That we always existed in the now and…lived.
Eventually, the warmth that both of them radiated, the steady, deep rise and fall of their chests, lulled me back to sleep. Sometime later, I drifted on the fringes of sleep once more, brought there by a whisper. A calling. A name.
“Poppy…”
Chapter 43
My entire being seized in recognition of that voice—one I couldn’t pull from the depths of my imagination no matter how hard I tried.
But it was him—that was my father’s voice calling my name.
My eyes opened to misty darkness and…and golden lamplight, and I realized I wasn’t awake.
I was there once more, thrust back into the night that ended in blood-soaked screams.
“Poppy-flower, I know you’re down there. Come out,” he called. “I need you to come to me, Poppy-flower.”
Chest twisting, I followed the sound of his voice, my lips moving but the voice coming out of me sounding so much younger. “Papa? I was looking for you.”
“You found me, like you always do.” The shadows pulsed and thickened in front of me, taking shape. He was tall—the tallest person I knew. “You shouldn’t be down here, my baby girl.”
I stared up at him, wishing I could see his face clearly. “I wanted to go with you, Papa. I’m not scared.” But I was. I was trembling, and my tummy hurt.
“You’re such a brave one, but you shouldn’t be down here.” He knelt, and eyes that matched mine took up my whole world. “Where is your brother?”
“With that woman who had cookies, but I want to be with you and—”
“You can’t go with me.” Cold hands landed on my shoulders, and his face seemed to piece together. Square jaw covered with several days’ worth of hair. Momma called it a beard and often complained about it, but I saw her rubbing her fingers over it when she thought Ian and I weren’t looking. Straight nose. Dark brows. Eyes like pine. “You need to stay here and keep your mother and brother safe.”
“This is her?” another voice asked from the darkness. A stranger’s voice that wasn’t completely unfamiliar.
“This is my daughter,” Papa answered as he looked over his shoulder before smiling at me, but the smile was all wrong. Too tight. “She doesn’t know.”
“Understood,” the voice came again, still familiar.
I didn’t understand what he meant. All I knew was that he was going to leave, and I didn’t want that.
“What a pretty little flower.” The cold hands touched my cheeks. “What a pretty poppy.” Papa leaned in, pressing his lips to the crown of my head. “I love you more than all the stars in the sky.”
My breath choked. “I love you more than all the fish in the seas.”
“That’s my girl.” Shouts from outside drew him away from me. “Cora?” he called for Momma. Only he ever called her that.
She drifted from the shadows, her features pained as she took my hand in her cold one. “You should’ve known she would find a way down here.” She looked behind them, to where I couldn’t see. “You trust him?”
“I do. He’s going to lead us to safety.”
Papa turned to me. “Stay with your momma, baby.” Cold, cold hands touched my face again. “Stay with her and find your brother. I’ll be back for you soon.”
Mist poured in, taking Papa with it as it thinned out. I could hear his voice. He was speaking, but I couldn’t make out what he said. I started to follow because I knew he wouldn’t come back—
“Don’t look, Poppy. Don’t look over there,” came Momma’s hushed voice as she pulled on my hand. “We must hide. Hurry.”
Confused, I tried to see her as she led me through the wispy void. “I want Papa—”
“Shh. We must be quiet. We must be quiet so Papa can come find us.”
I stumbled after her, tripping when she stopped.
“Get in, Poppy. I need you to get in and be very quiet, okay? I need you to be as silent as a mouse no matter what. Do you understand?”
I shook my head. “I wanna stay with you.”
“I’ll be right here.” Her damp, icy hands touched mine. “I need you to be a big girl and listen to me. You have to hide—”
A sound came, a shout that caused Momma to…to disappear for a moment. “You’ve got to let go, baby. You need to hide, Poppy—” Momma froze.
Time stilled as we stared at one another. Her skin thinned, revealing the delicate bones beneath. I shrank back—
“I’m sorry,” a voice whispered.
Momma was yanked away from me. I stumbled after her, but it was too late. There was nothing but mist, and all that remained was her voice, her words. “Howcouldyou?”
“Momma?” I whispered, stepping forward, unable to make out what she said.
What a pretty little flower.
What a pretty poppy.
Pick it and watch it bleed.
Not so pretty any longer….
A hand gripped my arm, the skin paler than mine, spotted with red as leaves rattled like dry bones, and a low rumble filled the air. Shadows surrounded him as he tugged on my arm, the edges of his darkness washing over me—the edges of his black cloak covering me as I stumbled. He too was tall, but his face was a voice shrouded by cloth.
I needed to see his face.
I needed—
I was thrust back toward the screeching and the howls. And the fog—the mist that was around me and in me. It started to break apart, and the rumble grew below me in the ground. And a voice, a voice that sounded like spun gold and windchimes whispered “stop, stop, stop” over and over.
But I couldn’t stop. I needed to see his face. The man in dark moved away, like a memory slipping through my fingers. I followed because it was important. This memory. Because someone else had been there with Momma. Someone who didn’t want to be seen. I staggered forward—
“Poppy!” The voice was a jolt, a strike of lightning, and my eyes opened.
The mist had thickened in front of me, a whirling, churning mass. Specks of gold blinked in and out from within.
“No farther,” the voice whispered, a voice so pure it was almost unbearable to hear. “What you seek is not to be found here.”
“Stop.” The mist solidified, took form, and became more golden. It was tall. She was tall. Tumbling waves of hair the color of fire twined together. A face blurred, but eyes the color of molten silver burned through the mist. Through me. “Go home. Take what is yours, and you will find what you seek there. The truth. Go home.”
“Who are you?” I whispered. “Who—?”
An arm snagged me around the waist without any warning, drawing me back against a warm, hard chest. There was the scent of dark spices and pine as my feet were swept out from under me, and we went down, landing hard on the ground.
“Poppy. Gods. Poppy.” Casteel turned me in his lap, one hand palming my cheek. He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling rapidly as tendrils of mist drifted over his too-pale face. “Dear gods, Poppy, what in the hell were you doing?”
“I…” I looked around, seeing nothing but thick fog and Kieran standing above us, staring behind me and breathing just as heavily as Casteel. Confusion swept through me.
“What the hell were you doing?” Casteel demanded again, giving me a shake. His breathing was harsh, forming quick clouds in the cold. “You could’ve—you would’ve been broken, Poppy. Broken and shattered in a way I would never be able to fix.”
I didn’t understand what he was talking about, but he looked…he looked like I’d never seen him before. Terrified. Eyes wide and luminous, even in the mist, the planes and angles of his face stark.
He clasped my cheeks with his gloved hands. “I told you not to wander off.”
“I…I didn’t,” I told him. “I was sleeping—I was dreaming. I heard…I heard my father calling my name—”
“Fucking mist,” Kieran growled, waving a hand angrily through the thick white.
“No. No. It was a dream, but it was
real. I mean, it was pieces of the night the Craven attacked. Someone…someone else was there at the end.” I started to pull away, but Casteel stopped me. “He was dressed, cloaked, and he was there that night.” I twisted in Casteel’s grip. “I was trying to see his face. If I could only see his face, I’d know who he was. I just…”
My lips parted as I stared into nothing. It wasn’t a void simply absent of light. It was an end. A vast nothingness waited beyond the edge of a…cliff.
“Oh my gods,” I whispered, shuddering as I realized how close I’d come to stepping off into…into nothing.
“It was the mist,” Casteel said, his tone too gentle as he guided my stricken gaze back to his.
“She stopped me,” I whispered.
“What?”
“Didn’t you see her? She stopped me. Oh, my gods.”
Casteel smoothed his thumb across my cheek, along the scar there. “No one else was here. It was just you and the mist.”
“No. There was someone else.” I looked over my shoulder, toward the emptiness. “I heard her voice. She kept telling me to stop, and then she appeared in front of me.” I turned back to Casteel. “She was right there. Where there is…there is nothing. She told me to go no farther. That the truth wasn’t here. She told me to go home and to…” I started shivering, and I couldn’t stop. “To take what was mine. And that I would learn the truth.”
“It’s okay,” Casteel assured me, but the look he exchanged with Kieran said the exact opposite. “Let’s head back to camp.”
“You didn’t see her?”
“No, Princess.” He kissed my forehead. “I only saw you about to—” He cut himself off. “It was only you.”
As Casteel helped me stand, I knew the dream had been peeling back the layers of time, revealing pieces long-buried under trauma. And I knew I hadn’t been alone. Someone…or something had stopped me from walking off the side of the mountain.
We started to—
The rumble I heard earlier returned, this time louder. Kieran cursed as Casteel whipped toward me. Before I could say a word, he lifted me in his arms and ran—ran as far as we could make it before he seemed to lose his balance. My heart seized as the mist scattered. Thrown to the side, Casteel’s arm tightened around me as we fell into Kieran. He grabbed me—grabbed us—as we pressed into a tree that vibrated and rattled like a child’s toy. Golden leaves shaken free drifted down to us, down to the earth that shook and groaned.
“What is happening?” I gasped, a hand clutching both Casteel’s and Kieran’s cloaks.
Casteel turned to me, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying over the rumbling. At any moment, it felt like the entire mountain would rip open and swallow us whole. My wide eyes met his as my heart thundered.
And then it stopped.
The leaves stopped falling as the trees calmed, and the ground stilled.
“Is it over?” I whispered after several moments of silence.
“I think so.” Casteel swallowed as his gaze lifted to where Kieran was slowly climbing to his feet behind me. Then his eyes met mine again. “Who did you say you saw? Who stopped you?”
“I don’t know who it was, but it was a woman,” I told him. “Why?”
“Because that was a god,” Kieran said hoarsely. “Returning to their place of rest.”
Within the first hour of our journey out of the Skotos Mountains, the magic of the mist lifted. The trees of Aios formed a glittering, golden ceiling as we descended the mountain, and I was able to remove my gloves. By the second hour, I considered shrugging off my cloak. The steadily rising temperatures should’ve lifted my spirits, but my mind was still on that mist-drenched cliff.
I had no idea if the cloaked man from my dream or his words were real or a hallucination. The latter seemed the likeliest explanation the longer I was awake. I’d never sleepwalked before, and I had no recollection of rising. That lent credence to the magic of the mountains preying upon me, but something or someone had stopped me. And Kieran had suggested that it had been Aios herself.
I glanced up at the golden trees. Could it truly have been the goddess? That seemed too fantastical to believe.
“Would you like something to eat?” Kieran asked, drawing me from my thoughts.
Casteel had asked the same question no more than thirty minutes ago, but my stomach was full of too many knots to eat more than a few slices of bacon Casteel had offered me that morning.
“If you would like something to drink, just let me know,” Casteel said, and I nodded.
Throughout the morning, both had attempted to engage me in conversation or drown me in food and drink. I just…my mind was in too many places, in the past and in the future.
“I’ve been thinking about when we get to Atlantia,” Casteel announced not too long after. “We need to resume those horseback riding lessons. You’re going to need more than one if you plan to run into the capital of Solis on your own horse.”
Excitement trickled through me. “I would like that.”
“I’m sure Setti would enjoy it.” Casteel guided the horse around a narrow bend. “He will probably expect daily visits from you. Though, I probably won’t be happy,” he went on. “I like you right here.”
“I really hope you two don’t turn into one of those couples who are constantly whispering sweet nothings at one another,” muttered Kieran.
My brows lifted.
“Since we’ve been married, she’s already told me to shut up—how many times? I’m pretty sure she’s threatened to stab or punch me since then, too.”
I did not recall either of those things.
“Well,” Kieran said. “That’s good news.”
“But you’re still going to hear me whisper things.” Casteel’s lips brushed the healing bite mark. “Just extremely dirty things.”
“Shut up,” I said.
Casteel laughed as his arm tightened around me, but I saw Kieran’s gaze flick over me to Casteel, and I felt the Prince nod behind me. Kieran rode ahead, going far enough that I could barely make out the shape of him and his horse. I tensed, knowing there was no other reason for Kieran’s actions than to give us space.
We rode in silence for a couple of minutes, and then Casteel said, “Last night wasn’t your fault. It was the mist. Somehow, it was triggered, and it went after you. I shouldn’t have yelled at you afterward. I’m sorry.”
The sincerity in his tone startled me enough that I turned my head toward his. “I didn’t think you yelled at me. You were just…”
“What?”
“You were just scared.”
“I wasn’t scared. I was fucking terrified,” he admitted. “When we realized you were gone, we knew it wouldn’t be easy to track you in the mist. I don’t know how we found you so quickly, but thank the gods we did. Hell.” He coughed out a dry laugh. “Maybe the gods actually have something to do with us finding you.”
“Do you really think that was who I saw? Aios?”
“Honestly?” His breath touched my cheek. “We all felt the earth shake, and Nyktos did show us his approval. They seem to like you, Princess.”
I worried my lower lip. “I know you don’t think my dream was real—”
“I didn’t say that. I think the mist got in your head, but that doesn’t mean that what you saw or heard wasn’t a real memory. It could’ve been real, and it could’ve been the mist. Both of those things. Either way, what happened last night wasn’t your fault.”
“But neither you nor Kieran almost walked off a cliff,” I pointed out.
“That doesn’t mean we weren’t affected.”
“You were?”
He was quiet and then said, “I had strange dreams last night.”
“Like what?”
This time, he was silent for even longer. “I dreamt that you were…you were in the cage I was held in.”
“Oh.” My stomach dipped.
“And I…I couldn’t free you.” He shifted behind me as if he weren’t comfortable, and I
suddenly wished we were face-to-face.
My heart twisted in my chest. “That’s not going to happen.”
“I know, but the mist still preyed on my fear.” His hand squeezed my hip. “And convinced me otherwise. That was how I woke to find you gone, gasping for air in disbelief.”
Why the mist would lead him to dream of such a thing unsettled me greatly.
“Kieran woke like he was being chased by his own ghosts, roughly at the same time. I think the mist got to both of us in our sleep and that was why we had no idea you’d awakened and left.”
Was that why neither of them seemed to have known we’d all been curled up together earlier in the night?
“What the mist did wasn’t personal, and your susceptibility wasn’t your fault. I should’ve been more aware. I should’ve expected something like that could happen.”
“It sounds like you had your hands full.”
“That’s no excuse. I should’ve controlled the situation better.”
I looked at him again over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of his hard jaw. “Compulsions aside, you can’t control everything.”
“Says who?”
“Says me.”
A smirk appeared. “Well, you have me there. I can’t control you. If I could, I suspect life would be easier, but I don’t even want to try, to be honest. You keep things…intriguing.”
Him and that damn word. Lips curving, I turned back around.
“Princess?”
“What?”
“I saw that. That little grin.” He leaned in, dipping his chin against the side of my neck. “Why are there times you still hide your smiles from me?” His chest rose with a heavy breath as he sat back. “You have a beautiful smile. That and your laugh. And you…you never laughed enough as it was, but when you did…”
I closed my eyes.
“When you did, it was like the moment the damn mist finally cleared. Like when the first rays of sun break through the clouds after a heavy storm,” he said without an ounce of embarrassment. “Your laugh is as beautiful as your smile, and when I told you it was like hearing something familiar? It wasn’t a lie.”
A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire Page 62
