by L. A. Witt
“Don’t be.” I kissed his forehead. “This is his fault. Not yours.”
“I know, but if it weren’t for—”
I kissed him gently and cradled his face. “Don’t, Samir. He’s not your fault, and I want you in my life, even if it means having to deal with him.”
Samir searched my eyes.
“I’m serious,” I whispered. “We’ll deal with him. He’s the cops’ problem tonight, and after that, we’ll figure it out.” I trailed my fingertips down his cheek. “But I’m not going anywhere, and I don’t hold any of this against you.”
That faint smile started to come back to life, and he put his hand over mine as he turned his head to kiss my palm. “Thank you.”
“I’m just glad you came back. I’ve been dying to clear the air after the other night, but I didn’t want to—”
It was his turn to shut me up with a kiss. When he drew back, he smiled for real, his fingertips still resting against my face. “I needed some time to get my head out of my ass. So thanks for that. And I’m sorry for leaving you twisting in the wind while I did.”
“It’s okay. You’re here now.”
“Yeah.” He trailed the backs of his fingers along my jaw. “For what it’s worth, I’ve missed you. I know it’s only been a few days, but I’m not used to sleeping alone anymore.”
“Neither am I. I mean, I could do without getting a cat tail up my nose, but—”
Samir laughed, and the sound warmed me all over. Maybe it had only been three days, but I’d missed his laugh more than I’d missed sleeping next to him, and that said a lot.
“Well,” he said, eyes sparkling, “how about we go back to my place after your shift?” He grinned. “Can’t promise anything about the cat tails, but we can start making up for lost time.”
“That sounds perfect. Cat tail and all.”
He smiled again and kissed me, this time letting it linger. I desperately wanted to deepen it, but I was sure if I did, we’d wind up sneaking off to the VIP lounge. Which was tempting, but should probably wait until the police were done. And until I was off the clock.
The office door opened, and we both turned as a cop emerged, reading Jesse his rights. The other officer had Jesse by the elbow, and Jesse’s hands were cuffed behind his back. I had to grin—that was a glorious fucking sight as far as I was concerned. Especially since he looked like a sad puppy, and he didn’t steal so much as a glance at Samir. It was almost a shame he wouldn’t have to do the walk of shame across the lounge so everyone could see what a douchebag he was, but this kind of thing was better left behind closed doors. Liam and the other bouncers would escort them out the back door so no one saw anything.
And anyway, I wouldn’t see any of it because I was staying with Samir.
Everyone had finally trooped out of the office except for us, and now we were alone. The door banged shut behind the cops and Jesse, and in a split second, all the fearlessness vanished from Samir’s posture. He slumped against the desk, pushing out a ragged breath, and put a hand over his face.
“Hey.” I touched his shoulders. “You okay?”
“I…” He took a deep breath, and the hand over his eyes started shaking. So did his knees.
“Come here.” I gathered him in my arms again. He didn’t resist—as I pulled him close, he melted against me. “That took some serious balls. Like… Shit, Samir. That was insane.”
He was still shaking badly, but he held onto me and sighed. “Thanks for having my back out there.”
“Don’t mention it. You know I’d do anything for you.”
“Yeah, I do.” He lifted his head so he could look in my eyes. “You’re amazing.”
“I’m not the one who just made my abusive asshole ex back down.” I cupped his cheek. “I’m proud of you.”
He smiled faintly. His eyes flicked past me, and he frowned. “Wait, don’t they need to talk to us before they arrest him?”
“My guess is they’re bringing him in for trespassing. Liam probably wants him out of the club sooner than later. Then they’ll come talk to us.”
It was just a guess, but it turned out I was right. Another pair of officers came in minutes later and confirmed that although Jesse had been taken in for trespassing, they understood there was more to the incident.
“So,” the officer said, “we just need to get a statement from you, Mister…” He raised his eyebrows.
“Doctor Ramezani,” Samir said.
“Right. Sorry.” The officer cleared his throat. “Would you mind?”
Samir glanced at me.
“Go ahead.” I motioned toward the hallway. “I’ll be right outside.”
“Actually,” the officer said, “I’ll need a statement from you too, so yes, please don’t go too far.”
“No problem.” I turned to Samir again. “You’ll be all right?”
He smiled. “I think I can handle this part. I’ll be fine.”
As soon as the door was shut, separating them from me, I released a breath and sagged against the wall.
It wasn’t over. I didn’t believe for a second that it was. But Samir was back and, for the moment, safe from Jesse. We’d figure out the rest as we went, but for the first time in days, I didn’t feel like the world was two seconds away from caving in.
Closing my eyes, I exhaled.
Samir was safe.
We’d put the other night to bed.
And maybe, just maybe, neither of us would have to sleep alone tonight.
Chapter 20
Samir
The police were finally finished with us. Jesse had long since been hauled off in handcuffs. Elliott and I had both given statements, as had everyone in Wilde’s who’d seen anything. The officers had given me instructions for filing a restraining order, since we all knew Jesse would probably be out before long.
Elliott still had a couple of hours left on his shift, but Liam had all but shoved him out the door.
“Casey and Julien have it under control,” he said. “Go get some rest. Both of you.”
Didn’t have to tell us twice.
We couldn’t get back to my house fast enough, and then it was another million years before we made it down the hall to my bedroom. Not a bad million years—I wouldn’t complain about kissing and groping with Elliott—but still, it took for-fucking-ever before…
Yes. Finally.
Elliott was on his back on my bed.
I was on top of him.
And there was nothing between us.
We were right where we’d been when things had gone wrong the other night, and they were not going wrong this time. The fear from last time was still there, still tingling along my nerve endings as Elliott’s strong, warm arms tightened around me, but I wasn’t going to let it win. Not this time.
“I want you so bad,” I breathed.
“You’ve got me, baby.” He pressed his teeth into my shoulder. “Anything you want—just tell me.”
I want to make myself believe you won’t hurt me. Because I know you won’t.
“Fuck me,” I whispered.
“You sure?” He caressed my cheek even as he pressed his dick against mine. “We can take it slow if—”
“No.” I shook my head. “I want you to fuck me.”
I need you. I need this. Please, Elliott.
“Stay on top,” he murmured. “Ride me.”
I bit my lip and shivered like his cock was already buried inside me. Then warmth rushed through me at the realization that he was suggesting the position that gave me the most control. The easiest escape if I needed it. In what universe was I anything but perfectly safe with this man?
Without another word, I leaned away to get a condom. Elliott kissed my side, the ticklish touch of his lips making me gasp. He laughed and squeezed my ass.
“Hey!” I swatted his hand away, nearly losing my balance, but he caught me, and we both burst out laughing. “You want me to get a condom or not?”
“Of course I do.” He stroked
my balls with his fingertips, and when I cursed, he grinned. “Doesn’t mean I can’t tease you.”
I bit my lip and groaned. “You’re a bastard.”
“Mmhmm. And you can get that condom any time now.”
I reached for it again, and he gave my dick a long, delicious stroke. I gripped the edge of the mattress, letting my head fall forward. “Ass.”
He laughed wickedly. “Okay, okay. Just get a condom.”
I rolled my eyes, and this time he did let me get the condom and lube from the drawer. He quickly put both on, and then slicked up his fingers, and my whole body hummed with anticipation. I wanted nothing more than to have that thick cock buried to the hilt in me right fucking now, but I knew better. Especially as tense as I’d been and probably still was.
As his fingertips teased my ass, I leaned down to kiss him. Elliott moaned, curving his other hand around the back of my head, and his tongue parted my lips in the same moment his finger eased into my hole. I kissed him deeper. He pushed his fingers deeper.
He grazed my prostate, and I broke the kiss with a gasp, letting my head fall beside his.
“Go as slow as you need to.” His other hand stroked my hair. “Not in any hurry.”
I moaned, easing myself up, then down again on his fingers. I kind of was in a hurry just because I was fucking desperate for him, but his fingers felt damn good. I could probably get off in no time if I picked up the pace, but I loved this slow slide, and anyway, I still wanted his cock, so I didn’t. I relished being in control of everything—how deep, how hard, how fast.
Except I didn’t need that control. Not with Elliott. I could give it up and trust him, couldn’t I? And if I couldn’t, then what the fuck was I doing in bed with him?
Heart thumping, I slowed to a stop and met his gaze. “Let me get on my stomach. And you get on top.”
Elliott licked his lips. “You sure? That won’t…” His raised eyebrows finished the question.
And yeah, it probably would. Being pinned down under his bigger, heavier frame probably would trip the panic that had brought everything to a halt the other night. But I needed that. I needed to face that fear and see it through because I wasn’t afraid of Elliott and I did feel safe with him, and if some immersion therapy was what it took, so be it.
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m good. I just like the way you feel in that position.”
He studied me, but then he nodded too. “Say the word if you want to move.”
“I will.” I lifted myself off him and rolled onto my stomach. As he climbed on top, I held my breath, my heart thumping hard against my ribs as his weight settled over me. I concentrated on relaxing, especially as he guided his cock to me. I was okay. This was okay. There was nothing to be afraid of. Fear still pinged through me, but I didn’t stop Elliott as he pushed himself in. He moved slowly, as if he hadn’t already prepped me with his fingers, and I savored it. Every stroke. Every slide of the head across my prostate. I focused on how good it felt as his cock stretched me, how warm his skin was against my back, how soft his lips were on my neck.
I couldn’t ignore reality, though—in this position, Elliott had total control. He had physics on his side, and I couldn’t overpower him if I wanted to.
But I trusted him. I had complete faith that even though I could never physically fight him off, one whisper of “stop” would have him off me so fast my head would spin. That alone turned me on, or at least let me relax enough to be turned on. It shouldn’t have been a novelty, having sex that was safe and sweet instead of fraught with tension, but it was.
“You feel so good,” he whispered. “God, Samir.” His lips brushed my neck, and his groan thrummed against my skin. “T-tell me… Tell me what you want me to do.”
“This.” The word came out like a sigh, but it was all I could do. I was too overwhelmed to speak. I wanted to cry and come and maybe do both at the same time. I was safe. I was wrapped up in a man who wanted me to feel good, not scared, and little by little, the fear receded. As Elliott picked up speed, thrusting into me and breathing hard against my neck, that fear gave way to a thrill I’d never had before. It was exhilarating and electric—this liberating sense that I could surrender control and just enjoy the ride, all the while completely trusting that the man on top of me would never think of breaking that trust. The arms around me and the weight over me weren’t threatening at all.
Just like every time we’ve done this.
I closed my eyes and exhaled as the last remnants of tension disappeared. Of course I was safe. I was under Elliott, and he wasn’t just fucking me to get his rocks off or to control me. For the first time in way too long, this truly felt like a man was making love to me.
I turned my head as much as I could and whispered, “Harder.”
“You sure?” His lips grazed my cheek.
“Y-yeah. Gonna… God, you’re gonna make me come.”
Elliott groaned and dipped his head to kiss my neck, and he rode me harder, driving himself into me as he pushed my cock against the sheets. The friction, the penetration, the heat of his body, the safety of his embrace—it was all too much, and I reveled in it. A strangled cry escaped my throat, and Elliott responded with a helpless moan, and when a shudder drove a gasp out of him, I realized he was on the edge with me, and I let go. I came with what sounded like a sob, and Elliott grunted as his rhythm fell apart and we both fell to pieces.
He sighed, warm breath rushing past my shoulder, and we both stilled. He kept himself up on his forearms so I could still breathe, which I appreciated, but I actually liked the weight of his chest over my back.
And the fear? Long gone.
With a soft curse, Elliott pulled out and rolled onto his side next to me. I faced him on my side, and we both smiled as we caught our breath.
After a moment, he leaned in for a light kiss, then sat up. “Let me take care of this. Be right back.” He started to stand, but one of the cats suddenly materialized beside him. Elliott jumped but laughed. “Hey, Mehrang. What’s up?”
I smiled. “That’s Nima.”
“Is it? Man, I cannot tell them apart.” He got up, took a step toward the bathroom, and stumbled hard. “Shit!” He braced against the wall, keeping himself upright, and he managed to not drop the condom in the process. “Sorry, Shouka.”
I laughed and craned my neck. “Is she over there?”
Sure enough, Shouka was sprawled beside the bed, looking utterly bored and unimpressed.
Elliott shook his head and chuckled as he continued toward the bathroom. “Gonna break my neck in this house.”
I laughed and lay back, hands laced behind my head. I felt better tonight than I had in a long time, and not just because of the amazing sex. I’d stood up to Jesse. I’d made up with Elliott. What wasn’t to feel good about?
Of course I had no illusions that Jesse was out of my life, or that he would be any time soon. That just wasn’t how he operated. Dealing with that… Well, I’d have to take that one day at a time. Hopefully the restraining order would help.
For tonight, at least, he was in jail and I was here with Elliott. Despite going off the rails briefly, Elliott and I had made it back to this. There was still a long road ahead while I sorted out all my bullshit from my last couple of relationships, and while I figured out how to deal with Jesse, but Elliott and me? There wasn’t much more I could ask for than having him here with me and knowing we’d be all right.
In the bathroom, something banged, and I jumped, but then heard Elliott mutter, “Damn it, cat.”
I snorted.
Okay, we’d be all right as long as one of my pets didn’t trip him.
But that was a risk I was pretty sure we could both live with.
Chapter 21
Elliott
Nothing in the world had ever felt better than settling into bed beside Samir. It felt a bit dramatic, being this relieved after only three days apart, but with as upset as he’d been when I’d left the other night? Yeah, I was this relieved and I m
ade no apologies for it.
We lay on our sides, facing each other with our fingers clasped between us.
Samir kissed my knuckles. “So, we’re good, right? After everything that happened?”
“Of course. Did you think we weren’t?”
“No, but I…” He laughed self-consciously, avoiding my gaze. “I guess I’m going to be insecure for a while. About everything.”
“I know. And if you need reassurance, just say so.”
“And if that gets annoying, just say so.”
“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”
He studied me for a moment. Then he gently freed his hand and touched my face. “Listen, I know we haven’t been doing this very long, and I’m still coming down from splitting with my ex, but…” He hesitated, and I braced, fully expecting another barrage of apologies. Instead, he looked in my eyes and whispered, “I love you, Elliott.”
My heart skipped. “Really?”
“Yeah. And not just because you’re better than the last two guys I dated.” He smiled shyly. “I just do.”
I smiled back, lifted my head off the pillow, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you too.”
His lips curved against mine, and we held each other close for a long, lazy kiss. When he drew back, he frowned. “This isn’t going to be all sunshine and roses, though. You know that, right?”
“Of course. But we’ll be okay.” I kissed him softly. “I want to be with you. I love you. We’ll deal with everything else as it comes.”
“I love you too,” he whispered. “And maybe…” His eyes lost focus, and he chewed his lip.
“Hmm?”
Samir swallowed. “Maybe it wouldn’t be bad idea for me to look into some self-defense. Just in case Jesse doesn’t give up so easily.”
“Couldn’t hurt. Maybe a counselor too.”
His forehead creased.
“To help you deal with his shit, I mean,” I said quickly. “I go to one for my PTSD. He doesn’t magically fix anything, but sometimes just having someone to help walk me through things helps a lot.”
