Of course, the minute I’d stepped out of the station closest to the studio, it had started pouring, and my hair and clothes were now soaking wet. There were no cabs to be seen, so I’d ducked into a bookstore to try and escape the downpour, and I was still waiting for it to stop, seeing as I hadn’t had the good sense to bring an umbrella.
So much for being independent.
I sighed and sent an apologetic text message to Marko Schreiber, telling him that I’d be at the studio soon. Hopefully, Cam wasn’t causing trouble for him.
I doubted he would be causing too much trouble, though. Since our prank war in the Hamptons, which I’d clearly won, Cam had seemingly developed a whole new level of respect for me. We’d still been catching up every so often to work on rescuing his career, and he’d been purely professional. No sleazy comments, no cheesy jokes—just plain old professionalism. I was suspicious at first, but he didn’t seem to have an ulterior motive...at least not one I had picked up on yet.
Speaking of his career, things were going well with that, and I was pleased with how much experience the internship was providing me with. Cam had participated in the Color Run shortly after our vacation, and he’d done well. Thousands of his social media fans had donated to the children’s hospital charity after seeing that he was participating, and a few diehard fans had even showed up to watch him run.
I’d gone to watch too, but only so I could watch him get doused in colorful paints. I’d found it strangely satisfying.
The charity run had already done wonders for his image. An increasing amount of gossip blogs were posting nice things about him and commenting on how he seemed to be making an effort to clean up his image, and there hadn’t been a single candid picture posted online in recent weeks of him drunkenly spilling out of a nightclub or bar. I was glad, because it meant he wasn’t going out partying every night anymore, which would be good for his mind and body…although I was secretly happier about the fact that he wasn’t picking up a different woman every night like he used to.
It wasn’t that I still had feelings for him or anything. Of course not. I just…okay, fine, that was a lie. I still had some feelings for him, but I was confused as hell about them. Sometimes I’d wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat after a sexy dream about him, and other times I’d remember what an untrustworthy douchebag he was, and I’d have nightmares in which I’d jump into bed with him only to find Tiffany and Jana there too. One time I’d even had a nightmare in which I’d found him in bed with an entire catalog’s worth of Victoria’s Secret Angels.
I kept trying to weigh up the pros and cons of being attracted to him, but I still couldn’t decide what to do. Should I tell him, or should I keep it to myself? Should I trust him ever again? Do I actually even like him, or am I just thrilled by the idea of him because he’s so hot and so off-limits, given that he’s my stepbrother now?
So many questions, and I still had no idea as to what the answers were yet. I needed some sort of sign from the universe to tell me how I really felt about the situation.
Oh, great. Now I was starting to believe in signs from the universe…
As I tried my best to dry off in the bookstore, my phone beeped from inside my purse. It was a text from Cam.
Marko says you’re gonna be a bit late. Where are you?
I quickly shot a text back. I’m only a 5 minute walk away. Got caught in rain.
You should’ve let me drive you, he replied. Did you take the subway?
Before I could reply, he sent another text. Maybe you could catch the F train with me later ;)
Great. The old Cam was back.
You’re gross, I sent back. What happened to the new and professional Cam?
He got bored, he replied. Anyway, we’re getting started here. Let me know if it keeps raining, and I’ll send someone to pick you up. See you soon.
The rain finally stopped a few minutes later, and I made my way to the studio. As soon as I stepped inside and made my way over to the shoot, there it was…my sign from the universe.
And it wasn’t good.
The first thing I saw was a black and white picture of a writhing, half-naked couple on a large mockup image, with red words plastered across it: Aubé – Oh, baby!
Okay, that was kinda lame and kinda sexualized, but I guess it worked as a slogan for Aubé’s new campaign. What didn’t work was what I saw next.
Cam was reclining on an enormous bed, wearing a pair of Aubé’s signature men’s silk boxers and nothing else. No less than six very beautiful and very topless models were draped all over the bed in supposedly-artistic poses, and one even had her hand on Cam’s thigh, a little too close to the good stuff.
Marko called out directions as his camera clicked and flashed, and I felt a sudden stabbing pain in my gut. This was it. I knew how I really felt now. Seeing Cam with these other women all over him had finally made me realize once and for all that I wanted to be the only woman writhing around naked with him, now and forever.
And I hated that feeling.
I hated knowing that I was so weak; that I’d forgive everything he’d ever done just because I was so deeply attracted to him. It was wrong, and besides, I’d been pushing aside one major aspect of this situation the entire time. He was my stepbrother, and even if he was a truly decent guy, we couldn’t be together because of that. My Mom didn’t need any more disappointment in her life after what my Dad had done to her with all his cheating and emotional abuse. She’d finally moved on with Pierce, and I wanted her to stay happy and drama-free.
Speaking of drama, Cam’s career was just starting to move on an upward trajectory again, so he didn’t need any tabloid drama either. I could only imagine the headlines if he started screwing his only stepsister and it somehow got out to the general public.
As my startling realization continued to sink in, the Aubé shoot continued before me, and my heart pounded as I tried to stop staring at Cam. Unfortunately, I couldn’t.
Despite all the negatives, I still wanted him too badly to look away.
One of the models on the bed moved her hand onto Cam’s chest, and as she looked over and noticed me standing off to the side, she smirked. Oh god…it was Jana, the girl from his building. She leaned her head down, and with that, she licked a slow, wet trail from Cam’s chest down to his lower abs. If I hadn’t slammed my notebook down on a nearby table at that exact second, she might have gone further.
Everything seemed to freeze in that moment, and the stabbing pain in my guts worsened. Cam finally noticed me at the sound of my notebook hitting the table, and he jumped up from his reclining position. Most of the models scattered as well, but Jana stayed put, still smirking.
Marko called out to everyone. “Okay, guys, I guess we’re taking a quick break. Don’t go too far, though.”
He turned to me. “Everything okay?”
“Yes,” I said, violently nodding my head so that he wouldn’t notice how not okay I was. “I just…I think I dropped my phone outside. Maybe I should go check.”
I needed to get out of here. Now.
I couldn’t be around Cam for another second. I’d only just realized that I still desperately wanted him, as much as I hated it—and there he was, practically getting blown during a photo shoot by Jana, the girl he’d said ‘meant nothing’ to him. Maybe I was a prude, but what she’d done didn’t seem like typical photo shoot stuff. It wasn’t like Marko had commanded them to do it, anyway. It seemed to have happened organically, as if it were something Cam and Jana were used to doing together.
Of course they were.
The whole thing made me feel even stupider for still wanting him.
Marko nodded. “That’s fine. Cam’s doing great anyway. He’s got tons of raw, passionate energy, and he hasn’t blown anything up yet,” he said with a wink. “You don’t even need to be here to supervise. Go look for your phone, hon.”
“Okay. Thanks, Marko.”
With that, I turned and dashed outside, tears p
ricking at my eyes. I knew I was behaving unprofessionally by running out on the shoot I’d helped organize, but right now, that didn’t seem to matter. Maybe I just needed to quit this damn managerial internship right now, because I obviously wasn’t cut out for the business if I was going to act like this.
I knew it wasn’t the job that was the problem, though. It was him. Cam. God, I was such a baby. Seeing him with Jana in that compromising position had reduced me to tears, like a pathetic little child, and I needed to grow up and get over it. I needed to get over him.
I didn’t turn around to see if he was following me—partially because I wanted to be alone…and mostly because I was certain he wouldn’t.
Chapter 12
Cam
I quickly pulled on my clothes and dashed outside, cursing as I realized it had just started raining again. “Fuck…Anya! Come back!”
I knew she couldn’t have gone too far from the building, and I saw her a minute later, sheltering herself in a dilapidated old bus stop. I ran over to her, and as I wiped the raindrops from my face, I saw that her face was wet too…only hers was wet with tears.
“Anya,” I said, panting slightly. “Why’d you run out like that? What’s wrong?”
She sniffed and wiped her face. “It doesn’t matter,” she mumbled.
I crouched down before her, looking up into her beautiful eyes. “Yes, it does matter. Are you mad because of what Jana did? Because I—”
She held up a hand, cutting me off. “Don’t even try to explain,” she said. “You’ve always got an excuse for everything, but you don’t need to this time. It’s fine, I get it—you’re probably still sleeping with Jana and a hundred other women as well, just like you always have. I’ve just been totally deluding myself into thinking…”
Her voice trailed off, and I frowned. “I’m not sleeping with her, or anyone else for that matter. What she did back in there…it was all part of the shoot. Marko told us to put some raw, sexual energy into it, and that’s just part of the job. It’s meaningless.”
I knew that to her, it sounded like I was making excuses, but I wasn’t. I’d never made excuses or lied to her…not that she had much reason to believe me, given my track record.
She looked down at her feet as I continued. “You know Aubé is a brand with highly-sexualized ad campaigns, so why are you so upset? It was your idea for me to do the campaign. And by the way, I didn’t choose the female models for today’s shoot. Marko hired Jana, and I had nothing to do with her being there.”
Anya sniffed again and still didn’t reply. She looked like she’d start crying again if she even opened her mouth for a second.
Something else she’d said suddenly hit me. “What did you mean when you said you’ve been deluding yourself into thinking something? What was it? And why are you even upset at the thought of me possibly sleeping with someone like Jana if you hate me so much?” I asked, although I was ninety-nine percent certain that I already knew the answer.
It wasn’t hard to do the math. Why else would she be crying over the thought of something going on between me and another woman?
She was jealous, and the only reason I could think of for her to be jealous was if she wanted me all to herself. My pulse sped up as I waited for her response.
“It’s nothing,” she finally replied, not meeting my eyes.
“If you meant you were thinking about you and me being together, I don’t get it. You’ve made it pretty clear that you’re not gonna trust or want me for a long time…maybe not ever,” I said.
“Is that why you’ve been so different and professional lately?” she asked quietly. “Because I was a lost cause?”
I sighed. “Not exactly. I thought I should give you time to think. Figured you might trust me eventually if I gave you some time to do that.”
“So you…you did still want to be with me?” she asked in a small voice.
“Jesus, Anya, of course I did. I do. Why do you think I haven’t been with anyone else since you came back into my life?”
“Because you’ve needed to settle down a bit to help your career,” she mumbled, still not meeting my eyes.
“Bullshit. I’ve been doing it for you. I thought maybe you’d eventually see that you’re the only girl I want, and then you’d finally want me back.”
“Oh.”
We were both silent for a long moment, and then she looked up at me.
“I’m just so confused,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “You must think I’m insane. I still…I still feel the same way about you as I did when I first met you, but at the same time, I’m scared. I’m scared I’m too naïve, and that you’re not someone I can really trust. I don’t want to be hurt again. And then there’s our family…”
I rose back up to my full height and took a step back, staring down at her as raindrops continued to run down my face in rivulets. “Here’s how it is, Anya. I’ve never lied to you. Not once. I know we’ve been in a lot of situations where it might have looked like I was lying, but I swear I haven’t. So I’m gonna say it all again. I never hooked up with that skank Tiffany last year, and I did not invite Jana over the other week when you were at my place. I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time. I told you that because I wanted you to know I was available for you and only you. It’s always been you; you’re the only girl I’ve ever really thought I could be with.”
She looked up at me with wide eyes, and I continued. “I understand why you might not believe a thing I say, and you’re not insane to feel that way about me. I have a shitty reputation. Everyone thinks I’m a playboy, and yeah, maybe I used to be that way. That doesn’t exactly instill trust in most women, so I don’t blame you for being freaked. But I’m gonna keep telling you this, and I’m gonna keep trying until you trust me again. I’m gonna do whatever it takes.”
She was still silent, and I reached down, grabbed her hand and sighed. “I’ve got to get back to the shoot. Go home and think about what I said. I’ll call you later, and we’ll talk some more.”
With that, I let go of her hand and pulled out my wallet. I handed her some cash to get a cab, but she shook her head and refused it. “Thanks, Cam,” she murmured. “But I’ll take the subway. You’re right; I need to think about what you said, and that’ll give me some time to just sit there and think.”
“So you can’t sit and think in a cab?” I asked in a gentle, teasing tone.
She shook her head. “No, I always end up getting into conversations with the cabbies.”
Of course she did. She was so adorably friendly to everyone…everyone except me in the last several weeks, though I couldn’t exactly blame her for that.
“All right. Looks like the rain is stopping now anyway,” I said. “But take care of yourself. Don’t fall in any deep puddles on your way to the station. There might be sharks. Wait, is it still too soon for that joke?”
As I took a step back, I saw a hint of a smile on her face, and my heart soared. Seeing her smile was everything to me, even if it was just a tiny one.
I turned around and trudged back over to the studio, and I thought back to the Color Run race a few weeks ago. A lot of my fans had shown up to support me, and I couldn’t deny that I’d appreciated the attention as they screamed and shouted my name. I’d given them high fives as I ran past, stopped for a few selfies with them, and I’d even let some of them throw colored powders on me at the stop-off booths. I’d known I was giving them a good show, but I hadn’t been doing it for the attention.
I’d done it for her. For Anya.
She’d been working so hard at restoring my public image after the drug scandal had sidelined me, and if she’d asked me to, I would’ve run a million-mile charity race just so I could see her in the crowd, watching me as I ran past.
At the Color Run, she’d acted like she was only there because it was part of her job, but I hadn’t missed the hint of pride in her face as she’d watched me getting doused with pink and yellow paints by a g
roup of young kids. She’d had a vague suggestion of a smile on her face in that moment; the same expression I’d just left her with. It wasn’t a big grin, but I knew I’d get one of those from her one day in the future.
Yep, one day I’d get a real smile from her, and one day she’d completely trust me again.
Any day now.
Chapter 13
Cam
“There you are,” Marko said as I stepped back in. “Back into your outfit, please.”
I grinned, finding it funny that he referred to a pair of boxer shorts as an ‘outfit’. As I stripped back down, the other models whispered amongst themselves, giggling as I glanced in their direction. I flashed a polite smile at them and then headed back over to the bed.
“Not there,” Marko said. “I think we’ve got all the bedroom shots we need. Let’s try one near the windowsill over there. Jana, can you join him? I want you two facing each other. Cam, put one arm around her waist and turn your head left to face me, and Jana, I want your left hand on his shoulder as you look up at Cam’s face, and your right leg sort of hooked up around his thigh.”
“Okay,” I said, heading over to the window.
As much as I didn’t want to be anywhere near Jana after all the trouble she’d inadvertently caused for me and Anya, I had a job to do, and I needed to do it properly. Marko Schreiber could make or break a model’s career, and the Aubé campaign would really help in staging my comeback after all the crap I’d been through after being suspended from my racing gig and dropped from the Calvin Klein campaign.
Things were already progressing well with my comeback thanks to Anya’s hard work on my image, and this shoot would be the pinnacle of that. I knew she’d had help booking Marko from her friend Kara, but still—she’d been doing an amazing job. I had no idea how she fitted it in between all her college classes and assignments.
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