jared’s relatives, so I was a bit nervous. We would have a full house, and the plan was to put the kids, Tilly’s four grandchildren, out in the barn. I found myself wondering what the place would be like when Jake and I had kids. Knowing Jake and Jared, I could imagine that the ranch was a great place to grow up.
I heard Barney start to bark. Not his bark when Jake or Jared came home, but the way his bark sounded when strangers came to the house. I wandered over to the dining room window and peeped out. A large shiny new blue car came down the drive. It slowed, then crawled into the yard between the buildings. I didn’t recognize it. Most of the people we knew drove pickups.
I went back into the kitchen and grabbed a towel, drying my hands as I walked back into the dining room. The car came to a stop, and I tried to see through the windshield who might be coming to visit.
It was Alejandro.
I stood frozen for a moment, then ducked into the living room. I locked the front door and threw the deadbolt.
Oh, my dear God. What was I going to do? I felt a bit lightheaded and forced myself to take a deep breath. Jake had guns in the house, but they were all locked up, and I wouldn’t know what to do with a gun even if I had one. I felt for my knife, even though I knew it was hanging around my neck. Taking stock of what I had, I checked my phone in the pocket of the shift I was wearing. Other than the shift, the only clothes I had on were my panties. I was barefoot.
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