He didn’t care that she was scarred and damaged. He really didn’t care. He still wanted her, even though he knew she wasn’t all roses and flippant attitude. See, Eppie? Not all men only want happy women.
“Kiss me, Astrid,” he whispered against her lips, nudging her for a response.
Desire rolled through her, fierce longing to connect with him physically. She wanted to succumb to his demands and lose herself in his affections. God, she wanted to. But how could she expose herself to him like that? How could she make herself vulnerable? She was too caught up in him, and she knew there was no going partway. She would be head over heels in an instant, and with that she would lose all ability to protect herself from him. No matter how hard she tried to remind herself not to count on him, to prepare herself for him to leave, she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it. He simply touched her soul too deeply.
She shook her head, unable to keep her breath from shuddering as he kissed her again. “It’s not me that makes you feel like that,” she whispered, gripping his wrists, trying to hold him at bay, at the same time she was clinging to him, afraid to let him go. “You want the baby. It’s the baby. You’re just trying to convince yourself you want me because you want the fairytale, and I come with it.”
Anger blazed in Jason’s eyes. “Fuck that, Astrid. I was in a loveless marriage for thirteen years. I was in a marriage where my soul fucking died because there was nothing to keep it alive, until my kids were born. There’s no chance in hell that I’d get involved with a woman who didn’t fit me. Not again. I don’t have to be romantically involved with you to be a dad to our child.” He laughed softly. “In fact, it would probably be a hell of a lot easier to co-parent with a woman that I was simply friends with, but that’s not what I want.” He pulled her close, so close that they were sharing the same breath. “No, Astrid, your appeal is all your own, and has nothing to do with the baby.”
God, she wanted to believe it, but she couldn’t be a fool. Not again. Yes, she felt that same connection to Jason, but they barely knew each other. It wouldn’t last. It couldn’t be real. She couldn’t hold him to promises that he’d want to retract in a day or a week or a month. “You don’t know that,” she said, struggling to keep her distance, not to fall into the magical words he was weaving. “You lost your son, and because of me, you have a chance for another. There’s no way to think clearly through that—”
“The night we made love there was no child at stake.” He grasped her wrists and locked her hands together behind his neck. “There was simply an incredible woman, so full of pain, and yet so full of vibrancy and life.” He met her gaze, letting her see the truth blazing in his eyes. “I’ve been dead for so many years, and moving up here was my last-ditch effort to save myself and my son. When I first saw the cafe, I thought I’d blown it. It wasn’t my finest moment.” He smiled, a genuine, beautiful smile that lit up his handsome face. “And then you walked in, and my heart began to beat again. You, Astrid. Nothing but you made my heart come to life again.”
Tears filled her eyes, and hope leapt through her. “You make it sound so logical, like you really can feel that way about me even though we don’t know each other.”
“We know enough.” He tangled his fingers in her hair and tugged her toward him. “Unless I’m the only one feeling this way, but I don’t think I am. I feel like there’s hope for the first time in a long, long time.” His mouth hovered over hers, not kissing her, but so close. “Do you feel the hope, Astrid? Do you?”
She closed her eyes for a brief moment, her body trembling. “I do,” she whispered. “You’re a bastard for making me feel it, but I do.”
A grin flashed across Jason’s face, a heart-melting smile that touched her very soul. “Why thank you, my dear. I appreciate the compliment.” Then his grip tightened on her hair, his arm locked around her waist, and he kissed her.
The kiss was possessive, controlling, and desperate, nothing like the kind, gentle words he’d been whispering to her. It was as if all the emotions buried inside him after the death of his wife and son had come to life, tearing through his shields and flooding them both, igniting the same intensity of need that had raged inside her for so long, desperate for an outlet.
There was no way she could stop, no chance of resistance. He simply gave her too much of what she’d craved for so long. It simply felt too right: his words, his touch, his emotions, his values. So, tentatively, carefully, she gripped the front of his shirt and kissed him back.
The moment she accepted the kiss and leaned into him, Jason gave a growl of pleasure that sent chills rushing through her. His kisses were fierce and relentless, as if he were calling to her soul and bringing it to the light.
“No making love on the grass this time,” he whispered as he slid his hands down her hips and lifted her against his chest, never breaking the kiss. “Tonight, we will inaugurate your bed—”
“My bed?” Astrid had sudden panic as he carried her toward it. She’d never allowed a man in her bed before, not even Paul. She had always stayed at his place, always protected the sanctity of her bed. She’d spent too long watching the parade of men through her mother’s bed, and it was the one thing she swore to always hold sacred. “No, not the bed. I—” She hesitated, frantically trying to think of an excuse that would make sense, but before she did, Jason grabbed the comforter off the bed and flung it on the floor.
He didn’t ask any questions. He didn’t demand answers. He didn’t look at her like she was insane. He simply accepted the urgency he’d heard in her voice and gave her the space she needed, as he lowered them both toward the floor, cradling her against him.
The sense of relief was heady, rushing through her like a burst of light. Suddenly, there was no more fear, no more hesitation. For some crazy reason, Jason really did accept her for who she was, and it felt amazing. Grinning, she braced herself back on her elbows as Jason set her on the comforter. “Kiss me, you fool,” she teased, relishing the lightness of her heart. “I think I’ve been waiting my whole life for you.”
“Or at least since you met me.” He moved over her with a growl, shoving her on her back with a rough kiss that made her giggle. “It’s been what, a month since I ravished you? How have you been able to hold out for so long?” He bit her collarbone, making her shriek and scramble to get away.
“Stop,” she laughed, almost giddy with relief that she didn’t need to impress him, that she didn’t need to pretend to be more together than she was.
“Never, woman.” He grabbed her by the ankle and dragged her back across the blanket, a wicked grin on his face. “You’re not escaping. You may not have been fantasizing about my naked body for the last month, but I’ve been tormented every minute of every day, reliving your kisses—” He paused to kiss her, a decadent seduction that made her body sing with need. “And wondering whether your stomach is as soft as I remembered—” He yanked up her shirt and pressed his lips to her belly, suckling and running his tongue in tantalizing circles over her skin.
“Did you do that before?” she gasped, writhing beneath him as she buried her fingers in his hair. “Because I don’t remember that. It was kind of quick last time—”
“Quick?” He shoved her shirt out of his way and cupped her breast with his hand. “Hell, yeah, it was too quick, but you turned down my offer for an entire night of lovemaking.” He lifted his head and palmed the floor on either side of her shoulders, holding himself above her. “But this time, I’ve got the night, and you’re not getting away from me.”
Hot anticipation and raw desire pulsed through Astrid, and she knew that she was about to find out exactly what true passion was. The kind of lovemaking where there were no secrets, just pure acceptance and honesty. She smiled and tugged his shirt out of his jeans. “Bring it on, Sarantos,” she whispered. “Bring it on.”
Surprise flickered in his eyes, and then raw lust. “Damn, woman,” he said. “You don’t know what you just asked for.” Then he lowered himself on top of
her and kissed her as if she were his last breath of air, the light that kept his soul alive, the force that made his heart beat.
It was the kiss she’d dreamed of her whole life, and they were just getting started…
Hot damn. This was going to be good.
*
Jason couldn’t get enough of Astrid. It felt so amazing to kiss her, to feel the silkiness of her skin beneath his palms, to hear her whisper his name as if he were this great gift the universe had dropped into her lap.
He slid his hand across the nape of her neck, holding her more tightly as he deepened the kiss. He needed more of her. More of this woman who carried so much depth in her soul. She was so alive, the antithesis of how he had lived for so long. Yes, she did have a streak of independence, but she was nothing like Kate had been with her cold reserve, her irritation with anything that took her away from her career. Astrid was warmth and passion, and he knew her walls were self-defense to protect her vulnerable interior. Protectiveness surged through him, a need to safeguard this woman in his arms, to make sure that the world inflicted no more pain upon her.
He caught Astrid’s lower lip with his teeth, tugging gently as he eased her shirt over her shoulders and down her wrists. He unhooked the front clasp of her bra, and anticipation rippled through him as he eased her bra off her shoulders, releasing her full breasts. As he trailed the straps down her arms, he circled her nipple with his tongue, immense satisfaction roaring through him as her nipple puckered and she gasped. “Jason,” she whispered. “That feels amazing.”
“Good.” He moved to the other nipple, relishing the intimacy of their connection. “You deserve to feel good.”
“I want to touch you.” She pulled his shirt over his head with a fumbling need that struck him in his core. Her desperation, her need for him was contagious, igniting a fire within him.
This time, when he lowered himself on top her, it was skin-to-skin, the most incredible sensation of her flesh sliding against his. Her breasts rubbed against his chest. Her mouth tasted like sunshine and passion mixed together. Her tongue danced with his, drawing him deeper as he ran his hands over her sides.
She shuddered beneath him as he cupped her breasts, flicking the nipple, teasing it, flirting with her, even as his kiss deepened, consuming them both.
Astrid arched beneath him, whispering his name as she slid her hands down his back, past the waistband of his jeans. Jason almost swore at her touch, astonished by what it felt like to have a woman initiating a caress. It had been so long since a woman had wanted him. It had been years since he’d felt the amazing sensation of a woman wanting to touch him, asking for more, taking more. “God, Astrid. That feels incredible.”
She smiled then, a nervous smile hazy with desire. “You don’t mind if I touch you? It’s okay?”
“Hell, yes, it’s okay. Do anything you want. I mean it.” How could she even ask? Didn’t she understand the power she had over him? Had she no sense of how badly he wanted her?
“Like this?” She slid her palms over his hips and swirled her fingertips beneath his waistband, brushing against the tip of his cock.
A tremor rippled through him and he caught his breath. “Yeah, that’s okay,” he managed. “As long as it’s okay if I do this.” He grabbed the waistband of her pajama bottoms and swept them off her hips in a single fluid motion. He ditched his own jeans and then returned to her side, marveling at her perfection. Her skin was flawless, decadently tempting in its soft golden hues and silky softness. “You’re like an angel,” he whispered as he went down between her knees and kissed her belly button, then lower…and lower…until he reached her core and began to kiss her—
But Astrid pushed at him, trying to get away. “I’m not an angel, Jason.” Astrid arched back, moving her hips as he wrapped his arms around her thighs, locking her down. “Please don’t say that. I’m not—”
“Shit, Astrid.” He slid up her body and cupped her face, staring intently into her eyes. His heart softened at the fear he saw etched on her face, and he realized instantly what had happened. “You need to understand something, Monroe. When I say you’re an angel, I don’t mean that you’re perfect, and I’m not casting any unrealistic expectations on you.”
She searched his face, so much vulnerability in her eyes that his heart ached for her. “You’re not?”
He smiled and stroked the damp tendrils away from her cheeks. “Sweetheart, all I mean is that you’re my angel, the bright light that has swept into my life and granted me hope. Your imperfections, your emotional baggage, your laughter…it all combines to make you into an angel. I want you exactly as you are.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she grinned. “Now, see? How can I resist you when you say things like that? You’re the stuff women fantasize about.”
“I am?” He slid his knee between hers, moving her leg to the side. “Then you women need to raise your standards.” He began to move his hips, nudging against her, teasing them both…and shit…it felt incredible.
“I have no standards,” she said as she gripped his shoulders, her eyes going hazy with desire as she moved her hips against him. “I don’t get involved with men anymore. Ever.”
“Until me.” He stilled his hips, poised on the precipice, while he waited for her answer. For her confirmation that she had truly let him past the gates, not just physically, but emotionally. He needed it all from her. Every last bit.
She smiled at him. “Until you.”
Yes. He swept her up in a kiss at the same moment that he plunged inside her. They both gasped at the connection, and desire raged through him. For a moment, he didn’t move, letting her adjust to his invasion, teasing them both with anticipation as he kissed her.
Then she began to move her hips, sliding beneath him, sending fire racing through his veins. No more slow seduction. No more teasing restraint. The need for Astrid exploded within him, as he thrust deeper, then withdrew, then thrust again, driven by a force so powerful he couldn’t stop it.
Astrid gripped his shoulders, her eyes searching his as they connected. He swore, at the depth of emotion in her eyes, at the way her gaze was riveted to his face, at the desperate way her hands were moving all over his back and his shoulders, as if she couldn’t get enough of him.
“I need more,” she whispered.
“Me too, sweetheart.” He bowed his head and caught her mouth in another kiss as he moved his hips again and again, until the fire was raging in both of them, until Astrid was writhing beneath him. Their bodies were slick with perspiration, his blood on fire, desire and need so intense that he felt like his soul was going to explode right out of his body and consume them both.
“Jason!” His name tore from Astrid’s lips at the same moment that her body convulsed. She threw back her head, gripping his shoulders as she went rigid beneath him, whispering his name again and again.
His name. His name. It was such a beautiful sound to hear her saying his name with such passion and longing. With such desire. This woman he craved so badly actually wanted him, too. It was fucking unbelievable that it could really be this way. A damned miracle. No wonder she made his heart beat. She was more than an angel. She was everything.
“Astrid,” he managed, just as his own orgasm took him, blasting through him so powerfully he bellowed. Together, they clung to each other while the orgasm carried them both, sweeping them away from their realities and into a place of sheer, raw magic.
Jason knew he’d found what he’d been looking for.
Maine had been worth the trip.
*
Astrid awoke happy.
She hadn’t woken up happy in a long, long time.
Jason was wrapped around her, his legs tangled in hers. His forearm was slanted over her chest, nestled between her breasts, tucking her tightly against him, so her back was against his chest. His face was nuzzled in her hair, and his body was heavy the way it was draped over her.
He’d been like that all night, or at least every time she
’d woken up. He hadn’t taken personal space during the night and drifted away from her. He’d actually locked her down against him, keeping her in the shield of his body.
Astrid smiled, wriggling deeper against him. His body was so warm, his muscles powerful even when relaxed in sleep. She felt safe and protected in his arms. Cherished even. And utterly, completely content.
The morning sun was drifting through the front windows, casting rainbows across her work station. Rainbows. In her house. How was that possible?
Jason mumbled something in his sleep, and he moved his hand to her belly, flattening his palm across her stomach. It was a possessive move, a protective one. It should have scared her. It should have reminded her that they were being held together by the baby, just like she and Paul had been.
But instead, an immense feeling of satisfaction filled Astrid. Jason had convinced her last night with his words and his intimate lovemaking that he saw her for who she was. He didn’t simply see her, he accepted her. No, not just accepted, he cherished who she was, with all her ridiculous flaws.
She’d seen his pain, she’d felt his agony, she knew his burdens. He had suffered so much loss and guilt, just like her, which was part of what brought them together. Their connection went beyond the physical, far beyond. She knew that was why she had made love with him twice after being celibate for so many years.
Because Jason was different. He was the man she’d thought Paul was. Everything was going to be okay now. She could simply relax and enjoy the magnificence of the man who’d gifted her with such kindness, love and—
She suddenly heard the loud crunching of car tires on gravel, and she tensed. It was too soon for anyone to find them together. As wonderful as it was to wake up in Jason’s arms, she wasn’t ready to test their fragile connections by exposing them to the world. “Jason,” she whispered, trying to wiggle out from his unyielding grasp. “Someone’s here.”
“Not ready to get up,” he mumbled as he began to kiss the back of her neck. “Stay with me, Astrid.”
Fairytale Not Required Page 13
