by Laura Kaye
Chapter 7
It was all Slider could do to keep from banging his head against the nearest wall. Or at least his headboard. Because the boys’ pleadings about asking Cora to become their nanny wouldn’t stop poking at his brain. And because the idea was growing on him whether he wanted it to or not—they weren’t wrong; with Slider’s changing schedule and overnight shifts, he could use more regular help. Maybe even permanent help, especially if it benefited Cora.
But he’d fucking chickened out on asking her.
Beyond that, he wanted to bang his head against anything hard and immovable because something had been wrong with her at dinner. He would’ve put money on it. And he’d let her blow him off when he’d asked.
Now, he couldn’t sleep for worrying about it.
And why the hell was he worrying about it again?
Jesus.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw one of two images that made sure they wouldn’t stay closed: sharing a bed with Cora and catching her blatantly checking out his body, and the way her skin had gone ashen in the middle of dinner.
As appealing as that first memory was, it was the second one he couldn’t stop replaying as he lay in the darkness of his room. Cora was many things. Funny. Sarcastic. A good caregiver. A straight talker. And not at all a pushover. That morning she’d walked out of his house, she hadn’t hesitated to agree he’d been a dick or to tell him not to do it again. He respected the hell out of that, too.
But he’d never seen Cora scared and never once thought of her as fragile. And whatever had happened to her at dinner made her appear both. It hadn’t lasted long, but he knew what he’d seen.
What the hell could have caused it?
And, as if all that wasn’t enough to be pinging around in his brain at zero-dark-thirty, knowing that Haven’s moving in with Dare would leave Cora to live alone at the clubhouse, with all its parties and the drinking and hooking up that often happened at them, was not sitting right in Slider’s gut.
Question was: What was he going to do about it?
He was still asking himself that question twenty-four hours later when his shift ended in the wee hours of Sunday morning. His boss had let him cut out a little early because it’d been absolutely dead, and he’d arrived home a little after five, the house utterly quiet.
But it wasn’t dark. Golden light spilled out from the family room, illuminating the hallway and just spilling into the darkness at the front of the house.
Why was Cora up at this hour?
He made his way to the family room. “Hey, Cora, I’m home early,” he called out so he didn’t scare her. But when he peeked into the room, he found her sound asleep. She lay facing the back of the couch, her knees drawn up, her body in a tight little ball. The blanket had slipped to the floor, leaving her arms and legs bare around the little white tank top and pale blue men’s boxers she wore.
Damn, there was just no denying how pretty she was. Annnd now it was time to get out of there.
Quietly, he retrieved the blanket and bent to lower it over her again.
She jerked, her head turning to peer over her shoulder. A scream ripped out of her.
Heart hammering in his chest, Slider reared back so hard he nearly went ass over head over the coffee table. “Jesus, I’m sorry. It’s just me, Cora. It’s just me,” he managed when he caught himself.
She scrambled into the corner of the couch, her eyes skittering back and forth, her whole body visibly shaking, as if she was terrified of her unfamiliar surroundings. A little cry of anguish spilled from her throat.
He held up his hands, his mind an absolute storm of confusion. “Hey. Cora. It’s okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
A tear spilled from one of her bright green eyes. Just a single, fat, slow-rolling tear. She fisted it away and unleashed a shaky breath. “Sorry. I didn’t mean—” She shook her head and hugged the pillow tight, like maybe it was the only thing holding her together.
“Why are you apologizing?” he asked, something uncomfortable stirring in his gut. Because this seemed out of proportion for having been scared awake. “You did nothing wrong.”
Still trembling, she gave an awkward little shrug as the fight drained out of her posture. “I . . . I don’t kn-know.” Her breathing hitched.
“Cora—”
Her bottom lip shook. Another fast head shake. “Please.”
Still standing across the room, he frowned. “Please what?”
She peered up at him with those green eyes so glassy with unshed tears, and it nearly broke his long-dead heart.
“Cora, what’s wrong?” Cautiously, he stepped around the opposite side of the coffee table and gestured. “Would it be okay if I sit?”
She managed an eye roll. “It’s your couch.”
He eased himself down like it was the sofa that was fragile, and then he looked at her again.
Little footsteps pattered down the hall. “Cora?” came Ben’s sleepy voice from just outside the room.
Fast swipes at her eyes. “Aw, hi, Bean. You can come in.”
“I heard a noise. Did you scream?” Feet scuffing the floor, Ben came in wearing a pair of Spider-Man pajamas, bear in his hand. “Oh, hi Dad.” He sat between them, then peered back and forth like he was at a tennis match. “What happened?”
Cora gave a watery smile, but as Slider watched, she was already buttoning herself back up. “Nothing. Just a bad dream.”
“Oh,” Ben said, holding out his stuffed animal. “You should take Blue Bear, then. He’ll make you feel better.”
Cora took the bear and hugged it to her chest. And then she leaned against the kid. “You’re the sweetest.”
He sighed. “I know.”
Slider watched the two of them together for a long moment, and damn if it didn’t unleash an unexpected warmth inside his chest. Odd for a man who’d felt cold to his very core for so long. “It’s still nighttime, Benji. Go get some more sleep,” Slider said. “It’s gonna take a lot of energy to eat all those pancakes in the morning.”
“Okay,” he said, his ready willingness proof that he was still tired. He gave them both hugs and kisses and then was gone again, leaving a stilted awkwardness in his wake.
“I’m sorry I freaked out,” Cora finally said, looking down at Blue Bear like it was suddenly fascinating.
Slider drew one leg up on the couch, turning toward her and coming a little closer. “Look at me,” he said, his gaze running over her pretty blond waves. Out of nowhere, the urge hit him—hit him hard—to slide his fingers into her hair, haul her close, maybe even into his lap, and . . . Jesus, the universe of things he wanted after that was suddenly, surprisingly, and dizzyingly infinite. But he held himself still, because where the hell had that come from? And because, just then, his needs weren’t what was important. Finally, Cora looked up. “You’d knocked the blanket off, and I was afraid you’d be cold, but I scared you awake. Nothing to apologize for, Cora. Okay?”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“You believing me or just telling me what you think I want to hear?” He arched a brow.
She gave a little smirk that probably wasn’t supposed to come off as sexy but did. “Hello, Talkative Slider, nice to meet you.”
Now he was the one smirking. “Hello, Humor as a Diversionary Tactic Cora. Pleasure’s all mine.”
She sighed. “Well, damn. I believe you, okay?”
He gave a single nod. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“It was just a nightmare. I’m fine. Just feeling like a giant idiot,” she said, the self-deprecation another of the defense tactics he’d noted in all the time they’d spent together.
He wasn’t buying the nightmare line, not at all. And he wanted to push. Like, really fucking wanted to push. Because his gut demanded there was way more to it. But Slider didn’t know this woman that well, and their relationship had almost never veered into the personal. He’d been convinced he didn’t want it to, either.
; But now, God help him, now he was thinking maybe he did want it to.
He wanted to know what Sam knew about her past. He wanted to return some of the amazing care this woman had shown his boys—and him—all these months. And if his protective hackles hadn’t been up over her living alone at the clubhouse, they were fucking up now over the gut-deep belief that there was a reason his waking her had scared her so bad.
Women who’d had an easy go at life didn’t end up in the Ravens’ protective custody, after all.
All of which had Slider deciding that Sam and Ben’s idea wasn’t so crazy, even though that meant he was taking parenting advice from his ten- and six-year-olds. Honestly, he didn’t think they could do much worse than he’d done these past couple years, and though there was humor in that somewhere, it also left him feeling like it was well past time to fucking step it up.
So he silenced his head and boxed up his bruised heart and let his gut lead this. “I’d like to ask you something, although I’m aware that five o’clock in the morning isn’t really the best time.”
There was a bit of wariness in her gaze, not that he blamed her, but still she nodded. “What is it?”
Slider took a deep breath, then let all kinds of words he’d been stuffing down just fly. “Cora, it’s quite possible you’re the best thing that’s happened to my family in a long time. And since, to be frank, I’m not the father I once was, I could use your help. Even more of your help, I guess. Because you’re amazing with the boys. A natural. And they love having you here.” He looked at her.
Green eyes wide, her mouth dropped open in surprise. “Okay. Wow,” she whispered. “That’s really kind of you to say. But . . . what does that mean, exactly?”
Jesus. He was an idiot. “Right.” He chuckled. “I guess it would help if I actually asked the question. Would you consider moving in here and working for us as a full-time nanny?”
Maybe it was because it was still the middle of the night. Or maybe it was because the remnants of a flashback-induced panic attack were still circulating through her blood. Or maybe it was because Slider had opened up to her in a way he never had before. But Cora could barely believe what she’d just heard.
“Excuse me?” she managed, her pulse tripping into a sprint.
“Oh, hell. You hate the idea.” Slider raked at his hair. “Damnit. Forget I said anything. We’ll just keep things how they are, which is fine. No, it’s great. Really.” He rose in a rush.
“Wait,” she said, standing, too, Blue Bear still in her hand. “I just . . . I’m not sure I . . . did you really just ask me to live here as your nanny?”
His gaze narrowed. “Uh, yeah?”
Cora blinked. Wow. Wow. “That’s . . .” Wow! “Oh, my God. I would love that,” she said. Hadn’t she just been thinking how much she would love a home like this? An actual real house to live in? The Ravens had been amazing letting her stay rent-free at the clubhouse all this time, but that wasn’t a viable long-term solution for her life, especially now that Haven was moving out. She’d never thought of being a nanny before, and maybe it wasn’t a permanent plan, either, but at least it was a job.
At least it was a start.
And now she had fun news of her own to share the next time she talked to Haven. So Cora didn’t need to think about it. “I’d be happy to accept, Slider.”
A slow smile crept up his face, and holy wow, it was the first actual smile she’d ever seen on him. Even with the beard, it made him look younger, it made those odd, pale eyes look livelier. “Yeah?”
She nodded when what she really wanted to do was break into a victory dance. “Yeah.” What would it be like to live with Slider? The man with the surprising smile. The man whose naked image lived in her head, whether she wanted it to or not. The man with whom she’d shared some sort of a moment in that hospital bed.
“Well, okay. Great. That’s . . .” He nodded. “The boys are going to be thrilled.”
Grinning, Cora hugged herself, then belatedly realized she was hugging a stuffed bear. They both chuckled. “I’m glad, because I’m definitely thrilled, too,” she said. And she really was. She’d always appreciated and enjoyed babysitting for them, but now it felt like a real opportunity.
“Good. Seems to me,” he said, peering down at the rumpled blanket on the couch, “first thing I need to do is make you an actual place to live around this place. A couch in the family room isn’t going to cut it. I’ll get on that right away.”
“Okay, that sounds great.” How ridiculous was it that the idea was so exciting? But having her own space to decorate and call home seemed like a little life victory, even if it was little. Still, she’d take it.
“So, would six hundred dollars a week plus room and board seem fair?” he asked. “And there’d be time off, of course. Paid vacation. I think the club is paying for your cell, and I’d take that over since you’d need it for the job. I looked into it a bit so I’d know all the rules people usually follow.”
Cora’s mouth dropped open and her belly went all jiggly, like she was on a roller coaster and had just crested the highest hill. With that kind of money, plus what she’d been saving with all the babysitting, she could afford some sort of car. And maybe, just maybe, even to take a class at the community college, too. Which made her realize there was something else she needed to ask about, if she was going to take on a full-time job. “So, before this, I’d been wanting to look into volunteering at the animal shelter. Would you be okay with me doing something like that as long as I was available for Sam and Ben’s care and took care of my other duties?”
Slider nodded. “Animals, huh?”
She gave a little shrug. “Unlike people, their love is unconditional, so yeah.”
He tilted his head, and nailed her with a stare that suddenly felt like he might be able to see into the very heart of her. “I don’t see why that would be a problem, Cora.”
Yesyesyes! “Then your offer sounds fair to me,” she said, all cool-like, even though on the inside, she was jumping up and down like a schoolgirl. When was the last time she was this excited about something? When was the last time something this good had happened to her?
And it was all because of Slider and his beautiful boys.
Slider held out his hand.
Slowly, Cora slid her hand into his. Nothing so cliché as a spark happened, but that didn’t stop a few butterflies from taking flight inside her stomach at the heat of his skin, the rough caress of his working-man’s calluses, or the firmness of his grip. It reminded her of the way he’d touched her face that night at the hospital, and suddenly longing roared through her—to feel those big, rough hands on her even more. Maybe even to feel those big, rough hands on her everywhere.
But, dude, this man was her boss. Her boss whom she lived with. Her boss who was also the dad to two young kids whom she was also going to live with. Her boss who’d admitted to being a wreck over the loss of his beloved wife just a few years before.
So. Well, damn. Given all that, there could be no boss’s big, rough hands involved. But, fine. Whatever. That didn’t diminish her excitement about this new chance one bit.
“Thanks, Slider,” she said, an idiotic grin finally breaking through, but she was too happy to resist.
He gave her a single nod, his suddenly intense gaze locked onto hers. “No, thank you, Cora. Welcome to the family.”
Chapter 8
Slider opened a door he hadn’t walked through in almost two years—the door to the master bedroom. The room he’d shared with Kim through twelve years of marriage. The room in which she’d spent the last days of her life.
Dust motes swirled in the sunlight pouring through the windows. Slider flicked on the ceiling light over the room, mostly empty except for a few dressers and nightstands. Their bed was long since gone, the frame of which he’d stored in the attic, having been replaced by a hospital-type bed during the final months of her illness. But the medical device store had taken that away, too, leaving the room with a f
orgotten, neglected feeling.
One he was here, at long last, to rectify. For Cora, but also for himself.
“Can we help?”
Slider turned to find Sam and Ben in the hallway, warily looking at him. They hadn’t entered this room in the past two years either, not that Slider had ever forbidden it. “You guys sure you’re okay with this?” he asked, sensitive to their feelings since this was where they’d spent time with their mom at the end.
“Yeah, Dad. Cora needs a place to stay, and it’s just sitting empty,” Sam said. The boys had been ecstatic when, over Sunday-morning pancakes, Slider and Cora had announced that she’d be moving in. So ecstatic that, when it was time to take her home, they’d argued that she shouldn’t go. But she’d asked if she could officially start her new gig with them the following week so that Haven wouldn’t be living alone at the clubhouse while Dare was away. And that worked just fine for Slider, since he needed time for this.
Ben nodded. “It’s just a room, Dad.” He’d been only four when Kim died, and Slider suspected his memories of the months before were murky at best. But that wariness was still present in Sam’s eyes, which meant the kid was, at least on some level, putting on a brave front.
“Okay, then. I’d appreciate your help.”
Three hours later, they’d dusted everything, washed the windows and mopped the hardwood floor, and retrieved the queen-sized bed frame from storage. They’d also cleaned out and scoured the adjoining bathroom, perfect for Cora to have a little privacy. Finally, they’d bagged up the clothes from the closet and drawers. Slider had been worried about doing the last in front of them, but the boys had been all business about it. All business about everything except the more personal things on top of Kim’s dresser.
“We should save those Disney figurines,” Sam said quietly. “Mom collected them.”
“Okay,” Slider said. “Let’s box them up and figure out where to put them.” Nodding, Sam grabbed a box and wrapped each figurine like it was priceless.
