“You’re suffering from shock, ma’am, I won’t let you walk away.” The fireman took hold of her again and led to one of the waiting ambulances.
“Dawn, are you okay?”
She looked at the new voice that had entered the conversation. She saw that it was Riggs, Andrew’s partner. The tears she had tried to keep at bay burst forth. Between heaving sobs she uttered one word. “Andrew.”
Strong arms held her until she calmed herself down. She hated losing control, so she pulled herself together after a couple of minutes. “You have to help Andrew.” She waved her arm toward the accident, still not able to look to see if Andrew was alive or not. “He’s over there somewhere.”
“Dawn, look at me.” The voice was gentle and she looked up into the caring face of Riggs. His brown eyes held compassion and understanding. “Let me attend to you and then I’ll find out what I can about Andrew. It doesn’t look too bad.”
Slowly the sounds of shouting and machinery being started up forced its way into her consciousness. A rush of adrenaline like nothing she’d ever known before sizzled through her veins. It was like she’d been given an electric shock. Her body buzzed. Her mind exploded with the need to see him for herself. The fear that had had her in its possession a few minutes ago had been replaced with the need to get as far away from the scene as possible.
“I have to see if he’s okay and if he is, I have to leave. I can’t stay. “
She pulled away from Riggs’s hold and was moving once again towards the accident scene. The fireman had chocked the car up so that the threat of the vehicle sliding down the hill was over. Two paramedics were bent over a man on the ground and she knew that it was Andrew.
From her safe distance, she could see that he was moving his arm but his left leg was still caught under the streetlight. As if sensing her gaze, he turned and they locked eyes. Caught in a spell where it was only them, she slowly walked a little closer. His face had small cuts on it from the glass. He sent her a small smile but she didn’t answer it with one of her own.
She stopped about ten feet from him, their gazes still locked on one another. Her heart was screaming at her to rush to his side, but her mind was telling her that listening to her heart had got her into trouble again. Andrew might be okay this time, but what about next time when he ignored her pleas to not do something dangerous? What if next time, he wasn’t so lucky and got seriously hurt or, worse, died?
Her mind was lecturing her on keeping her heart closed off for her safety. So what if she ended up dying alone? At least she wouldn’t have the fear of worrying about the person she loved putting their life continually in potentially life threatening situations.
“Dawn?” Andrew called out to her. A thousand requests in just saying her name. Dawn, come here. Dawn, I’m sorry. Dawn, please come hold my hand.
“I can’t.”
She closed her eyes, severing their connection. When she opened them again, she made sure she was looking at the team about to lift the light pole, releasing Andrew. Within a matter of seconds, the pole had been lifted and Andrew had a backboard placed under him before he was lifted onto a gurney and then put into the back of the awaiting ambulance.
“Do you want to ride in the back with him?” Riggs was back at her side.
“No,” she said. “I just want to go home.”
“I’ll get a patrol car to take you home; you’re in no state to drive.”
Riggs was gone before she had time to comprehend what he’d said. She watched as he walked over to the ambulance and spoke to Andrew. He gave one nod and then the doors closed.
The breath she was holding whooshed out. The closing of the door was the closing of her heart. No more would she allow anyone inside of it.
14
“Just put the damn plaster on and discharge me,” Andrew demanded of the ER doctor. “You told me yourself it was a straight-forward break, no surgery necessary.”
“We need to keep you overnight to make sure there are no other effects from your accident,” the doctor argued, clearly frustrated. But Andrew didn’t care; all he cared about was going to see Dawn. The look on her face as Riggs closed the ambulance door was the same look he’d seen before. The look where her whole life was over and she had nothing to live for.
But he wanted her to know she had everything to live for. As he was lying on the ground, trapped by the pole unable to go to her, to comfort her, to let her know he was all right, seeing her curled up on the ground, his heart had bled. Knowing that he had caused that look in her eye again shattered his heart. In that moment, he’d known that nothing mattered more than Dawn and his love for her.
He’d been so stupid thinking he could help the victims of the car. He hadn’t even assessed the situation. He’d raced in without thinking, wanting to be a hero. Wanting to be someone Dawn could be proud of. In the end, all he’d done was cause them both nothing but heartache.
He had to see her. He had to tell her that he loved her. He had to tell her she was his world and that nothing, absolutely nothing, was more important to him than her. Not even surfing six-foot waves in a hell swell. Even going rock climbing or trying to rescue hurt people meant nothing if Dawn wasn’t in his life.
He wanted to marry her.
He wanted to have children with her.
He wanted her full stop.
“Are you refusing to heed your doctor’s orders?” A slightly accented voice spoke, breaking into his thoughts.
Andrew looked up and saw Alex, the registrar of the ER, standing by his bedside. He couldn’t believe the other doctor had ratted on him.
“I just want the plaster put on and then be discharged. I need to get out of here.”
“Because of Dawn?”
He was surprised at Alex’s insight. “If I say yes, will that get me out sooner?”
Alex laughed. “As much as I know what it’s like to mess up a relationship, your health is more important.” Andrew went to protest but Alex held up his hand. “But from what I’ve seen from the x-rays and tests we’ve run, we’ll only need to keep you in for a few hours observation and then we can discharge you.”
“It will still be too late; I need to see Dawn now.”
“Andrew,” Alex said in a voice Andrew figured he reserved for irritable patients. He knew he was being difficult, but the longer he left not seeing Dawn the worse it was going to be. “I know you want to see Dawn to make things right, but you can’t do it if you’re not one hundred percent healthy. I’m not going to discharge you until I know for sure that you will be fine.”
Andrew knew he’d lost the battle. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Now can I get this plaster cast on?”
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll arrange it,” Alex said as he made his way to leave the cubicle. Andrew was about to close his eyes when he saw Alex pause and turn to face him again. “Dawn’s a great girl who has seen a lot of tragedy. She means the world to all of us here.”
Andrew knew a warning when he heard it. He gave a nod of understanding and then a few seconds later he was by himself again. He glanced down at his leg, realizing that he’d been incredibly lucky. He’d almost left Dawn alone again.
Guilt, more powerful than the guilt he’d experienced after surviving his boating accident, hit him full force in the face. Hurting Dawn was the last thing he’d ever want to do. Her love meant so much to him and he would show her just how much. As soon as he got out of hospital.
* * *
Dawn curled up on her couch, a mug of hot chocolate in her hand. She hadn’t slept all night. She’d been too numb to even cry again. The only image that replayed in her mind was the moment the light pole had come crashing down on the car, trapping Andrew. She shuddered again at the memory.
There was no possible way she could face work, so she’d phoned the hospital to say she wouldn’t be in for her shift. It was the first time in too many years that she’d called in sick. Even after Tom had died, she’d only taken six weeks compassionate leave before she wa
s back working.
Seeing Andrew almost die had affected her more than she thought possible. Her heart ached at the thought of not seeing him again. But she would. She would see him when he dropped a patient off to the hospital. The first few times would hurt, but she would cope. Just as she would cope with not being in his arms again.
She hadn’t said the words, but by walking away she hoped he understood that she couldn’t see him anymore. It was kind of the coward’s way out; only it was the way she had to do it. She couldn’t speak to him again. Not at the moment. It was too soon.
The doorbell rang. She ignored it. The thought of being social with someone was the last thing she wanted. Besides, it was more than likely someone trying to sell her a new cell phone contract. No one ever came and saw her. She didn’t want to let her mind form the idea that it might be Andrew coming to see her. She wasn’t sure she could handle seeing him so soon after she’d made her mind up to finish their relationship.
The doorbell rang again, only this time it was followed by a pounding on the door.
She threw the blanket off and put her mug on the table. She took a deep breath and then made her way to the door. She let the air rush out of her a second before she turned the lock and opened the door.
Her eyes filled with the tears she hadn’t been able to shed at the sight in front of her. Andrew was leaning on crutches. Scratches and butterfly band-aids covered his face. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. His eyes held a desolation she’d never seen before but was sure was mirrored in her own eyes.
Dawn fought the urge to reach out and pull him into her embrace. As she’d sat on the couch during the night, she thought she’d buried her feelings for him. Now, seeing him standing before her, she knew that she had been fooling herself. She hadn’t stopped loving him ten years ago and she couldn’t stop loving him now.
“My Dawn, I’m so sorry,” he spoke in such a gravelly tone. So defeated and tired.
She knew they couldn’t have a conversation on her front doorstep so she stood to the side, giving him access to her house. “Come in.”
She waited until he was fully inside and making his way to her front sitting room before she closed the door. He was handling the crutches with the ease of someone who’d been using them for days, not just a few hours.
As much as her heart was telling her to forgive him and take him back, and even though she knew she would never stop loving him, her mind was telling her to be cautious. To tread carefully, because there would always be a time when he’d put his need for adventure above her needs.
“Can I get you something to drink?” she asked as she entered the room.
Andrew turned his gaze onto her—a little bit of hope burned in their depths. She had to wonder if he’d expected her to slam the door in his face.
“No, I’m fine.” He paused as if collecting his thoughts. “I need to talk to you. To explain.”
“There’s no need to explain. I was there, I saw what happened.” The anger from yesterday came back. “I told you to wait, but no, you just had to try and play the hero. Well, let me tell you something, Andrew Holmes. I don’t need a person that would willingly risk his life when help was only moments away.”
She stopped talking, her breath coming in fast, short bursts, but she felt better for having said the words.
“I deserve that, and more. What I did was stupid and I didn’t think rationally. I did think I could play the hero and that was wrong.” He looked over to her, the pain he was feeling evident in his every feature. “It was so wrong. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I caused you pain when it could’ve been avoided. I love you, Dawn. You mean the world to me.”
Her gaze flew to his, her heart beating out a rapid tattoo as his words sunk in. An incredible feeling of joy and happiness filled her. Something she’d thought she’d never feel again. But her mind was telling her to not rush into anything. He may be sorry now, but could he really suppress that part of him, that need to take risks, forever?
Dawn could see the surprise in his eyes as if he hadn’t expected the confession to come out of his mouth. But then she saw the smile start on his face. He struggled to his feet and hopped over to her. She instinctively grabbed his hips to steady him. His hands framed her face. “I love you, Dawn. I don’t want to lose you again. I let my need for adventure ruin our lives once before and I’m not doing it again.”
He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. It was over too soon. She wanted more. Before she could pull his head down, he twisted and turned until he sat on the lounge chair and she found herself on his strong thighs, his arms tightening around her.
“As I was lying on the ground and saw you curled up in a ball, I knew that I’d made the worst decision of my life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is more important to me than you. Can you find it in your heart to give me another chance? I know I probably don’t deserve it.”
Dawn picked randomly at the buttons on his shirt. She believed the words he was saying were the truth, that she was important to him. But part of her was still scared. Still worried that the next time they came across a situation that he would again race in without giving her any thought. She knew she loved him, but was the love strong enough to deal with another scenario like they had yesterday?
She decided that the only way to find out was to lay it all on the line. To tell him how she felt and what her fears were.
“I’m scared,” she whispered. “I’m scared that I won’t be enough for you. That my love for you won’t be all that you need. That your need to pit yourself against the elements will rise up again. And the next time it does, we won’t be so lucky. The next time, I could lose you. And I can’t lose you again. I can’t lose someone I love again. I just can’t.”
She let the tears fall, the tears that she’d kept at bay since she’d opened the door and saw him standing there. Defeated but determined. She felt safe when his arms tightened around her and he placed soft kisses on her cheek. She lay there for a few more moments before pulling herself together.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to cry all over you.”
“I don’t care. I have to ask you something.”
“What?”
A slow sexy smile broke out of his face. “You love me?”
She traced his face, her fingertips lightly touching the scratches and band-aids covering the deeper cuts. He’d never looked more handsome to her than at that moment. Perhaps it was the love that she could see blazing in the blue depths of his eyes. Her heart clenched. She couldn’t deny him. She couldn’t deny herself. “Yes, Andrew, I do love you.”
“Thank God,” he breathed as he captured her lips in a kiss so powerful she almost fell backwards. She answered every thrust of his tongue. Every emotion she felt for him she poured into the kiss. In return, she accepted every emotion he sent her way.
They broke away from each other, breathing heavily. Dawn laid her forehead against his. “I’ve loved you since the day I saw you across the hallway in high school. You owned a piece of me even when I was married to Tom. I was lucky to have him.”
Andrew rubbed his hand along her back in a comforting motion. “I’ve never stopped loving you too, Dawn. Tom was a remarkable man; I know that he will be happy that you found happiness again.”
“I hope so, but Andrew, I have to ask you, will I be enough? Or will the need to chase another adventure take you from me?”
“I only need you to fulfill my life, Dawn, and that’s the truth. I love you more than anything in this world. If I never sail again I will be happy. So long as I have you in my arms I don’t need anything else.”
He said the words with such conviction that Dawn knew he spoke the truth. That all he needed now was her. “I believe you.”
He kissed her again and she lost herself in his touch. She moved her legs and a groan erupted from his mouth. She’d connected with his broken leg. Between their confessions of love she’d forgotten about his injury.
“I’m so sorry.”
Andrew laughed and hugged her tighter. “A little pain is worth it if I have you to kiss it better.”
“I think I can manage that.” She went in to kiss him again, but he pulled back. He looked deep into her eyes. She held her breath, wondering what was about to happen.
“Dawn, I love you with my whole heart. I cannot imagine a day with you not in it. I want to wake up beside you every day. I want a future with you. Will you marry me?”
She exhaled slowly, in shock with Andrew’s proposal. But joy filled her. She wanted the same. “Yes, Andrew, yes, I will marry you. I want everything you want too.”
“Including children?” he asked.
Her heart stopped at the request. She looked deep inside herself. Could she put herself through a pregnancy again or would the fear of losing the child be too great for her? She switched her gaze to the man who held her. He gave her the strength to start living again. He completed her and she knew that no matter what, he would always be there for her. She looked at the picture of Tom and Brody and knew they were smiling down at her, telling her to take this second chance and live the life she was meant to.
“Yes, Andrew. Yes, including children.”
“No matter what happens, Dawn, we’ll do it together.”
“I like the sound of that,” she said. “Together. I never thought I could feel again. I never thought I’d be warm again. I have you to thank for that. You’ve brought me back to life.”
“No, we brought each other back to life. I never realized I was only half living until I walked into that emergency room and saw you standing there, Dawn. I knew then that I needed you. It just took me a while to realize it.”
They were quiet for a few minutes as they gave into the need to re-affirm the love they had declared.
“So when do we get married?” she asked.
“When I can carry you across the threshold,” he said on a laugh before taking her lips in a kiss that cemented their future together.
Rescuing Dawn: Lovers Unmasked: Book 2 Page 18
