by J. R. Grant
Through all of the tears, sadness, and sorrow, I’m finally ready to move on. Justin and Zakrie may be young and may still somewhat be hurt, but they have their whole life ahead of them. And with Parker by our side, I can guarantee my boys will never want for anything.
Since Parker and I have become an official couple, I’ve tried hard not to be so needy. However, there are days where I feel like I can’t breathe without him close to me. Yes, he’s always been around, doing things with the boys and me, but now that we’ve been intimate and every part of our relationship has changed, I feel like it’s all a dream. I don’t want to wake up; not now and certainly not ever.
<> * <>
“Good luck on your first day, boys! Momma is super proud of you both! I can’t wait until you come home to hear how it went.”
Starting the car, the boys and I settle inside before I drive them to school.
Trying not to bring up the current events for today, I want to make this morning as special as I can.
“Momma?” Justin calls me from the backseat.
Putting the car in drive, I glance back in my rearview mirror and ask, “What’s up, love bug?”
Smiling big he says, “Did you and Uncle Parker think about what Zak and I can call him?”
Catching me off guard, I smile and try to hide my concern.
“Why don’t we stick with Parker right now, and we’ll talk about what you would like to call him later on this week, okay?”
Nodding his head, Justin looks out the window and quietly says, “Okay.”
The rest of the drive to the school is quiet. Pulling up to the bright orange cones, Zakrie unbuckles his seatbelt and leans forward to kiss my cheek.
“Love you, Momma. I’ll see you when I get home.”
“Love you too, baby. Do a great job!”
Shutting the door behind him, Zakrie runs up the steps, meets his friend Jimmy, and the two of them walk inside together.
Turning around, I notice Justin still staring out the window.
“Aren’t you going to go in, Justin? What’s wrong?”
Unbuckling his seatbelt, he turns to face me. “I know what today is. I just wish you would have told me instead of hiding it. But I get it. If you…if you see my dad, can you tell him I love him, but I don’t ever want to talk or see him again?”
Great…Here we go…
I get out of the car and walk over to his door. Pushing it open, he gets out and straps his book bag around his shoulders.
“Look at me,” I say and pull his chin up with my two fingers. “What happens today between your father and I is going to be okay. I promise you. I know you are being affected by it all, and I’m so sorry, love bug. I promise, I’m going to do the best I can to get matters resolved no matter what I have to do. Just please-”
“No.” Justin raises his voice, cutting me off. “Don’t stick up for him. If he wanted to see me and Zak, he would have. Even though I miss him doesn’t mean I want to be around him ever again. I’m happy with you and Parker. I just don’t want Parker to leave us too.”
A tear streams down my son’s cheek, and I lose it. Pulling him into my arms, I kiss his head and hug my baby. “I love you, Justin, with all my heart. But no matter how much I want to tell you Parker won’t ever leave us, I can’t. I once promised you and your brother a forever with your dad, and I failed you both. I refuse to do that again. But what I will do is live every single day to its fullest and do my best to give you a great home and a wonderful life.” Placing my hands on his cheeks, I look into my son’s eyes and smile. “Do you trust me?”
Nodding his head, Justin wipes his tears away and whispers, “Yes.”
“Then that’s all I need; your love and your trust. No matter what happens today or ten years from now, you will always be loved by so many people including me. As for Parker, no matter if he and I stay together or we are apart, you know as well as anyone else in this world, Parker would rather die than leave you and your brother. Just be happy, love bug. That’s all that I ask from you.”
Throwing his body at me again, Justin hugs me tightly before letting go and fixing himself. “Good luck today, Momma. I’m proud of you.”
Standing on his toes, he kisses my cheek and walks up the steps toward the school.
God truly blessed me with two of the best kids. Not only are they smart, they are both compassionate and love me fiercely.
<> * <>
My hands are shaking and feel clammy. I loathe feeling this way with a passion. For having very little anxiety these past six weeks, I’m starting to feel the effects of it all over again.
As soon as I spot my lawyer, Ryder and I walk to the row behind him and take a seat.
“Breathe, honey. Just try and relax. Everything’s going to work out, no matter what.”
Closing my eyes, I silently scold myself and forbid the tears to fall. I’ve got to stay strong.
“Mrs. Foster.” I lift my head up in annoyance. I hate that name. If the boys didn’t have it as their last name, I would change it in a heartbeat. One thing at a time, I suppose.
My attorney, Mr. Phillips, stands up and reaches his hand out toward me. “It’s good to see you this morning.”
Shaking his hand, I reply, “It’s good to see you too, Mr. Phillips.”
Taking a seat in front of us, Mr. Phillips leans in to where Ryder and I are sitting, so no one can hear him, and says, “Your ex-husband is here, alone.”
Lifting an eyebrow, Mr. Phillips nods his head to the other side of the room. Shifting in my seat, I turn my body around and spot Kade. His head is down, his face looks like it hasn’t been shaved in months, and he looks older. A lot older. Not like the man I knew. The seat beside him is empty which means Jules isn’t with him. Thank God. I wasn’t concerned about seeing her here, I kind of expected to. Nevertheless, what I wasn’t prepared for was Kade looking this rough. I surely thought he would have that cocky smile on his face and look irresistible. Instead, he looks far worse.
“All rise,” the court speaker announces, and Mr. Phillips turns in his seat and faces forward. Everyone in the room stands in unison.
“The honorable Judge Sportz will be representing the circuit court of Worcester County this morning. Please be seated and turn all electronic devices off while court is in session. If you need to use your phone, please exit the courtroom immediately. Court is now in session.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Parker
Sitting behind my desk tapping on the keyboard isn’t passing time by any quicker. Lani needs to hurry up and call me. Court started at nine this morning. It’s now eleven, and my phone hasn’t buzzed once.
Cruz stopped by to bring me Starbucks. I could tell he wanted to ask me how I was feeling. Instead, he patted my shoulder and told me to call if I needed anything. But what I need is to make sure Lani is okay. I need her in my arms, I need to feel the touch of her skin. I need to see her beautiful smile, the one that completes me. Those are the only things that will make me feel better right now, to take this bound up feeling away.
“Mr. Johnson, you have a call on line three,” Kelly buzzes through the intercom.
Setting my pen down on the desk, I take a deep breath and pray for good news on the other end of the phone.
“This is Parker.”
“Hey, it’s me,” Ryder says. She’s definitely not Lani, but she’s the closest I can get to her right now.
“We just got out of court. It took forever, but Kade gave her everything. He didn’t fight for the boys, the money, nothing. Whatever Lani’s lawyer asked for in the divorce decree, he gave her, no questions asked.”
“Are you shitting me? Did he bother asking her about the boys?”
What a dick. How can someone go a whole year without asking about their children? What kind of father abandons his kids for another piece of ass? Don’t get me wrong, Jules is smoking hot, but the dude helped create two precious little boys. Does he not give a shit about their feelings? Doesn’t
he miss them?
Besides, Kade wouldn’t let Lani have his money. With as stingy as he has been their entire marriage, and after all of the arguments because of the money, something about all of this doesn’t feel right. It’s not right. Kade’s not fooling anyone.
“I wish I was, hot stuff, but he acted like he didn’t have a care in the world, almost like after this was over- he was free. At least that’s the impression he gave me.”
My curiosity gets the best of me, and I ask, “Did he bring Jules with him?”
Ryder bursts out laughing and then replies, “Hell no! The bitch is crazy, but he hasn’t lost his damn mind, Parker. Not yet anyway. Shit, could you imagine if Jules was in there with Lani? Oh my God, I know I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth shut.”
“I know, Ry. I just can’t believe he didn’t fight with her over the money or the boys. I’m still stuck on that part. Did he say anything at all to Lani?”
“Yeah. At the end before their hearing was over, Kade handed her a letter and asked that she read it in privacy. Once the judge nailed the desk with that hammer thing, he got up, slid his avatars down, and walked out of the courthouse, but then turned back to talk to her. She’s out there with him as we speak.”
This girl is a trip. Only Ryder can say something so serious and turn it into humor.
“Well…did she read it?” I ask nervously. What in the hell could the bastard have written? Doesn’t he think he’s done enough already?
“Couldn’t tell ya. She smiled the best she could when Kade handed it to her and then she stuck it in her purse. I have to say, though, I’m super proud of our girl right now. She had a few unshed tears this morning before we went in the room. Other than that, Lani held down the fort, not letting Kade get the best of her. She rocked that shit. She seemed a little weary for some reason when I told her I would be in the car. Maybe she didn’t want to speak with him alone? I don’t know, but they needed this time. I’m almost certain after their talk, she’ll feel much better, like a final goodbye or some shit, you know? Anyway, we’re heading over to the Crab Cake Factory for lunch here soon. You gonna join us?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there. Give me twenty minutes. I have to swing by the store and grab something real quick.”
“Cool beans. Take your time. Lani said she wants to go home and get changed first. Shit. She’s walking down the parking lot to the car now. Got to go! We’ll see you soon.”
“Later.”
Placing the phone back on the hook, I shut my computer down and call the front desk.
“This is Kelly.”
“Hey, it’s me. I have to leave for the remainder of the day, could you reschedule my appointment with Ms. McLaughlin for Thursday? She should be flexible. If not, I’m free the following week I believe, just check my calendar to verify.”
“Absolutely! If I can do anything else, let me know.”
“Thank you, Kelly. I’ll be out of the office for the rest of the day. Call my cell if you need anything.”
“Will do, Mr. Johnson. Tell Lani I said hello.”
With Ryder calling me, not Lani, I sense she’s hurting more than she’s letting onto right now. Regardless, I know my girl, and I know she needs me. Lani may be able to fool the world, but she can’t fool me. That’s part of the unbreakable bond we share. I don’t think there’s anything the girl could ever do to push me away either.
<> * <>
“Parker, it’s so nice to see you again, honey,” Mrs. Charity says with a blissful smile as I walk through the door.
“Hi, Mrs. Charity. How’ve you been?”
“Oh, you know…As good as an old woman my age could be these days.”
Moving behind the counter, she opens the sliding door and pulls out a navy blue box.
“Everything’s all set. Got any plans for this thing in here?”
Shaking my head, I laugh. “I’ve got something in mind. I just need to set it all up first.”
“Well, you do that girl good, honey. The Lord knows she’s been through enough here lately. It’ll be nice to see her and those cute little boys smile. They need someone like you in their lives.”
“She is my life, Mrs. Charity. I will always treat Lani better than good. The boys too. I can promise you.”
Setting the receipt on the counter, she hands me a pen and smiles.
“She’s a lucky gal, Parker. You are a good man, just like your father.”
I sign on the dotted line and place the little box in my suit jacket. “Thank you for all of your help, Mrs. Charity. And be sure to take care of yourself. I’ll see you around again soon.”
Walking over to the door, she reaches her arms out and hugs me. “Take care, Parker. Have a great day, honey!”
Hopping into my car, I take off down Coastal Highway and head to the restaurant to meet my girl.
I’ve waited years for today to happen. Hell, I’ve saved every dime I possibly could in case one day my wishes ever came true. As long as everything runs smoothly, and Lani accepts my offering, I’ll be the luckiest and happiest guy in the world.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lani
“Congratulations!” Mr. Phillips says as he walks me into a vacant room to the left of the courtroom. “You looked shocked, is everything okay, Mrs. Foster? I mean, Lani. What’s wrong?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I reply, “I am very shocked, Mr. Phillips. Why did Kade do all of this?”
Holding his arm out, my attorney ushers me to take a seat. He sits down beside me and pulls out a folder and shifts through the paperwork in the pile.
“I’m not sure, but it’s a good thing on your end. It means we won.”
No it’s not a good thing, and I don’t give a shit if we won or lost. To me this wasn’t about winning or losing. Instead, after everything, Kade didn’t even fight for the boys. He just…let them go.
Who does that? Who doesn’t fight for their own children? To top it all off, I get half of his money even though it’s been hidden in secret accounts that do not even have my name on them?
Of course I got lucky today, but this isn’t want I wanted. Mr. Phillips drew the papers up when we met in preparation of my divorce and prepared the decree for today. Nevertheless, I fully expected Kade to bite my head off and fight me. Something. Except today, my now ex-husband gave me absolutely everything I asked for without saying a word other than, ‘yes sir,’ to the judge. Kade wouldn’t even make eye contact with me.
As fearful as I was when I first got here this morning, the only thing I wanted was to see him happy and say he wanted the boys. I don’t give a rat’s ass about me. Kade and I are over for good, I get it. But Justin and Zakrie deserve to be wanted, needed. And right now, I have nothing other than a crushed feeling smothering me once again.
“Looking over the decree, you should be expecting a check within the next four weeks from Kade in the amount of seventy thousand. At the time of preparation, covering the financial aspect, Mr. Foster listed he had one hundred and forty grand between all four of his accounts. Judge Sportz agreed to you receiving half of that amount. So, yeah, I would say you made out pretty damn well.”
“And the boys? He just forgets about them?” I ask concerned. My two favorite little men are going to be crushed if Kade doesn’t come around soon. They may not act like they miss him, but I know my boys. Kade used to be their hero, their number one.
“Well…” Pulling out the custody forms, he leans in next to me and shows me what Kade agreed to. Not that I forgot. Hell, I’m just in freaking shock.
“You have down every other weekend, one day per week, and a two week summer vacation with their father,” Mr. Phillips says. “But down here, we have stated that the boys are not to go with their father until Kade goes to anger management classes and counseling with your oldest Justin. He can, however, visit with them while you are present, basically supervised, until he completes everything you have documented.”
“And he just agreed to that?”
Closing his folder, Mr. Phillips looks at me and says, “Yes. I take it Mr. Foster knows he has been in the wrong, and if I could tell by his actions this morning, he is paying the price for his actions in your marriage.”
Paying the price…
What do you say to that?
Kade hurt me. He destroyed everything within me. And after all of this time, I would be lying if I said I didn’t want him to suffer something, a little bit…anything.
But after he just let me have everything I asked for while standing there like a statue, I don’t know how to feel. It’s kind of like I feel sorry for Kade. Ha! How can one person have the power to rock my world upside down so bad, and yet make me feel sorry for him? Kade never, not once, felt sorry for hurting me. If he did, he had a funny way of showing it, not contacting me for an entire year.
Regardless, my boys will never go without the love they desperately need. If Kade can’t or won’t step up to the plate, the love of my life will. Parker may not be Kade, and he will never replace the boys’ father, but he will always love Justin and Zakrie with his whole heart and treat them as if they were his own. He’s done that for years already.
We finish our meeting up and exit the room. “Thank you for all of your help, Mr. Phillips.”
He shakes my hand and says, “I’m glad it’s all over for you. You look happy, Lani. I’m glad to see how far you’ve come through all of this. Take care.”
“See you later,” I reply and walk over to the elevator.
I’m divorced…
Stepping inside the elevator, I pull my phone out of my pocket and text my parents. They are probably worried sick. It’s eleven twenty now. I’ve been in here since nine this morning.
