by KB Winters
In government? “You’ll be okay here, Bonnie. Don’t tell anyone what you told me,” I whispered as Hammond returned.
She nodded, dark eyes growing smaller as the sedative began to kick in. I finished cleaning and disinfecting her wounds as she drifted to sleep, making sure to leave a note that she was a victim of domestic violence so I could be sure no male visitors would be allowed in her room.
By the time my shift ended, I was exhausted and in need of a decent meal and a long, hot shower. All those things were on my list, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Bonnie. I knew just one person to talk to, but didn’t know if I wanted to. I had no control where Roddick was concerned, but I knew if I called Baz he’d worry and break his neck to get back here. I sucked it up and sent Roddick a message to stop by before I ticked a hot shower off my list.
“You called,” he said twenty minutes later as he unpacked what I hoped was a burger from a Black Betty’s bag. “I’m guessing it wasn’t a personal reason?”
“Did you want it to be a personal call?” I hadn’t heard from him in a couple days, so I still didn’t know what was going on between us. Casual sex or something more? “Never mind. I did call for a reason, though.” We worked in comfortable silence, gathering plates, barbecue sauce, and beer before we sat down to eat. Then I explained about Bonnie and what she told me.
“She said that he was in government?”
I nodded. “Seemed certain of it too, so I would assume he is well-known.” But his reaction only brought forth more questions. “I thought maybe you could help, but I see now that this news is more than important to you.”
His smile was sardonic. “Yeah, you could say that.”
That was it. No sharing. No details. Nothing. I could see clearly that something about this information bothered him, his silver blue eyes practically spun he was thinking so hard. But still, he said nothing. “What’s going on, Roddick? Is someone else going to end up shot? Or beaten or dead?”
He sighed and his gaze slammed into mine, filled with sorrow and fear and resignation. “I wish I knew, Cherie.” He reached for my hand and pressed his lips against my knuckles so gently I nearly cried out at his tenderness. “Things are changing, and I’m trying my best to make it better for everyone. But that means things might turn to shit for a while.”
“What is a while, Rod, a few weeks? Few months?”
“I don’t know.” He grabbed me and pulled me close so he could wrap his big strong arms around me. “I don’t fucking know, but I wish like hell I did.”
I let him hold me, stroke my hair, and press kisses against my head, my mouth, and my cheeks. He seemed to need the connection which surprised me, but I couldn’t deny that I was happy to be the one providing it to him. But this also hammered home that I needed to keep with my plans. “This is why I’m happy that I’ll be leaving town soon.”
“What the hell does that mean?” He pulled back and scowled down at me.
“Exactly what I said. I’m leaving Brently for good.”
“You can’t leave. I won’t let you!”
“Let?” I barked out a bitter laugh. “News flash, Roddick, you’re not my father, my brother, or my boyfriend. You can’t let me do anything.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded as he leaned over me, bracketing me in his arms. “Yeah,” I responded, feeling defiant. And a little turned on.
“You’re damn right about the first two, but I think we both know you’re lying to yourself about the last one.”
I opened my mouth to deny it, but his mouth crashed into mine, claiming me with a heady passion I’d never felt, or dreamed of feeling. I didn’t even know to dream of a kiss this consuming, slow and torturous. Soon I was lifted in the air, legs wrapped around him as he kicked the bedroom door open, dropping me on the bed and staring down at me with raw need blazing in his eyes. His gaze didn’t linger, though; he undressed and then me before plunging deep into my wet, needy body. Every thrust pounded into me and pushed me closer to the edge. I gave him everything, holding nothing back and came so hard I saw stars. The only sound in the room was his deep voice growling my name as he filled me so completely I knew I’d never be whole again without him.
And my stupid heart soared at how right it felt to fall asleep in his arms. My mind just hoped like hell that he’d be there when I woke up.
***
Roddick
“I can’t believe you’re ticklish!” Cherie laughed at the way I flinched whenever her hands went to my sides. “Big tough biker man is ticklish.”
“Not ticklish, woman, sensitive in that general region.” She laughed again, and the sound washed over me. “What about you?” I asked and pulled her closer, tickling her and producing a husky laugh that had me hard and aching for her. Again.
“Oh I’m ticklish as hell, but you’d never exploit that, would you?” She kicked a leg across my body until she straddled me, leaking her arousal all over my own. “You feel…so good.”
I groaned, holding her hips as they moved slowly, back and forth against the length of my cock. “You too, baby.” She looked so beautiful with her head tossed back, her breaths coming in faster as her arousal kicked up another notch.
The doorbell rang and seconds later the door slammed, and I went on alert, reaching for my piece when a man’s voice sounded. “Cherie! Where are you?”
Baz. I froze and watched as Cherie slid out of bed, casual as you please, and slid a robe over her shoulders. “I’ll be right back.”
I nodded and listened to the siblings talk.
“Why is Roddick’s bike out front?” Suspicion laced Baz’s question.
“None of your business.”
“Cherie,” he growled, but I knew she was one of the few people on the planet not fazed by his bark. “Don’t tell me you’re fucking him.”
“That is none of your goddamn business, Baz, so I’m going to ask you to leave. It’s early as fuck, and I’ve been pulling double shifts for weeks now.” She did sound tired, but I knew it had more to do with the fact that we hadn’t slept for more than an hour at a time because we couldn’t keep our hands—and other parts—to ourselves.
I stood and slipped on my jeans and nothing else. “What’s all the noise?” I heard the growl before his feet began to move and ducked the punch he threw my way. “What the fuck, Baz?”
“My sister? You’re banging my baby sister?” He lurched forward again, but he wasn’t stupid enough to throw another punch, so he just got in my face. “I fuckin’ trusted you.”
I held up my hands, but I wouldn’t back down. “Don’t act like I took advantage of her because I didn’t.”
“Oh yeah. You both just woke up one day and decided to fuck?”
Cherie squeezed between us and smacked her brother’s face. “Will you two stop this nonsense! God!” She pushed at his chest and then mine. “This is why I’m leaving! Everything with you guys is a fucking fight. Use. Your. Words.”
Baz scoffed, “You want words? This is fucked up! She’s my sister, man!” He pushed me, and I saw the hit coming and steeled myself for it. I wouldn’t hit him back because I knew I had it coming for sleeping with his sister.
“Feel better?”
“No goddammit, I don’t!”
“Too bad,” Cherie yelled. “Out! Get the hell out, Baz and don’t come back until you can act civilized!” Tears pooled in her eyes, and I knew this visit had steeled her resolve to leave Brently.
I wrapped her in my arms and dropped a kiss on her head. “I’m so damn sorry, Cherie.”
She pushed at my chest. “Don’t be,” she said, her head shaking and disbelief was written all over her face. “I can’t believe I kicked my brother out. I picked sex over him.” Watery brown eyes stared up at me, sad and disappointed. “You don’t love me, and I picked you over him.”
I didn’t know what I felt, so I couldn’t answer that accusation, but I held her face in my hands and spoke from the heart. “Sweetheart, I don’t know if this is love, b
ut I know it ain’t just sex. I also know that it’s not fair for Baz to make you choose. Plenty of other women your age have sex without choosing, why should you?”
“I…need to be alone.” She turned away and quietly walked down the hall to her bedroom, closing the door behind her.
I would give her the space she wanted, but not like this. I followed her and dressed quickly before curling behind her on the bed and pulling her close, inhaling her sweet scent of vanilla and sex. “You mean something to me, Cherie. Something big but I won’t tell you anything else until I know how this shit will turn out. It wouldn’t be fair. But don’t think we’re done, darlin’.” I turned her head and kissed her, pouring all the words I couldn’t say into that kiss before pulling away and leaving, feeling torn as hell.
And pissed off about it.
Chapter Seven
Cherie
The past week had been complete and total hell. Baz’s appearance hung a dark cloud over whatever was happening between me and Roddick. We didn’t stop seeing each other because Roddick was right, it wasn’t fair for Baz to expect me to choose. But it also highlighted the fact that this wasn’t a forever relationship. I might have wanted it to be, but I’m not a masochist. I had to leave Brently if I ever wanted a shot at a real life away from CAOS.
But I planned to enjoy this thing with Roddick for as long as it lasted. I loved him, of that I was certain, but in the immortal words of Patty Smyth, sometimes love just ain’t enough. It would hurt like hell to leave, but it was always gonna hurt. At least now I knew what it felt like to be with Roddick. To lie with a man who cared about me, because though he didnt love me, I knew he cared about me. A lot.
My shift was nearly over, so I made a quick stop to Bonnie’s room. The woman had just recovered from an infection and would be discharged in the next few days. The problem was she had nowhere to go. Yet. “You’re healing, Bonnie. That’s very good.” She cast me a half-hearted smile and squeezed my hand.
“Gracias, Cherie. You are very kind.”
“Don’t let the others hear you say that,” I joked. “They’ll expect me to be nice to everyone. Is there someone you’d like to call, Bonnie, you can use my phone?”
“I cannot go back to my husband and children after what they have done to me. No thank you, Señorita.”
I squeezed her hand and gave her a quick smile before leaving her room. Ten minutes later I strode through the front doors and into the thick night air. I hardly remembered what sunlight felt like since I’d been working second and third shifts for so long. I groaned when I spotted a familiar figure leaning against my car wearing a shit eating grin. “What do you want, Baz?”
His smile vanished. “I came to apologize.”
“Then let’s hear it.”
“I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, but dammit, Cher…Roddick, really?”
“I don’t need to justify my actions to you, Baz, the same way you don’t have to justify all the women you sleep with.”
“But Roddick?”
I nodded and shoved him aside so I could put my bag down. “Who else? Would it be better if it were one of the prospects?” The dark look that crossed his face told me he didn’t think it would. “I’ve been in love with Roddick since I was a kid, but you wouldn’t know that because you weren’t here.” I held up a hand to stop his attempts to justify his actions. It wasn’t necessary. “I’m in love with him, but he doesn’t know because he doesn’t need to, Baz. I meant it when I said I’m leaving Brently, and since he will never leave, it’s a moot point.”
“Where will you go?”
“Wherever I want. That’s the point.”
“He’s using you,” he bit out.
Those words hurt, and I really wished I could hurt him the same way. “Glad you think so highly of me, Baz. Guess I should’ve let the boys of CAOS run a train on me a long time ago, huh?”
“Dammit, Cherie!”
“No, Baz, you don’t have the right! You and your fuckin’ goons cost me every damn date I was ever asked on my whole life! And now that I’ve chosen a man, even a temporary one, that’s not good enough either. Well, that’s too damn bad!” I yanked the car door open and growled when he tried to stop me.
“Cherie, please.”
“Back off, Baz.” I turned the key in the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot without looking back. I loved my brother, I really did, but right now all I wanted was to be somewhere far away from him and everyone else I knew. Since that wasn’t an option, I decided to close myself up in my house and indulge in the booze on top of my fridge.
After one Jack and cola, I got an idea and signed up for several nationwide nursing agencies. I might not know where I was going, but maybe I needed an adventure for a year or so until I decided. Yeah, that sounded like a good way to choose my next home.
After that, I spent the night knocking back drinks and preparing myself to say goodbye to the town I’d been born in, raised in, and abandoned in so many years ago. Now, I could also remember it as the place where I fell in love.
***
Roddick
Everything had been set up for my Sunday morning meeting with Lazarus, but still, I had a bad feeling about it. He’d sent a late night text message changing the location, and I let Brockton and Mick know before turning back to Cherie and falling into a dreamless sleep. Now though, waiting by the back door of a Mexican supermarket that had long since gone out of business, I had a feeling nothing was right about any of this. I was just glad Mick and a few guys were nearby. Listening.
When Lazarus showed up with—holy fuck—Salvador Maldonado, Governor of the state of Chihuahua, I knew my instincts were right. The real fucking el jefe walked and looked every inch the slick politician he was in a black suit, cowboy boots and a fucking bolero tie. “Glad to finally meet you,” he said, wearing that slick Vaseline smile as he shook my hand.
“I wish I could say the same, but I didn’t even know you existed,” I told him and shook his hand.
Maldonado laughed and shook his head. “Lazarus is the perfect cartel leader, no? He has that crazy eyed thing perfected to scare the boys and keep them in line.” He tapped his head. “You know they fear him even though he is a homo, that’s a special kind of crazy.”
I stared at this crazy motherfucker, talking to me about Lazarus like he wasn’t even standing there. Meanwhile, my fucking head was spinning. I expected a Sheriff or maybe a mayor, not the goddamn governor. Lazarus was a puppet. An effective, maniacal puppet, but a puppet just the same. “Well, the man is good at his job.”
“And he’s soft on you. I’m here to make sure he’s not too soft,” he said pointedly.
I ignored him. “So are we doing this or will brunch be delivered soon?”
Maldonado laughed and handed me the drugs, leaving Lazarus to take the money as though him not touching it somehow exempted him from the transaction. Asshole. “You are a straight shooter, Roddick. Let’s keep it that way, and we will have no problems.”
“The same, Maldonado.” Surprise flashed in his eyes, but instead of commenting, he turned and left us with nothing more than the sound of his boots on the cracked pavement. Moments later I turned the other way and left, jumping on my bike and headed for Brently with Mick and Torch flanking me after one block. Baz and Cash stayed behind in a truck to see what they had on the tech side of things. We hauled ass over the border, not stopping until we rolled inside the clubhouse storage building on our bikes.
Twenty minutes later, Cash and Baz showed up, and from the look in his eyes, I knew Baz was fired up. “What the fuck is going on? That was the shadiest shit I’ve ever seen, so start talking. Now!”
He was in my face, but I didn’t let my irritation show. “Everything will become clear soon, Baz. You don’t know about it because you weren’t here,” I reminded him with a pointed expression. “Ask Mick. He won’t give you details, but he’ll tell you it’s all legit since your president’s word isn’t enough.”
>
Baz pushed me again, spitting fire. “If Cherie wasn’t in love with you, I would bash your fucking face in right now!” I stood my ground, shoulders squared, and straightened to my full height.
“Same goes,” I said quietly, lethally serious.
Torch stepped in between us wearing a creepy ass smile and rubbing his bald head. “You want to scrap Baz, I’m in!”
Baz stared and a moment later the tension fled the room thanks to Torch. “You crazy motherfucker,” he laughed, “I may be crazy, but not that damn crazy.” Torch let out a howl and wrapped an arm around Baz’s shoulders, and just like that, things were cool again. Mostly.
“Now, do you want to show us what you and Cash found or keep shooting daggers my way?”
Cash grinned and opened a heavy duty looking laptop. “Hell yeah, we got the suit and the whack job shaking hands, hugging and laughing. But the best part of all you have to see for yourself.”
We crowded around Baz and Cash, eyes glued to the computer screen as Lazarus and Maldonado shook hands. They spoke in rapid fire Spanish and then Lazarus handed him three stacks of the cash I’d placed in Lazarus’ hand. “Holy shit!” Mick was the first to break the deafening silence.
“Who’s that?” Torch asked.
“That is our cash in the bank,” I told him and asked for a copy of the footage. “Store this someplace safe and keep several copies.”
“You got it,” Cash said, fingers flying over the keyboard while Baz said something about cloud storage, whatever the hell that was.
A few hours later we all dispersed, heading home or into the clubhouse for a few hours with the pass-arounds. I made my way home where Cherie was hopefully waiting, and called Brockton on my way. “Stop by as soon as you can.”
Chapter Eight
Cherie
It was official. I just got word from Darla that my debt to the hospital had been officially paid off. It took just half the time it was expected to, she pointed out, and reminded me just how valuable I was to the team. I knew she appreciated my hard work and willingness to work extra shifts, but I also knew they’d replace me within two weeks once I was gone.
