by J. L. Beck
I hate he thinks he has something up on me, or Nic, but I can’t process what he said in this environment. Until my father presses on with another revelation. “Don’t you remember, Celia? You and this one used to play as children? He’s the one who gave you that disgusting scar that made you almost useless to me as a bargaining chip for marriage.”
I reach up and trace my fingers down the line on my face. My gaze jumping to Nic, trying to ferret out the truth there. He gives me nothing. His jaw is locked as he stares at my father. Completely unreadable. However, my father looks practically gleeful in his position between my husband and my gun.
He continues the conversation as if I’m participating. “Did you let him fuck you, and you didn’t even know who he is?”
Bile rises in my throat, and I close my eyes for a heartbeat to get my bearings. It’s not the fact that he is one of the supposedly dead Costa brothers, but because he lied to me all this time when he no doubt knew who I was when he kidnapped me.
“Since we are in the mood for confessions. Why don’t you tell Celia what you did to my family when you decided you needed more power?”
My father looks smug as he bounces his gaze between us. “Why should I? You already know my sins, just as I know yours. What difference does confessing them make?”
Nic nods. “You’re right. Let’s just finish this.” He turns his gaze back to me. “I’m sorry, Celia. I promise I will explain everything later, but right now, we need to end this. He is trying to get to you. Don’t let him. He wants you dead, and he will kill you if he ever gets a chance.”
Despite my anger toward him for lying to me, I agree with him. I don’t want to believe my father would kill me, but I know it’s true. I can see it in his eyes. Besides, he had no problem killing my sister for much less of an infraction.
Sensing my struggle, Nic steps closer. His arms come around me from behind, and he places his hands around mine, steadying my grip on the gun. His whisper against my ear shoots shivers down my spine. “I told myself when the time came, I’d do this for you. Take this burden from you, so you don’t have to take this mark on your soul. But I can’t deny you the justice that was denied to me. Kill him so we can go home.”
I don’t risk looking at his face, letting his solid presence surround me as I stare down the end of the gun at a monster. “Why did you kill her? Tell me that at least,” I say, hoping for once in his miserable life, he’ll do the right thing and tell me the truth.
“Your sister?” His eyes narrow, and a dangerous smile cuts across his weathered face. “Turns out she’s not the only whore in the family; you’re way worse. I should have started with you.”
“But why did you kill her?” I scream. My voice breaking at the end.
“Because she defied me when she refused to marry the man I provided her. Your useless mother gave me two useless fucking girls, and you both had one job. Neither of you could do it.”
A buzz is building in my head and along my limbs. Not a vibration but a feeling, a tingle, a demand to take this man’s life and make him pay for all the crimes he’s committed. The ones against me and my sister, the ones against Lucas and Nic, and probably countless others. How many lives had he destroyed during his reign over the five families? I fear speculating on the number.
A few heartbeats pass as I look into his eyes. There’s no warmth in his gaze, nothing I recognize from the man I’ve lived with most of my life. I risk a peek at Lucas. There are no visible bullet holes and I sigh in relief.
Nic leans in and whispers in my ear. “You don’t have to do this. I can take care of him for you.”
I shake my head and square off with the gun again. No. I need to do this. I need to make him pay for everything he’s done to me. Tears are pouring down my cheeks, and I don’t bother wiping them away, especially not with the gun in reaching distance of my father.
“She’s too weak,” my father says to Nic or to no one; maybe he just likes to hear himself speak. “You think she’ll be a good bride? She doesn’t even have the stomach to take out a man like me. What if she has to make an actual difficult decision? She won’t have the stomach for it, and you’ll always be shielding her from the hard things.”
My father turns to me next. “You won’t do it. You’re too weak. Your mother will be so ashamed of you. I can’t wait to tell her both of her whore daughters are dead. Maybe she’ll finally fall into that bottle for good and take care of herself before I have to put her out of her misery.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Nic snaps at him, and his grip tightens around mine. “Let me help you do this. I can help you pull the trigger if you need me to. I can do that for you.”
“How fucking sweet,” my father quips.
I glare at him, letting Nic align his body with mine, fit against me so I can lean into him. We have so much fucked up shit between us right now, but I can’t deny whatever is between us has long passed a marriage of convenience or some sort of deal.
“Just a little pressure is all it takes. One shot, and he’s gone and can never hurt you again. You can do this. You can avenge your sister, and my dead brother, and my family with one shot.”
The absolute trust in his tone threatens to rip me open. I sob and then shake myself to clear my head again. A little pressure to end a monster who deserves it more than anyone I’ve ever met.
“Fucking weak. I’m ashamed you’re my blood. Can’t even fucking kill a man when you’re pointing the gun point-blank at his skull.”
Nic barks out next to my ear. “If you don’t shut the hell up, I’m going to remove your limbs and then let her finish you off. She might have a conscience, something you will never understand, but I certainly have no qualms about cutting you up. How long do you think you’ll last before you cry? Before you beg me to end your miserable life to put you out of your misery.”
My hands are shaking as Nic verbally lacerates him. But then he steadies them carefully as it’s a privilege to do so.
Nic whispers just for me again. “Give me the gun, stellina. You don’t have to do this. I’ll make sure he pays for his sins, and you don’t have to feel any less for not being able to do it yourself.”
I take a deep breath and just know that I can’t. There’s no world in which I can pull this trigger and take his life like this. He may be guilty and an asshole. And he definitely deserves to die, but I won’t be the one who does it.
I just can’t.
27
Nic
She can’t kill her father, but I stand behind her and wait for her to realize it on her own. And when we get home, I’ll tell her how proud I am of her for being able to stay above all this shit. Then I will tell her how much I love her, hoping that she feels the same. When I made that deal to make her mine forever, I never considered she might one day feel something like love for me, but now I want her to. It’s never something I thought I deserved, not after the terrible things I’ve done over the years.
Maybe what I’m about to do will atone for my sins.
She gives me a slight shake of her head, and I take the gun from her. I aim it at Ricci’s head, letting Celia step behind me. I don’t want to drag this on any longer. I simply want to end this and take my family home. I pull the trigger.
Click. Nothing happens, so I pull it again and again. Click, click, click.
I drop the gun just as Ricci lunges forward. I brace myself for his attack, just to realize he isn’t lunging for me at all but Celia.
My mind goes blank. He swings his fist toward my wife, but I’m faster. I tackle him and pin him to the floor. With my hands on him, I don’t bother to stop the rage from rising, pushing out, so I’m punching him in the face. I hit him once, and again, and again until my knuckles are split from the blows against the bones of his face.
Celia is screaming at me from somewhere, but even her voice can’t pull me out of this rage. Because right now, it’s time to settle things between Ricci and me. It’s time to make sure he pays for his sins and for everything
he’s taken from my family.
Her hands come down on my shoulders, but I shrug her off, not wanting her to get hurt, even as I straddle her father and pound my fists into his ruined face. It’s bloody and bruised, same as my knuckles and my own face. He moans loudly and ragged, his breathing liquid-filled.
I stare down into the face of the man I’ve hated most of my life, and I know it’s time.
Wrapping my hands around his neck, I squeeze. He immediately brings his hands up and wrings my wrists with his palms, trying to pry me loose, but he’s frail and old and is no match for the strength in my grip.
I squeeze tighter, leaning in harder, cutting off the airflow. How many times have I imagined killing this monster? Never had I considered choking him to death, and somehow, I’m here.
Celia is crying behind me, but I can’t bring myself to stop, not now. Not as the light leaves his eyes, and he chokes on the only air left in his lungs.
A few more heartbeats later, and he jerks underneath me, then stills, his hands slipping off my wrists to hit the floor next to his body.
I release my hold on his neck and sit back hard on the floor. The jolt jerking up my body, reminding me I’ve taken a beating.
I take my time, steadying my hands, letting the reality wash through me. Taking lives is not something I relish doing, but in this case, all I can feel is a sense of relief at this man being off the face of this earth.
But now I have to face his daughter, the woman I love, knowing that I killed him in front of her.
I drag my gaze to hers. She’s still standing by her father’s feet. Her hands crossed over her mouth like she’s stifling a scream. She’s no longer crying, but her face is wet, as is her T-shirt, with tears, blood, and sweat.
“Celia,” I whisper.
She drags her eyes from her father’s body to my face. And I brace to see the rejection there. I’d never hidden the fact that I’m a monster from her, but now, she’s seen what I’m capable of firsthand. Knowing and seeing are different things.
But it’s not judgment I see in her face, but sheer relief. Like she can finally take a full breath after years of being under his mental and emotional torture. And I don’t doubt she’d suffered in silence in that house.
I want to reach out and bring her into my arms, but again, I fear her shoving me away, not wanting my hands on her after what I just did with them.
“I…” But there are no words for what I want to convey to her. Everything builds up in my chest that I’ve been shoving down for weeks.
She doesn’t speak. Instead, she throws herself at me, half falling, half kneeling to get into my lap and into my arms. I wrap myself around her, pulling her so she is sitting across my lap as I clutch her tightly to me.
All I can do is suck in a breath, and somehow it feels like it’s my first. That’s how I know my life only begins today.
28
Celia
In the backseat of the SUV, I curl up in Nic’s lap, mindful of his many bruises. Lucas is sitting beside us, his head tipped back and his eyes closed.
“Don’t worry, the doctor is already waiting at the house. He’ll be fine.”
“He needs a hospital,” I point out, but Nic is already shaking his head. “I promise, he’ll have the same medical care at our house, maybe even better.”
Knowing arguing about it is futile, I sigh and let my head rest on his shoulder. “Why did you come after me?” I whisper. “I wanted to save him, and keep you safe. But if you hadn’t come, we’d probably both be dead. Thank you for coming after me.”
He shakes his head, running his hands over my back and down the length of my hair. His touch feels so good, and the relief I feel that this is over is a solid weight off my shoulders.
“You don’t have to be strong,” he tells me. “You didn’t have to do any of this. Lucas walked into a trap all on his own. We would have come to save him, but you shouldn’t have been caught in the middle. I’m so sorry.”
I pull back, but keep as much of our bodies touching as possible. “But now you’re hurt. If neither of us had shown up here, you wouldn’t have gotten beaten up.”
“True, but I also wouldn’t have finally gotten revenge and removed a monster from the world.”
I look him straight in the eyes and say, “I love you, Nic. It’s not just because I’ve loved you a little bit for my entire life, but because you’ve shown me in a short time how much love I can have if I just take it when it’s offered.”
He stares at me, dumbfounded, before clearing his throat. “I love you too, stellina. I’ve loved you for a long time.”
His words wrap around me like a warm blanket. He loves me. I don’t understand why he did the things he did, but I know it’s true. He loves me.
“Why didn’t you tell me who you were?”
“I’m not that boy anymore, stellina. I don’t deserve to be a Costa.”
“But you are, you and Lucas both.”
Nic shakes his head slightly, closing his eyes before speaking again. “Do you remember who gave you that name? Stellina?
I Look at him with confusion. “No. When you first called me it, I thought it sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. No matter how I tried.”
“It was my mother. She loved you too, you know. She used to call you her little star…”
“Oh, my god. I remember now. And I loved her too.”
“I failed her. I failed everyone.”
“Nic, you were just a child. Now you are a man, and you can take your rightful place amongst the five families again.”
“I’ve been telling him this for a while, but the idiot won’t listen,” Lucas comments from beside us.
“Shut up, Lucas, before I knock you out again,” Nic huffs. “With your father gone, I need to call the other members of the five families and make sure they know there is no vacuum of power, and anyone trying to change the status quo right now will be handled the same way Ricci was.”
I nod, understanding what needs to be done.
By the time we pull up to the mansion, I’m almost asleep. The adrenaline from the cabin wearing off has me exhausted and aching all over.
As promised, the doctor and even a nurse are waiting when we walk in. They set up some kind of home hospital in the living room and examine Lucas immediately.
We go to our bedroom, and Nic climbs into the bed. I hold on to his shoulders as he lies back on the pillows carefully. When he’s finally settled, I get the first aid kit from the bathroom and clean his wounds.
He gawks at me like he is in awe while I methodically and gently rub warm water and antiseptic over his cuts and bruises. “Thank you,” he whispers. “You’re incredible.”
I open my mouth to respond, but the door bursts open, and Sarah bustles in with some water and a sandwich. “I wanted to make sure you had something to eat. The entire staff is on edge downstairs. I don’t know if I reassured them, but they are all going about their night routines now.”
“Thank you, Sarah,” I tell her, grabbing the tray from her. “But we really just want to go to sleep.”
“Of course, I’ll make sure no one disturbs you.” She disappears as fast as she burst into the room, leaving Nic and me alone once more.
I finish cleaning up his wounds before going into the bathroom and washing up myself. By the time I get back, Nic is passed out on the bed, sleeping peacefully. Part of me wants to go downstairs and check on Lucas, but my battered body is too exhausted, and I know he is in excellent hands.
Crawling into the bed, I curl up beside Nic, placing my hand in his.
There are still many things we need to figure out, but right now, all I can think about is how happy I am to be here with him.
We’re safe… and I’m home.
Epilogue
Nic
One month later
Keeping my voice low, I give my instructions to Soo. “Make the calls, tell them when and where we are meeting today, and ensure everyone knows where they stand on this
. I won’t tolerate anyone trying to defy me.”
“Are you sure you want me to do this?”
I stare at my friend, who suddenly looks older and a little gray. He’d been more worried about me than he let on. “Yes, of course. I want you to handle it. You are the only one I trust with this.”
“I know, but this is more important than anything we’ve done before.”
I nod. He is right, of course. Taking back my rightful place as the head of the five families is the second most important thing I’ve done… making Celia my wife will always be number one.
“I trust you. Give me an hour, and we’ll be downstairs, ready to leave. Make sure Lucas is ready as well.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Soo assures me. “I also got a call from the rehab facility this morning, updating me on Celia’s mom. She is doing well in the program and asking to set up a video chat with Celia this week.”
“I’ll let her know.” I’m not completely on board with Celia having a relationship with her mother, not when she hasn’t been a mom to her for so long, but I also recognize my wife’s desire to have a relationship with her.
Soo leaves the room, and I turn my attention back to Celia, who has cocooned herself in the covers on our bed.
“Princess, I need you,” I whisper, peeling the blanket away from her. I drag her into me and kiss her lips. Then I lick them and trail my mouth down her neck. “I need to feel your naked body,” I whisper into her skin. “I need you right here beside me with nothing between us.”
“I’m here,” she protests even as she arches her body along mine in invitation.
“Thank fuck, because if you were anywhere else, I would tear the world apart.”
Her eyes flash open to meet mine. “Why?”
“Because you belong to me. And I love you, in case it wasn’t crystal fucking clear.”
