Healing Tides
A Katama Bay Series
By
Katie Winters
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Copyright © 2021 by Katie Winters
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Katie Winters holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Table of Contents
Copyright Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
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Chapter One
ONE YEAR EARLIER
ELSA HAD LONG AGO DISCOVERED the truth of parenting. Her children’s pain was something colossal; it took a heavy toll on Elsa’s psyche, on her soul. As she stood alongside her daughter on that fateful night in mid-June, her daughter’s face contorted and twisted; it flashed red and white and filled with sweat and terror. Long ago, Elsa had given birth to her beautiful daughter; and now, this beautiful woman brought another creature into the world — a screaming, vibrant little boy. A little boy who seemed to encompass everything that life was messy, glorious and mysterious.
The nurses rushed the baby off for a moment. Elsa watched the horror of this play out over her daughter’s face. For the previous nine months, Mallory had grown this baby in her belly. She had prayed for good health, ached for him and dreamed up dreams of his future. Now, they’d just taken him away, as though none of that mattered. Mallory’s eyes found Elsa’s, and she squeezed her hand hard.
“You did amazing, Mallory.” Elsa’s voice broke as she said it. “You’re a mommy, now. You brought that baby into the world. And he is going to love you so much.”
The wait was excruciating, although it wasn’t so long before the baby was returned to Mallory and she held him, bright-eyed and amazed at the little being in her arms. She whispered to him tenderly, “Hi honey,” over and over again, as though she’d lost all knowledge of any other words. Her fiancé, Lucas, stood on the other side of the hospital bed — just a young adult, twenty-four-years-old, in awe. All the color had drained from his cheeks as he fell into the realization that, yes, this was his son that he helped create—an extension of him that would be for the rest of his life. He was a father, now.
Elsa stepped out of the hospital room to give the new family of three some time alone. Once out in the whitewashed hallway, she glanced up at the clock with tired eyes and realized just how long her daughter had been in labor. Thirteen hours! It was now five-thirty in the morning, and the sun had begun to peek its head from the horizon line. She stepped into the cool breeze of the early morning and closed her eyes. Her heartbeat was steady, somber and the blood rushed across her ears, a constant reminder that she remained alive—that she was still here.
Elsa lifted her phone from her pocket to find several messages from her husband, Aiden.
AIDEN: I have to say. I’m so apprehensive. I wish I could be there.
AIDEN: Love you all so much.
Elsa typed back a quick response, although she knew Aiden was assuredly fast asleep. He required so much of it these days. His body was preparing to rest forever. It was like it wanted a head-start.
Elsa returned to the waiting room, where she found her other son and daughter: Cole and Alexie. Twenty-two-year-old Alexie lived in New York and attended NYU but had returned home the previous week to greet the baby – and prepare to say goodbye. She was completely zonked out; her long legs stretched out before her and she had her head tossed back with her long brown locks splayed out every which way. Beside her, her older brother, Elsa’s eldest, Cole, who was twenty-five, stared at his phone despondently.
“Hey, you two. Guess what? You’re officially an aunt and uncle.”
Cole jabbed Alexie’s shoulder, and Alexie erupted from the chair, grumbling at her brother.
“When can we see her?” Alexie asked as she tried to compose herself.
“I think pretty soon you’ll be able to. They’ll just need to rest for a little while.”
“Did you tell her she took long enough?” Cole asked with a cheeky grin.
“Be careful about what you say to her. She’s exhausted, and if she murders you? I won’t blame her,” Elsa teased as she adjusted her purse on her shoulder. “I’m just going to go pick up your dad.”
Cole and Alexie exchanged glances as their faces fell.
“Are you sure about that, Mom?” Cole asked.
It was true that in recent days, Aiden had grown into even more of a shell of his previous self. His skeleton had begun to protrude from his skin; his coloring was all off. Still, that light remained in his eyes, the light Elsa remembered from long ago when she had first fallen for him. At the time, she had told her friends that it was as though time itself had stopped in its tracks.
“Of course I am. Your father is a grandfather for the first time. He can’t miss this.”
Elsa felt resolute. She clenched the steering wheel somberly as she drove the familiar route from the hospital, south toward Katama Beach, on the southern and eastern most tip of Martha’s Vineyard. It seemed almost a crime that it was summer. Summer on Martha’s Vineyard always seemed to flourish with glorious blue skies, vibrant parties, soft, white sands and frothy waves; it was laughter and sunshine and never-ending days.
It was also, unfortunately, the time in which Elsa would be forced to say goodbye to the only love she’d ever known.
Elsa parked outside of her house. Her father’s vehicle was in her driveway, as was her stepmother’s. When she’d left the house the previous day with news of Mallory’s labor, Nancy had been the only one around. But this was just like Elsa’s father, Neal. He didn’t like to be away from Nancy for long.
Neal and Nancy were both early risers. When Elsa stepped into the foyer, she spotted them both at the kitchen table, cozied up in two of the fluffy robes they’d taken from Katama Lodge and Wellness Spa, the business that Neal had taken over after his father’s death, expanded, and managed for years.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in!” Nancy’s sweet voice swirled from the kitchen. She leaped to her feet, an incredibly spry woman of fifty-eight, and beamed as Elsa entered. “Has it happened? Do we have a new great-grandbaby?”
Elsa returned her smile. “We do. Mallory did a fantastic job. Both mom and baby are resting.”
“Incredible,” Neal beamed. “I knew that girl could do anything.”
Neal stood to hug Elsa next, then stepped back to pour her a mug of coffee. Elsa watched her father’s strong back and large, capable hands as he selected a mug. Always, she had adored her father — ever since she’d been a little girl. Some small, scared part of herself longed to fall into his arms and cry.
How was it possible that she was already a grandmother? How was it possible tha
t her husband was on the verge of death? How had any of this happened?
And still, she was meant to be so grateful. And she was! How strange and how honored she was to have been allowed such love in her life.
Her father’s eyes were somber when he turned back. Elsa swallowed the lump in her throat as she took the mug.
“He slept peacefully last night,” Neal said finally. “We told him to ring us if he needed anything.”
“You know, he wouldn’t want to bother us if he didn’t really have to,” Nancy pointed out. “He’s not the kind of man to complain.”
“I think I’m going to bring him to the hospital,” Elsa said.
Nancy and Neal exchanged glances; their looks were similar to what Cole and Alexie had worn.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Neal finally asked.
“He needs to meet his grandson,” Elsa replied with firmness in her voice. “And I know he can do it. I’ll bring the wheelchair. He doesn’t want to live out his last days in that room. You know Aiden. We all do.”
Elsa sipped the rest of her coffee. Neal grimaced, then said, “Okay. But I’m driving you up in the van.”
“Dad, you don’t have to do that.”
“I insist. Besides, we want to meet the baby, too. That’s my great-grandchild.”
Elsa appeared in the dark shadows of the bedroom they’d set up for Aiden after he had been released from the hospital. Treatment hadn’t worked at all; cancer had spread out from his prostate, and they simply hadn’t caught it in time. Elsa could pinpoint a number of things to blame. Over the years, Aiden had worked terrifically hard at his job as a stockbroker, and in his free time, he had given everything to his family. His health had always been stellar; he’d always been strong, fast and lithe. He’d been a successful sailor and a terrific swimmer. He had even dabbled in tennis and weight lifting. His body had seemed an extension of his personality: vibrant, alive.
And now, it had failed him.
Elsa hesitated for a moment. She wasn’t entirely sure she should wake him. And always, in these moments before she did wake him, she worried that, in fact, she wouldn’t be able to. Had she already missed her “goodbye”?
As though his dream-self could hear her, Aiden’s eyes suddenly flickered open. He coughed twice, then whispered, “Is that, my girl?” His voice was hardly audible.
Elsa stepped forward hurriedly and placed her hand over his. Her heart leaped into her throat. “Hi, baby. How are you feeling?”
Aiden blinked several times. It seemed to take him more and more time to return to the world, but he smiled and nodded, indicating he was okay.
“Did she do it? Is our girl a mother?” he managed to ask.
“She is.”
“Wow. I can’t believe it.” He shook his head slightly across the pillow. “You always think about these huge moments in your life, you know? Guess I didn’t imagine it like this.”
Elsa’s throat constricted. “I’m taking you there. If you think you’re up for it.”
Aiden’s eyes widened. After a long pause, he nodded. “It’s the only place in the world I want to be.”
It took a bit of time to prepare. Elsa helped Aiden get dressed, then watched as her father assisted him into his wheelchair. Neal, being a much older man, should not have been so much stronger than her once healthy and powerful husband. It was heartbreaking to watch.
But gosh, was she grateful for him just then, or what.
They drove in the Katama Lodge van all the way back to the hospital. They were silent, save for one phone call that Neal made to the Katama Lodge about an incident with one of their current residents. This celebrity woman apparently wasn’t happy with the comfort level of her bed. Elsa wanted to laugh aloud at the atrocious behavior of such people, but she literally didn’t have the strength. Today was all about her daughter, Mallory and their new grandchild.
Elsa wheeled her husband through the glossy white halls of the hospital, all the way to Mallory’s room. The room was drenched in morning light and it seemed like a portal to heaven. Their daughter was fast asleep. Her lips were closed and her skin was dewy and beautiful; she herself looked like an angel lying there so peacefully.
Lucas was nowhere to be found. Elsa was grateful for this. She loved Lucas, but she just wanted some private moments with her husband and grandchild, whose eyes were closed. His translucent eyelids glowed softly in the hospital light as he lay there sleeping peacefully without a single movement other than the rise and fall of his chest. Elsa, herself could hardly breathe as she stepped toward the bassinet.
Aiden wheeled himself closer and peered in alongside her. He shook his head delicately. “I can’t believe it,” he said. “I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to meet him. He’s beautiful.”
The words felt like a knife. Elsa forced herself not to react.
Elsa helped draw the baby from the bassinet and place him in her husband’s arms. She cursed the tears that trickled from the sides of her eyes. How dare they blur this moment— a moment she wanted to remember for the rest of her life.
“Hi, little guy,” Aiden whispered. “Look at you. You’re already so strong, aren’t you? You’re going to make your mom crazy. She’s going to love you to pieces.”
Elsa’s hands shook as she lifted her phone to take several photos of the scene: her husband, bald, his cheeks hollow and weak from chemo, holding his grandson, who still didn’t have a name.
Aiden’s eyes returned to hers as the baby slept in his arms. “Thank you for this, Elsa.”
Elsa furrowed her brow. She didn’t want these conversations. She didn’t want him to acknowledge just how difficult this was.
“Seriously,” he continued. “This is the best gift you could have given me.”
“He’s your grandson. Of course, you deserve to meet him.”
Aiden nodded. “I know. But I just want you to know that this and every single moment of my life with you has been extraordinary. I’ve loved every moment. When I met you, I knew you would change my life. But I couldn’t have even imagined how beautiful it would be.”
Elsa’s nostrils flared. She crossed and uncrossed her arms. She felt like a child that needed to have a tantrum. She wanted to stomp her foot and scream to God above that it wasn’t over yet. It couldn’t be over; how on earth could this possibly be it? She was only forty-four-years-old and Aiden was only fifty-one.
“I love you, too,” were the words she was able to muster in return. They seemed so inadequate at that moment when compared to everything else. As her eyes brewed with more tears, she said, “I love you so much that it might kill me.”
Aiden laughed and shook his head sadly. “Don’t let it. If anything, I want your love to help you keep living. You have so much of it. And you need to stick around for Mallory, Cole and Alexie. And now for this little guy, whoever he turns out to be.”
Elsa nodded as she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. She swallowed the lump in her throat and silently watched the love of her life hold their first grandchild. She thought about how beautiful life could be one minute and so unfair the next.
Chapter Two
SIX MONTHS AFTER AIDEN’S DEATH
BABY ZACHERY KICKED his little feet at the base of his baby carrier and cooed up at Elsa. Her black dress, the one she had picked out for Aiden’s funeral six months earlier, no longer fit her properly; it hung on her shoulders, as though she was an improperly-made mannequin, on the verge of becoming a skeleton in a science exhibition. She bent down and adjusted Zachery’s pacifier, which he had spit out of his little mouth. On the right-hand side of his chest, there was a little stain from the mashed peas she’d fed him earlier. She would have to change him before the funeral.
A shadow danced from the doorway. Elsa turned to glance up at Nancy, who wore a similar black dress. She adjusted an earring in her right ear and tried, then failed, to give Elsa a smile. Now that Elsa’s father had passed away, they were both widows; they had to be one another’s backbon
es. They had to pick one another up when they fell.
It seemed ridiculous that so much tragedy and pain had happened within the past six months. It seemed ridiculous that Elsa had to say goodbye to her father so soon after she’d said goodbye to her husband, Aiden. Maybe it was all a dream, a nightmare she would soon rise from. Perhaps she would turn into Aiden’s big, strong arms and whisper, “That was a horrible dream,” and he would whisper, “Try to go back to sleep. Things will be all right in the morning.”
“Are you ready, honey?” Nancy asked. “I want to get to the funeral home a little early.”
“Of course,” Elsa replied and reached for another of Zachery’s baby onesies. “I just need to change him quick. Mallory will meet us up there. I think she gets off of work at two.”
“So nice of you to babysit,” Nancy offered.
Elsa wanted to correct her stepmother. In truth, babysitting Zachery was the only thing that kept the pieces of her soul intact. More than anything, she loved baby Zachery with every ounce in her. He looked at her with love and happiness, not knowing what was happening around them. Certainly, not the way so many other islanders cast pity her way. It wasn’t that she blamed them. After all, she’d lost her husband and then almost immediately afterward, her father. She might have pitied her, too.
Nancy continued to hover in the doorway while Elsa changed the baby. It was strangely silent in the large house— the home on Katama Beach in which Elsa had spent the first eighteen-years of her life. In the wake of Aiden’s death, she had moved back. She couldn’t return to the house she had raised her three children in, the house she had so many wonderful memories in, or shared with her late husband. The pain was too fresh.
“I’ve been thinking,” Nancy began gently. “I’ve been thinking a lot about the Lodge.”
Elsa bristled at the thought of work. In the previous week, since her father’s rather surprise passing, they’d stopped taking appointments and they had told everyone en route for their stays at the Lodge to remain home. Their second-in-command now looked over the women who’d already been on-site. Soon, the place would be dismal and empty.
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