She could stay like this all night, she thought. How she’d missed feeling this.
That thought brought her up short. Thoughts of Tom invaded her mind. The guilt that she’d never quite loved Tom as much as she’d loved Andrew. She’d enjoyed Tom’s embraces, but she’d never felt the way she felt right at this moment. Safe, secure—home.
Dawn moved her arms from Andrew’s back to his chest, feeling the steely power of the muscles beneath the crisp cotton of his work shirt. Her fingers scrunched the material, the temptation to slip a couple of buttons free to feel the warmth of his chest strong.
A phone ringing finally penetrated her and she summoned the wherewithal to push against him and take a few steps back.
“What was that for?” she asked, breathless as if she’d run a half marathon and not been standing still for the last few minutes.
“You looked liked you could do with a hug,” Andrew said as if it was the most normal thing in the world to hug a woman you hadn’t seen in ten years.
Dawn ran her hands down her scrub trousers, brushing away nonexistent dirt. She had to keep her hands busy to stop them from reaching out and grabbing Andrew’s arms and encouraging him to hold her again. But she couldn’t let herself get close to him. He’d broken her heart once. In all likelihood he would break it once again. He may be back in Perth but there was no way he’d stay. Sooner or later some other adventure would pop up and he’d jump at the chance to risk his life. Pitting himself against the elements.
She went on the defensive to protect herself. “Well, the next time the urge hits you to hug me, try and control it.” Dawn looked at her watch and saw that there were still three hours left on her shift. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a lot to do and I won’t get it done hanging out in the hallway with you.”
Dawn turned to go, when a hand gripped her wrist lightly, preventing her from moving. She didn’t think she could anyway. His one simple touch on her wrist had sent electric shocks pumping through her legs, almost causing them to turn to noodles. That would look great, her collapsing in the ER.
“What time do you finish?” he asked softly, his fingers dancing along her wrist in a tempting waltz.
“Why do you want to know?”
“I wanted to see if you’d like to have a coffee with me.”
Dawn closed her eyes and raised her head to the ceiling, counting to ten before summoning the required strength the pull her hand from his hold and face him. “I believe we had this discussion before. I don’t do coffee after my shift.”
“What about your day off? I’ve got the next four off—even if last night was your first in your night shift rotation, there has to be one day we could catch up. Or when you have days, maybe we can catch up in the evening.”
For the first time since she’d decided she would work the night shift for the foreseeable future, she found herself wavering. Wondering what it would be like to catch up with someone away from work. Most of her friends she’d had worked during the day, not that she saw them much anymore. She’d cut herself off from the world the moment Tom and Brody had died. A decision she’d been more than happy with. Just because Andrew was wanting to see her was no reason for her to reconsider the choices she’d made. It was safer to live her life the way she’d been doing for the last two years. She’d made her decision and her decision was not to get involved again.
“I don’t work day shifts.”
She could see the confusion clouding Andrew’s eyes. It was a look she was used to seeing whenever she told someone she worked the night shift all the time. She braced herself for the usual “What are you, a vampire?” joke to be uttered from his mouth.
“What do you mean you don’t work day shifts?”
Dawn really didn’t want to get into the reasoning for her career choices with Andrew, not tonight. Not ever.
“I only work nights, and before you make some smart ass crack about wondering if I’m a glowing vampire or some other paranormal creature, I made the choice to work nights.”
She shut her mouth quickly before she revealed the real reason to him. Andrew didn’t need to know. All he needed to know was that coffee or drinks or anything else was out of the question.
“That’s a pretty big decision to make, to shut yourself off from everyone. Especially seeing as you’re not even thirty.”
Dawn inhaled, as if she’d been hit in the stomach. His words weren’t ones she hadn’t heard before. But because he’d known how much she’d loved life and loved to be involved with various activities, they way he said it held a bit of censure.
“I like my life just the way it is.”
He seemed to consider what she’d said, like he was weighing up whether it was true or not. Whether there was any validity to it all. As if reaching a decision, he gave a small nod.
“Fair enough, you can chose to live your life any which way you want. But I’d still like to catch up with you—sometime soon.”
Whew, she’d dodged a bullet. But she needed to squash any thoughts or hopes Andrew might be having that she’d be up for a casual fling with him.
“While I appreciate the invitation, the answer is still no.” She looked him in the eyes, reinforcing her words with an unwavering gaze. “It’s been nice to see you, but I’m not going to pick up where we left off. I’m not going to be your convenience while you cool your heels until the next adventure you can’t say no to pops up. So thanks, but no thanks all the same.”
“I only asked you for a coffee, Dawn, not to move in with me. But I do know a hint when I see it.” He sent a devilish look her way. His eyes sparkled and the grin he laid on her could charm the fur off a lion. She should know the danger of that smile; he’d used it on her on many previous occasions. It always spelled trouble and she suspected she wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. “We’ve got a history and I know you. I know how you used to live. Which means, I’m not going to give up on trying to change your mind. See ya around, Dawn.”
With a quick touch to her cheek that left a trail of heat winding its way through her body, he walked away, leaving her speechless.
3
Dawn pushed the half eaten sandwich away, wishing she’d remembered to bring in the meal she’d prepared. Then she wouldn’t be stuck eating the pieces of cardboard the cafeteria jokingly labeled “Ham and salad sandwich.” She drank down the rest of her soda, hoping the sweet taste of the lemon and lime drink would wash away the lingering bad taste.
“Hey, Dawn, how are you?”
She didn’t know if it was surprise or the casual way in which the voice sounded behind her, but she found herself choking on her drink. A couple of slaps on the back stopped the coughing but her eyes were tearing up. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she looked up and her eyes connected with the amused ones owned by the person she hadn’t seen in a week.
Andrew.
The delusional part of her had hoped he’d taken the hint and was going to leave her alone. The practical, smarter part of her said the only reason she hadn’t seen him was because he was probably doing a rotation of days off or day shifts.
“Don’t you know it’s dangerous to sneak up on a person when they don’t expect it and when they’re drinking?”
“I couldn’t see that you were drinking, sorry.”
Dawn laughed at the contrite look he sent her way. It felt good to laugh at something spontaneous and random.
“That’s okay.” Dawn picked up her can and took another sip, never taking her eyes off Andrew. It was the first time she’d truly looked at him since he’d careened back into her life. Considering all the time he must have spent in the sun while sailing numerous times around the world, his skin didn’t have that weathered sunburned look. There were faint lines around his eyes, suggesting he’d squinted against the sun. His nose was still straight and his lips… well, his lips were full and plump and the urge to taste them again was strong.
Dawn sat a little straighter in her chair. Where had that thought come fr
om? Maybe she was more tired than she thought she was. Tonight was the first in her new night rotation; she was usually full of energy. But then again, the man in front of her had invaded her dreams over the last few days, making her sleep more broken than it usually was. Also his coffee invitations had been going around and around in her mind. She’d been hit with the “what ifs” again. She wondered if he’d ask her again. What would her answer be if he did?
“You’re thinking very hard there, anything exciting?” he asked with a smile as he pulled out a chair and sat opposite her.
There was no way she was going to tell him what she’d been thinking. He would take it the totally wrong way.
“Nothing too exciting, let me assure you.” Dawn flicked the ring pull while gripping the can tightly, as if it was a handrail on a rope bridge. “So why are you here? And where’s your partner?”
It seemed strange to Dawn that he was relaxing in the chair as if he had no care in the world. If he’d been here with an emergency, there was no way his partner would let him wander off for endless minutes.
“I finished my shift and thought I’d come and say hi.”
“Why?”
“Well…” He leaned forward and Dawn relinquished her hold on the can and sat back as far as she could in her chair. Even with the expanse of the table, she could still feel his magnetism pulling her into his orbit. “I wanted to see you. Is that a crime?”
“No, but how did you know I was working tonight and where to find me?” The desire to reach out and touch her hand to his was so out of character for her. She’d closed herself off from all emotions, from feeling anything towards any other person for the last two years. Yet within the space of seeing Andrew again, she was reconsidering her actions. It would be the worst thing she could do. Let herself care for another person. She’d already survived one broken heart courtesy of Andrew. She’d barely survived the loss of both Tom and Brody. She had to remember those feelings. That time of total devastation when thoughts so dark had entered her mind.
“You’re thinking hard again.”
“And you’re not answering my question. How did you know where to find me?”
“I know you’ve had a tough time the last couple of years, but why make such a big deal about me coming and saying hi. I thought we could be friends.” He stood and placed his hands on the table. “But if it’s such a problem I’ll go and not bother coming back. Enjoy your lonely life.”
Dawn sucked in a breath as he walked away from her. His words were cruel, but deep down she knew they were true. She couldn’t help being defensive around him. His presence brought back so many memories. Memories she didn’t want to face.
She got up and raced after him. “Wait, Andrew. Stop.”
She reached his side and touched his arm. “Please, I’m sorry. I don’t know what it is. Seeing you is, I don’t know, difficult.”
* * *
If he were sensible, he’d walk away. He didn’t need the stress of trying so hard to connect with Dawn. But the moment he walked into the ER that first time, he knew his past was being shoved in his face for a reason. He knew he’d done wrong by her when he’d walked out all those years ago. His guilt had kept him company for the first six months he was sailing around the world, pitting himself against the elements. He’d always been the one to put himself in danger, as if by doing that he would be forgiven for walking out on the woman who’d given so much of herself to him.
But he understood what she meant when she’d said it was difficult to see him. He deserved her anger.
“I know, and I’m not helping, always pushing myself into your orbit when you’ve made it clear that you don’t want me there.” Andrew gave into the desires that had been filling him since the moment he’d seen her again. He reached out and ran his fingers down her cheek. “But I find I can’t help myself. I want to talk to you, see you.”
It took everything in him not to move a little closer and kiss her. He had no right to do that. She’d made her wishes clear. As she closed her eyes, he wondered what was going through her mind right at that moment.
“Drew.” She whispered the word and it shot straight to his heart. She’d only ever called him that when they had been in the throes of passion, sharing something he hadn’t found in another woman’s arms. He’d eventually stopped looking for that elusive feeling and started ignoring the flirtatious glances women sent his way. It had been a long time since he’d let himself give in to his basic needs. Needs that were screaming to be answered now that he had seen Dawn again. “Please don’t say those things to me. I can’t give you what you think you want from me. I don’t even know why you want them from me.”
A scraping of a chair was all it took to bring the sounds of the noisy cafeteria back into his conscious hearing. From the moment she’d touched his arm, his focus had solely been on Dawn. Any thought of where their conversation was taking place was pushed from his mind.
He took a step back from Dawn and looked around the room. He could see that they were the object of interest from the patrons of the cafeteria. He groaned out loud. This was probably the last thing she wanted. To be the focus of gossip.
“I want a chance to talk, without interruption. Without it being down in the ER. Without it being in the middle of the cafeteria.”
The mention of the word cafeteria had the color leeching from Dawn’s face. Clearly she had forgotten where they were too. He watched as she shook her head, dislodging some silky tendrils from her pulled back hairstyle. He stuck his hands in his pockets as the temptation to run those silky strands through his fingers was strong. He remembered when they were dating how he used to twist his fingers through her hair, creating soft curls that fell the moment he loosened his fingers.
“You’re right, this isn’t the place to talk. In fact, this isn’t the place for what just happened between us.” She looked him square in the face, her eyes sparking green fire at him. “I get off at seven tomorrow morning. If you’re not working, meet me out the front and we can go for that coffee you’ve bugged me for.”
She didn’t wait for a response, just turned on her heel and left. A smile broke out over Andrew’s face. Finally, he was going to get to spend some time with her. He knew it would only be a short time, but it was a start. He didn’t know why she’d changed her mind so abruptly from no to yes, but he was going to take whatever he could get from her. He was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
* * *
Finally, she was free. Dawn had felt she’d been in the ER for twenty-four hours, not twelve. The shift had dragged. They’d been busy, so she’d thought that would’ve made the time fly by. Instead she had constantly watched the clock, willing the hands to move faster than they were.
She went into the staff room, relieved that she was the only one in there, and opened her locker. She looked into the mirror taped on the inside of the door. She gave the reflection a half smile. It was ridiculous to be doing this. She’d never worried about her appearance after a shift, why should she worry now?
Because you’re meeting Andrew. What a mistake that is going to be.
She shoved that voice to the back of her mind. That was the same voice that had told her on numerous occasions that her life was over. It wasn’t a good voice to believe in.
She returned her attention to her hair. It was mussed but not overly so—it would pass. She couldn’t do much about the bags under eyes. But did it really matter? Andrew knew she was finishing up a night shift. He’d just have to deal with it.
Reaching into the locker she pulled out the lip gloss she had buried at the back and swiped some over her lips. Satisfied with how she looked, she grabbed her bag and shut the door.
“Hey, Dawn.”
Dawn turned at the sound of the voice behind her. She had wanted to escape before anyone arrived. But it was Phoebe, and Dawn knew she wouldn’t give her too much of a hard time.
“Hey yourself, Phoebe. How are you?” Dawn looked at the other girl and noticed her ey
es appeared strained, as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Can’t complain, no one listens anyway.” Phoebe paused and looked at her. “Where are you going?” she eventually asked.
“Meeting a friend for coffee.” It was sort of the truth. Phoebe didn’t have to know that the friend was male and was a paramedic that had come into the ER a couple of times. Or this was the first time in forever that she was going to meet someone after her shift.
“Uh huh. Well have a good time.”
“Thanks, and have a good shift.” Dawn made her escape, glad that Phoebe seemed distracted and hadn’t pressed her for more information about who she was meeting.
Dawn hurried down the hallway and to the staff exit that would lead her to the side of the ambulance bay. She’d told Andrew she’d meet him out front but hadn’t given an exact location. She hadn’t thought about it. She’d surprised herself when she told him she’d meet him after her shift. It had been the last thing on her mind. She’d wanted to snatch the words back the moment she said them, but it was too late. To be honest, part of her did want to meet with him. She hoped he wasn’t waiting at the front desk. He wouldn’t be that obvious, would he?
She was making her way to the front of the ambulance bay when she saw him walking towards her. She stopped in her tracks—even from a distance he commanded attention with his sure-footed stride.
Taking a deep breath, Dawn continued to walk towards him. When she got to within a couple of feet of him, she stopped again and waited to see if he would come into her personal space or stop where he was. He took that one step closer and she had to fight the urge to close the distance and lay her head on his chest. Let his arms hold her, like they had done so many times before.
Rescuing Dawn: Lovers Unmasked: Book 2 Page 3
