“We don’t have much time,” Aerie whispered as he laid her down on the bed, even as she was already reaching for him.
“We’ll make it enough,” he promised her.
Aerie knew she should try to fight harder, but Exton seemed to prefer kissing her into silence, and she preferred to let him. There was nothing she wanted more than to know that their love would be enough to bridge the gaps between them.
♦2♦
It took Exton a moment to realize that the usual rhythm of his steps carried a new beat as he made his way through the Perdition’s familiar hallways. It took him another few moments to decide he liked it.
After more than six years in space, it was a nice change, he decided. Even if it was impractical.
There is nothing wrong with having hope.
It was having false or foolish hope that was risky, and he knew the difference between the two.
There was a good chance that he, along with the other forces of the defectors, could topple the URS and its oppressive regime. With the small collection of forces fighting them, and the added arsenal of the Perdition, Merra St. Cloud, for all her trouble, had been proven right over the past several weeks—the URS stronghold had sown its own seeds of destruction as they fought to control their people, and the people were beginning to notice.
Some of them, anyway—enough that as the government tried to hold onto their power against the defectors, both inside and outside the nation, more and more people were asking for the truth and finding the government’s answers lacking.
As the Perdition directed forces around the world, further breaking the URS off from their bases and labs, the end of their power was becoming more of a possibility.
Exton glanced out the window as he walked by. He faltered in his footsteps, stopping short as he watched the world below.
Aerie is the reason for all of this, he thought. He had never been able to see past the pain of his past, only seeing a bleak future where he was destined to meet the same fate as his father.
Not until he saw her. Since Aerie came into his life, everything had changed. Now, she was his. And now, everything was better.
Even the world seemed to be in better shape. Exton saw the thick band of clouds coiled almost protectively around the middle of the world. Since the last battle at Petra with the Craftcarrier, it seemed that the clouded belt around the middle of the world, the one that had chilled the equator and killed off several ecosystems, had shrunk some, both in size and density. He could see little patches of the world through the bulky foam; he could see little patterns of breaking fractals as rain once more poured down on the earth below.
Exton’s attention turned toward Petra, the stronghold of his community in Antarctica, where he knew Emery was helping his aunt and the other leaders.
While he was sure she was immersing herself in the day to day needs of Petra’s citizens, Exton was almost sorry Emery wasn’t onboard the Perdition with him. She had regularly been his confidant, and he missed her counsel. Especially since he had General St. Cloud under his guard.
His mood darkened instantly, as his mind swept itself away to his meeting with St. Cloud in the small room that had been arranged into a prison cell.
“I ASSUME YOU’RE NOT here to ask me what I think about my accommodations?”
Exton grimaced; it had been three days since they’d left Petra to board the Perdition, and even the afterglow of celebrating Aerie’s return and their wedding was not enough to leave him unaffected by the sound of St. Cloud’s voice.
He looked at his foe now, frowning at him from the doorway, as St. Cloud sat at the small table. It was a standard room, with a kitchenette close by. Exton was glad, on several levels, that St. Cloud had not broken his confinement, and that he hadn’t given Exton any grief over the arrangements.
Over the years, St. Cloud had given him enough grief over other things.
Other things I want to discuss.
Even though he was determined to get the answers he wanted, Exton found himself only too willing to hesitate.
His old mentor was drinking coffee from a mug, and for the first time it hit Exton that he was looking at his father-in-law.
God certainly has a weird sense of humor, Exton thought wryly.
St. Cloud cleared his throat. “I can keep talking if it would make you feel better. Getting acclimated to life’s inconveniences is—”
“Is not a privilege, but a necessity, for the warrior,” Exton finished. He remembered St. Cloud’s teachings more than he liked to admit.
A spark appeared in St. Cloud’s eyes, and Exton had a hard time wondering if it was a sign of hope or because St. Cloud wanted to disconcert him.
Well, Exton thought, nothing would disconcert me more than to be his protégé again.
If only he’d had the same feeling when he was younger, when St. Cloud originally extended the offer to be a career mentor.
If he’d turned down the offer, Exton knew he might have never gotten into university early; he might not have even tried. Instead of going to university to be an engineer, he might have joined the URS military in hopes of gaining fame as a top officer, finally taking out the last MENACE remnant, and quickly advancing in rank.
His father might even still be alive, mass producing more weapons, fighters, and life-saving technology for Dictator Osgood.
“Never mind,” Exton muttered to himself. He had plenty of possibilities to wonder about later. He had to deal with the realities right now.
“How is Aerie?” St. Cloud asked slowly.
Exton nearly choked on his words. “She’s doing well.”
He hated that Aerie was stuck in the middle of their feud, but it couldn’t be helped. She was St. Cloud’s daughter—even if Exton was sure she hated it almost as much as he did—and now she was also his wife.
His beautiful, loving, compassionate wife.
Exton felt his hardened stance soften, minimally, as he thought of her.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
Exton snorted disdainfully. “After decontamination, you’re probably glad to hear of anything that resembles news.”
St. Cloud frowned. “I have a right to know my daughter’s being treated well.”
“That certainly didn’t bother you when you signed her over to be tortured under Osgood’s orders, and by Lieutenant Dubois, no less.”
St. Cloud waved the matter away with a flick of his hand. “I expect that sort of thing from Osgood and his ilk,” he said. “After years of dealing with him, I know how Osgood thinks and how he operates. Thankfully, the Ecclesia has a different standard.”
“You’re not dealing with the Ecclesia.”
“But I am dealing with you, and you were raised in the community of believers, even if you don’t agree with them on everything,” St. Cloud replied. “With all their teachings, I know you have received a set of morals I know you won’t discard as easily. That’s part of the reason I knew you would be a good leader, believe it or not.”
Exton said nothing as he fumed.
St. Cloud’s eyes gleamed again, this time with cunning. “I know you, Exton. I taught you well, and you learned your lessons better than I could have ever hoped.”
“You taught me how to be a fighter,” Exton said. “Nothing more.”
“I taught you how to be a fighter,” St. Cloud agreed, “but one with honor.”
“For all the good it did me.”
“I didn’t tell you what to believe,” St. Cloud said. “That is where we differ, you know.”
“What do you mean?” Exton flustered over. “You were a part of the Ecclesia once, too—and still are, according to what you told me at Petra.”
“And I am.”
“I wouldn’t advertise that too loudly. Dennis wouldn’t like to hear that.”
“You’re right. It drives him crazy, you know. Merra’s grown on him over the years, but he never warmed up to me.” St. Cloud took a sip from his mug.
“I can’t imag
ine why,” Exton snarled.
Dennis, known as Reverend Thorne, always seemed too wise and too aloof from the world. While the older man tried to act like a second father to him, Exton never appreciated his efforts. Of course, Exton never wanted his efforts in the first place.
“Even you agree with me, Exton, that inside the Ecclesia there are people who disagree with each other on what to do with the truth.” St. Cloud continued, “But we don’t disagree that there is truth, and that includes the fact that there are things worth protecting and worth risking our lives for.”
Exton nodded.
St. Cloud smiled humorlessly. “I knew you would agree with me on that.”
“What makes you so sure?” Exton grumbled.
“Aerie.”
“You leave her out of this.” Exton felt his hand curl into a fist. He had to force himself to remember the empty feeling that had come over him at Petra when he struck St. Cloud before. It was too tempting to think that physically overpowering his enemy would heal his heart.
“See? You want to protect her,” St. Cloud said. “You believe in beauty, truth, love, and goodness. Just as I do.”
Exton felt his fingers dig into his palms. “I guess so.”
“I’m trying to tell you, Exton, that we agree on truth. But we disagree with what to do with it. A long time ago, Merra and I both infiltrated the URS government and used our positions to gain intel and resources and connections that would eventually help us overthrow it.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Yes, you do, but you still want to hate me.” St. Cloud arched an eyebrow at him.
“You don’t have any proof.”
“I can get some, if you’ll let me out of this room.”
“You’re not going anywhere right now.”
St. Cloud laughed dryly. “I had a feeling that was going to be your answer. We won’t get far if you can’t see past your anger. And we won’t get any further if you can’t believe me when I say I have been a member of the Ecclesia, even while working directly under Osgood.”
Exton grumbled to himself. Playing with possible scenarios was an exercise in imagination and discipline. Sometimes, he knew, it was easier to see truth of a situation if its result was applied to reality.
“For the moment,” Exton finally said, “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. But I don’t see why you’re explaining this to me.”
“You’re the one who came to me looking for answers. I didn’t say that they would be easy, or that you would like them. I only told you I would tell you why I killed Silas, and this is part of that.”
Exton scowled. “I’m not going to change my mind about hating you for it,” he said.
“I grieve his loss, too, you know.”
“Then why are you telling me this?” Exton asked. “I’m still captain of this ship. I can make you walk the plank, if you’d like to prove me more pirate than warrior.”
“I’m not here to ask for your mercy,” St. Cloud said. “I’m here at your mercy only because I chose to be. I’m here because even if I don’t deserve your mercy, I want your trust.”
“Ha!” Exton laughed, but he was caught off guard by St. Cloud’s admission.
“I want your trust as an ally,” St. Cloud clarified. “Not as a father-in-law, and not as a former mentor or family friend. I will agree to leave Aerie out of it as much as I can.”
“Good. I don’t want her mixed up in this.”
“That is something we can also agree on.” St. Cloud smiled. “She doesn’t have the temperament for war. I hope you gave her an easier job while she’s here.”
“She’s working in the Biovid,” Exton replied, instantly regretting his admission when he saw St. Cloud’s obvious pleasure at the news. Before he could say anything, Exton continued, reasserting control over the conversation, “I trusted you before, and I know how that ended. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“You might not trust me, but I still know you very well. I know you blame yourself for Silas’ death,” St. Cloud said quietly.
Exton’s eyes widened in surprise and fear at his words. His gaze shot up to meet St. Cloud’s, betraying his inner turmoil.
St. Cloud nodded as he watched him. “But you should know, as I tried to explain to you afterward, that it is not your fault. The cause is mine, but the fault is your father’s.”
Exton felt his throat tighten as he stopped himself from shouting. “Why would you say that?”
“The day everything happened—the day you weren’t supposed to be there, I’ll remind you—I had orders from Osgood to investigate the reasons that there was a delay in the construction of the Paradise. Silas was in charge, and he made several changes to the final model right up until the very end. I know he was a prominent figure in the Ecclesia, and to this day I know several of the workers and engineers and designers had ‘special orders’ from him. The Ark is proof of that,” St. Cloud said. “And you know that. You were the one who told me about it, in the beginning.”
His fists clenched, hard and fast; Exton wouldn’t be surprised if he’d drawn blood. “Yes,” Exton agreed reluctantly. “I remember. My mom said it was at the orders of the URS that he added in several of the changes off-record.”
“That’s what he told her. I know that was a lie.” St. Cloud straightened in his chair.
“I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t have anything to gain by lying to you now,” St. Cloud said. “Aerie is safe, my family is safe, and I am in exile from my forces.”
“You and Merra have been playing a deep game,” Exton reminded him bitterly. “You’ll have to excuse me if I seem skeptical.”
St. Cloud smirked. “I always liked your sense of humor,” he murmured. “It was one of the other reasons I chose to mentor you.”
“There is nothing funny about this.”
“I agree, which is why it’s all the more amusing. When everything is on the line, and you’ve been dealt a bad hand, a dark sense of humor can be sustaining, even if it is hollow in the end.”
Exton turned away and looked back at the door. “I have other duties to attend to,” he said. “If you’re going to tell me why you killed my father, you might as well get it over with.”
“You know I killed him on Osgood’s orders,” St. Cloud said. “But I also did it because he was going to destroy us.”
Exton whirled around. “Excuse me?”
“The URS commissioned the Paradise to be a military research hub,” St. Cloud said. “Silas convinced them to make it into a lifeboat of sorts. Osgood was the one who wanted it to be able to house weapons, eventually. Remember, at the time, Osgood had been the dictator for over a year.”
“I know that,” Exton snapped. “But he was the second in command, just like you, for years. He’d already had a lot of oversight on the project from what I remember.”
“Silas didn’t like that.”
“No, he didn’t,” Exton agreed. “I remember that. He used to brood over it.”
A memory of his father came into his mind. His father often stood at the window of their small unit, looking out toward the shipyard where the Paradise resided. His hands, with consistently bruised knuckles and blisters forming on his palms, curled around his Bible, his lips moving in silent, frustrated prayer.
What had happened to his Bible? Exton wondered, suddenly intrigued. He made a mental note to ask Aunt Patty about it. It was possible she had it somewhere at Petra, since she’d been the one who inherited his mother’s things.
Exton blinked as St. Cloud shifted in his chair. The memory faded away instantly, replaced by the cold black and red room, where he stood only a short distance from his greatest enemy.
“Osgood gave his orders, but I carried them out,” St. Cloud said, not realizing Exton had slipped away for a few long seconds. “I wanted to give Silas a chance to escape, believe it or not. But when he told me the truth, I shot him.”
“Why?”
“He was going to
gather up the Ecclesia inside of the Paradise and then use the weapons to destroy New Hope and other URS outposts.”
“That’s a lie,” Exton yelled. “My father would never do that.”
“I’m not the only one who played a deep game,” St. Cloud argued back. “Silas was just as tired as the rest of the Ecclesia were, and he knew from Evelyn’s research they were pushing for more war, even back then. Merra knew it too.”
“Her word won’t validate your own.”
“I know. I’m telling you I didn’t want to, but I did. Silas wouldn’t let it go. I tried to reason with him. But he would’ve been risking too much, including the lives of our friends and allies.”
“So you killed my father to save yourself?” Exton asked incredulously.
“To protect others. Merra and I have both watched several of our friends taken into Reeducation and tortured until their will and resolve was broken. Aerie’s lucky that they have designed a way to control people through their memories and rewiring their brain since then. They have moved on from outright killing the dissenters to rewiring them into mindless monsters, like Gerard.”
“He was far from mindless when he was torturing Aerie,” Exton said, thinking of the burned skin and twisted scars on her body where the electrodes had been placed. Her nightmares, when she woke up shivering and moaning muffled words, gave him further clues about the pain she’d suffered.
“She’ll be fine,” St. Cloud said. “She was only there for one session.”
His mouth dropped open in immediate outrage. “How dare you,” Exton shouted. “How dare you trivialize her suffering!”
“What is the suffering of one person against the rest of the world?” St. Cloud shouted back.
“But it’s Aerie you’re talking about,” Exton insisted.
“Everyone has someone they’ve lost,” St. Cloud retorted.
“I know! I lost my father.”
St. Cloud paused for a long moment. “Aerie was innocent, Exton. Is innocent, truth be told. Your father was not.”
The Price of Paradise Page 2
