Winston stopped playing his guitar. “Better be, ’cause I’m not letting you go, short stuff. We need you around here.” He clicked his tongue at her and winked in her direction.
Chloe wiggled out of her dad’s arms and climbed into Winston’s lap. John took Winston’s guitar and set it in the chair beside him.
“Yeah, my family moved a lot when I was a kid. I went to four different elementary schools,” Judy told Chloe. “I got to meet lots of people that way.”
“Maybe, but you guys will be so far away.”
Judy glanced over at Winston. “Well, if it’s okay with your grandpa, I’d like to visit again. I bet Walter and Harry would like to come back, and maybe next time their dad can come.”
“Really?” A spark passed between Chloe and Judy.
“We can see each other through the computer. Maybe Maggie could come over and you could see us all at once. That would be fun.” Judy leaned back in her chair. Walter crawled into her lap and snuggled into her chest.
“You have some awful nice friends,” John said.
“But let’s not focus on that. We have a camp out to get to,” I said, trying to lighten the moment.
Walter wiggled out of his mom’s lap then sat next to Harry.
Chloe wrapped her arms around Winston’s neck then pressed her cheek against his. John’s eyes gleamed in the firelight as he watched the exchange between his dad and Chloe. Chloe was lucky to have two great men in her life. Chloe kissed his cheek. “Tent time,” she told him. “See you tomorrow, Grandpa.”
“See you tomorrow, squirt,” he said, swatting her bottom as she hopped off his lap.
“Come on, you guys.” Chloe gestured for Harry and Walter to follow her.
“First brush your teeth. I laid some sweatpants and a T-shirt out on your bed,” John said. “Grab a fleece from the mudroom on your way back.”
“All right,” Chloe said. “If I have to.”
Harry’s and Walter’s faces glowed in the dying firelight with anticipation. Their messy black curls danced in the sauntering breeze. I closed my jacket and crossed my arms over my chest as I watched the interaction around the fire. The ease of human kindness waltzed amongst us. And the fact that I’d be saying goodbye the day after tomorrow made the ache exponential.
Chapter 26
The kids giggled and their shadows wiggled across the tent walls. Chloe said goodnight and zipped up the fabric door.
Angst slithered through my veins and into my mind, knowing that John waited for me in the other tent. I rolled my eyes at myself for worrying and poked my head inside. He was on his sleeping bag in sweats and T-shirt with his hands behind his head.
“Come on in.”
I hunched over to fit in the door and held his gaze. “Where’d you find that?” I pointed to the pad under my sleeping bag.
“Dad had it tucked away.”
My skin tingled as John watched me get situated.
“Nice sleeping pants. Like the Michigan State sweatshirt. Nice touch,” John commented with a wink.
I fluffed my pillow. “Thanks, Bradley gave it to me a long time ago when he was a freshman. I wear it when I miss him.”
“I suppose when your kids grow up and move away, it’s hard. I think there just might be a part of me that’ll be happy for the solitude. Chloe can be a handful.”
“You wouldn’t miss her?” I crisscrossed my legs pretzel style and wondered what was in the cooler.
“Yeah, I’ll miss her, but it’s not like Brook is around to help out.”
“Yeah, at least I had Beckett.” I peeked into the cooler, my curiosity got the best of me, and then noticed John’s expression. “Sorry.”
“Brought a couple of beers for me and a piece of chocolate for you.”
John’s face brightened. “Thanks. And don’t be sorry. I don’t ever want anyone to feel sorry for me. It is what it is.” He crossed his ankles. “Besides, if Brook was here, I wouldn’t know you.”
“Guess you’re right. I was thinking about that earlier. If I’d stayed with Beckett, I wouldn’t know you either.”
“You’d probably know me, but just not like you do.” He cleared his throat. “This is going to sound selfish, but I’m glad Beckett’s not around.”
I smirked. “Wouldn’t be much of a marriage. That’s for sure.”
John and I smiled at each other when the kids’ voices ruptured into a burst of laughter.
“They sure do like each other,” I said, lying down on my back, mimicking John’s pose. A black lantern hung in the center of the tent.
“They’re not the only ones.”
“I know. But what are we going to do?” I asked. A multitude of possibilities lay dormant at the back of my mind. “I’d like to finish my career.”
“I know.”
“This long-distance thing seems crazy, not to mention that other thing you mentioned.” I closed my eyes and pictured myself traipsing back and forth with luggage as a credit card bill dangled in the background. I knew the long stints of absence would prove difficult, too.
“I can go back and forth, too,” he said. “And that other thing will work its way out in time.”
I turned on my side and propped my head up with my hand to see John’s face. “What about Chloe?”
“She doesn’t always have to tag along. We have plenty of hands here if that’s what you’re thinking.” John rolled over on his side to face me.
“What would we tell her?” I asked. “This seems so foreign to me. I don’t think I’m equipped to handle this.”
“The truth,” he answered. “People do it all the time. We have a good relationship with her. Don’t you think she would want us to be happy?”
“Yes,” I said.
“I hate to say this, but she has a better relationship with you than she has with Brook. I know that’s hard for you, but it’s true.”
John’s intense gaze settled my nerves. “Yeah, I never thought I’d be with anyone again, let alone a cowboy with a child.”
John moved the cooler and motioned for me to come closer as he put out his arm and lay back. I wiggled over and nestled in beside him.
“You worry too much.”
“I can’t help it. That’s how I roll.”
The chatter in the neighboring tent faded. I wondered how fast I could roll over to my side of the tent if one of the kids unzipped our tent door.
“I see that look in your eye. We’re not doing anything bad. You’re dressed. I’m dressed. We’re just talking,” he said. “You can go back over there if you want.”
I sat up then moved back over to my sleeping bag when I heard the zipper on Chloe’s tent, and then we waited for our visitor as feet shuffled outside the tent. John put his finger over his lip and reached up to turn off the lantern. Wisps of flashlights flickered about. Sitting still, I watched the nonsensical paths of light as they circled our tent. It suddenly went dark and the zipper to their tent echoed into the night.
John switched on his flashlight. His eyes glowed in the dark.
“What are they doing?” I whispered.
He slipped on his boots, unzipped our tent, and went to investigate.
I snuggled in my sleeping bag. We could go back and forth, or at least try. I was beginning to believe that voice inside my head. I wanted to trust myself with all my heart. I wasn’t sure I’d even done that before.
Walter’s giggle drifted into the tent as John spoke to Chloe.
“What are you guys doing?” he asked her.
“We were just checking things out. We thought we heard a something.”
“All the more reason to stay in the tent,” he told her. “Bobcat, skunk.”
“Okay,” she said.
“I told you,” Harry said. “Bear.” He growled.
I grinned at his animated tone.
“What are you and Maggie doing?” she asked.
“We’re just talking,” he told her. “Listening to you knuckleheads.”
> “Hey,” Walter chimed in, “I’m not sure I’ve ever heard that word before, but it doesn’t sound like a compliment.”
“It’s not,” Harry informed him. “Can we just get back to the ghost story now?”
I raised my eyebrows, wondering what kind of ghost story they were telling.
“If you have to get up,” John said, “use the walkie-talkie I gave you. Harry knows how to use it if you don’t. I’ll check things out.”
“Okay, Dad. Tell Maggie I said goodnight.”
I smiled and waited for John to return. He zipped up the tent, took off his boots, and plopped back down on his sleeping bag. “Uh, yeah, I’ll miss her, but—” John rolled his eyes. “She said goodnight.”
“I know, I heard.”
Situating himself, John set his walkie-talkie on the cooler. A ghostly howl made by a youngster penetrated the tent walls. John held the flashlight beneath his chin and made silly faces.
“We’re not getting any shuteye tonight,” I whispered with a huff.
“Would that be so bad?”
One corner of my mouth went up. “I really like my sleep.”
“Me, too, but you’re leaving soon.”
A hint of sadness rimmed his late night eyes. The intermittent sounds of crickets rubbing their legs together sounded in the distance. “When are you coming back to Michigan?”
“I’m not sure of the exact date, but it’ll be the week after next sometime.”
“If you need something, let me know. I’ll be around.”
“I do need something.”
I propped my head up to see him better. “What?”
“I need you in Montana, with us.”
I scooted off my sleeping bag and over to his. I rested my hand on the side of his face. His temple twitched like it usually did when he was unsettled. I kissed his forehead. “I know.” He nuzzled me closer and I rested my head on his chest. “How could I not?”
“I’m glad. Now maybe I’ll be able to get some shuteye,” John said. “I’ve been worrying about this since you got here. I was preparing to say goodbye, forever.”
I reached up, touched his chin, and then pushed myself up from his strong chest. “I made a promise to Chloe.”
“You’re not saying we can try this just because of her, are you?” A shadow crossed his eyes.
“No. This is me fighting harder, even if it doesn’t seem like it.”
John ran his fingers down my cheek and across my neck. “What did you promise?”
“I promised her that no matter what happened when you moved, we’d keep in touch. It wasn’t just for her, you know.”
John ran his fingers over my lips. “When you guys moved in,” I said, playing with his shirt, “I thought she was going to drive me batty and you, I thought you were just some guy with an attitude.”
“Thanks,” he said. “That’s very nice.”
“Oh, get over yourself,” I said, swatting him. “Cancer really sucked, my mom was driving me crazy, and Chloe lurked around with you in tow. And I just wanted to be by myself.”
John rested his hand on the small of my back, his warm touch under my sweatshirt against my bare skin. “Do you want to be by yourself, Maggie? If you do, I’ll understand. You can keep your promise to Chloe. I won’t stand in your way.”
“No, I want to be with both of you. I think I’ve been standing in my own way for long enough.” I inched closer, knowing that somehow in the invisible rhythm of time we’d grown together. I kissed his lips as he held my face. The walkie-talkie static broke the moment, and then Chloe’s voice echoed through the night air.
John pressed the button on the side of the walkie-talkie. “What do you need, Chloe?”
“I have to go to the bathroom,” she whispered.
“Okay,” he said, “I’ll be right there. Anyone else have to go?”
“All of us,” she answered.
John sat up, put on his boots, and scooted out of the tent. I slipped my feet into my moccasins.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I might as well go, too.”
“Come on, neighbor lady.” He reached for my hand, helping me up. “There’s never a dull moment.”
I zipped up our tent to keep out the critters and small children. Walter flitted over and held my hand. His eyes studied the twinkling stars above. “It’s like Never-Neverland.”
“Sure is,” John whispered.
Chapter 27
The soles of my boots scuffled across the dusty ground on the path next to the creek. With my hands in my pockets and my head down, my camera bumped against my chest. My Stetson blocked the view as it hung over my brow, but the Montana landscape was etched in my mind and this trip would long be remembered. I breathed in with a heavy heart, knowing I was leaving and the thought of driving back weighed me down.
John and I had exchanged words, but people do that when they know something has to end. Part of me kept that in check when I thought about him saying he wanted to marry me, and that I always had a home here. The creek roared louder today over its pebbly basin.
Vibrant blooms supported by slender green stems poked their heads into the air proudly. I took the cap from the lens, stuffed it into my back pocket, and knelt beside them. The shutter clicked as I focused on nature, trying to get the mountains behind the split rail fence into the frame as I told myself everything had boundaries, and for that, I wasn’t sure I had the gumption to leave my own backyard to explore another one.
I listened to my heart as it thumped against my chest walls, trying to get out. Extraordinary vastness surrounded me, grounded me, suffocated the world back home. Lifting my chin to the sky, the sun warmed me and I wondered how I could betray a lifetime of memories for a whim that presented itself in the lush mountain pastures, wild creatures that I trusted when I rode, a man, his father, and an eight-year-old girl named Chloe.
Their love called out like the gray wolf tipping its nose to the Montana moon howling into the night. Its echo ricocheted and I heard nothing else. As the ranch faded into the distance, my footsteps grew heavier.
I sat down in the long grass with my spine against the trunk of an ancient shade tree, the creek my company. The rough bark snagged my hair when I leaned back after laying my cowboy hat on the ground. Holding the viewfinder to my eye, I clicked then turned to see who was coming as the sound of horse hooves grew louder. Even with his face shaded by the sun that hit his back, Winston Ludlow McIntyre’s silhouette was undeniably recognizable.
“Hey, girl. I thought that was you.”
I started to get up to greet him, and he motioned for me to stay put.
With a groan, he dismounted and tied his black beauty to the tree. “It’s been a long morning. How about if I join you?”
I nodded, held my camera in my lap, and felt my jeans stick to the back of my legs. “Anything wrong?”
“No, got three little ones that like to stray.”
“Is one of them named Chloe?” I asked jokingly.
“Not this time. I’m talking about cattle, but I could see how that would happen.” Winston knelt, took off his hat, mopped his brow with his bandana, and then sat down beside me.
His rugged profile softened as he settled in next to me. My words got tangled in my throat like hard-knotted thread, and my brow beaded with sweat. His aged green eyes searched my face.
“Suppose you have a lot on your mind,” he said softly.
Not sure what he knew, I nodded. “Thanks for letting me ride with you while I was here.”
“It’s hard work, Maggie. Takes a hearty soul to make a go of it.”
“Nothing worth having is easy. I guess that’s where the phrase labor of love comes from.” And love was labor to me. It poked, prodded, and twisted in my gut just waiting for me to yell uncle.
Damn.
Winston’s sigh drifted off in the air as the drooping willow branches swayed in the breeze.
“I sure will be sorry to see you go.”
He drew in a long breath then rubbed his temples with his right forefinger and thumb. His thick hand practically covered his whole face.
“Yeah, me too,” I said under my breath.
Winston’s gaze connected with mine. “You still have that ticket I left for you?”
“Yeah.” I fidgeted with my camera.
“It’s good any time,” he said, drawing one knee up to his chest.
“Thanks.”
“You’re a woman of few words. Never knew a girl who didn’t like to talk.” Winston tucked the bandana in his right shirt pocket, and then he dug in the left shirt pocket for a cigarette and a light. “Don’t tell my son you saw me smoke. I’ve been trying to quit, but it’s like trying to stop breathing.”
“No worries,” I said, with a grin.
Winston touched the lighter to the end of his cigarette then took a drag. His eyes narrowed as a stream of white smoke billowed out from his nostrils. “Chloe sure does think the world of you.”
“I really like her, too.” My heart swelled.
“She has the same look in her eye that her daddy does, even though he tries hard to cover it up. He never was very good at hiding his feelings.” Winston took another drag of his smoke then he proceeded to talk. “Since you don’t feel like talking, I got plenty to say. Just let be whatever will be.”
I soaked up his words and wished to God this would all work out.
“It’s that simple. Life is too short, Maggie.” Winston flicked the ashes from the end of his cigarette. “Sometimes when you get it, you throw it away or it leaves before you realize what you have and you just can’t get it back, no matter how hard you try.”
Studying his profile, I listened harder than I’d ever listened before.
“Maggie, I’m not gonna be able to do this forever. I go out there—” He waved his cigarette out in front of him. “—knowing I’d better live for today ‘cause tomorrow might not come.”
The knot loosened at the back of my throat, but what was there to say to that? I focused on breathing then scanned the horizon through the wispy branches that almost touched the stream.
“I don’t mean to be harsh, but it’s the truth. Sometimes people go too long without hearing it, and sometimes it takes a stranger to deliver it.”
Maggie's Montana (Montana Bound Book 3) Page 17
