by Jenny Hale
Having spent her young adult life mostly alone, Lila had developed a heart for people. She craved the connection that was stolen from her too early. It was what made her great at her job, and it was how she’d become such good friends with the women in her life. It was also why she felt the overwhelming need to stay at Fireside Cabins, to keep Eleanor company, despite the fact that her brain was screaming at her not to do it. It was her heart over her head this time. It was the season of giving, after all.
Eighteen
By six in the morning, Lila had already gotten herself together for the day. She knew people would be lining up at the coffee shop in about an hour, and Theo shouldn’t leave his loyal customers high and dry, so she pushed away the sting of his disappearing act, deciding to fill in until she could figure out where he was. She grabbed her coat and headed out the door.
Lila knew it was probably pointless, but she couldn’t help but look for Theo as she drove to the coffee shop. Her eyes roamed the barren tree line, the frost-covered medians; she peered over at every shop door and window on the way, scanning faces, just hoping to find him. But it was wishful thinking. If he’d run, he wouldn’t be hanging out in the woods.
As she came to a stop in the small lot by the coffee shop, her mouth dropped open in surprise. She snapped it shut, gaping at what was in front of her. “He moves fast,” she said out loud, to no one but herself. In the yard leading to the coffee shop, a corporate sign had been posted. The coffee shop was for sale.
Lila got out of the car, the icy wind assaulting her, and went up to the shop, taking the key from behind the Coffee sign. She unlocked the door and slammed it shut, causing the Christmas wreath to shimmy back and forth.
“Theo!” she called angrily, stomping through the dining area toward the office, but there was no response, just like before. She peered into the office and gasped. It had been totally cleaned out. All his books—gone. The furniture, the filing cabinet, the envelope—also gone. Turning back, she looked around the place. All the coffee shop paraphernalia was still in place, but his personal things had disappeared: the latest book he’d been reading, which he’d always kept on the counter, the cash in the tip jar, the jacket that had been draped over the chair in the corner of the prep station. The festive greenery was still there, a reminder that the holiday was looming despite the fact she didn’t feel a single bit of good cheer.
Feeling suddenly like she was carrying a weight bigger than herself, she slowly climbed the stairs to the little apartment where he’d always retreated, fearful of what she’d see when she got up there. When she reached the top step, her fears were confirmed. The open space was empty, the kitchenette bare, the wood floors swept. Not a stitch of Theo in the space.
Her eyes filled with desperate, frustrated tears as she pulled out her phone, the old feeling of her happiness being ripped away from her when her dad had died swelling in her gut. It was a helpless, angry feeling of being abandoned. She opened up a text to him and typed: I don’t always know the right things to do, and—news flash—neither do you. But I don’t run away from people who care about me.
She stared at the screen and willed the little bubbles to show on her phone, alerting her that he was typing back, but they never came.
“Hello-o!” She heard a woman’s voice downstairs. “Anyone here?”
Lila wiped her eyes and squared her shoulders. Then she headed down to the shop to greet the customer.
Evening had brought a chill into the coffee shop. Lila zipped up today’s earnings in the empty bank bag Theo had left in the cash register drawer and took it with her. If and when she saw him again, she’d hand it over. He could ruin his own Christmas and hers, but she wouldn’t let him ruin the Christmas of all the townsfolk stopping in for their peppermint lattes and caramel crumbles. Even if he was selling the place, she was going to keep it going until the last possible minute.
A few people had asked about Theo and the for-sale sign. She’d brushed off their suggestions that he was planning to sell the lot and close down. She’d kept his office door closed and turned on Christmas music to keep the atmosphere light, and his absence hadn’t seemed to be an issue for anyone but her. Turning off the lights, she flipped over the “open” sign to “closed,” and locked up.
When she got back to the cabins she went straight over to Eleanor’s, deciding to go ahead right away with her harebrained idea, to avoid the thoughts of Theo and his whereabouts that had been on her mind all day.
“I have an idea,” she said the instant the old lady opened the door.
“What is it?” Eleanor poked the fire in the old stone hearth with the iron, the flames licking their way up the chimney in protest, sending a wave of heat through the room. She sat down on the sofa, patting the spot next to her.
“What would you say if I told you I found a donor for this place who is willing to invest about five thousand dollars into renovations with no questions asked?”
“I’d say you’ve had a little too much eggnog somewhere,” Eleanor said, with a disbelieving but excited laugh.
“Call me what you want, but you’ve got it if you want it.”
Eleanor gasped, covering her mouth in surprise, her eyes wide. “Who’s the investor?” she asked through her fingers.
“Me.”
“What? You can’t invest that much of your money.”
“I can invest in whatever I want to invest in.” Lila gave her a big, loving grin. “We’ll have to be smart about what we use the money for to be sure we get the biggest bang for our buck. We don’t have a ton to work with.”
“You really want to do this?” Presley jumped into her lap, purring.
“Yes,” she said with feeling. “I love this place—I see so much potential here. And I adore the town. I’ve toyed with the idea of sticking around for a while…”
“Oh, my dear! That would be wonderful.”
“Now, let’s get started. Who are we going to get to help us with the exterior?”
“I found a painter who will touch up the cabins for three thousand dollars,” Eleanor said, setting the cat down onto the wood floor. Its tail swished back and forth as it made its way over to the fire and curled up on its little cushion there.
“For all the cabins? Wow, that’s incredible.”
“And a carpenter who will fix my steps and the porch. He wants four hundred.”
“Okay, good. We’re getting somewhere. We could try to rent a steam cleaner and steam the carpets instead of replacing them. I don’t mind painting the walls inside the cabins. How many are there?”
“Five, plus mine. We could just paint the family rooms, since that’s what you see when you come in the door.”
“Great idea. We could also ask Pinewood Farm if they have any clearance garlands to use. And we could rake up the leaves around the green spaces.”
“This is amazing,” Eleanor said, wrapping her arms around Lila. “But I’m worried you’re spending too much on this. Where are you getting all the money?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Lila said with a grin. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” Eleanor put her hand on her heart, obviously still overwhelmed by the gesture. “Stay for supper,” she said. “I’ll make us a celebratory feast.”
Eleanor had been true to her word, cooking soft-drop biscuit chicken and dumplings, cornbread, and buttery stewed carrots. Lila was bursting full, but Eleanor insisted that she carry a family-sized box of leftovers back to her cabin. She’d spent the whole dinner telling Eleanor about Theo and how she’d run the coffee shop today.
“I can’t believe it,” she’d said. “Well, actually, from what I’ve seen of him, I can, sad to say.”
Lila could understand her point of view, but she refused to believe Theo would just abandon them. She’d seen another side of him––hadn’t she?
As she slipped the key into the lock and let herself in, she took stock of her surroundings, the silence of the cabin making her feel lonely. Just then her p
hone pinged, and she couldn’t deny the fizzle of hope that it was Theo. She had been checking her phone all day, but had had no reply from him. Pulling her phone from her pocket, a mixture of happiness and disappointment simultaneously swam through her. It was Edie.
The text read, We’re doing a group video call. (It was Piper’s idea.) Are you free?
Yes, she answered, amused.
Her phone lit up, and she ran into the living room and grabbed her iPad, opening the app on the bigger device and settling in on the sofa, under the soft glow of the lamp and the Christmas lights.
“Hi!” Piper said from the corner of the screen.
“Hey, everyone!” Lila said, waving to her friends. “Charlotte, are you still in LA?”
“Yes!” Charlotte was all smiles.
“What’s that framed behind you? Is that someone famous?” Lila asked.
Charlotte reached around and held up a glossy photo of actress Nikki Mars, signed in swooping script in the corner. “Yeah!” she said from what looked like her trailer on set. Lila could see a tiny tinsel-strewn tree behind her friend. “Nikki signed it for me after I did her hair. She said no one has been able to style it as well as I did, and she’s requesting that I do her hair on the set of her next major motion picture!”
“That’s amazing,” Lila said, delighted for her friend. “You deserve it. You’re so talented. I’m thrilled that people are noticing.”
Charlotte gave her a giddy little wiggle on her screen.
Lila turned her attention to Edie. “How’s the PR business going?”
Edie was in her apartment. She had her hair pulled back, and she was wearing the reading glasses she always used when she was working. “I’ve been up to my eyeballs in press release verbiage. Don’t ask,” she told Lila.
“We all felt terrible leaving you,” Charlotte said. “And we wanted to call to tell you that we miss you.”
“I miss you all too,” Lila told them. “I’ve been deprived, not having our morning coffee. How have I survived without your latest gossip?”
“Speaking of gossip…” Piper chimed in. “You need to dish, right now. We’re all dying to hear what’s going on with Theo.”
Lila set about telling them everything, from the very beginning until her final text. “I think I’m going to go into the coffee shop to run it again tomorrow,” she told them.
Piper gave her an empathetic smile. “Lila,” she said softly. “Running the shop won’t bring him back. It’s for sale. He’s gone.”
Her tender tone cut Lila like a knife because she knew why Piper was approaching the subject so gently. Since her father’s death, Lila had struggled with loss. Piper knew firsthand how it had torn Lila’s heart out. When she and Razz hadn’t worked out, Lila had crumpled into a heap of tears on Piper’s bed in her apartment, the ache so strong that she could hardly breathe. All Lila wanted in life was connection and, for whatever reason, it was elusive. And now, when she felt like she’d found someone she was beginning to really see—even with his walls up, someone who, in such a short time, had made her feel alive—he was gone.
Much of her adult life she’d been alone, and not of her choosing. Razz had ruined their relationship, her parents had left her, and her friends were moving on. But the coffee shop was a place that made her feel like she wasn’t alone. If she kept it open, even just for a few days, it would stop the loneliness and solitude from crushing her.
“I know I can’t run the shop with him gone… But I wish I could fix it somehow,” she said.
“You’re trying to save the world,” Edie said, clearly shocked by her statement. “It’s too much for one person, Lila. You need to focus on your life and what you want. And Theo Perry’s not worth a minute of your time,” she added. “He’s clearly not the kind of person you deserve. Do you really want to get wrapped up in all his baggage when he could be involved in illegal things?”
Lila sat, silent, digesting Edie’s comments, when everything in her gut told her that Theo wasn’t who they thought he was.
Edie did have a point, but what if there was some other reason for Theo’s behavior that they just hadn’t thought of? What if they didn’t have the whole story?
“Can I ask you something?” Edie cut through her thoughts. “Are you investing in the cabins because you’re thinking of staying in Pinewood Hills?”
“I’ve considered it,” she said, honestly.
“And are you staying in the hopes that Theo might return? Because if that’s your reason, I have to beg you to listen to me when I say there’s more out there for you than that, Lila. You stayed in Nashville for Razz and look at where it got you.”
“I’ve considered staying because I like here,” she said, but Edie’s parallel had shaken her. Was she making the same mistake twice without even knowing it? “And Theo probably isn’t coming back anyway,” she added, trying to convince herself now. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that staying in Pinewood Hills had nothing to do with Theo. “Being here makes me feel whole. Eleanor feels like family. I love waking up in the mornings, knowing that Eleanor’s just across the yard, and I haven’t been able to have family close to me in a very long time,” she explained. “I fit in here.”
Just then her iPad screen lit up with a text that floated right over Edie’s face, and simultaneously stopped Lila’s heart. It was from Theo. It had flashed up so quickly that by the time she got herself under control, she’d missed it, and now all she wanted to do was open it. She rummaged around the sofa for her phone, but she must have left it in the kitchen.
“You just went ghostly white,” Piper said. “What’s wrong?”
“I got a text,” she said, breathless, her mouth drying out as she got up, carrying the iPad with her on her search for her phone. “From Theo.”
“Go!” Charlotte said. “Check it and call us back later!”
The others all agreed, their heads nodding simultaneously. She snatched her phone from the kitchen counter, said her goodbyes to the girls, and then settled back down on the sofa with her phone in both hands. She swallowed, her tummy aflutter with butterflies, and opened the text.
It read simply, You don’t even know me.
Heat spread over Lila’s face and down her neck. All she could do was be honest with him, since that’s what she wanted most from him. She returned, I don’t know your favorite dinner dish or what makes your skin boil, but I want to.
Lila’s stomach burned with unease. She had never been so transparent with anyone, but he’d looked so vulnerable at times that she thought he needed to hear she had faith in their connection, and if he’d just let her in, they might find there could be something wonderful between them.
When he didn’t text back, she texted again: Seafood.
A plume of exhilaration swelled inside her when the bubbles showed on her phone. He typed, What?
She replied, That’s my favorite dinner dish—any kind of seafood.
But he didn’t come back, and her heart sunk at that knowledge.
Lila clearly wouldn’t get the chance to talk about the sale of the coffee shop, why he was suddenly leaving, what the papers were saying about him, or what the note in his office had meant. She knew she shouldn’t waste her time trying if he wasn’t willing to reciprocate. She could only go out on a limb so many times before giving up. So she sent one final text and went to bed:
Your life can’t start until you let go of whatever is holding you back.
As Lila crawled under the covers in the silent cabin, she wondered if that had been advice for Theo or for her.
Nineteen
Rex put his little hands over his ears to stifle the loud growl of Judd’s tractor. When Judd had heard from Adele that Lila was helping out at Fireside Cabins, he came right away. Lila had no idea that Adele had said a thing—she’d only mentioned it to Adele when she’d put a sign on the coffee shop apologizing for closing its doors. The next thing she knew, Judd was rolling up the hill on his tractor with Rex and
his hound dog in the front seat, the large reel on the back of the machine grinding the fallen leaves and snow, leaving green grass in its wake like a colossal vacuum cleaner.
“You reckon Winston can hear anymore?” Rex called out to her over the ruckus. “He sits with my daddy every day and it’s so noisy.” The little boy had gotten out of the tractor after seeing Lila in the yard, and now the two of them stood in their coats and scarves, warming their hands next to the small crackling fire in the fire pit on the side of the main cabin that Eleanor had lit for them. The flames licked their way into the air, causing the snow on the edge of the fire pit to glisten. “His back legs tapped like crazy when he found out he’s gettin’ to ride on a Saturday too,” Rex continued. “He usually just lays on the floor all day on weekends, waitin’ for Monday when he can get back to work with Daddy. He loves it.”
“It seems like he does,” Lila said with a laugh.
“Sometimes I wonder what Winston thinks ridin’ in that tractor.”
Lila looked down at Rex. “You’re an old soul,” she told him after the tractor had moved further away from them, easing the clatter. “You think a lot. I can tell.”
“I’m always thinkin’,” Rex said, kicking a small stone from the patio into the grass. “Lately I’ve been thinkin’ that I won’t get to see Theo again.” His face dropped, his bright eyes clouding. “And my grandma said she might not get her coffee anymore. He moved, didn’t he?”
Lila shook her head, unsure of how to approach the subject.
Rex’s lip wobbled. “He didn’t tell me bye.”
