“I don—” She clamped her mouth shut.
“I want you,” he declared, and captured her mouth in a searing kiss that soon had their blood on fire.
He yanked her against him so she would feel the strength of his desire, and groaned into her mouth when she ground her body against his. He quickly lifted her up, her legs locking around his hips and his groin near ready to explode as the heat of her nestled against him.
“I’m going to take you, Sara, here and now, unless you say otherwise,” he said with labored breath.
She rested her forehead to his. “I want you, Cullen. God help me, I want you.”
He smiled and was about to rush them to the bed when they heard: “Sara, it’s me and Alexander. We’ve come to help you.”
Chapter 27
Sara sat crossed-legged on a blanket with her sister, the bright sun shining down upon them while Cullen scooped up a squealing Alexander time and again in a playful game of chase and catch.
Her thoughts were in turmoil and she didn’t know what to do with them. She wanted Cullen, but did she truly love him? How could she want him so badly if she didn’t truly love him? Why then did her heart ache every time she thought about him leaving?
Was she simply a foolish woman desperate to be loved?
Why worry about love? Why not just satisfy both their needs and be done with it? Why be so stubborn? She waited for answers but none came, only more haunting questions. She had almost surrendered to Cullen before her sister appeared. Was it the right thing to do? Would she ever know if it was the right choice?
“You’ll be sorry if you don’t go with them, Sara,” her sister urged.
“Cullen doesn’t want me.” It hurt to know, but hurt much more to admit aloud.
Teresa smiled. “Cullen doesn’t know what he wants. He’s as confused as you are, which makes for too much confusion and disappointing choices.”
“Foolish choices,” Sara corrected.
Teresa shook her head. “It takes a fool to take that leap of faith and know that all will go well.”
“I don’t know,” Sara said with a laugh. “I’ve been leaping like a fool for years now and things haven’t gone well.”
Teresa nodded toward Cullen. “I’d say you leapt and landed exactly where God meant for you to land.”
“What of Alaina? He can never forget her.”
“She will always be a memory, but you are here now with him and that makes all the difference,” Teresa said. “He needs you and his son needs you. The seeds of love have already been planted. Give them time to take root, blossom, and grow strong.”
She stared at Cullen tickling Alexander’s neck with kisses while the little boy giggled and squirmed in his arms. “We don’t have time.”
“He is your husband and Alexander now your son,” Teresa said softly. “You have your whole lives together.”
“Our bargain was made out of desperation. I don’t wish a marriage made from the same.”
“Then make love with him,” Teresa whispered. “And see for yourself if love is there.”
Sara had no time to digest her sister’s remark since Cullen and Alexander joined them, the lad reaching for the crumbled bits of cheese on her lap. She scooped him up and into her lap, while Cullen plopped down beside her. He reached as greedily as his son for food and yawned along with his son.
“You’ll need a nap along with Alexander,” Teresa teased.
“He’s a handful,” Cullen admitted with pride.
“That he is, but a child is no chore to a mother,” Teresa said.
Sara wanted to reach out and pinch her sister, just as she had so often when needed, and this especially was a when-needed time. Teresa had no business pointing out the fact that Alexander needed a mother.
Her remark caused Cullen to glance over at his son sitting so cozily and comfortably in her lap, which made Sara wonder over his thoughts. Did they mirror her own? She favored the moment, feeling much like a mother and a wife, her husband residing not only comfortably beside her, but resting against her.
Her first thought was that he played their game well, but the game wasn’t necessary in front of her sister. Teresa knew the truth so there was no reason for him to appear so familiar and loving with her.
Did that mean he simply wanted to be this close to her?
He had wanted to be much closer just before Teresa arrived, and perhaps wanted to let her know now that he continued to desire her, in hopes of finishing what they had started.
Alexander yawned and rubbed his eyes.
“Nap time,” Teresa said.
Cullen stretched out on the blanket and held his hands out to the lad. Alexander crawled off Sara’s lap and into his father’s arms, snuggling against his broad chest.
Tears glistened in Teresa’s eyes. “There’s no denying he instinctively knows who you are.”
Cullen hugged his son close. “He’s mine and I will always protect him.”
Sara stood with a jerk. “Nap with your son, Teresa and I have work to do in the cottage.” Then she walked off, stubbornly refusing to shed any tears that threatened to spill. Her heart should be familiar with that empty ache by now, she told herself, and would have to get used to it. No one, not a soul, would ever say such loving words to her.
This was all a ruse of her own making, and she had to see it through to the end. She had to keep her wits about her and protect her heart from further hurt. She was thrilled that she could reunite father and son, and that Cullen loved his son as much as he did, but knew he would never love her and that she wasted her time on such nonsense. She would ready her cottage so that when Cullen left she would be set to live her life with the freedom it had cost her so dearly to achieve.
The next couple of hours she worked herself senseless sweeping, scrubbing, and repairing her cottage. When she was done for the day, she could barely raise her arm to wave good-bye to her sister and Alexander.
She was glad that Cullen insisted on seeing the pair home. She intended to return to the keep and bathe her soreness away, maybe even crawl into bed for a nap before supper.
Her plans changed fast enough, however, when she turned to see her father and Harken McWilliams approaching on horses.
She near sighed aloud, but instead jutted her chin up and her shoulders back and approached the men as they dismounted. If Harken thought to intimidate her, he was in for a surprise and maybe even a punch or two. Lord, how she wanted to give the sniveling weasel one good fist to the jaw.
Her father offered no greeting but asked, “Is Cullen here?”
“No, he’s seeing that Teresa and Alexander get home safely.”
“Good,” her father said with a firm nod. “Since I want to talk with you in private.”
“Then what’s he doing here?” Sara asked caustically with a jab of her finger toward Harken.
“He’s told me some disturbing news and I want to know the truth of it,” her father said, and pointed to the cottage.
Sara blocked the path. “I’ll not have the likes of him sullying my home. Say what you have to say here.”
Her father did just that. “Harken says he overheard you tell Teresa that your marriage is a ruse and that your husband will be leaving you. I want to know the truth of it, daughter. Have you played Cullen for a fool with intentions of sending him packing?”
So much for patience on Harken’s part, and so much for her father thinking it all her idea, though it actually had been, but not without Cullen’s consent.
“You would believe a man who’s been jilted twice now over your own daughter?”
“A stubborn daughter who refuses to obey her father or any man for that reason,” Harken snarled like an angry dog.
“Answer me,” her father said, barking the order.
Sara felt herself hounded by nasty dogs about to attack, so she struck first. “How dare you even suggest I would do such a thing, and how dare you believe the likes of a sniveling coward over your daughter.”
&nbs
p; “I’m no coward!” Harken yelled.
“Then why didn’t you face me instead of going behind my back to my wife?”
Sara swerved around along with her father and Harken to see Cullen walking toward them. He went straight to Sara’s side, slipping his arm around her waist and giving her a kiss.
“We met up with Shamus,” he said, explaining his quick return.
McHern answered for Harken. “Harken told me you knew nothing about her deception.”
“Did he now,” Cullen said, his heated glare making Harken tremble. “Did he also tell you that he approached my wife when she was alone and threatened her?”
McHern turned on the man with a scowl. “Is that true?”
Harken sputtered. “I—I—I heard—”
Cullen’s sharp laugh abruptly silenced him. “You heard nothing. Your tongue lies, and if I hear you speak another lie about my wife, I will cut it from your mouth.”
Harken’s actions condemned him. He clamped his mouth shut and took a step away from Cullen.
“Get out of my sight,” McHern shouted at him. “And don’t show yourself around here again or I will run you through with my sword for speaking false of my daughter.”
Sara smiled as she watched Harken mount his horse and flee in fright. That was one problem disposed of, and more easily than she had imagined, thanks to Cullen. She rested her head on his shoulder in appreciation and to whisper her gratitude.
He hugged her close and tweaked her nose with his. “Anything for you, love.”
“My apologies,” her father said, looking directly at her. “But you must understand that through the years you’ve stubbornly seen to getting things your way, one way or another. So it was easy to believe the fool when he suggested your marriage was a ruse.”
“You could have spoken to us first,” Cullen said.
McHern shook his head. “Harken convinced me that Sara was using you to get her way.”
Cullen burst out laughing, and when he calmed, asked, “You believe I’m fool enough to be deceived by your daughter?”
Sara wasn’t certain if she should be insulted or proud and chose to accept the latter. She was proud of the husband she had chosen for he was truly no one’s fool.
“My husband has a good point, Father.”
“You’re right—”
Sara stepped away from Cullen. “What did you say?”
McHern grinned. “Don’t think I’ll repeat it just to please you. It’s about time you did something right for the clan and for your father.” He mounted his horse. “I’ll see you back at the keep.”
Cullen stepped up beside her. “My time grows limited here. One more week at most and then we best begin to show strain on our marriage or your father will surely question my disappearance.”
Her heart thudded in her chest, though she outwardly remained calm. “When do you plan on leaving?”
“We talked about two months but I think six weeks would be a safer departure time. I don’t want to give Balford too much time to find me.”
Sara had to agree with his sound reasoning. The longer he waited, the more dangerous it became for him and Alexander, and she didn’t wish to place them in any more jeopardy than they were already in.
In less than four weeks he’d be gone, out of her life forever, never to see him or his son again. The pain stabbed at her and wrenched her insides. She would miss him. Lord, how she would miss him.
She did what she did best to hide her pain; she masked it with a smile. “By then I’ll be tucked safely and soundly in my cottage.”
Cullen went to reach for her and she moved away and hurried toward her mare. “Let’s get back to the keep. I’m tired and need a bathe.”
“I thought we’d linger here awhile, by ourselves,” he called out.
Sara shook her head, refusing to turn and glance at him, fearing she might just do something she’d regret, like jump all over him and beg him to make love to her every night left to them.
“No, it’s best we get back to the keep.”
“Afraid, Sara?”
She turned swiftly, sending a cloud of dust swirling around her. “Not of you.”
“Of who then? Yourself?”
Sara stared at him, so strong and handsome and defying her to deny him. They both knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Did he believe she would argue the point?
“I want you,” she said bluntly. “Does that make you feel better? Does that make the situation any different?”
“Let me love you,” he urged.
“We’ve been through this before. You don’t love me, whereas I believe myself falling in love with you. Do you want to complicate this situation even more?”
He rubbed his chin, giving pause to her question, and she watched the way his long fingers stroked his flesh, and damn, if she didn’t want him to stroke her naked flesh as well.
“It’s a chance I’d take,” he admitted with a nod.
She recalled her sister’s words—that she had leapt and landed where God wanted her to be. The rest was up to her.
“What will it be?” Cullen asked.
She stared a moment before answering, “I’m going to take a dip in the stream. Then I’ll meet you in the cottage.”
Chapter 28
Sara lingered at the stream as long at she could. She had scrubbed herself from head to toe, her pale skin sparkling pink. She had made a commitment. Actually, she had surrendered. Was she giving into her own desires or surrendering to love?
She wasn’t sure and didn’t know if she wanted to look any deeper into her decision to finally make love with Cullen.
A cloud drifted overhead, causing the sunny, warm day to suddenly turn gray and chilled. Early spring weather was often unpredictable, though she couldn’t help but wonder if the sudden change had something to do with her decision.
She shook her head at the nonsensical thought and marched to the cottage, determined not to hesitate or show trepidation. This was her choice and she would see it through no matter how apprehensive she felt.
Sara reached out for the door latch and hesitated. Would he be in bed naked, waiting for her? Would she need to disrobe in front of him? What did he expect of her? She shook off her concerns and silently scolded herself.
“Be done with it,” she murmured aloud and quickly opened the door.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Cullen standing near the burning hearth. He had taken the time to light a fire and chase the damp chill from the large room.
He turned with a smile and held his hand out to her.
She went to him, and when she slipped her hand in his, he grasped hold and swung her back against him, wrapping his arm around her waist and leaning down to nibble at her neck.
“You smell of fresh spring, like flowers at first bloom or berries ripe with sweetness.”
She smiled and tilted her head back, exposing her neck to his nibbles.
“Lord, how I’ve wanted to taste you.” He nuzzled near her ear. “All of you.”
She shivered at the thought, and he turned her around in his arms as the first roll of thunder sounded in the distance.
“The horses need securing before this storm hits,” he said. “You have a choice. I’d be more than delighted to disrobe you, or you can be waiting in bed naked when I return. I leave it up to you.” He kissed her then and headed to the door. “Be quick in your choice for I won’t be long.”
As soon as the door closed behind him, Sara rushed out of her clothes. She wanted him, but self-doubt still invaded her senses. She might smell sweet to him, but how would he view her body? She wasn’t exactly petite, though she curved quite nicely at her waist and hips, or at least thought she did. Would he think so too?
She blessed her sister for having brought fresh bed linens and climbed beneath the pale blue coverlet, pulling it up to her chin. Then, realizing how foolish she must appear, she settled the blanket just above her breasts.
The door opened, and her breath c
aught when her husband entered and shook raindrops off after latching it behind him. He was such a handsome man, broad in shoulders, thick in chest, his dark eyes smoldering with passion.
Cullen stripped as he approached the bed, dropping his garments as he went, not caring that by the time he reached her, he stood completely naked.
His nakedness didn’t startle her. He had stripped before in front of her. Besides, it was as if he announced proudly that he had nothing to hide from her. He was willing to bare all, show all, give all, and in a strange way, it eased her trepidations.
She pulled the blanket back, inviting him in.
He smiled, slipped beneath the cover and stretched out on his side next to her. He tugged the blanket from her firm grip to rest lightly at their waists.
“We have nothing to hide from each other, and I ache to see your beauty.”
Sara almost protested his compliment, but he pressed a finger to her lips, preventing a single word from escaping.
“You are beautiful, Sara Longton,” he said, a kiss replacing his finger while his hand stroked her full breasts and along her curved waist.
It took only mere moments for her body to flare to life and for her hands to reach out and eagerly explore him.
They were soon teasing each other and laughing softly. She moaned as they became intimately familiar with each other. It was as if they had been reunited after a long absence. Nothing seemed strange or unfamiliar, but as it should be and once was, as though they had been together many times before.
His hands traced over every line and curve of her body, settling in intimate places and causing her to gasp, smile, and moan with pleasure, and then she did the same to him. Their lovemaking was a synchronicity of long-shared partners who knew each other on the most intimate levels.
When his mouth settled at her breast, she knew he belonged there, that she had been waiting for him and him alone to bring her pleasure.
He raised his head and stared at her with bewildered yet passionate eyes. “This feels so right, so very right.”
She understood, for she felt the same. She had hoped to enjoy their lovemaking; she had never expected it to feel as if they were destined to be together, that they were meant for each other.
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