by Anna Kyss
SOUL DEVOURS me. His lips crush mine, while his hands trail up and down my body. When I open my lips to him¸ he gathers me onto his lap and kisses me even more frantically.
I lose myself in the exhilaration of the moment. It’s like my body disappears, leaving behind only my senses. Tasting and touching Soul. Smelling his musk that mixes perfectly with the pine scent of the forest. Looking into the piercing blue of his eyes. Listening to his contented sigh as our lips meet again.
When I finally break away and return to my body, I need a moment to recover. My arms tremble, and my lips feel bruised. I try to slow my breathing. I’m nearly panting, and if that’s not embarrassing enough, the hemline of my dress has inched its way up to my waist.
I act nonchalant as I return to my original position, when we were side by side, with the blankets covering us. Inside, I’m freaking out. I have never been kissed like that before. Andrew typically did the Daddy-approved, two-second peck on my lips, especially when we were in public. PDAs were forbidden.
In private, Andrew’s kisses seemed mechanical, an obligatory stop before moving on to what he really wanted to do. His impatience always bothered me, but I’m even more aware of his selfishness now. I’m lucky I found out about his cheating. If Andrew and I had married, I would have ended up completely miserable.
Worse, I never would’ve known how real passion feels.
“I should have asked…” Soul smooths an invisible wrinkle in the blanket. “Was it okay that I—”
“More than okay.” I can’t help it. I’m completely smitten. Who is this guy, asking if it’s okay that he kissed me? I’m so used to intimacy being an expectation, not a choice.
“You’re right. ‘Okay’ doesn’t describe what just transpired.” He draws me close and wraps his arm around me. “I’m really sorry for keeping you up here all night.”
My head fits perfectly in the nook between his chin and shoulder. I snuggle more tightly against him. “I think I needed to be pushed out of my comfort zone.”
“Do you need another shove?” He turns until we’re face-to-face again then cups my cheeks.
I’m so tempted, but I still haven’t recovered from the last round. Pulses of electricity still race through my body, and my nerves are on fire. I can hear my heartbeat. I had no idea a kiss could leave behind such aftershocks.
Soul’s lips hover above mine. He’s leaving this decision entirely up to me. I like him even more for that. Nobody typically lets me decide, so the small choices—another kiss or returning to snuggling—carry a lot of power.
When I can’t take another minute of his lip’s teasing closeness, I brush my lips against his—softly, then more assertively. His breathing quickens, but he remains still and lets me take charge. I run my fingers along the scruff of his cheek then trace the same path with my lips. I pause near the corner of his lips then scream as something flies right above me.
I open my eyes to see an enormous owl lifting off into the air. Its feathers are varied—some tawny, some brown, and others white and black.
“A great horned owl. Did you see his tufts of feathers?” Soul pulls me close again. “Weird. I’ve never seen one fly so close before.”
“Maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling us to slow down.” I’ve been single for just over a week. I need to take this back to a friendship level.
“We should eat again, before it gets too dark.” Soul grabs sandwiches, fresh fruit, and juice boxes from his backpack.
I glance at the silver pouches and giggle. “You’re really going to serve grape juice on your da… challenge?”
I can’t believe I almost called this a date. The line seems so much blurrier than when we were on that train. I agreed to get to know Soul more to help my cousin, but the chemistry brewing between us has nothing to do with Abby or Sage.
“No intoxicants in the tree, remember?” He shrugs. “Since we couldn’t have wine, I figured—”
“You’d substitute the next best thing.”
“Try it. Who knows what I’ll serve on our next challenge.”
“I can’t wait to see where you take me the next time.” My tone is sarcastic, but my words are sincere. I can’t wait. Soul is a spontaneous free spirit. In other words, he’s as different from me as possible.
I need different. I need to be pushed to step out of my comfort zone and shatter my father’s rules. I need Soul.
When we finish the food, he spreads a blanket across the wood and lies down, opening his arms so I can move into his embrace. As I settle with my back to his front, he whispers, “I can’t wait, either.”
Soul
WE’RE ON the road by ten. Typically, I spend my squatting nights in a restless half-sleep. The wooden platform’s as hard as hell, Colorado spring nights are cold and windy, and I have a secret fear of rolling too many times. The harness would catch me, but waking up mid-air would bring an entirely new meaning to falling dreams.
Last night was different, though. With Maddie in my arms, I fell into the deepest, most comfortable sleep ever. Holding her felt so mind-blowingly right. I wish Sage was well enough to talk because he would have insight about what’s happening between me and Maddie. I’m trapped in a whirlwind of feelings that I can’t make sense of.
We bump up the dirt road, and Maddie braces herself, with one arm on the dashboard and the other holding the handgrip on her door.
“I’m going to write the article,” Maddie says, completely out of the blue.
“You are?” I glance over at her, just long enough to not spot an enormous pothole.
“Don’t get too excited,” she teases.
“An exposé about the trees?”
“That’s sounds too professional.” She studies her lap. “I’m going to research some facts about deforestation in Colorado and try my hand at writing it up. No promises.”
“Hey, have faith in yourself. You’re going to write a killer exposé that will leave the forest industry quivering in their steel-toed boots.” I bet she will, too. If Maddie’s talented at all the things she’s forced to do, I can’t imagine how successful she’s going to be when she finally unleashes her passion. “Hey, do you want to come to the Oxygenator’s next meeting?”
“Your environmental group calls itself the Oxygenators?” She grins. “With such a corny name, I’ll definitely be there.”
As soon as the car hits the highway, Maddie’s cell phone rings. She glances at the number, sighs, and holds the phone to her ear. “Good morning, Daddy.”
I can hear her father’s strict voice, but I can make out only intermittent words. “Didn’t answer… irresponsible… obligations.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I went…” She glances back toward the forest. “Camping.”
Sometimes, I like to stir up trouble. Right now, I’m having trouble resisting. I reach over and press the speakerphone button on Maddie’s phone.
Her eyes widen as her father’s voice pours out. “Camping? You’ve never gone camping in your life. What’s gotten into you, Madison?”
“I thought it would be good to expand my horizons.”
I mime her climbing upward, and she silently places a finger over her lips, pleading with me not to say anything.
“Regardless, the reason I am calling is, the club is hosting a charity dinner in two weeks. Your attendance is mandatory. I’ve arranged for Andrew to escort you.”
“No!” she shouts before re-composing herself. “I mean, I would rather attend with you and Mom.”
His long, exasperated sigh hisses through the phone. “Tickets were sold by the pair. Madison, you know how these events work. I need to be building connections with other members. I can’t babysit you when I have a campaign to focus on.”
Her face drops, and she covers her eyes with one hand. “Couldn’t I skip just this once? You could give away my pair of tickets and—”
“How am I going to run on a platform of family values when I can’t show our family’s cohesiveness? My own daughter will
be portrayed as apathetic, more willing to attend the latest college party than aid starving children in Rwanda.”
If I tell off her father, it’s going to totally ruin the harmony that Maddie and I built while squatting. But her strained look is getting to me. She’s going to cave and go out with that lying, cheating dumb ass.
Maddie must notice how pissed I look because she turns her phone off speaker and quickly moves it out of my reach. “Okay, Daddy. I—”
I clamp my hand over her mouth and whisper, “I’ll go. I’ll be your date.”
Her eyes widen, and she opens her mouth and glances down at her phone. “I’ll attend the charity dinner, but I will be bringing my own date.”
His voice gets louder, so I can hear his words clearly, even without being on speakerphone. “Madison, I don’t think this is a proper time to be exploring—”
“What, Daddy? I can’t hear you. I’m not getting great reception out here.” She clicks the button to end the call and deposits the phone in her purse.
For the next few minutes, we ride in silence. After a while, she says, “So that’s my father.”
“Controlling bastard.” I take my eyes off the road for a minute to see her reaction. It might be too soon to begin the family name-calling.
“I can’t believe you offered to attend the charity dinner. What a joke!” She shakes her head. “I’ll have to see if one of the Alpha Sig boys will go. Thanks for giving me the idea of bringing a different date, though.”
After one phone call from her father, the caring tree-girl, Maddie, transforms back into the stuck-up sorority girl, Madison. I nearly make a snide comment, but her frown stops me.
“I was serious, you know, about being your date.”
“You wouldn’t even be allowed through the door.” Her gaze flickers from my too-long hair to my piercings to my inked sleeve.
Girls must feel like this—scrutinized and judged—all the time. I hate that she even cares what her father will think. For a minute, I want to get real and tell Maddie how much our time in the tree meant to me. But her unrelenting stare settles on my eyebrow ring, and I shut up.
I’m not going to be with anyone who doesn’t accept me. Healthy relationships never start with games, even though it feels like we’re playing one again. Maybe I can prove myself to her at this dinner. If I have to use her competitiveness as my in, I’ll revert to our game.
“If I pulled it off, I’d totally win. So far, we’re at a dead-even tie. A high-society shindig could be the perfect tie-breaker.” I keep my hands on the steering wheel while glancing nonchalantly in her direction.
“You’ll never make it.” Her smile spreads. “I would win for sure.”
“So we’re on? Dinner with your father?”
Her grin falters, and she presses her lips together tightly. “The prize better be good given the amount of trouble I’m going to be in after my dad meets you.”
Maddie
FROM THE quiet storefront, nobody would ever imagine the café served as a hotbed of underground activism. Tea light candles flicker on the tables, most of which sit empty this late in the evening. A hand-chalked menu, complete with bright-pastel illustrations, highlights the café’s specials. A few couples talk over finished plates of food, while the lone server tidies the empty tables.
“Are you Maddie?” She stops filling the napkin holders and glances over at me. When I nod, she adds, “They’re meeting upstairs.”
The petite server points me in the direction of the stairs. When I reach the top of the narrow staircase, I exit onto a loft. More than twenty people are crowded into the small space, taking up every chair and most of the remaining floor space.
“Maddie,” Soul calls. He stands and offers me his chair. “Glad you found us. I asked Elle to keep an eye out for you.”
“I thought we agreed to close our group.” A skinny guy stands up from across the room. His pale features contrasts with his black “Anarchy Rules” T-shirt. “No new members.”
“She’s not interested in joining the group, Raven.” Soul rests his hand on my shoulder. “Maddie’s doing an exposé on the clear-cutting.”
Exposé. The word resonates through the room, and twenty-some pairs of eyes focus on me.
“Cool.” Wren breathes out the word. “Your first squat must have been… inspiring.”
I hope I’m not flushing at her wink. “I never realized the devastation that clear-cutting is reaping on the forests. I figured other students might not realize the impact, as well. By writing this story, I hope others will feel compelled to join you in protecting the trees.”
Soul squeezes my shoulder gently.
“You took her to Grandmother,” Raven accuses Soul. “Did you forget about our consensus model? I don’t recall voting to allow her anywhere near the tree.”
“Raven, chill out.” A tall girl with lavender-streaked hair rolls her eyes. “We talked about how we need more media exposure last month, and she’s going to write a flipping article. Sounds win-win to me.”
Raven rubs his hair in an agitated manner before turning to me. “No names. No descriptions. Complete anonymity.”
“You all use silly pseudo-names anyway…” I stop joking when his scowl increases. “Why would it matter if I used your names? You’re helping to save the forest.”
“Yeah, man. We’re eco-heroes.” Eagle strikes a superhero pose.
Soul sighs. “Raven’s right. Group members do need to remain anonymous. Could you tell the story without revealing any identifying information about the Oxygenators?”
“Sure.” I glance up at him. “I still don’t get why it’s so important, though.”
“You’ll see.”
“Wait until we chain ourselves to the logging truck.” Wren laughs. “You’ll never see your pretty sorority girl again.”
How could she tell I was in a sorority? I feel like I have a sign plastered across my forehead, reducing me to the labels I inherited: White. Upper Class. Privileged, with a capital P. For a moment, I wish people would see beyond the labels. But how can they, when I barely do so myself?
For others to see me differently, I’m going to have to carve out my own identity, figure out what I’m passionate about. Funny how Soul figured that out after knowing me only a few hours.
I settle in as the meeting begins. They discuss pretty common stuff: the squatting schedule for the week, ensuring an adequate food and water supply for the week, and the latest reports on logging activity.
From what I gather, things have been pretty quiet lately.
“It’s the eye of the storm,” Raven says.
“What are you talking about, man?” someone yells.
“The fuckers are acting like they’re wrapping everything up, so we let down our guard.” Raven paces in front of the group. “Something big is about to go down.”
“You’re so paranoid.” Wren giggles. “You really need to chill.”
“We need to get proactive,” Raven snaps. “Let’s plan a real action, instead of all of this harmonious tree-sitting crap.”
Without realizing it, I must have scooted closer to Soul. He notices and squeezes my hand reassuringly. In the circles my family runs in, expressing anger or other strong emotions in public is considered social sin. In my prep school, we even practiced our controlled reactions during high stress simulations.
I want to act like everything’s fine and I’m completely comfortable, but I’m nervous around Raven. He’s way too unpredictable for me.
“We risk isolating the community,” Soul says. “Right now, we’re sympathetic. People might not head out to the forest with us, but they appreciate how we’re trying to save the forests.”
“There are other groups that take a bigger stand.” Raven shakes his head. “Their actions can’t be ignored.”
“You’re free to join one of those groups,” Soul says. “Our bylaws allow for petitioning, protesting, and carefully planned, consensual acts of civil disobedience.”
�
�Your sister wrote the damn bylaws,” Raven yells.
“But they were voted on by consensus, as are all group decisions.” The lavender-haired girl rises. “All in favor of an escalated action?”
Raven and two other group members raise their hands.
“All in favor of maintaining the tree-sit, as is?” she asks.
The remaining group members respond.
Soul stands. “The group’s voice is pretty clear. We continue with our planned sit. Whoever’s in the tree can keep a close eye on the ground, okay?”
Raven stomps out of the room, and the meeting adjourns.
“What did you think?” Soul takes my hand and leads me down the stairs.
I have to think about it for a moment. When I thought about my father and my upbringing, I was completely uncomfortable. But a small part of me was also intrigued. I haven’t been around many groups of passionately minded individuals.
“You’ll have to read my article,” I finally say.
Soul
A FEW days after the meeting, I show up at Maddie’s front door. The benefit dinner isn’t for another week, but my patience won’t last that long. I want to know more and more about this intriguing girl.
When she finally comes down, I study the emotions that flash across her face. Surprise. Happiness. Contentedness. Not a hint of annoyance or frustration. Good. I’m not bothering her, hopefully.
“Want to study together?” I come up with the excuse on the spur of the moment. If it works, we could plan regular study dates together.
“We don’t have any classes together,” she points out.
“I know, but if your classes are like mine, you have tons of work to get through. Wouldn’t we have more fun working side by side?” Hopefully, she doesn’t see through my sham of an excuse to visit her.
She stares pointedly at my empty arms and lack of a backpack. “Where are your books?”
Of course she noticed my complete lack of any study materials. “We need to pick them up at my place.”
She hesitates for a moment then disappears inside and returns with her backpack.
