It rings twice and then he answers, “Summer, the most beautiful woman in existence. How goes thee?”
I laugh through my nose. “Better now since I’ve seen the girls.”
“Ah, news is good then. Did they make you smile yet?”
“Yes, and so did you with your cheesy opening line,” I say around a giggle and wriggle my toes in the rug again. Whenever I speak to Mason he always makes me feel giddy, nervous, like a schoolgirl again. I dread to think this feeling might end one day. “I need to talk to you.”
I hear his breath hitch before he finally asks, his voice gruff, “About?”
“I need you to be honest with me, because it’s so important that you are…”
“Sum—”
“No, let me finish because I want to tell you all of your options here.” I clear my throat. “Maya is helping me out financially, so I can go back to med school.”
“That’s great.”
“It really is, but it’s also because… they know I’m pregnant and Maya didn’t want me to make my decision based on the fact I have no money and I’m getting a divorce and I’m single. So here it is…” Deep breath and release. “I really think I want to have this baby.”
“Summer…”
“But I also think that you should have a say in this too. Because now I know I’m financially stable, I know that if I have to do this alone I will and I won’t hold anything against you. I don’t expect you to be there if you don’t want to be, I will permit you to walk away if this isn’t what you want but you’re okay with me continuing with the pregnancy.” I’m shaking. My body is running on pure adrenaline and fear right now. “I hope you don’t hate me.”
“This is… it’s difficult to take,” he admits and his honesty floors me, so I sit on the bed and wait for him to continue. “I thought we agreed we weren’t ready?”
“It was because I don’t have anything to give him, but Maya has bailed me out and…”
“The only reason you didn’t consider keeping the baby is because of money?”
“Yeah, that and I was concerned you’d believe I trapped you. Because I wouldn’t have been able to handle it alone. But now you don’t have to worry about that. I can be a single mother and you can keep being you.”
“The fuck, Summer?” he barks and I hear him shift. He sounds annoyed, not mad, but annoyed. “You really think I could just abandon my own kid? What kind of man do you think I am?”
“I think you’re a good man that would do the right thing, but I’m terrified if I push you into this you’ll resent me and the baby. I don’t want either of us to be resented because of my choices.”
“Your choices? We both had sex, this is what happens. If you’re having the baby, Summer, you can be sure as fuck I’m not going to be some shitty every-other-weekend dad that dumps his kid on everyone else, and you can be sure as fuck you will not be able to downgrade my position to that either. If you want to do this, you really want to do this, we’ve both got a lot of growing up to do because I’m not bringing my firstborn child into this shitshow.”
Well… I wasn’t expecting that.
He’s not done either. He mutters a curse under his breath and then continues, “You’re keeping it? I need to know.”
“I need to know what you want.”
“I told you that I’d support you whatever, Summer.”
My brows pull together, and I worry about wrinkles I don’t have yet but will get if I keep showing my emotions on my face like this. “That’s not an answer. You expect me to be the only one to put my cards on the table and that’s not fair. I’ve said what I want, now you do me the same honor.”
“Fine, do I want to be a dad right now? Fuck no. Am I mad at you that I’m gonna be? Fuck no. Do I want to be a dad eventually? Fuck yes. Timing is shit, Summer, but it is what it is. We’re gonna be parents, we gotta deal with this now and be parents. You’re keeping that kid; I’m going to love it. I’m going to raise it. I’m not going to give my rights away to another man.”
My fingers touch my lips as I suppress my tears. “I’m so sorry, Mason.”
“Don’t ever be sorry for giving me a kid, be sorry that you felt like you had to go to somebody else for help before me to decide what you wanted to do.”
I inhale a shuddering breath. “I was so scared of your reaction.”
“Not good. You shouldn’t be fucking scared of me.”
“I hardly know you. I don’t want you to hate me or think the worst of me.”
He sighs gravely. “I feel the same way about you, it hurts thinking you’ve been lying to me since you told me you wanted the abortion.”
“I didn’t lie, I did want it, I still kind of do. I’m terrified. But you have no idea how badly I want to be a mother, not so much that I’d get pregnant on purpose of course.”
I can hear the smile in his voice. “Didn’t think that for a second, Sum.”
“So… we’re doing this? Really? You’re okay with that?”
“I’m leaving in a week. I’ve got to see you before then. Can you come back to the city? Stay at my place for a few days? Till we figure this shit out face to face?”
I smile and look down at my flat stomach. “Yeah, I could do that.”
“Good.
“Tonight?”
I laugh lightly. “No, I’m with the girls, it’ll be tomorrow. I’ll travel back with them.”
“It’s going to be a long night without you, boo,” he says, his voice back to normal, his flirtatious teasing back to full throttle. “I’d come to you right now but I’ve had a couple of beers.”
“Wish I could have beer.”
“Nine months, baby, that’s all, and your body will be your own again.”
“I’m terrified.”
He chuckles and it sounds so deep and seductive. “Of me or the kid?”
“Both. I don’t know either of you yet. What if you both suck?”
His chuckle becomes a deep, loud, sexy laugh. His laugh is perfect. “Only thing I’ll suck on is your tit when I’m buried inside of you, Summer. I’ll excel at everything else, you’ll see.”
I hesitate, one because I’m not horny, and two because I think he’s gotten ahead of himself.
“We’ll talk about it all tomorrow, Mase. I need to get back to the girls.”
“Told you they were cool.”
I lick my lips and smile so brightly my cheeks ache. “Yeah, you did. You were so right.”
“Goodnight, Summer.”
“Goodnight.”
The line goes dead, and I can’t decide if I want to squeal with glee or not. I am so happy right now it hurts.
I go down to the hotel bar, it’s surprisingly busy. The girls are sitting by the bar with cocktails in hand. I really want one but I’m not allowed.
When Loryn sees me her face lights up, she’s so pretty, and sweet. Lucas couldn’t have chosen better.
Maya turns on her stool and waves me over, Marie looks next, her eyes lazy and tired. Her phone is in her hand. She never puts that thing down.
I squeeze around people carefully before coming to a stop at their table.
They look at me expectantly.
“I’m going to be a mom.”
Loryn screams, startling basically everyone. But I’m surprised when Marie is the first to hug me, something she does rarely. Maya joins in and soon we’re just a bundle of limbs with heads poking out of the top.
“What did he say?”
“Tell me everything!”
“Was he happy?”
I pull myself up onto my own stool and swing my legs. “He took it better than I could have expected. He wants to be hands-on and I’m trying not to think of every other man who has said that to a woman and lied because I’m already freaking out.” I look at the bar. “Do they do mocktails? Because I need to pretend that I’m drinking at the very least.”
Maya waves her hand at the bar staff. A young, attractive, Hispanic-looking man immediately rushes to our
end of the bar.
“Of course she made friends with the most attractive guy here,” I mutter around a laugh and Loryn giggles with me as Marie just eyes the guy. “Dude, poke those beacons back in your head or I’m telling Jacob.”
She wags her brows at me. “This ass has nothing on my Jacob.”
Maya swings back around to the table. “James is better.”
“Nope, it is definitely Lucas.”
I shake my head. “I’m the sexiest.”
Marie laughs and flicks my ear. “That you are. Mason sure seems to think so.”
“Does he talk about me often?”
“Only every chance he gets.”
I grin. If she’s lying, I don’t even care. I feel so much better now.
The girls and I spent the better part of last night like we did in college, except we have Loryn instead of Jessica now. I prefer Loryn. We did face masks, painted my nails because they all had manicures, talked boys, well… men, and drank hot chocolate while music played softly in the background.
The girls all think Mason and I should not try for a relationship until we figure things out and I agree to some extent. We hardly know each other, and co-parenting is going to be hard enough without bringing the mess of a new relationship into it, especially while I navigate my divorce, which Maya has told me she’ll help me do. Considering she’s done it herself before.
She put me in touch with her divorce lawyer this morning while on our way back to the city, after bidding my parents farewell and handing in my notice at the care home. They were surprisingly okay with me leaving, especially when they found out I was pregnant. They still have a lot of willing applicants lined up so I won’t be hard to replace. As for my parents, I’ll be seeing them again in a few days.
The girls are going to help me look for a place and Maya, true to her word, set up an account for me and is helping me out for the foreseeable future.
I’m lucky I have somebody willing to do that for me. Most women in my position don’t.
I just hope she knows how grateful I am.
As I’m pulling up outside of Mason’s house, with Marie as the driver, my phone rings. It’s Chris. This will be the fourth time he’s called since yesterday but he hasn’t texted or left a voicemail so it can’t be urgent. I will speak to him eventually, but right now I’ve got Mason to deal with. When I get my own shit dealt with then I’ll speak to Chris.
It’s shocking thinking six weeks ago I’d have done anything to hear his voice and now I’m doing everything to avoid it. I doubt it can be anything good, perhaps he’s seeing somebody now and wants to give me a heads-up?
It makes my chest burn with envy I’m not permitted to feel.
What a clusterfuck of a situation I have woven. I can’t imagine how he’s going to feel when he finds out I’m already pregnant with another man’s baby.
Another reason I’m avoiding him.
“Good luck,” Marie singsongs, patting my hand that’s gripping my phone on my lap.
“Thanks,” I reply meekly and climb out of the car.
I imagine myself heavily pregnant and trying to do this exact same thing in a few months. It’s the first time I’ve allowed myself to consider it and the thought brings so much relief.
I touch my belly and smile down at my hand. “You’re gonna get me all fat, little bean.”
The door opens before my foot hits the first step leading to it and Mason steps out. He waves to Marie who hasn’t gotten out of the car and then graces me with a smile so easygoing and warm my nerves melt away.
“My love,” he cries dramatically, his accent a forced British, and bounds down two steps to catch me in his arms. I laugh as he lifts me and swings me around. “It has been too long.”
“Stop,” I reply, giggling, and he drops me to my feet. “You’re crazy.”
“Crazy about you, darling, please allow me the courtesy of escorting you inside.”
I take his offered arm, gently squeezing his bicep with my other arm.
“Don’t bother helping me,” Marie barks but she’s laughing too.
“Oh my goodness.” Mason tuts and flaps his hand at her, sounding theatrical now. “Where are my manners?”
“I’ve got it,” I say, skipping to my friend who has my suitcase. I suddenly feel giddy, I have a feeling it’s got something to do with his very warm welcome.
“Not a chance in hell,” Mason reaches around me and grabs the bag, then in an epic display of more drama he pretends it’s heavier than a boulder.
“He is such a dork,” Marie mutters and slams the trunk shut.
I watch him go, still feigning weakness because my bag really isn’t all that heavy.
He’s so gorgeous. I admire the width of his shoulders and biceps. His hips are narrow. His ass is just perfection, round and perfect.
I thought perfect twice. Ugh.
It really is though, and I blush in remembrance of how it looks when he’s lying on his front, naked from head to toe. I can’t believe I have grabbed it with my hands while he’s thrusted into me.
“Good luck,” Marie adds as she pats me on the head, rounds her car, and climbs in.
“Come on, milady, you’re letting the hot air in.”
It is a rather warm day today, which is nice because it has been a bit drab these past couple of weeks. Considering it’s supposed to be the beginning of summer; we’re not having much of one.
Not until today anyway.
I follow him up the stairs and quickly close the door behind me. Mason, or Marie even, was lucky to find this place for the price she did so close to the bridge that leads to Manhattan. It’s a townhouse that was split into two, but both of the doors lead directly outside so the two apartments aren’t linked at all. It has two bedrooms and a small back yard, but the front steps lead directly to the sidewalk and a parking area that is reserved for residents. It’s not a noisy neighborhood either but it’s also not one of the safest. I’d much rather live in Manhattan but I don’t have nine million in the bank to afford a place half this size.
“I’ll just put your stuff in here,” he calls and I watch him walk into his bedroom.
“Umm, Mason?” I look at Marie’s old room across the hall. The place is a bit backwards. You walk in and there’s a bedroom on the left, a bedroom a little further on the right past a closet, the living area is open plan but the kitchen and dining area are to the right, level with Marie’s old room. The bathroom is just after Mason’s room on the left.
It’s a cute apartment. I’ve always thought so. You could fit this entire place into Maya’s living area in her dad’s house though.
“Yeeees?” he asks, raising a perfect dark blond brow.
“Shouldn’t I be in the spare room?”
His smile slowly fades but his tone of voice remains the same. “Whyyy?”
“I just… never mind.”
He drops the suitcase with a thud and closes the bedroom door behind him. “It’s not the tidiest, I’ve been a bit lazy as of late.”
I look around the sparse furniture when he leads me into the den. It’s all of Marie’s old furniture but she took most of her trinkets and pictures with her when she left.
“Mason, it’s fine.” I pat his bicep reassuringly and resist the urge to squeeze it and soak my panties.
I’m surprised to see him looking embarrassed as he takes it all in himself. “It’s not much of a home.”
“You hardly spend any time here,” I point out and he nods slowly.
Lancelot struts her furry gray butt out of the kitchen, licking her flat mouth and nose. She must have just finished eating. I smile when she immediately rubs herself up against my leg and bend to pick her up.
She’s the sweetest cat ever, still small because she’s only a few months old, but I’m not sure she’ll get any bigger. Her fur is so well groomed. It’s like gray cotton candy except it doesn’t make my fingers sticky.
“You’ve been combing her,” I say, smiling into her fur which tick
les my nose. She purrs her approval, it’s such a warming sound.
Mason shrugs. “She gets matted otherwise.”
I think I just fell in love with him. My heart is racing. Maybe I’m emotional because of the pregnancy but there’s just something about a man who loves his cat so much that he combs her every day that makes me want to breed with him. If I wasn’t pregnant with his baby already, I might be after this.
“Are you hungry? I haven’t been grocery shopping, I figured you’d want your own shit for your stay.” He takes Lancelot from my hands and rubs his nose against her fluffy head, then he places her on the rug and kicks a jingling cat toy across the floor. Lancelot goes scarpering after it.
“That’s great.”
“Did you want to go now, or later?”
“Whenever, I’m easy.”
He pinches my chin between his finger and thumb and turns my head enough for him to look into my eyes. His sparkling grays hold caution and confusion. “You okay?”
I nod frantically. “I’m just really nervous.”
“Nervous?” His hands come to my hips, he makes me feel so tiny. “About what? Me?”
“It’s a difficult situation.”
He smiles his usual easy smile and it puts me at ease. “Of course it is, but it’s decided now. We’re having a baby, let’s work on getting ready for that responsibility.”
“I wish I was as laid-back as you.”
He steps closer and pulls my hips to his, his hardness hits my mound. I shiver with need. “You could be laid-back, just say the word.”
My breath hitches as need unfurls in my belly. “Don’t tempt me. We should talk first.”
“What’s there to talk about?”
“Well.” I tuck my hair behind my ears and step away from him to gather myself. I find it so hard to concentrate around him when he’s as close as he is. “The girls suggested that maybe we should work on being friends and well… Loryn made a really good point today.” I begin to chew on my thumb as my adrenaline wears off and nerves fill the path it created.
A Little Bit of Guilt: Little Bits #5 Page 12
