Chase grabs me and gives me a kiss so good I want to say fuck being careful so I can fuck him. I leave before I crumble, shaking myself as I walk out the door. I go to the pharmacy first, which is located downtown on the same street The Book Bag is on. I park in between, planning on going in and saying hi to Mrs. Williams and thanking her a million more times for giving me almost a whole week off so I could be with Chase.
With fewer than three thousand people in Summer Hill, it’s expected to run into someone you know no matter where you go.
I smile at Mrs. Matthews, my fifth-grade schoolteacher.
“Oh, Sierra,” she starts, looking startled. “Hello, dear. How are you?”
“I’m pretty good,” I reply, happy that I can say that now and be totally honest.
“Are you sure?” She looks around then leans in. “Judy’s very concerned about you.”
Judy? I blink, mind racing as I try to process what the hell Mrs. Matthews is talking about. Son of a bitch. Judy Henson is Josh’s mother, and she works at the school with Mrs. Matthews.
“Yes, I’m sure. And you can tell Judy she has nothing to worry about. Chase and I are happy together.”
“She says he’s nothing but trouble. And after what he did to Josh—” Mrs. Matthews cuts off with a huff. Her blonde hair is curled and teased several inches above her head.
“What did he supposedly do to Josh?” I cross my arms, feeling the angry Southern woman in me start to come out.
“He up and left him to work the bar after his twins were born.”
I imagine myself stomping my foot and yelling about what a fucking liar Judy is. Instead, I keep my cool, narrowing my eyes every so slightly. “Chase has been in the hospital the last week. He had surgery, and we just got back today. I’m here to drop off prescriptions for him. He actually wants to get back to the bar tomorrow but Josh won’t let him.” I shake my head, fighting the urge to break things.
“You can’t believe everything you read on the internet, and you can’t take all gossip as the truth,” I say and storm away. I’m never catty, but right now, I’m pissed. I pull Chase’s insurance card and prescriptions from my purse and give them to the pharmacist, more thankful than ever for HIPPA. At least she won’t get into personal details with anyone else.
Still seething, I head for my car instead of The Book Bag. Mrs. Williams is going into the store just as I cross the street, and she catches my eye and waves. Now I have to go in, and I internally grumble the entire way. As soon as I step foot inside, all my negative emotions melt away. The scent of ink and paper, the familiar rows of books…even the creaking of the floorboards beneath my feet is comforting. I pause in the threshold and inhale, feeling loads better in just seconds.
“Sierra, dear,” Mrs. Williams says warmly. “How are you, darling?”
“I’m good,” I tell her. “Tired, that’s for sure, but glad to be home. How are you? And the store.”
“We’re both the same: old but still standing.”
“I’ll be in tomorrow morning.”
Mrs. Williams waves her hand in the air. “Take another day. Spend time taking care of that handsome man of yours.”
“You know you’re probably the only person in the town besides Josh Henson who hasn’t told me to stay away from Chase.”
“Why would I?”
“You haven’t heard the rumors about him?”
“Oh, I have. Let me ask you this: do you feel you should stay away?”
“No,” I say with no hesitation. “And if people got to know him, they’d know he’s one of the good guys, which are hard to find nowadays, I hear.” I sigh. “Chase might be a bit complicated, but he’s not dangerous. He loves me. He’d never hurt me.”
“There’s a thrill to loving a complicated man. Thrill…and danger. And that danger can be just as addictive.” Mrs. Williams smiles. “I know because I loved one too. The world has a never-ending supply of opinions and advice on what you should do. Don’t listen to them. We’re all complicated in the end.”
“We are.”
“Now, go on and get out of here,” she orders, eyes twinkling. “That handsome man is waiting for you.”
Chapter 26
Chase
The book in Sierra’s hand slips from her grasp and onto the bed. Her head is to the side, and her eyes are closed. Careful not to wake her, I move the book aside and pull the blanket up to her shoulder. I’ve been home from the hospital for two days now and am feeling a whole fucking lot better. Being confined to the house is starting to get to me though, and I’m actually looking forward to going back to work.
Jax filled in for me a few nights since I got sick, enabling Josh to go home after opening, which makes me not feel as shitty. The whole reason I said I’d stay here was to help him run the bar after his twins were born, and literally days after they make their arrival, I’m out of commission. Though I won’t be for long since I don’t plan on listening to the doctor’s recommendations on when to return to normal activity.
Having sex is number one on my list, but so far Sierra has been serious about following the doctor’s orders. It won’t take long before she caves though. I know she wants it just as much as I do. I was hoping to try to break her walls tonight and have her give me a very thorough checkup, but she fell asleep just minutes of opening her book once we were in bed. She’s still catching up on the sleep she lost last week, and she has to work in the morning.
I put an arm around her and kiss the back of her neck. Having laid around doing nothing all day, I’m not tired. It’s only ten o’clock, hours before my normal bedtime. I hold onto Sierra a bit longer then sit up, getting a book from the nightstand.
I think back to the day I rolled into Summer Hill for my father’s funeral. If someone had told me this is the way things would unfold, I’d laugh right in their face.
In bed by ten, reading to help myself fall asleep. Next to the most beautiful woman in the world.
It’s the last thing I thought would happen. And sometimes the least expected things are the most needed.
“Babe, your alarm is going off.”
“One more minute?” Sierra grumbles.
“You already hit the snooze. Twice.” I reach over and get her phone from the nightstand. It’s nine o’clock, and Sierra slept for almost twelve hours. I don’t know how she’s still so tired. Hopefully she’s not coming down with something.
With a groan, she gets out of bed and starts getting dressed. She still looks rundown when she comes into the kitchen.
“Thanks,” she says, taking the mug of coffee I made her. “What are you gonna do today?” She sips her coffee and starts looking for something for breakfast. I’ve noticed Sierra tends to follow her habits, and in the morning, she goes straight for yogurt and granola and some sort of fruit. She moves the bananas aside and goes for cookies instead.
“I’m going to my place. Not to work,” I add. “But to make sure Jax hasn’t burned the place down.”
“I thought you weren’t supposed to drive yet.”
“I’m not, and I won’t be. Jax has my car.”
“Right. I forgot about that. Can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“How did you and Jax meet?”
“We worked together,” I tell her.
“You have a degree in psychology, right?”
I shake my head.
“But you said you went to the University of Chicago.”
“I did,” I explain. “And I did study psych. But I left before I graduated.”
Sierra finishes her cookie and takes another drink of coffee. “Smooth with your wording.”
“That’s just how I am, baby.”
She laughs and takes another drink of coffee. “Why did you leave?”
“It’s a long story,” I say softly. “And you’re already running late.”
“I am? Shit. I didn’t feed the cats yet.”
“I’ll get it. I’m slowly trying to win them over anyway.”
Sierra chuckles. “I think you already are.”
“Whoever said no news is good news is a fucking cunt,” Jax huffs, pacing in front of the large window that overlooks the river. “I knew Mason was a useless twat. Fucking unreliable piece of shit.”
I sit back, waiting for Jax to end his rant. This is what he does when he’s pissed, and it’s best to stay out of his way and let the obscenities flow. Though this time, I want to join in with him.
“I said I wanted to stay out of it. Keep my hands clean.” Jax balls his fingers into fists. He whips around to face me. “Once you’re healed and your guts won’t spill out, I say we get out of here and get there first. Beat them at their own game. I can get the paperwork by then too. Show everyone what fucking loser cocksuckers they are.”
There was a time in my life, not long ago in fact, that I would have jumped at the chance to right a wrong and to bring not just one, but two, assholes to justice. I jumped because it didn’t matter where I landed or if I stuck the landing. I had nothing. No one. I lived my life for me, and it wasn’t until I met Sierra that I realized how fucking lonely I was.
“I think I’m done with that shit,” I tell him.
Jax falls silent. He blinks, slowly shaking his head. “So you’re going to stay here and fucking bartend the rest of your life?”
“Maybe. I don’t know, but I’m not leaving Sierra.”
“You’re in love with her.”
“I am,” I admit right away.
Jax looks out the window, and I expect him to let out another string of swear words. Instead he smiles. “I never thought I’d see the day when Chase fucking Henson is pussy-whipped this hard.”
“It’s good pussy.”
“Jesus fuck, man. I’m happy for you. She’s a good woman.”
“She is.” I press my hand to my stomach, putting a bit of pressure on the incision site when I sit. If I’d gone to the hospital earlier, the surgery would have been simpler with less healing time. Screw up and learn shit, right? Next time I’m sick, I’ll listen to Sierra from the start. “Are you leaving then?”
“Yeah. I’ll get ahold of Mason and start the paper trail. I’ll be out of here in a few days.”
Jax and I have parted ways many times over the years. It was never more than a ‘see ya later’ because we’d always meet up for another job in a matter of time. This time is different. I’m not going to take another job with him. I’m done with that shit, and while a big part of me is relieved, it’s affecting me more than I thought it would knowing we might never see each other again.
“You better invite me to your wedding,” Jax heckles as if he can read my fucking mind.
“You’d be the best man.”
Jax grins. “That means I can plan a bachelor party in Vegas.”
“Definitely.”
“Don’t forget you have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow,” Sierra tells me that night during dinner. I tried cooking for her for the first time, and things turned out halfway decent. Granted, it’s just spaghetti, and the meatballs were frozen and only had to be heated in the oven. But the sauce is homemade. Kind of. I used canned tomatoes instead of fresh because that’s all Sierra had.
“I remember, and I don’t need to go. I make it one more week and I’m in the clear to do whatever I want again. Besides working out.” Sierra gives me a glare. “Fine. I’ll go.”
“I have the afternoon off so I can go with you.”
“You don’t have to. It’s far and it’ll be boring.”
Sierra twirls noodles around on her fork. “I’m kind of using it as an excuse to get Panda Express. I’ve been craving it bad since I had it like daily when you were in the hospital.”
“Then I don’t feel bad dragging you along.”
“I’m going to dream about orange chicken tonight.”
“Sounds erotic.”
“Oh, it will be. If you hear me moaning in my sleep, I’m dreaming about eating. And speaking of eating, dinner is really good. Is there parsley in the sauce?”
“There might be. I added it by accident and tried to scoop it all out. You can taste it?”
Sierra shakes her head. “I can smell it. It’s good though, don’t worry.”
“I don’t even know what parsley smells like. You must have an incredibly good sense of smell.”
“I guess so. That’s such a lame superpower to have.”
“Unless you use it to find dead bodies.”
Sierra makes a face, and then considers it. “I bet I’d get my own show on the Discovery Channel.”
I laugh. “I bet you would.”
We talk the rest of dinner, and she tells me about the new books that came into the shop. My mind keeps going back to Jax and how he’s going more or less solo on a job that has a high risk. Am I a shitty friend? Going with him would make me a shitty boyfriend, that’s for sure.
Sierra and I clean the kitchen together, then go onto the screened-in porch and relax in the hammock. I’ve never been in a long-term relationship like this. I never stayed anywhere long enough to even give it a go. Sierra and I joke about being one of those couples that stop having sex, falling into the stereotype of a boring, married couple. Sierra’s insists on waiting at least until tomorrow to see what the doctor says, not wanting me to get hurt. But all it takes is one kiss to get her hot and bothered enough to throw caution to the wind.
Still, she won’t have sex with me. Instead, she pleasures herself while I watch and then she gives me a blow job. If this is what it takes to get through the next week or so of no sex, I think I’ll make it.
“Oh my God,” Sierra sighs. “This is so fucking good.”
I shake my head, smiling. “It’s all right.”
Sierra stabs a piece of orange chicken with her fork and holds it up. “It’s better than all right. I could eat this all day, every day.”
“Speaking of doing something every day…” I look across the table and wiggle my eyebrows. “The doctor did say he’s impressed with how fast I’m healing.”
“I have been horny all day,” Sierra whispers with a devilish smile. “I might just let you. But you have to lay there and let me do all the work.”
“I don’t know, Sierra, that sounds pretty terrible.”
“I know, right? How will you survive?”
“It’s going to be a torturous next week.”
“Or two.”
We finish our food and hit the road. I offer to drive home since Sierra drove me here, again with the strict following of the doctor’s orders, and am surprised when she says yes. She’s tired again and dozes off by the time we get back to her place.
“Maybe you should see a doctor,” I tell her when we walk into her house. The scent of lemongrass fills the air, welcoming me home.
Because that’s exactly what this feels like.
“I’m just tired,” she says. “I don’t feel sick or anything.” The cats come running, rubbing on Sierra’s legs. She scoops up Tinkerbell and goes into the kitchen to feed them a can of food. “I know we just ate but I’m already craving more fried rice,” she says with a laugh, but the humor dies really fast and she pales.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I just realized something. I, uh…” She trails off, eyes going to the floor.
“Sierra?” I reach for her, feeling alarmed by the horror on her face.
“I canceled my OB appointment when you were in the hospital. I haven’t had my period in a long time. I’ve been craving fried rice for days and can’t seem to catch up on sleep. I’ve been having cramps all week and I keep thinking it’s going to start, but it hasn’t.”
Holy.
Fuck.
She looks up, face mirroring the same trepidation that’s on mine.
“There’s only one way to know for sure. Let’s go get a test.”
“Yeah. It might be nothing. Just PMS.”
“Right. Want to go now?”
“Yeah. I have to pee anyway.”
�
��Good thing the drugstore isn’t far.”
Sierra nods then quickly shakes her head. “I can’t go there! People will see me buying a pregnancy test and you know how this town talks!”
“I’ll get it for you.”
She cocks an eyebrow. “They’ll still know it’s for me.” She puts her hand to my mouth, eyes wide. “I’ll order from Amazon and pay for next-day shipping.”
“You can wait a full day without knowing?” I ask. I can’t. Not at fucking all.
“You’re right. It’s killing me now.”
“Isn’t there a Wal-Mart on the outskirts of town?”
“Yeah, there is.”
“They have self-checkout.”
Sierra lets out a nervous laugh. “You’re a genius. Let’s go. But we have to be sneaky with how we grab it. Let me make sure no one I know sees.”
“I’ll use my ninja skills.”
“Right. Just slip it in your pocket or something.”
Sierra grabs her purse, fingers trembling. We keep making lame jokes the whole way to the store, trying to deflect the we’re fucked vibe we’re both feeling at the moment. Silence falls over us when we get to the store. Sierra gets a basket and fills it with random things. I go down the aisle with the pregnancy test for her only to come back a second later.
“There are a million different types,” I inform her. “What kind do you want?”
She shakes her head. “I have no idea. What’s that one in the commercial?”
“I need more to go on than that.”
“I…I don’t know.”
“It’s okay. I’ll just grab one.”
She nods, nervously pulling on her necklace and paces up and down the vitamins on the opposite side of the aisle. I add a pregnancy test to the basket and we make a beeline for the checkout.
And then we run into the last person I want to fucking see: Judy Henson.
Chapter 27
Sierra
“Oh, hello, Sierra,” Mrs. Henson says, stopping short, holding onto an empty shopping cart. Her eyes linger over Chase, resentment obvious on her face. Then she looks back at me and for a second I think she’s going to pretend he’s not there. Chase told me she’s done that before when he’s around. Panic flashes through me and I look down at the basket I have clutched in my sweaty hand. I hid the test under a plaid shirt I grabbed off the clearance rack as we walked by. It’s a 3XL, but I doubt she can notice that from where she’s standing.
Love Me Like I Love You Page 81
