by CK Dawn
“Hang on,” I said, switching topics because that filter between my brain and my mouth was no longer there. At this point, I’d say almost anything on my mind—well, pretty much anything besides the chiseled jaw thing. I wasn’t sure if he’d be flattered or embarrassed by that observation. “Did you even get my message?”
Did he always look this confused? His eyebrows grew even closer together, which I didn’t think possible at this point.
“Message?” he asked.
And how in the heck did he stay so cool about all this? A girl from his home town—one that was pretty much a secret from the world—comes knocking at his door, and he just goes along with it? He should be the one asking me questions. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, Noah stood to pace around the small space between me and the front door. He raked his fingers through his brown hair.
“Okay. This is crazy. And you’re not making any sense. I never thought I’d see anyone from Sea Haven ever again. Yet here you are…”
“Let me start over,” I cut in. This was a bad idea, I thought. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. I almost stood with him and headed for the door, ready to let him live in peace without a reminder of home, but now that I was here, I couldn’t leave. He was the most familiar thing I’d seen since leaving Sea Haven—apart from the stuff I brought along—and I wasn’t ready to walk away from that just yet. That’s not to mention I wasn’t sure if I could get out of this couch anyway. It was practically eating me whole. I swear I was only a few inches from sitting on the floor by now.
“Okay,” Noah said. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the front door, waiting for me to talk.
“About the message,” I started slowly. “I just sent you a message online. I thought maybe if you knew I’d left Sea Haven, you’d want to meet up. But you never responded.”
He dropped his shoulders in relief. “Oh. I don’t really get online much anymore.”
I tilted my head in question.
He noticed and quickly offered an answer. “I get homesick if I’m on there all the time. Too many people posting about home.”
Relief flooded through me. So I had made the right call to come here uninvited. At least, that’s what I told myself. Another point registered in my mind. If Noah felt homesick, that greatly improved my chances of him going along with my suggestion. Pace yourself, I told myself sternly.
“Okay, so back to my story,” I continued. “Like I said, it all happened a couple of days ago. Long story short…” I couldn’t believe I was going for the short version. Usually every story I told was the long version. “I was forced out of Sea Haven and stripped of my magic.”
The confusion fell from Noah’s face, and a softer emotion instantly replaced it. Was that sympathy I detected?
“What?” He straightened up. “How does that even happen? Who—why would they do that to you?”
I shrugged like I didn’t know. Numerous answers raced around in my head. Because I saw something I shouldn’t have. Because I stumbled upon one of their secrets. Because they’re trying to keep me quiet. I settled on, “Because Carson Ray is determined to make my life a living hell.”
Noah laughed lightly. It got the corners of my mouth to twitch up into an almost-smile. I liked talking to someone who understood—if only slightly. After all the people I’d passed on my way here, the world outside of Sea Haven felt so foreign to me, and it was nice to be back in some familiar company, even though I never really knew Noah.
“You must have really pissed him off,” he said with a laugh. I could tell it was supposed to come off as a joke, but it sounded more like he was fishing for information.
“I’m not sure I did anything wrong,” I told him honestly. “But no one will really tell me anything. All I know is that they took my magic, and I’m determined to get it back.”
Noah sat across from me again with a look of interest in his eyes. “When you said they took your magic, you mean without your consent?”
I nodded sheepishly, not meeting his eyes. It almost didn’t feel right to mention this to him. I’d been violated, and I just opened up to a near-stranger about it. But what other choice did I have? If I wanted his help, I had to tell him my objective for going back to Sea Haven.
He ran his fingers through his hair again. “That’s just…unreal.” He shook his head as if trying to process the idea. Then his eyes locked on me. “They’d really do that?”
I felt as if I was sinking deeper into the couch under his gaze. “Unfortunately.”
“I can’t believe it. It’s so unfair.” He let out a puff of air and dropped his eyes like he honestly couldn’t process the concept.
“So…” I got him to look back up at me again. “That means you gave up your magic voluntarily?”
His eyes moved just enough to call the motion an eye roll. “Technically, yes.”
“Technically?” I asked, almost in alarm. Did they somehow force him into agreeing to give up his magic?
He pursed his lips like he wasn’t sure he should tell me his story. Then, like he decided he could trust me, he sighed. “It was a tough decision for me. I don’t know if you know, but I lost both of my parents recently. My dad died in a construction accident two years ago; my mom from a stroke not long before I left. I’m an only child, so I didn’t have much family left. My grandparents are long gone, and the rest of my extended family never really get together much. So there I was, feeling pretty alone, and I had the chance to go see more of the world with nothing to keep me in Sea Haven. ‘Course when they told me I had to give up my magic to leave, I was a little hesitant. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it at first, to be honest. But I was living with this constant memory of my parents, and I thought that if I could get away from Sea Haven, I’d be able to get over it, you know?”
“And did you?” I asked softly. The sound of my voice startled even me when I interrupted his story.
He shrugged. “I think it’s caused more harm than good,” he admitted. “I don’t think the distance has helped. I think only time can do that.”
I knotted my hands in my lap. “Does this mean you want to go back?”
He gazed at a spot on the wall just above my head. “I’m not sure…” He held out the last word as if he had more to say, but he didn’t finish.
I struggled to push myself forward. It was like the couch didn’t want to set free its latest victim. Eventually, I managed to scoot my butt far enough toward the edge that I didn’t sink in so far. I leaned closer to Noah so he could see I was serious. “Do you still feel the pull of the ocean?”
“Of course I do,” he said like it was a no-brainer. “I’ve been dying to step my toes in salt water since the day I left.”
“Do you miss your magic?”
He took a deep breath in thought. “I hate not being able to breathe under water anymore. The connection to water was good, too. But I guess I’ve kind of gotten used to just being human.”
His words echoed through my mind. Just being human. But that’s not what we were. That’s not what we ever were.
“So, that’s a yes, you miss your magic?”
He shrugged like it wasn’t a major question, but I could tell thinking about it bothered him. “I guess.”
My next words came out as a whisper as I leaned even closer to him. “Then let’s get it back.”
He pulled away from me, surprised by the suggestion. “What? I have school. I have a lease here. I can’t just leave.” He stood and ran his fingers through his hair once again. I noticed it was a habit of his.
I stood with him. “Of course you can! To hell with all this!” I gestured around the apartment.
Noah turned to me with a smile, but it quickly faded. “No, I can’t go back. I told myself I’d stay here for four years, finish my schooling. Besides, what does it matter to you if I go back or not?”
The answer came automatically. “Because I don’t have any other way back.” The answer sounded so simple, but I didn’t get the desir
ed response I’d hoped, so I added, “I’m alone, Noah. You’re the only person who can help me.”
Sympathy flashed across his face, but it faded when he crossed his arms over his chest for a second time. “And why should I help you?” His words came out sounding more curious than challenging.
A lump had formed in my throat, and tears began to burn my eyes. At first, I wanted nothing more than to hold them back, than to keep the weakness out of my voice and off my face. Then it hit me that I could use them to my advantage. I hated myself for purposely manipulating him, but I didn’t have any other option than to convince him. It was the only way I was going to get back what was rightfully mine.
A tear fell down my right cheek, and my voice cracked. “Because we both want the same thing. We want our magic back, and this is the only way to do it—together.”
He eyed me. “What’s your plan, then? You said they took it from you without your consent. Whatever you did, they’re probably not just going to give it back.”
“Whatever I did?” I said almost too harshly. The tears stopped for a moment, but a second later, I allowed them to return. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I swear.” Desperation filled my voice. He had to believe me. My voice softened. “But you’re right. I can’t just walk in and ask for it back. That’s why we’re going to steal it.”
Fourteen
It appeared as if luck was on my side. I think Noah’s homesickness had been eating at him far too long because it didn’t take much more arguing for him to agree to my madness, even when I told him I didn’t want to wait, that we should leave as soon as possible. By some miracle, he agreed to go along with it.
“What are we going to do after we get our magic back?” he asked while packing his things for the trip.
I honestly hadn’t thought that far. That was one of the reasons I needed him; I couldn’t be trusted to make plans. I needed someone with their head screwed on straight to help me figure it out. Heaven knew I didn’t have my head screwed on straight.
“We get in, get our magic, and get as far away from Sea Haven as possible,” I’d told him. “Back to the ocean, of course, but not Sea Haven. Not anywhere near Carson Ray.” Or Dr. Sloan, I added in my head. I knew he was just following Carson’s orders, but I couldn’t help but hold a grudge against him for being the one to physically take my magic. I thought of my father briefly, how he’d played a role in it. I didn’t want to be near him, either. Too bad that meant I’d have to distance myself from my mom and my friends as well.
Noah slung his bag over his shoulder and then turned to me, shaking his head in amusement.
“What?” I asked innocently, straightening up from where I was leaning against his bedroom’s door frame.
“I can’t believe I’m going along with this. I barely know you.”
I smiled slyly. “That’s what makes it all the more fun. Come on.” I reached a hand out to him, but he didn’t take it. Jeez, I thought. I’m just trying to make this easier on both of us. I dropped my hand.
“This is crazy,” he mumbled under his breath while we crossed his apartment toward the front door.
We exited his apartment, excitement surging through me, and he turned back to lock the door behind him. After slipping his keys into his pocket, Noah pulled his phone out. I noticed it was a cheap flip phone. I didn’t even know they still sold those. I wondered briefly if that had anything to do with his homesickness, like he didn’t want a smartphone because then he’d be online all the time and miss home.
“Whatcha doing?” I asked. I couldn’t help but be nosey.
“Just texting my roommate. Letting him know I won’t be around for a bit.”
Noah led me to a parking garage and to a silver sedan I recognized from the picture I saw earlier. I noticed the car was beginning to rust around the wheel wells and looked to be a good decade old. But at least it was a car.
“You’re paying for gas, right?” he asked as he clicked a button on his key fob to unlock the door.
My back heated in the area closest to the envelope of money in my backpack. “Yeah, I’ll pay for gas,” I told him before once again eyeing the car. “Are you sure this thing is going to make it?”
Noah opened his door and rolled his eyes at me. “She’s reliable. I promise.”
“Okay,” I said skeptically as I slid into the passenger seat.
“You’ve got GPS?” he asked.
I bit down on my bottom lip. I’d left my phone—including the dummy one—in my dorm room. “No,” I admitted sheepishly.
He drew his brows together and rested his hands on the steering wheel. “You don’t have a smartphone?” He asked the question as if I were an abomination.
“You don’t, either!” I defended. Before I could let him plead his case, I spoke again. “I have a smartphone. I just didn’t bring it along.”
He looked like he wanted to ask why I would do such a thing, but he didn’t get the question out. “I guess we’ll have to do it the old fashioned way. We need gas anyway. I’m sure we can pick up a map at a gas station.”
I remained quiet over the next hour or so, which was probably a record for me. I wanted to thank Noah for helping me, but every time I thought I might, my throat closed up, and I couldn’t find the words. What could I possibly say to him? Thank you didn’t seem like enough. Just as I thought I’d found the words and opened my mouth to say something, Noah spoke at the same time.
“This silence is killing me.” He reached toward the radio but almost immediately turned the volume down. “Sorry. Were you going to say something?”
I knotted my hands in my lap. Normally I wasn’t this shy. I guess being hundreds of miles outside your comfort zone did that to you. I kept my gaze on my hands as I spoke. “I just wanted to say thank you for helping me.”
He glanced my way before fixing his gaze back on the road. “It’s not fair what they did to you.”
My gaze jerked in his direction. At least someone saw it my way.
He shrugged like he didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words. “I mean, we have to stick together.”
“We do?” I asked stupidly before I could stop myself. “I mean, what makes you say that?” I quickly attempted to correct, but it didn’t help.
He shrugged again. “We’re both from Sea Haven. That means something, doesn’t it?”
It did, and I knew it, but I let the idea mull around in my mind for a moment. The world was a big, big place. I hadn’t even been away for a day and already I was beginning to understand how much bigger it was than I could have ever imagined. Of all the people in the world, only a select few thousand resided in Sea Haven, which meant there weren’t a lot of people like us left. Wasn’t the whole point of Sea Haven to preserve our ancestry? People didn’t come and go often because we needed to stick together. And now Noah and I had something bigger in common: we left. He was right. We had to stick together no matter what.
“It does mean something,” I told him.
“You know,” he said in thought, “I’ve been thinking about something. It’s actually something I’ve been wondering about since I left.” He glanced my way momentarily but otherwise didn’t move. “Why do you think they take our magic in the first place? I mean, are they afraid we’ll show someone what we can do or something?”
I pressed my lips together in thought. “That’s probably part of it. You didn’t get an answer out of them when you left?”
He shook his head. “They mostly avoided my questions, but I was so eager to get away that I just stopped bothering to ask.”
I couldn’t imagine wanting to get away so badly that I’d willingly give up my magic. Then again, I hadn’t lost everyone the way he had.
“They didn’t answer your questions, either, huh?” he asked.
“They told me everything then took my magic against my will.” The sarcasm was heavy in my tone. “Of course they didn’t tell me anything. If they had, maybe I wouldn’t be so eager to get my magic back. Best I can tell
, they don’t exactly have a reason. I think they wanted to punish me or something, keep me quiet.”
“For what?” Noah asked curiously.
I gazed out the window. I didn’t want to answer.
“Well, I guess it worked,” he said when I didn’t answer.
I realized almost instantly he was right. Instead of explaining myself, I asked another question. “Why do you think they don’t tell anyone?”
“Tell anyone what?”
“That you have to give up your magic to leave. I mean, I never noticed people had to go through the council to leave. I always thought we were free to go if we wanted but we didn’t because we all understood the value of keeping our secret. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want scientists using me as a lab rat to study my lungs.”
Noah laughed lightly. “No, I don’t think any of us want that. I think they don’t tell anyone because it would make them feel like prisoners.”
Prisoners. Is that what the residents of Sea Haven were? Prisoners? Was that the cost of keeping our secret from the rest of the world? Except if we were prisoners, why did they let people like Noah leave? Maybe, I thought, they let a few people leave every now and then to give the illusion that we have free will. Only then they drop the bomb that you have to give up your magic. I imagine some people stay because of that. The ones who go—like Noah—keep that illusion intact.
“You didn’t tell anyone about giving up your magic after you left?” I asked curiously.
He shook his head. “I was under the impression I wasn’t supposed to.”
“Scared of what they’d do if you told?” I asked. Fear rose within my belly again, reminding me of why I went along with all this in the first place. I was frightened about what else they could do to me or to my friends and family. Was I making the wrong choice going back? No, I decided. I just need to get in, get my magic, and get out. That will show them they can’t control me.
