Josh said, “No.”
“Were you married?”
“Yes. She ...” he stumbled, “she remarried.”
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t that long ago was it?”
“Uh, no.” This had to be the oddest conversation in history. He knew she would ask questions relentlessly. It’s just what she did. He had to change the subject, if only to maintain his sanity. An idea struck him. Before she could ask her next question, he said, “Kelly, Andy told me a funny story once. You’ll have to tell me if it was really true.”
She finally looked nervous.
“He said you were at a local lake with your ski boat. You did the romantic thing with champagne at sunset. Then you dropped him off at the dock so he could get the truck and boat trailer. While he was getting the trailer, he said you took the boat out for one last high-speed spin.”
He saw her eyes widen with recognition. “Oh no, he told you that?” Smiling, she hung her head dramatically.
He knew she liked being the central character in a story, and Carl was enjoying her embarrassment.
“He said he heard you racing off into the night near the shoreline. It was getting dark, and wasn’t the water level in the lake lower than usual?”
She nodded guiltily.
“If I remember correctly, he said that as he brought the truck down the ramp with the trailer, he heard an outboard motor running at full speed. Then he heard a cough, stutter and silence.”
Kelly shook her head. “I didn’t know the water was only a few inches deep near the island.”
Smiling, Carl added, “Oops.”
Josh continued, “He said, in the dark he heard a distant, rhythmic splashing sound. He yelled your name but got no answer. He got worried, jumped in and swam out a couple hundred yards.”
Kelly smiled and shook her head.
“As he got closer, he said he could make out the outline of the boat and you swimming in front of it. You were trying to pull the boat in with a rope?”
Kelly protested, “I had to. There was only one paddle and I kept going around in circles.”
Carl started laughing.
She added, “He almost drowned laughing at me, so I helped him by pushing his head under. I was so mad!” Kelly’s eyes flashed, and then she started laughing.
He couldn’t help but think how much he missed those laser green eyes.
She said, “I can’t believe he shared that with you. So your only impression of me is an airhead sailor with a bad temper!”
“No, no, I’m sorry. He told me awesome things about you. This was just one of those stories that kinda sticks with you.”
Kelly said, “Yeah, he was always a great storyteller.” She cocked her head to one side, and looking right at him, added, “Like you.” She paused. “Josh, it’s weird but as you told that story, I so heard him. You told it exactly like he would’ve.”
Carl nodded. “She’s right. You really could be his brother with your speech patterns.”
He realized a new voice box didn’t change his inflection or idioms. He’d have to be more careful. Truthfully, he said, “That’s probably because we both grew up in Northern Virginia.”
Carl and Kelly both nodded, but Kelly added, “Did you know his call sign was Fuzed, like your last name?”
“Yeah. That was a ... cool coincidence.” Deflecting, he quickly asked, “So how do you like the D.C. area?”
Kelly said, “It’s actually a great place to live, but of course, we’ll have to start thinking about good school districts now with the baby.”
Josh coughed, almost spitting out his water, “Baby?”
She frowned at Carl. “Carl didn’t tell you?”
Carl shrugged awkwardly.
She continued, “We have a beautiful, bouncing baby girl.” Like any proud mother, Kelly immediately pulled up pictures on her phone.
Carl added, “She’s already got her mother’s temper.”
Kelly smiled, shaking her head. “She’s just strong.”
Josh looked carefully at the pictures and saw a beautiful, red-haired baby girl. Softly, he asked, “How old is she?”
“Let’s see, Caitlin will be seven months next week ...”
For Josh, time stopped.
24
DAUGHTER
Josh saw a bright flash and everything froze. For a moment, there were two of him. Then, time started moving again but in slow motion.
. . .
Josh stood up, knocking his chair over backwards and rushed to Kelly’s side of the table.
Startled, she pushed her chair back. He grabbed her arms just above the elbow and pulled her out of her chair. “Kelly Bear, it’s me! It’s Andy! I’m alive!” He could see the look of surprise and shock on her face. Still moving in slow motion, he saw Carl stand up out of the corner of his eye, as everyone in the restaurant turned toward them.
Kelly’s eyes were wide as she stared intently into his. Then her face turned from surprise to anguish and fear. Backing up slowly, she started shaking her head and sobbing, “No ... no!” She looked away from him and swept her hands up between them, breaking his grasp. Her face continued to morph into terrible agony.
He moved toward her, but felt Carl’s hand in the middle of his chest. With a look of unadulterated hatred, Carl yelled, “What the hell are you doing? Get away from my wife!” He shoved Josh back against the table almost knocking him down, as Kelly ran from the restaurant.
His perspective flashed forward in time. Like a movie trailer, he saw himself running. He was a fugitive. His program crumbled around him and there was fire everywhere.
Then, another bright flash.
. . .
Josh found himself still sitting in his chair at the restaurant, muscles tensed to stand.
“... Caitlin will be seven months next week. It’s hard to believe she’s already that old, but time flies faster when you’re changing diapers,” Kelly finished with a smile.
Josh took a cautious breath and tried to relax his calf muscles.
She suddenly tipped her head sideways and said, “Whoa, I just had a total déjà vu moment, like this already happened.” She laughed. “I get those all the time, do you?”
He just nodded dumbly, still looking at the picture on Kelly’s phone. Finally, he managed to squeeze out, “She’s beautiful, just like her mom.” Sitting back, he added, “Excuse me, boy’s room. Be right back.”
As he got up, he heard Kelly whispering to Carl, “I was wrong. I’m sure I have met him before.”
Inside one of the men’s room stalls, he just stood there leaning against the wall trying to breathe. It was the same feeling he had after narrowly avoiding a midair collision with another fighter. He did the math again as his overworked adrenal glands quieted. It had to be. Caitlin was his daughter. He shook his head and said softly, “A daughter ... I have a daughter.”
It also dawned on him that Carl had asked a very pregnant Kelly to marry him. Josh realized he’d been harboring an illogical resentment toward Carl, but this changed things. Carl had done something few men would have done. He felt genuine warmth for his old friend again. He sighed. “Thanks, Carl.”
Shredded by so many emotions, he just had to hold it together a little longer. He latched on to something to help him focus. He had a daughter, a daughter who was going to die in 20 months unless he succeeded.
He went to the sink and splashed water on his face. Wiping it off, he took a deep breath and returned.
As he sat back down at the table, he said, “I realized I never congratulated you on your marriage or daughter.”
Kelly smiled. “Andy and I never talked about what would happen if one of us weren’t here anymore, but,” she paused, “I think he would have approved.”
He saw her eyes get a little glassy but she was a strong woman. No tears and she never let her voice inflection change. He appreciated that strength now. He glanced at Carl and then looked her directly in the eye. Slowly, but with strength, he said, “I am abso
lutely certain that Andy wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”
With a slightly raspy voice, Kelly said, “Thanks, Josh.” Taking a deep breath and wiping her eyes, she escaped into her comfortable cross-examination mode. “So, you’re not married now. Anyone in the wings?”
Carl shook his head. “She just meets you and she’s already weighing you to decide who she’ll introduce you to.”
Josh, looking a little uncertain, said, “Uh, actually, there might be someone.” He paused. “She’s a nurse in Kansas City, but I don’t know if my occupation will ultimately work for her.”
“Military officers and nurses,” she shook her head, “such a cliché. Well, she’s in for a wild ride, but if she’s got any guts, she won’t let you get away.” Smiling, she added, “Course, she must be a saint if she’s hanging with someone like you.”
Josh knew he’d been accepted when she was willing to tease him. He pushed his food around the plate, and finally looking at his phone, said, “I’m sorry, but I really have to go. Kelly, it was great to, uh, meet you.”
They all stood up and Carl shook Josh’s hand saying, “I’ll get back to you on that security check.”
Josh nodded.
Before Josh could offer his hand, Kelly came over and hugged him. He didn’t want to let her go, but matched her hug and politely patted her on the back.
On the drive home, Kelly was uncharacteristically quiet.
Carl finally asked, “You OK?”
Sniffing she said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me ... probably just hormones.”
She smiled at Carl and ran her hand through his hair. “Actually, I’m great.” Looking out the window, she said, “I don’t know why, but for some reason I feel like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders.” Then she looked back at Carl with a hint of mischief. “And if Josh’s current girlfriend doesn’t work out, I know just who to introduce him to, but he’s going to have to get over his ex first.”
“His ex? What are you talking about?”
Looking incredulous, she asked, “Didn’t you see his body language when I asked about his previous marriage?” She shook her head. “He’s totally not over her!”
Carl frowned. “You deduced that from his body language?”
“Well, yeah! He looked like a kicked puppy.”
Carl, frowning and smiling at the same time, said, “You’re sure you don’t want a job with the agency?”
She rolled her eyes but grinned. “I’m going to have to meet this girlfriend of his and find out what the real story is.”
Josh drove to his hotel, went to his room and threw his briefcase on the bed. Standing motionless, he replayed in his mind all that transpired. Kelly kissing Carl ... one of the hardest things he ever had to witness. He had fought himself the entire time. Then, the alternate-reality confrontation with Kelly; it was like a bucket of ice water in the face. He still didn’t know what had happened but it was painfully real.
When Jesse told him his old life was gone, he understood ... but not really, not emotionally. Then when Meadows spoke of the missing man formation, it began to sink in. He was the missing man. His death became real, but even then, it was just him.
When he saw the wedding picture on Carl’s desk, he had run away from the thought, literally. Now he understood what Jesse meant and why he could never go back to his old life. He exhaled unsteadily as he said softly, “I’ve lost her....”
Running a hand through his hair, he slammed his fist on the desk, knocking the lamp off. He wanted to scream at Jesse. Rage against the mind-numbing unfairness, but he was exhausted, emotionally desiccated. His whole body sighed as he dropped into a chair.
Head in hands, he stared at nothing. When Elizabeth told him how her husband died, he knew she had no closure and felt sorry for her. He’d been oblivious to the fact that he had the exact same problem — the loss of his wife and now ... his child. His anger and indignation deflated into despair. He could never tell Kelly the truth, even if the world wasn’t hanging in the balance. She’d been through the grief and mourning. She had closure and pulled her life back together with a new husband. If somehow she believed him — he remembered her face in his alternate reality — it would rip her apart. It would be monumentally selfish and hurtful. He must, he would, remain silent. “Kelly,” he said with anguish. Then softer, “Caitlin....”
When he was a child, his dad told him men don’t cry. He cried until he slept.
25
LOGISTICS
Josh flew back to St. Louis the next day. Sitting in Meadows’ office with Smith, he told them about Musk and Bobinski.
Meadows looked skeptical. “Elton Musk is too much of a public figure. He’ll draw the media like a lightning rod.”
Josh said, “Maybe, but Lopez is a celebrity too. Along with Musk’s engineering expertise and construction connections, Carl suggested we use him to ‘launder’ our program’s money through his company. That should provide some insulation.”
Smith nodded.
Meadows said, “That’s good, but I’m still uncomfortable having him around our team.”
Josh knew that without an official clearance, he couldn’t get Musk into the building, much less into their meetings. “You’re right. We wouldn’t have him attend any of our regular meetings. The only place we’d see him would be in Antarctica, which would help support our cover story.”
Meadows smiled, nodding. “Probably not a lot of paparazzi there. I assume you’re taking care of his clearance and how to route the money through him?”
“Yes sir.”
Meadows asked Smith, “What about Bobinski?”
Smith said, “We’ve checked him out. It wasn’t hard. He’s a colorful character but appears to be the best in his field.”
Meadows asked, “Is he a security risk?”
Briefly looking at Josh, Smith said, “We’re all security risks. It just requires the right situation or leverage. Bobinski was a born entrepreneur and became a naturalized U.S. citizen during the Soviet days to escape the communist regime. He still loves his former country and spends a lot of time there. He also has some connections with Russian organized crime.”
Meadows said what Josh was thinking, “So, he is a risk?”
Smith said, “This may sound strange, but it’s the people who don’t believe in something that worry us. What we’re doing will save both the U.S. and Russia. I don’t see any conflict of interest.”
Meadows asked, “What about his connections with the Russian mob?”
Smith said, “It would be surprising if he didn’t. When the Soviet Union collapsed, it was like the U.S. during prohibition. To get anything done, you had to work with the shadier elements. Since then, the Russian government has clamped down considerably, but organized crime is still an economic reality in some areas.”
Meadows said, “So what are you saying?”
“Bobinski is tough and doesn’t suffer fools patiently, but he has character and even those who don’t like him, respect him. He’s already a multi-millionaire, so he doesn’t need the job. He has no obvious vices aside from a love of a good party and Russian women, and he really doesn’t care what other people think of him.”
Meadows smiled. “I like him already.”
Smith continued, “In other words, he’s not a good blackmail target. We also discovered that he once worked on a U.S. government project that required a basic security clearance. It shouldn’t be too hard to update it to a higher level. Carl can help expedite that.”
Josh finally asked, “Would you trust him?”
“Yes.” Looking down, Smith added softly, “But I’ve been wrong before.”
Elizabeth hadn’t seen or heard from Josh since he left for New York two weeks ago. Coming home from work, she was surprised to find a letter from him. She opened it quickly. Inside was a check for $15,000, and a note. “Here’s the $5,000 you loaned me plus interest and reimbursement for the airline miles. Thank you! I couldn’t have done it
without you. Josh”
She sat down and said quietly to Toto. “That’s it? Thanks for everything?” With a funding source, he didn’t need her help. She had thought — or maybe just hoped — there was more between them. Part of her was hurt and angry with Josh. Still another part was angry with herself for being angry. She knew what was at stake. Her feelings were irrelevant. With a half-smile, she shook her head and asked the dog, “What kind of idiot dates a prophet?” She sighed as she dropped the letter in the trash.
Dr. Jackie Jones got Cho’s voicemail for the third time. She tried Cho’s deputy but got the same response. Finally, she called Conner, the young engineer who did the last program briefing.
Without preamble, she jumped in. “Conner, where the heck is Dr. Cho? We’ve got a major program status meeting for the National Reconnaissance Office coming up, and I’m looking at some serious schedule slips. He hasn’t returned my emails or calls in over a week.”
“Sorry, Dr. Jones, he’s been gone. He’s working on that other program, but I’m putting together the technical and schedule status for you.”
“What is this other program?”
“I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not read into it. All I know is that it’s very sensitive and he has half the lab involved, but no one’s talking.”
Jones bit down on her first response, forcing herself to acknowledge it wasn’t Conner’s fault. “When you talk to Dr. Cho, please have him call me as soon as possible.”
“Yes ma’am. Would you like to see the charts I’m putting together?”
Jones sighed softly. “Sure, Conner. That would be great.”
After she hung up, she called the president of Northrup Grumman.
It was the end of July, one of the hottest days of the year in St. Louis. Insulated from the sweltering heat and humidity, there were almost two dozen people in the cool conference room, all wearing special program badges. Josh smiled. The project codename was “Resurrect.” He shouldn’t have named it that, but the participants probably assumed it was resurrection of the old Strategic Defense Initiative’s technology.
Impact (Fuzed Trilogy Book 1) Page 15
