by Sindee Lynn
“I’m sorry,” he said, placing his chin on the top of her head.
He felt her heavy breasts rise and fall against his arms in a deep exhale before she spoke. Kenny forced his body to calm down. He didn’t want to scare her.
“Sorry for what? That you asked me out or sorry you want to date my sister instead.”
A small shiver ran down his spine at the thought of dating Brenda. Not on anyone’s life. He wanted to reassure her that nothing could be further from the truth, but in doing so, would he reveal too much of what he was feeling? And what was he feeling? Other than lust, he thought, hoping Connie couldn’t feel how being this close to her was affecting him. It was making it hard to think about anything other than how much he wanted to push her down onto one of the cushioned lawn deck chairs and make love to her. Okay, Jamison, settle down, he told himself. Besides, thoughts like that were not exactly helping his growing situation. Connie stirred in his arms, and Kenny realized he still hadn’t responded.
“That’s not what I was apologizing for.”
When she turned in his arms to face him, his body moved as if with a mind of its own closer to hers, wanting to feel those soft curves against his harder ones. She lifted her eyes to his. Were those tears? His chest tightened at the thought.
“If not that, then what?” she asked softly, holding his gaze.
Looking down into her upturned face, he realized he wanted to take away the uncertainty and the pain and distrust he had spotted earlier. When in his presence, he wanted only to see her eyes shine with amusement or darken with desire. Kenny willed his dick to stop throbbing and twitching. This was not the time to be thinking of how close she was pressed against him or how her scent was threatening to rob him of his senses. Maybe if he played his cards right he might find out what it felt like to have her lying naked beneath him. He almost groaned at the instant image that flashed pass his eyes. He took a deep breath and prayed for control.
“I was apologizing for allowing you to believe I would prefer to be here with anyone but you. And I can honestly say the thought of being here with your sister never crossed my mind.”
Connie gave a snort of laughter and his arms tightened around her. Never before had he met a woman so in need of reassurance of her own appeal. She was so vulnerable. He was used to dealing with women who were confident and sure in every aspect of their world. Women who didn’t need him to pad their already inflated egos over their own success and beauty. But this woman … he glanced down at her. This woman needed to hear those words, and he found it curious how badly he wanted to say them.
“Are you kidding? She’s gorgeous. And you and I both know she is more your type than I am.”
The glint in her eyes dared him to deny her words, and he hesitated. He wanted to reassure her, not give her more reasons to doubt his words, but he refused to lie to her. In the end it would only make his situation worse, and he knew it.
“No, I can’t deny it,” he replied slowly.
“And you are most definitely her type. Unfortunately.”
The misery reflected in her gaze tore at his heart. All he wanted to do was make it right for her. For the pain she had felt at the hands of a sister who apparently cared nothing for her feelings to go away.
“Connie, I am here with you because this is where I want to be. I’m sure we can both agree if I wanted to be here with anyone else, then I could be. But trust me when I tell you, the thought of being here with your sister never crossed my mind.”
Try as he might, he couldn’t seem to keep his distaste over the thought from coming through in his words.
“Why do I get the feeling something happened tonight and you're not telling me,” she questioned, gazing intently up at him.
A deep sigh moved through his body. Nothing on this earth could make him reveal her sister’s hurtful words from earlier. So maybe it was time for him to change tactics. His body was definitely ready for a different kind of communication. A slow smile lifted his lips as he thought of finally tasting those luscious lips. Would they taste as sweet as he imagined?
“Can we talk about something else?” he asked, leaning close to her ear and hoping to distract her.
His warm lips nibbled on her ear lobe. He felt the small shiver running through her body and smiled into the night.
“What else is there to talk about? We talked all during dinner,” she said, moving her head to the side to give him better access.
Kenny nibbled at the softness of her neck, breathing deep of the scent he would forever associate with Connie. He nipped her gently with his teeth, smiling against her neck when he heard her groan of pleasure.
“You’re trying to take my attention off the conversation,” she said softly.
He trailed more soft kisses up the side of her neck until he was close to her ear.
“Is it working?”
A moan was his only response. Yes. Finally he had moved them to a topic he could spend all night on. He couldn't contain a smile as he continued to nibble a path down her neck to her shoulder. His hands grew restless at her waist where he’d managed to keep them. His palms longed to be filled with the fullness of her large breasts.
“She made a pass at you, didn’t she?” Connie asked, suddenly pulling away from him slightly.
He wasn’t sure how much more of this his ego could take. That her mind could still be filled with thoughts other than him was starting to do major damage. Was he losing his touch? When he lifted his head, a look of triumph was clearly displayed on her face. He wasn’t sure if the look was because she was the one standing on his deck wrapped in his arms or if it was because she had finally figured out some great mystery? He’d like to think it was the first, but the way his luck had been running with Connie, Kenny realized it was probably the latter.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, pulling her back into his embrace.
“Like I told you earlier, I’m right where I want to be. Now I think we’ve talked about your sister enough for one night,” he said, lowering his head once more.
“Okay, I agree but what else is there to talk about?” Connie asked in a whisper her gaze held by the intensity of his look.
“Who says we have to talk at all,” he said before lowering his head to hers.
Chapter 9
Connie watched in slow motion as Kenny’s lips moved closer to hers. Oh god, he’s going to kiss me were her last coherent thoughts before warm lips melded with hers. Heaven couldn't have felt any better than the place she found herself when his tongue pushed its way through her parted lips and began to dance with hers. The sigh that escaped her mouth allowed him deeper access, and she gave herself over to the pleasure of his kiss.
Determined hands glided down her back to grip her butt, pulling her lower body closer to the hardening length of his erection. Heat raced through her at the contact. She couldn't breathe. Her senses were flooded with this man. His smell. His touch. Connie had been kissed plenty of times but never had she felt such an all-consuming heat take over her body as she did now. It was as if she were being sucked into an abyss. A glorious, pleasurable abyss. She wasn’t prepared to handle something like this. Panic began to set in, and she pushed gently against the hard chest pressed against hers. She needed space. With him so close, she couldn’t think. When his hold on her tightened instead of allowing her freedom, she shoved a little harder until she was able to finally break free. Not glancing at him, afraid of what she would see, she put some space between them.
Her thoughts were cloudy as her brain worked hard to function normally again. This was a mistake. She glanced over her shoulder to where he stood. What was she getting herself into? Connie turned away from the sight, for fear she would give in to her desire to be back in his arms again. All through the evening, she had tried to remind herself he was only in her life for a short time. Nothing would come of this. Over and over she had told herself he was used to women falling all over themselves. That she was nothing more than just a passing curiosity, a
nd he would discover sooner than later that there was nothing special about her. But somewhere along the way, the lines had started to blur for her. A grunt left her. Who was she kidding? The whole evening had been one blurred line after the other. It had felt almost like a real date instead of a fact finding mission. The ease of the conversation while they had eaten, the things they had in common despite the age difference and that kiss …. A deep sigh left her as she recalled the way his lips had felt on hers. Her fingers moved to brush against her slightly swollen lips, but she quickly lowered them when she realized what she was doing. This was all wrong. It couldn't be what it seemed. But if that were the case, why had it felt so real? Surely he couldn't have been faking the entire evening. Especially not mere moments ago when the proof of his excitement had been pressed close against her and the desire she had seen in his eyes when she had pulled away could not be ignored. Could it? A sinking sensation filled her. She was so confused and beyond out of her element.
Connie was so deep in her thoughts she wasn’t aware he had moved until she felt him behind her, not touching her but close. Heat radiated from his body to hers, and she longed to be back in his arms once again. When gentle hands on her shoulders began massaging the tension away, she gave in to her need and leaned into his warmth. A deep sigh of pleasure escaped her parted lips when he wrapped his arms around her from behind. Closing her eyes, Connie promised herself she would move in just a minute. But for now she wanted to enjoy this brief moment of being in his arms.
“Should I apologize for what just happened?”
His hot breath was next to her ear, sending shivers of pleasure up and down her spine.
“Of course not,” she said quietly before turning in his arms.
The desire shining brightly in the gaze staring down at her caused her to pause. Every attempt she had made at telling herself this was not real was being trampled beneath the weight of his gaze.
“I’m just not used to all of this, and I don’t know what you expect of me,” she finally managed a response.
“Used to what? Being kissed?” he asked, leaning down to brush a soft kiss against her upturned lips. “Or being felt up?”
Mischief flashed briefly in his gaze before his hands moved down her back to caress her rounded backside. Moisture flooded her already damp panties, and the ache between her legs intensified. Connie closed her eyes against the pleasure his touch was invoking. Never had anyone made her feel like this before. Her body was taut with need. She realized it wouldn't take much convincing on his part to get her in his bed tonight. The thought both frightened and thrilled her at the same time.
“No, I’ve been kissed before and felt up. It may come as a shock to you, but I’ve even had sex,” she said in a loud whisper as an impish grin slanted her face.
Connie didn’t know where this sudden desire to flirt with danger came from. But it was overriding her good sense. The deep rumble of laughter she felt vibrating his chest caused her shirt to rub against her sensitive nipples and took the breath from her. She bit her lip to keep a groan from slipping pass.
“Do tell. Then what exactly is it that you are not used to?”
She hesitated. Did she really want to admit she may have had sex, but none of those guys had evoked any of the feelings she had experienced by just kissing him? Kenny was the type of guy who could make her forget everything life had taught her about what could and couldn't be. And it scared her more than the foreign feelings moving through her.
“Connie, we agreed to honesty,” he reminded her when she remained silent.
“I know. It was my rule. One I’m now regretting,” she said, her gaze focused somewhere over his shoulder.
After a few moments more of her continued silence, his arms tightened around her, and a soft kiss landed at her temple.
“Then how about I go first,” he said, releasing her from his embrace.
Without having him close, the chill of the evening surrounded her, and she felt a little lost. Connie wrapped her arms around herself, hoping to recreate the warmth of his embrace, but it wasn’t the same.
“If I told you how long it’s been since I’ve actually been excited about seeing a woman for a date, you’d probably call me a liar. But the truth is the thought of seeing you tonight made me just as nervous as it excited me.”
Her eyes widened in surprise.
“I mean here I was at work, my desk full of things I should be concentrating on. But all I could think about was how you smiled at me on Friday night.”
Kenny looked away, but not before she saw the embarrassment in his gaze. Giddiness mixed with disbelief bubbled up inside her. To know he had been battling the same feelings both amazed and comforted her.
“Kenny, even before your first smile or your first words, I had you pegged as arrogant and cocky. A guy who was used to getting what he wanted.”
“Wow, you got all that just from looking at me,” he said, his smile a little strained.
“If it helps any, I also thought you were kind of cute,” she said, a small smile on her face as she thought back on her first up close look at Kenny Jamison.
“Hmm, just kind of cute,” he asked, an odd look on his face.
All Connie did was smile. There was no way she was gonna tell him what she’d really thought upon seeing him standing at the counter.
“The point I’m trying to make here is that you and I come from two completely different worlds. And in my experience, guys like you don’t look twice at girls like me,” she said, moving to lean against the rail.
She closed her eyes on the tears threatening to fall as she recalled the exceptions to that rule and all the many times she’d fallen victim to it.
“Well, they do if you come with a sister like mine.”
Emotions clogged the back of her throat. She thought she had put the lid on all those old hurts and pains, but standing gazing up at the night sky, it came back to her. She’d been such a fool then. Was she headed down the same road again?
“Then how do you explain the fact that I not only looked twice at you, I practically begged you for a date and you're standing on my deck right now,” Kenny asked, inching closer to her side.
Connie smiled in spite of herself. When he put it that way … but then reality and her past experience closed ranks around her.
“I don’t think something like this counts,” she said quietly before adding. “You're only going to be around for a short time.”
She had made herself say the words out loud in hopes of reminding herself of how true they were. When a harsh laugh came from the man standing beside her, she turned her head to glance in his direction. She noticed the muscle ticking at his jaw, which was clenched tight.
“Is that what you're counting on?”
She was confused at the underlying anger she sensed from him.
“No, it’s what I expect,” she said, hunching her shoulders.
Kenny placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.
“Why is that what you expect, Connie? Is the thought of having something other than just tonight such a horrible thought? Don’t you want more?”
Eyes that had seen too much pain stared into his confused gaze. A soft smile played around the corners of her mouth. How could she expect him to understand?
“If only it were that simple. I’d like to think there could be more to this,” she said, using her hands to encompass them both along with their surroundings. “But I’ve learned wanting more comes at too high of a price.”
A deep sigh escaped her.
“You know I don’t know any girl who doesn’t have dreams of the perfect man walking into their life, and I’m no different. My guy would see no other woman but me regardless of who else was standing there. My roommates. Brenda. It wouldn’t matter. It might be a day when I had on my baggiest sweatpants and biggest t-shirt. He wouldn't care how my hair looked or if I had on any makeup. He would accept me for who I am.”
She glanced up at Kenny to se
e his reaction to her words. He was standing there with a look in his eyes she couldn't decipher.
“Would it make you happy to have this mystery guy, Connie?” he asked, moving closer.
He pinned her gently against the rail behind her. It was hard to breathe let alone think, but she didn’t have to in order to answer the question.
“Yeah, it would. Just once I’d like to know what it’s like to have the man every other woman wants on my arm. I’ve always had a weakness for pretty boys,” she said, shaking her head. “Not that they’ve ever had a weakness for me.”
A wave of self-consciousness crashed down around Connie, and she lowered her head to stare at her feet. What in the world had made her reveal so much? Would he think her pathetic that this was what she dreamed? Instantly, she knew when she had become the focus of his attention. The intensity of his gaze weighed heavy upon her, but still she refused to look up. Strong fingers lifted her chin until she was forced to look at him.
“You know I’ve been told by a few women that I’m somewhat of a catch,” he said quietly.
Connie was barely able to contain the grunt of disbelief that rose up the back of her throat. Not forty yet and to have accomplished so much. There were limitless possibilities ahead of him. Somewhat of a catch was definitely an understatement.
“And I’ve heard whispers from time to time I’m what can be classified as a pretty boy. I’m not sure, but I think it’s the light skin and the funny colored eyes.”
Kenny hunched his shoulders nonchalantly.
Still Connie remained silent. She wondered if he had a point to all of his insightful revelations. In her opinion, he was just simply stating the painfully obvious differences between them.
