Tales of the Marvellous and News of the Strange (Hardcover Classics)

by Malcolm C (Tr Lyons

  ‘You must know, Your Majesty,’ the man said, ‘that I used to be a tailor in such-and-such a city in a shop that I had hired from a prosperous and wealthy man. This was in a large house at the bottom of which was a mill, while the owner lived upstairs. One day when I was weaving in my shop I looked up to see a woman like a rising full moon on the balcony of the merchant’s house, looking out at the people. She was so very lovely that when I saw her my heart took fire and for the whole day I did no work as I was looking up at the balcony, peering at where she had been. When I had found this a long business and evening had come, I despaired of seeing her and went away so full of sorrow that my feelings would not allow me to eat, drink or sleep and I blamed myself because of this.

  ‘That continued until morning, when I hurried to my shop and sat in the same place, looking out to catch a glimpse of her. I sent away anyone who brought me something to weave lest this distract me from keeping watch. This went on until she came out as she had done before, and when I saw her my heart fluttered and my senses left me as I fell unconscious. After a time I got up and left the shop, in the worst of states. Next day I sat there thinking with my hand under my cheek, and my eyes turned towards her. When she came to her seat she saw me staring fixedly at her and returned my love, laughing in my face as I laughed in hers and greeting me with a gesture, which I returned.

  ‘She then went away but sent her maid with a number of fine clothes wrapped in a bundle. “My mistress greets you,” she said, “and asks you to use these clothes to cut out a tunic for her and tailor it as well as you can.” “To hear is to obey,” I said, “and praise be to God Who has revived me, now that she has seen that she needs me.” I cut out her tunic as she sat in front, watching me with my head bent over my work, and whenever I wanted to take a rest she would beg me not to put it down. In my longing for her I was happy with what she said, and by evening I had finished the gown and handed it over to her.

  ‘Early next morning the maid came back and said: “My mistress sends you a special greeting and asks how you passed the night. She herself was unable to sleep because her heart was filled with thoughts of you and, had she not feared slanderers, she would have wasted no time in coming to you. She asks you to cut out and sew elegant harem trousers that she can wear with her tunic.” I agreed, and after cutting the material, I concentrated on the sewing until she came to the balcony and gave me an encouraging greeting as I sewed. She did not let me stop until I had finished.

  ‘I then went home in a state of perplexity, not knowing how I was to feed myself, but before I knew it, as I was sitting there, the maid came to me and said: “My master sends you his greetings.” I was alarmed to hear her mention her master, fearing that he might have found out about me, but she said: “Don’t be afraid; there is nothing but good here. My mistress brought you to his notice with subtlety and things are going as you would wish.” I went happily to the man, and we exchanged greetings, after which he welcomed me and asked kindly about how I was. He then called for some chests, from which he removed clothes of dabiqi linen, from which he told me to cut him out some good shirts. I cut twenty from the linen and the same number from byssus and again from Marwaz cotton, and I went on working until it was dark without breaking my fast or tasting any food.

  ‘ “How much do I owe you for your work?” the man asked me, and when I made no reply he said: “Tell me and don’t be shy.” I then said that I would take nothing, and when he said: “You must,” I said: “Twenty dirhams.” Then behind him came the lady who seemed angry with me and said: “How is it that you are going to take dirhams?” When I understood this, I told the man that I would take nothing that night, and I went off and applied myself to the work, although I had absolutely no money at all. For three days all I had to eat was two ounces of bread and nothing more, and I was dying of hunger. Then, when the work was finished, the maid came and asked me what I had done with the material, and I told her that it was finished. She said: “Take it and go up.” So I took it and went with her to the lady’s husband and when I handed it over to him he wanted to pay me, but I swore that I would not take anything, and said: “What is this work worth? The days are long and here am I in front of you and at your service.” He thanked me, and I went back home but I could not sleep that night thanks to hunger and the evil state that I was in. My livelihood had vanished because of the work that I had done for the lady and her husband.

  ‘Next morning I went to my shop, but before I had finished opening it a messenger came from the husband and I went to him. “Abu’l-Ghusn,” he said, “you have been kind enough to make those clothes, and I’m sorry that you have taken no payment. I have decided that I want some jubbahs cut out for me and I want you to take charge of the work and do it well. This time I shall pay you and take no refusal, so cut me out five jubbahs.” I did this and went away in the worst of states, dying of hunger. Every day I had to think carefully of what I could spend, but when I thought over the lady’s beauty I set no store by my sufferings, telling myself that one kiss from her would wash them all away, and if I took possession of that lovely face I would not care how much I had to endure. So I sewed the linings and brought them to the man, who approved of my work and thanked me profusely. “May God grant you a good reward, Abu’l-Ghusn,” he said, “and I want you to accept payment for all your work.” He called for a purse in order to weigh out the amount, and I was wanting as little as possible and that only because I was so poor. Then, when I was thinking of taking it, his wife gestured to me from a distance that I should take nothing, implying that if I took a single dirham she would be angry with me. This alarmed me, and I said to the man: “Don’t be in a hurry, sir. There is plenty of time, and nothing that you have is going to be lost, nor am I so poor that I need it now.” I went on insisting until he removed the money and thanked me.

  ‘I left him not knowing what to do now that I had lost the money, but my heart was inflamed by my love for the girl. So I went back home suffering from a combination of love, poverty, hunger, nakedness and exhaustion, but I encouraged myself with the promise that I would get what I wanted.

  ‘The woman had told her husband of my feelings for her and that I was trying to make advances to her. The two of them had decided to amuse themselves at my expense by using me, unwittingly, to make their clothes. When I had finished all the work she had given me she began to watch and when she saw her husband weighing out the money she sent her maid, who said: “My mistress greets you and asks you to lend her money at such-and-such a time.” I could not say no, and so the girl began to take every dirham of mine that could be found. I was left with little or nothing to live on but most deeply in love. The lady would make me promises and quieten me by telling me not to spoil what I had done and she would contrive something that would very soon lead to my advantage.

  ‘One day when I was sitting with my eyes fixed on the balcony I was joined by an old teacher of mine. He saw the girl and understood what was happening to me. He jumped up and went off to his house and came back later with three large pieces of cloth. “Abu’l-Ghusn,” he said, “I know the magic of the stars and am an expert in spells. You know that I am fond of you. I have investigated your star and have discovered that you are deeply in love with a girl who is in love with you, but you need the help of incense, spells and a charm which has to be written for you when your lucky star is in the ascendant. When this is fastened on your arm and she sets eyes on you, she will not be able to restrain herself from throwing herself on you and looking for union with you. You will then get what you want.”

  ‘I was delighted by this, hoping that he would bring me relief and that with the help of his magic I might achieve my desire. I told him that I was in difficulties and began to complain to him of what I suffered thanks to my love. He said that he would get me to my goal and asked me to quickly sew up what he had brought as clothes. He added that I would need drugs and perfumes, saying that, were he not a friend, he would ask money for this. Perfumes had to be got to use a
s incense in the place where he was going to write the charm, and for these and the censer he would need many dirhams and he suggested that I should weigh out the necessary cash. ‘I shall write out the charm myself in friendship and solidarity with you,’ he promised. I got up immediately and borrowed money, which I passed over to him, and he got a large quantity of perfume and incense. I told him that I would sew his clothes as quickly as I could and urged him not to fail to satisfy my wants.

  ‘I began to sew and went on night and day until in two days’ time I had finished. I brought the clothes to him, telling myself that, as he had volunteered to do what I needed, I should give him a present. So I sold a garment of mine and bought a gift, which I presented to him. He refused to accept it until I had pressed him, after which I waited expectantly. Five days later he brought me a small amulet tied up and told me: “I have done what you wanted, so take this amulet and fasten it on yourself in this hour and you will see that what I told you was true.”

  ‘I took the amulet and fastened it on some time before the girl made her appearance. I went forward laughing and saying to myself: “I wish you knew that I had enchanted you so that I can take possession of you whether you like it or not.” Her maid then came up and, after passing on her greetings, said: “My lady says that a happy ending is near at hand for you in spite of her husband, who has gone out on business to one of his estates, where he will stay for some days and then you can get what you want.” I thanked her and told myself how expert the teacher was in magic and spells, and I spent a happy night, not believing that dawn would ever come. Although I did not know it, the woman had told her husband about me.

  ‘In the morning the maid came to me and said: “My mistress sends you her greetings. She is overcome with longing for you and says that her husband is intending to leave this coming night, so stay where you are.” I could not believe that evening would come until I saw her husband ride away dressed in travelling clothes. I then realized that I had got what I wanted, and when it was dark the maid came and told me to get up, which I did, not believing in my happiness.

  ‘When I entered the house the lady met me and said, after welcoming me: “My heart’s blood and its fruit, I could not rest or settle down until my husband left. Praise be to God Who has united the two of us in perfect happiness.” She called for food, which was put in front of us, and I enjoyed a kiss from her. Then, when we had finished eating and washed our hands, I said to her: “Lady, give me a kiss to bring back my life, for I am dying.” “Silly fellow,” she said, “what is the hurry? The whole night is before us in which you can get what you want.”

  ‘Before she had finished speaking I heard a violent knocking on the door. “What is that?” I asked, and she said: “By God, my husband has come and is at the door.” “Oh, oh! What are you saying?” I exclaimed. “You heard,” she said, and when I asked what I should do, she said: “By God, I don’t know,” and I stayed in a state of bewilderment. Then she said: “Get up, and I shall fasten you to the millstone in place of the mule. When my husband comes and falls into a weary sleep we can go back to eating and drinking.” “Hurry!” I told her, and she quickly untied the mule and put me in its place, snuffing out the candle. “Don’t stop going round, God help you,” she told me, and then she left me and went off to open the door for her husband, who came in and sat down for a time.

  ‘I was going round in circles and when I stopped for a rest I heard him say: “What’s wrong with that wretched mule? He’s not moving normally tonight, and we have a lot of grain to be milled, so when is it going to be finished?” He got up and went to the mill, where he poured grain in the hopper before coming to me with a whip with which he kept on striking my legs as I ran while shouting at me in the darkness as the grain was being ground. He kept pretending not to know me until it was almost dawn, and whenever I wanted to rest he would come up and strike me painfully, saying: “Miserable beast, what’s wrong with you tonight that you can’t go round?”

  ‘When dawn broke he went back up to his own quarters, and I stopped like a dead man, still fastened to the ropes and the wooden pole. The maid then came, exclaiming how sorry she was for what had happened to me. “Neither I nor my mistress could sleep last night because we were so worried about you,” she told me, but I couldn’t make any reply. So I left, half-dead with exhaustion and my beating, and when I got home I found that my teacher who had written the charm was there. He greeted me, blessed me and said: “I can read happiness, coquetry, kisses and embraces in your face.” I cursed him for a liar and a cuckold and told him that I had spent the night grinding grain in the place of a mule and being beaten until morning. “Tell me your story,” he said, and when I did he told me: “Your star does not accord with hers, but if you want I shall alter the charm.” I told him that there was another piece of his material in the house which he wanted me to tailor for him, and I then went to the shop, where I sat waiting for someone to bring me some work that might help me out of my difficulties.

  ‘While I was sitting there the maid came. “How are you, sir?” she asked. “My mistress sends you a special greeting as her heart is consumed by fire. But don’t be sad as the way is open for you.” I told her to go away as all the grain must have been milled. “Glory to God,” she exclaimed, “it looks as though you suspected my mistress of being responsible for this!” “Leave me,” I told her, “for God may send me someone for whom I can do some work and so earn some spending money. I don’t want to speak to your mistress or to have her speak to me.”

  ‘The maid went off and told the lady what I had said and before I knew it she came out on the balcony with her hand on her cheek pretending to weep and saying: “Delight of my eyes, how are you?” I made no reply but when she came up swearing a great oath that she had had nothing to do with what happened to me, when I looked at her lovely face, I enjoyed this so much that I forgot the pain of my beating and accepted her excuse, telling myself: “No lie can come from a face as beautiful as this.” So we exchanged greetings and talked for a long time, after which I went on working for her without pay.

  ‘Some days later the maid came back and said: “My mistress greets you and says that my master intends to spend the night with a missing friend. She says that when she knows that he has got there, she will get you to come to her house and when the entrances are locked she will bring you out and you can enjoy the best of nights in exchange for your earlier sufferings, and you will receive in full all that you missed.”

  ‘In fact, her husband had said: “The hunchback has regretted his friendship with you,” to which she had replied: “Let me play one more trick on him that will make him notorious throughout the city without my knowing anything about it.” In the evening the maid came and brought me into the house and concealed me there until the entrances were locked and there were no passers-by. Then I was taken out, and when the lady saw me she welcomed me and exclaimed: “God knows what love I have for you in my heart. By God, I really long for you and tonight you will get all that you missed and be freed from grief.” She had food brought in, but I told her to give me a quick kiss as she was dearer to me than life itself. Before I had finished speaking out came her husband from one of the rooms. He caught hold of me and said: “You vicious fellow, is this how you reward me? I introduced you into my house and chose you over all the others and now you have come to betray and disgrace me. By God, I’m not going to let you go until I’ve taken you before the police chief.”

  ‘In the morning I was taken out and given a hundred lashes, after which I was paraded round the town on the back of a camel, while a man shouted out: “This is a criminal who assaults men’s wives.” I was then driven out of the city and went off not knowing where to go until I found these fellow sufferers and joined them.’

  The king laughed so heartily at this story that he almost fainted and he then placed the hunchback on one side. This is his tale.

  The Story of the One-eyed Man

  The king then summoned the one-eyed man, and
this was his tale. After calling down God’s blessing on the king he said: ‘The story that I have to tell is wonderful and strange. I was a butcher in my town selling meat and raising rams, which I fattened up before slaughtering them. My customers were important and wealthy men who vied with one another for my meat because of its excellence, so that I became very rich and acquired houses and estates. This went on for a time, but one day when I was in my shop selling meat an old man with a huge beard stopped and pushed money towards me, telling me to give him some of it. I was happy to do this and when I had given him good meat I looked at his coins and found that they were beautifully engraved and almost translucently white. I put them aside but when I opened their box, wanting to bring them out and use them to buy sheep, all that I found in it was bits of paper shaped to look like dirhams. I slapped my face and began to laugh until a crowd collected and I surprised them by telling them what had happened.

  ‘Then I went on with my business and slaughtered a large ram, which I hung up within my shop, while I took out slices of meat from it and fastened them by the shop door, saying to myself that I hoped that the old man would come. Shortly afterwards he did, and I took hold of him and called the people to come and listen to my story, describing him as a shameless rogue. When he heard this, the man said: “Which would you prefer, to let me go or to have me disgrace you?” “How could you do that, you rogue?” I asked, to which he replied: “You sell human flesh and say that it comes from a ram.” “That’s a lie, damn you,” I retorted, but he then claimed that hung up in the shop was a human corpse. “If what you say is true,” I told him, “the sultan can have my blood and my wealth.” He then called to the people that if they wanted to check that he was telling the truth they should go into the shop. They rushed in and found that the ram that I had slaughtered had turned into a man and was hanging there.