Chloe smiled and gestured for him to come in. He was dressed for the day in his jeans and plaid shirt. His silver belt buckle caught my eye. “Did you get a new belt?”
“Nope. Dad found it. My mom gave me this for my birthday a long time ago. I wanted the biggest belt buckle in Montana. Funny how things look bigger when you’re ten. It’s pretty cool.”
John moved closer to the bed.
I wrapped my arms around my knees. “Are the others up yet?”
“Nope,” John answered, “and they went to bed before you.
Chloe brushed the hair away from her face. “That was nice of you to carry Maggie in last night. I’m glad you didn’t leave her outside.”
John picked up the binoculars, a slight frown etched into his expression. “What did I tell you about spying?”
A shadow crossed Chloe’s face. “Sorry, Dad. I just can’t help it. I know I’m not supposed to, but—” She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
I patted her knee.
John sat down beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Maybe I should just take the binoculars, so you’re not tempted.”
Worry flashed at the corners of her mouth. “Oh, I don’t know.”
“Spying isn’t a skill you’re going to need in the near future,” he said.
“I would make a good spy?” Chloe perked up.
John wrinkled his brow. “I’m thinking, no.”
“What if I promise not to use them for spying?” she asked.
John stared at me.
I made a face at him. “Not my department.” I wasn’t sure I wanted it to be my department and if I decided to have a relationship with him, Chloe would be more than my neighbor, more than just an eight-year-old friend. She would be my boyfriend’s daughter. My boyfriend’s daughter! My mind went berserk. I was too old to have a boyfriend. I studied John and Chloe as they discussed the binoculars and rules. Being on the outside suited me just fine. John squeezed Chloe tight. She wrinkled her nose and groaned.
Then he winked at me. “Maybe you two should get dressed. Maggie’s gonna get back up on a horse and we’re going to ride by the creek today. Maybe we’ll see some elk.”
“Are Walter and Harry and Judy gonna come, too?” Chloe asked.
“If they want, Walter can ride with me. I thought maybe you could handle an adventure outside the corral.”
Chloe beamed. “Really?”
“Yeah, but we’ll put a helmet on you,” John said.
John’s gaze met mine. His eyes pleaded for affirmation.
“Your dad knows best,” I said.
“Whoopee, this is gonna be great,” Chloe said.
I wasn’t sure if John’s energy originated from his daughter’s excitement for the day or from the fact that he thought that I was one of his girls. He referred to Chloe and me as his girls, and I relished how the words warmed me through.
Chapter 18
We rode single file along the riverbank, and Ashley and Harry led the way. Judy’s horse fell in line behind her son’s and I brought up the rear, the perfect position to watch John ride. He straddled Walter in the saddle in front of him. Chloe was sandwiched in the middle of the pack, her favorite place to be. I couldn’t imagine Chloe anywhere else.
“Walter, do you think you can help me take the reins?” John asked.
“Sure.”
John handed the reins to Walter then rested his hands on the horn, encasing Judy’s treasure.
“You’re doing just fine. Let Breeze do all the work, she knows the routine,” John said, patting Breeze’s neck. “Good girl.”
Walter glanced over at me. He held the reins with pride, one in each hand. His feet dangled at John’s knees, his knobby knees peeking through the holes of his blue jeans. I wasn’t the only teacher in the group. His patience tugged at my heart. There was something about a man holding a child that my senses couldn’t resist.
“Looks like we got ourselves a wrangler in training,” John said.
Chloe held on to the saddle horn then glanced over her shoulder. The sun sparkled across her cheeks. “How am I doing, Dad?”
“Looking good, darlin’,” John answered.
Ashley slowed Sweet Jaclyn’s stride and we all stopped behind her. She pointed up the hill. Pippin’s ears twitched at the sound of falling rocks. She danced sideways and I tensed up, sensing her angst. I knew the signs. I was the master.
“It’s all right, girl,” I said under my breath. “I know how you feel.”
Pippin peered back at me, her ears twitching. She stopped prancing and I figured if she was gonna go, she’d go, regardless of what I wanted to do.
Chloe leaned over her horse’s neck and peered up the hill.
“What’s up there?” I asked John. “’Cause Pippin doesn’t like it.”
“Hold steady. She’ll be okay. There’s a moose up on the ridge.”
Peering through the dense pines, I couldn’t see the beast and really wished it would flee so Pippin would relax. While silently lecturing myself to remain calm, Pippin’s head jerked at the reins and she whinnied. She kicked her back legs out from behind her. I wrapped my left hand in her slick mane like a tether, praying like hell she wasn’t going to run.
“There it goes,” Chloe said.
Pippin reared up and I held steady, not giving way to her intentions.
Rocks trickled down the side of the hill in front of us. I glanced up, the moose leaping into the trees with a mighty bellow.
“That thing was huge.” Chloe’s eyes filled with panic when she saw Pippin bucking. “Whoa, Maggie.”
Pippin stumbled and then bolted toward the ranch. I
hugged her belly with my calves, struggling to pull back on the reins as she galloped full speed. “Whoa, girl. Settle down.” While I reasoned with a runaway horse, part of me wanted to hunker down and keep on going. Not sure if my instincts were correct, I let her settle down in her own time, and then guided her to a patch of bright purple forget-me-nots near the river where she sniffed the tall grass and chomped on a mouthful of sweet greens for comfort.
My hands shook as I squeezed my calves against her belly, trying to get my bearings. Relaxing back into my saddle, I let go of her mane. Pippin craned her neck to see me. I coaxed her into a trot then rode back to the others. Walter’s brown eyes stared at me in awe. As I eased up on Pippin, she transitioned into an easy gait.
Chloe’s jaw hung open. “Wow, that didn’t look like much fun.” Huckleberry’s nose touched Pippin’s as if she was comforting her. “Huckleberry didn’t even move.”
“I’m glad,” I said, stroking Pippin’s damp neck.
“And that’s why you have a helmet on,” John told Chloe.
“Maggie, you want my helmet?” she asked. “Wouldn’t want you to get another set of stitches like last summer.”
With a deep breath, I lowered my shoulders, releasing the strain. “Nice try,” I said. John glared at her.
“It was worth a try. Anything’s worth a try.”
“My girl’s got a point,” John said, conveying an all-knowing expression.
The sky tugged at the corners of my mouth, knowing he wasn’t talking about a helmet. Walter gave me a thumbs-up. His free-spirited attitude lightened my heart. Leaning over, I patted his knee as he and John circled around to get back in line as Ashley waited for the high sign that we were moving on.
“That was some good riding, neighbor lady. You okay?” John asked, letting Breeze fall in stride beside Peaches and me.
Judy’s stare caught my attention. She was picturing some storybook ending while sweat crept across my brow and dripped down my back. I felt like a wreck.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I patted Pippin’s neck. “We all get a little spooked from time-to-time.” I wasn’t sure if the pit in my stomach was caused by my own trepidation where John was concerned, or the fact that the wild ride scared the hell out of me. Maybe they were one in the same. “You’re a good girl.”
/> I wanted to believe that heavy sigh meant that the rest of our ride would be slow and easy.
“I thought I was going to have to come after you.” John swayed in stride with Breeze’s nonchalant stride.
Glancing over at him, his eyes conveyed a deeper concern than the one he’d exhibited in front of the kids. “I’m fine,” I said in my true Maggie fashion.
John winked. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. That was something. Dad would have been proud,” he said. “If Trout would’ve seen you in action, he’d be asking you to wrangle full time.”
“Not sure I’m up for that.” I kept my eye on a squawking crow overhead.
“Dad, look over there, in that dead tree on the other side of the river. Maybe it’s Frankie.” Chloe shaded her eyes.
“I was thinking the same thing,” I said, inspecting my white knuckles.
John trotted ahead to catch up with Ashley. Walter bounced up and down as he held on to the saddle horn, John’s arms securely held Walter in place. “Yee-ha,” he hollered as black curls bobbed up and down.
A twinge of envy sparked as I watched Chloe sway in stride with Huckleberry. Why couldn’t I switch gears that easily? If she could accept Montana, why couldn’t I? Her focus intent on the horizon made me think she could see something in the future that I couldn’t. “Hey girlie-girl, you doing okay?”
Happy creases formed at the corners of her eyes when she spoke. “I’m good. I love this little girl,” she said, rubbing Huckleberry’s neck. “Some of her black spots look purple. That’s why they call her Huckleberry. That’s what Grandpa said.”
“It’s a great name. I love huckleberries. Wish we had them back home.” I removed my right foot from the stirrup and stretched it out, hoping to alleviate the ache. “I think we’re almost to the place where your dad said we could put our feet in the water.”
Chloe smiled. “That sounds fun.” She perked up eagerly looking for the stream near the shady knoll as John looped back around, herding us like stray sheep. “What do you think Glad is doing today?” Chloe asked. “I miss her.”
“Me too.” I thought about her back home, which seemed to be another dimension of time compared to what we were experiencing here. “Maybe she’s knitting or driving around in her convertible with Bones.”
“I hope she’s having as much fun as we are.”
“Wouldn’t that be something to see her on a pretty pony like Huckleberry?”
Chloe giggled. “Yeah, that would be something.”
“How are my girls doing back here?” John said as he strode up beside us.
There was that phrase again. I was one of his girls. Trying to stifle the brash thoughts of living miles apart made my heart throb.
“Good, Dad. Are we stopping up there?” Chloe pointed not too far ahead.
“Yup. Justin brought us some lunch. You guys can wade in the water after you eat.”
“Woo-hoo,” Walter called out.
John dismounted Breeze. “Hold on for a second, cowboy,” he said to Walter as he tied Breeze to a low hanging branch, then he held out his arms and Walter slid out of the saddle as John guided his feet to the ground. “Look up,” he said.
Walter tilted his head back before John unbuckled his helmet. He shook his hair free while galloping to meet his mom.
“Whoa, my legs are wobbly.” Chloe goofed around, pretending to be a ragdoll after John helped her down, too.
John guided Pippin into the shade. Pippin’s eyes shimmered in the sun that found its way through the dense greenery. I thought about what we must have looked like running away from that moose. I was no different than Pippin. It was easier to flee than face my demons. How did I ever let myself get like that? Protecting myself didn’t seem to come without unforeseen consequences.
“You ready?” John held out his hand to help me.
“I think I got it.” I hoisted my butt high enough to swing my right leg over Pippin’s hindquarters. Leaning my belly against her saddle, I slid down until the toes of my boots met the ground. John was there to steady me. “I think my knee is asleep.” I shook my right leg then rubbed my kneecap.
Ashley helped Judy while Harry insisted on getting down and tying his horse up by himself.
John gave me a nod. “He sure is hellbent on being a man while he’s here,” he whispered.
“I’m sure boys all go through that when there’s a pretty girl around. Bradley was no different.”
“Suppose you’re right about that,” John said. “Once we get our sights set on something with hips and a pretty smile, it’s hard to thwart our motives.”
“Did you say, thwart?” I asked. “That doesn’t sound like cowboy lingo to me.”
John cleared his throat.
What he didn’t know was that I was totally turned on by his cowboy appearance and extensive vocabulary. Every part of me wanted him.
“What? It’s a word,” he said.
I poked him in the bicep. “I know. It just sounds funny, that’s all.”
We inspected the blanket and picnic basket that Harry was ogling over like he hadn’t eaten in days.
Chloe skipped up to John and grabbed his hand. “Can I eat on the rock by the river, over there?”
“Don’t see why not. Make sure your trash gets back in the basket.”
“Come on, we can eat over there,” she said to Harry and Walter.
Judy helped the kids organize their lunches while I meandered to the edge of the stream. Bending down, I splashed cold water on my cheeks. Judy reminded Harry and Walter about using their manners and no bickering. Harry forced a smile showing all his teeth.
“Guess he’s not over that whole Ashley thing yet,” Judy said, patting my shoulder.
She handed me a sandwich and I sat down, hoping the sound of the river would drown the day’s drama. “How sore are you?”
Judy rubbed her knees. “My butt hurts and my legs feel like I’ve run a marathon, and we all know that didn’t happen. How come you’re not complaining? How do you do it?”
“I’m not that sore now, but we’ll see tomorrow after Pippin’s little episode back there. Boy, can she run fast.” I inspected my lunch. “Yum, more peanut butter and huckleberry jam.”
“Sorry, I guess I should’ve made something more mature for the grown-ups.” Judy unwrapped her sandwich and took a big bite. “So Chloe says she saw her dad carrying you in last night.”
John sauntered over to the rock to check on the charges.
“I see that look in your eye. What gives?” Judy asked with a mouthful.
The concern at the corner of her mouth melted my insides.
“Just let it go, Maggie. This is your journey and no one else’s. I know you. Worrying is going to kill you before some runaway horse or wrangler.”
Judy squeezed my hand, but didn’t let go.
“Fine.” The well of tears burned behind my eyes when Judy touched my hand. “What if it doesn’t work? I don’t know if my heart can survive that. What if I decide to be part of this world and it falls apart? What would I have then?”
“Is that what you’re worried about? You’ll have everything you had before. For Pete’s sake girl, don’t throw another log on the fire.”
“But I don’t want it to hurt.” My lip quivered and I couldn’t wrap my head around why I was unraveling now.
“It doesn’t have to and if you and John decide to part ways, you’ll know that you fought for what you wanted.”
“That’s the problem. What I want and what I can have are two separate entities.”
“You listen to me, Maggie Abernathy.” Judy scooted closer. “You can have it all. You can be the fairy princess. You survived Beckett. You kicked cancer’s ass. You deserve it.”
Something snapped inside. “I’m not sure I want to be a princess, but I would like to kiss the prince. Every night, all night.”
“Now we’re talking.”
Avoiding Judy’s stare, I checked to see where Ashley was. My in
sides tensed with predicament, my heart torn between two worlds, my head spinning with scenarios.
“You’ll figure it out. You’re pretty resourceful. If you can handle Pippin, not to mention all those second graders year-after-year, you can handle this. I hate to be trite, but where there’s a will there’s a way. Fight.”
I glanced over to the kids. Chloe had her boots off. One sock went flying above her head and she tugged at the other one as she rested her foot over the opposite leg. Harry meandered along the riverbank tossing stones into the water. Walter followed behind, his jabber muddled in the air. Something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Walter tipped toward the water.
“Oh, no,” I yelled.
Judy followed my stare. She jumped up and ran toward the squeal. I ran after her.
John stepped into the river and hauled Walter up by his collar. “He’s not going anywhere. We could walk across the river at this point and barely get our feet wet. Look how shallow it is.” John tried to ease the panic.
I watched the silent exchange between the boys. Walter surveyed the crowd for attention while Chloe stood close to me with her hand over her mouth.
“Are you okay?” John asked, kneeling beside the dripping munchkin.
Walter rolled his eyes. “It was my own fault,” he said with narrowed gaze and a dark flash in Harry’s direction. “I slipped and just fell in.” Walter took a deep breath. “I’m fine.”
Chapter 19
Chloe read Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing at the kitchen counter while I started dinner. Judy was coddling Walter somewhere and Harry had gone to the barn with John and Winston. Chloe put a tie-dye piece of cloth in her book to hold her place as she munched on crackers and cheese. “I’ve been thinking,” she said with bulging cheeks.
The sweet tang of barbeque sauce made my stomach growl as I licked my finger. Dinner wouldn’t come soon enough. The mountain altitude was making me ravenous. When Chloe didn’t continue, I glanced back to see if she was still there. She swallowed hard and rested her arms on the counter. Her eyes glowed with that expression students get when they really don’t want to tell me something, but have to because they’re being interrogated or they know it’s the right thing to do and they obviously fear the consequences, usually a rift in a friendship. Good Lord, what now? Moving the cutting board closer to her, I waited.
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