Ian lifted me onto him, penetrating me with all the promise I was seeking. I laid my head back, letting the water run over us while I moved against him. He thrust once, twice, then he stopped and I looked up into his eyes. They were dark, clouded with passion and that same look of fear I’d seen earlier.
“I was afraid I would not be able to find you.” He kissed me gently. “Then I was afraid that I’d kill him.”
“I was afraid too,” I whispered back before claiming his lips and thrusting against him.
We stepped out of the shower, well, Ian did. I clung to his body, refusing to let him go for even a moment. He was still inside me while he stepped to the bed and he gently lowered me down on it. He continued kissing me while our bodies found a rhythm together. Our mouths and hands fought desperately to caress and taste every part of each other that we could reach without separating. We ground our bodies against each other, each thrust more demanding. I felt the warmth begin to build low in my body until it was a full-blown flame engulfing every thought, every fear, from me. It built and built until that final crescendo when my body exploded in white-hot release. With one final thrust Ian joined me as he exploded inside me until we were nothing but sweating, pulsing beings.
I was safe.
I was with Ian.
I was home.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Dawn came and took Ian with it. I followed soon after, for the first time in days feeling secure.
That evening, while Ian and I sat in the study, I finally told him everything that had happened. He listened calmly although I had the feeling he was like a duck on the pond, all peaceful grace on the surface with a flurry of motion underneath. I saw him clench and unclench his hands, his jaw ticking in suppressed fury.
“I had gathered most of it from you on the ride back,” he admitted quietly.
“I know.” I smiled. “I felt you there.”
“You did not block me?” he asked curiously.
“No.” I shook my head. “I may not want you to know my every thought, but I knew you needed to know what happened and I wasn’t ready to talk about it.”
“You trusted me.” He smiled.
“Do I have a reason not to?” I angled my head.
“I will never give you a reason not to trust me again, My Love. You have my word.” He kissed me with all the promise in his words.
I heard a throat clear. “I see you’re feeling much better.” Cougar barely suppressed a grin.
Ian waved him off without ending the kiss.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but Luke needs you downstairs,” he said, his voice turning serious.
I pulled away from Ian. “What’s Lucas still doing here?”
Ian flashed Cougar a look. Cougar threw up his hands in mock surrender and left the room.
“There are still some things we need to discuss, My Love.”
I leaned back. “Such as…”
“Luke is here to help Joaquín.”
Shit! I hadn’t really thought about what they’d done with Joaquín. I guess I assumed they took him to the police, or SINS. I really didn’t want to think about Joaquín at all. Did I feel guilty about that? Hell no.
“Why didn’t you take him to the cops, turn him in? He kidnapped me, dammit! I’m sure Wilson…”
“Wilson doesn’t know, My Love. No one does.”
“But why…” Why hadn’t they enlisted help to find me? What the hell was going on?
“Joaquín’s ailment cannot be treated in a hospital, My Love. Humans are not equipped to deal with him now. He’s … Changing. We don’t know what he is changing into; he is unable, or unwilling to tell us. But he is shifting.”
“He’s a shifter? When?” I asked. “Why?”
“We don’t know how far along in the process he is, or what he will become. We know he is far enough along for the animal instinct to take over. That is why he took you. He feels that you are his mate, the animal part of his brain decided you were in danger…”
“And he took me.” My voice came out barely a whisper. I’d read plenty of theories about shapeshifting but no one had any firsthand experience. No human anyway. “His eyes…” I said to myself.
“What about his eyes, My Love.” Ian expression grew concerned.
“The night you came by my house, the night that Ben…” My throat clogged with emotion. I still couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud.
Ian pulled me to him in a comforting embrace.
“That night,” I continued, “his eyes were different, off somehow.”
Ian nodded in thought. “He must have been bitten before then.”
“I want to see him.” I pulled away far enough to look into his eyes.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, My Love.”
I stood. “I want to see him.” I walked toward the door.
* * * *
Ian led me downstairs and into a part of the house I hadn’t been to before. “This is the original living quarters,” Ian explained. “Before technology, the only way we could assure security from the sun was to sleep underground.” I followed him down stairs that were carved out of natural rock. They were uneven and little difficult to navigate with my sore ankle. Ian put his hand on my arm to steady me as we descended into the cool earth. We entered a room, or cave would be a more apt description, lit by a series of sconces affixed to the walls. I heard a murmur of voices followed by a crash of something metallic. I quickened my step and rounded a corner to see the source of the noise.
I don’t know what I expected to see, but Joaquín, in a cage, was definitely not it. I was just about to question Ian when Joaquín realized I was there. He turned his eyes toward me first, then his head, followed by his shoulders, slowly pivoting his body toward me. He stared at me a full two minutes before breaking out into a rage so fierce I backpedaled a few paces until I bumped into Ian.
Joaquín rammed his entire body into the bars of the cage. Over and over he battered the cage until finally turning his attention toward the mattress. He ripped it to shreds while I watched in shock.
Luke spoke calmly, never raising his voice, trying to soothe Joaquín while a puff of white mattress fluff littered the air. Once there wasn’t a piece of mattress big enough to be destroyed, Joaquín turned his attention to the bed frame. I gasped as the first metal bar was ripped from the frame and hurled through the air toward Luke.
“Shit!” I heard Cougar exclaim. “We didn’t think he’d progress this quickly.”
“You expected this?” I asked incredulously.
“He will need to learn to control the animal side of his DNA now,” Ian explained. “The rage and fury are just the beginning. Until we can be assured he will not hurt himself, or others,” he gave me a pointed look, “he will have to be contained down here. Do you understand?” Ian pulled me behind him, protecting me with his body.
I nodded against his back as Joaquín destroyed every piece of bed frame and threw them like spears at Luke, Falcon, and Cougar. When he was spent, he collapsed on the floor in a heap. Head in his hands and elbows resting on his knees, he heaved in each breath as if it caused him pain just to breathe.
I moved around Ian and closer to the cage. He tried to stop me. I brushed him off. “Joaquín?” I spoke softly.
He made no move.
I moved closer. “Joaquín?”
“Leah.” His voice was hoarse and raspy. “What the hell is happening to me?”
He looked to me, his expression wild. Anger, confusion and pain shone clearly in his eyes, I didn’t need to lower my shields to see it.
“Were you bitten?” I asked.
He laughed, bitter and harsh, nodding his head.
“What were you bitten by, Joaquín? We need to know. We need to know how to help you.”
He spoke, barely a whisper, and I moved closer. He looked broken and still as he sat on the floor. He shifted so his head lay back against the bars of the cage. I took a step closer. So did Ian, Cougar and Falcon. I turned
to see Luke standing back, arms crossed over his chest, eyes not missing a thing. Waiting for the answer he needed to help Joaquín.
With a blur of speed, Joaquín’s arm shot out and grabbed me through the bars. He pulled me closer as if trying to squeeze me through them. I screamed as the metal bars and pain bit into me. Ian and Cougar tried to pry his fingers from me.
“Falcon!” Ian’s voice was strained, “put him out!”
Falcon slid his arm past me toward Joaquín when I heard a violent snap of teeth.
Falcon pulled his hand away bleeding, a flap of skin hanging limply off his index finger.
After what seemed like hours but was merely a few seconds, Luke sank a needle deep into Joaquín’s arm and pressed the plunger. Joaquín roared, then his grip started to relax. He found a last burst of strength and twisted my head to his lips. “Wolf,” he whispered in my ear. “I paid a wolf to bite me. I did it for you.” Then he passed out on the floor.
* * * *
The next time I saw Joaquín he was lying across a fresh mattress, no bed frame, with his wrists and ankles restrained by steel manacles. Lucas had given him enough sedative to fell an elephant. Apparently shifters metabolism was so high only large amounts of meds affected them at all. They try not to give new shifters any sedatives at all and only do so when it’s absolutely necessary.
Normally, ha!—What the hell was “normal” about this?—Joaquín would have already been restrained but since no one knew exactly what had happened or how long ago, he was only contained. It was dangerous to sedate a new shifter and only done in extreme cases.
Like, perhaps when said shifter is about to kill someone—namely me. Luke explained that Joaquín would need to learn to control all of the new animal urges coursing through his veins.
First his body would have to accept the changes, then his mind. It varied greatly from species to species on exactly how long it took until he would make his first complete change and no one knew how long it would take Joaquín to gain control of it. So for now, he was here.
Luke assured me he had put the word out for a liaison from a local werewolf pack to help Joaquín make the transition, but packs didn’t take too kindly to mongrels, which is the correct term for a non-pack werewolf. Huh, you learn something every day.
Human to animal metamorphosis was not my field of expertise so I would rely on Luke and Ian to take care of that. Now I knew what Ian meant when he told me he was a liaison for Zarendia.
Zarendia had been a new shapeshifter and was having trouble adapting to the life. Since her “maker” didn’t bother to take the time to help her after she was bitten, she was on her own. That is, until Ian took her in. Unfortunately she’d been killed by a vengeful vampire several months ago and wouldn’t be able to help Joaquín out.
I waited until sunrise to come back down to see Joaquín. Ian, Falcon and Cougar were down for the day. That’s not to say Joaquín was unguarded. Mouse, Bear and Luke kept watch over him during the day. Mouse and Bear were both shifters and Luke was human, I think.
Hell, I wasn’t even left unguarded. After my return, I was never left alone. Justice or Shia was always “keeping me company” if Ian wasn’t. Even when I went to the bathroom someone was near the door.
I didn’t know where the hell Justice was and was just relieved that both Shia and Cougar were still alive. They had both received serious wounds in the battle before Joaquín managed to kidnap me, but as a vampire, Cougar healed quickly with the proper supply of blood. I was told Bear had provided blood for him to speed up the healing process. Shifter blood was even more powerful than human blood for a vampire, something about the transfer of power and all that.
Shia had to shift from mountain lion to human and back several times. She still bore a scar across her stomach from her fight with Joaquín.
“This isn’t a good idea,” Shia warned for the umpteenth time since I told her I was going to talk to Joaquín. She didn’t stop me though. I think she was hoping he’d start another fight. She and I were getting along just fine.
“I need to talk to him, Shia,” I insisted. “He’s restrained, what harm can he do?”
Shia rolled her eyes but trudged along behind me.
“I don’t suppose I can do this alone?” I asked.
She mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “not a chance in hell.”
Mouse, Bear and Luke stood near the cage, guns drawn.
I blew out a breath. “Fine. Can you at least give me a little space?”
They all took two steps back like they had synchronized the movement.
“Please,” I implored.
Shia looked to the men and nodded. “We won’t be far,” she warned and led Mouse, Luke and a very reluctant Bear around the corner and out of sight.
“Joaquín.” I cleared my throat and spoke louder when he didn’t respond. “Joaquín.”
His eyes popped open, filled with confusion for a brief moment. He tried to get up but was stopped by his restraints. He tugged a few more times before realizing he had an audience.
“I want to talk to you, Joaquín.” I inched closer, still keeping a distance between the cage and myself. Stupid, I know. He was shackled to the walls, but hey, once you’ve been nearly sieved through the bars, you’re not anxious for a repeat performance.
The confusion cleared from his eyes. “Leah?” I could see the wheels of his brain turning, sorting through details. “Oh my God, Leah! What have I done?”
“You paid a wolf to bite you. At least, that’s the last I heard.” The remark was harsh but I didn’t care. After everything the bastard put me through he was lucky I didn’t follow through with my threat to shoot his balls off. I expected anger, a snappy comeback, anything but what he said next.
“I couldn’t compete with him as a human. I knew that. So I became this.” Joaquín spread his arms as wide as the shackles would allow.
“On purpose! You deliberately became a wolf? To what? Win my heart? Are you crazy?” I knew I was rambling but couldn’t seem to stop. “You think I love Ian because he’s a vampire? I love him because he accepts me for who I am, unconditionally!”
Oh. My. God! Did I just say I love Ian? Out loud? To Joaquín? My own words shocked me. I needed him; I wanted him, but love?
Joaquín’s eyes bored into me and his lip curved into a sad smile. “I knew it,” he whispered. “I was too late.”
“Too late?” I hadn’t realized I’d said it out loud until he responded.
“He’s already got his fangs in you,” he declared as his face twisted into a snarl.
I laughed with disbelief. “You think I’m being mind-fucked.”
“Don’t you?” He challenged with one brow raised in question.
Shit. I guess I didn’t know.
I’d told myself Ian had manipulated me, made me fall for him just so he could use me to get to Elizabeth. But did I really feel any differently now about him than I did then? Would I even know if he were still controlling my mind? To what end?
What could Ian possibly gain by influencing my feelings toward him now?
I had missed Ian when I was away at training. My shields were strong and even Ian hadn’t known I’d been back in town before he saw me at The Ridge with Joaquín.
“You can’t even tell, can you?” Joaquín cut off my thoughts.
“He’s not controlling me,” I said with more conviction than I felt.
“He’s dead, Leah! You’re fucking a corpse, that makes you a necrophiliac!” The words were bitter and cold.
“And you would prefer I take up bestiality?”
Joaquín winced.
“It would have never worked out for us, Joaquín.”
“The hell it wouldn’t have! We were good together.”
I sighed and sank to the floor, folding my legs under me. “It was good…” my voice softened, “for a while.”
“It can still work, Leah.” Joaquín shifted so he was sitting. “We can make it work.”
&nbs
p; “You want something from me that I just can’t give, Joaquín.”
“We want the same things,” he insisted. “A home, love. A family.”
“You want me to be behind you, waiting in the wings. I can’t, I won’t do that.”
“I’m part of your world now, Leah,” he growled, showing teeth to emphasize the point. “It’s what you wanted. Right?”
I sucked in a deep breath. “You’re an ass, Joaquín. I won’t live with guilt over this. You may think you did this for me but you really just needed to appease your own sick ego!”
“I did this for you!” he roared loud enough to have Bear stepping back into the room.
“Miss Wolfe?” Bear asked, his eyes narrowed at Joaquín in warning.
“I’m fine, Bear. Thank you.” I waved him off and he disappeared again.
“I don’t want to argue with you, Joaquín. I came here to ask you to let them help you. Let Ian help you.”
“Like hell I will!” He kept the volume a little lower this time.
I nodded slowly. “Yes, Joaquín, you will. You don’t have a choice anymore.”
He started to protest but I cut him off.
“You kidnapped a federal agent for SINS. Do you understand what that means?”
I saw him swallow hard enough to bob his Adam’s apple in his throat.
I kept my eyes pinned to him. “You are a shifter now. There will be no jury of your peers, no probation, and no slap on the wrist.” I moved a little closer to him to emphasize my next words. “You will be killed, Joaquín. Just like any other paranormal that steps out of line.”
I saw the weight of my words settle on his shoulders. His eyes glazed over a bit while he took in what I told him.
“I won’t report this,” I continued, “if you let Ian help you through this. I’ll give you a chance to get control of the beast within you. But if you fuck this up…” I shook my head slowly and let my words trail off.
I turned and walked out of the room.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
The arrangements had been made and Ian would play host to Chaos and his entourage. Chaos agreed to be accompanied by two guards and his bloodslave. He had originally wanted several bloodslaves but Ian didn’t want Chaos to have more daytime people than I had daytime guards, a concept I wholeheartedly agreed with. I also wasn’t willing to bring any other humans into the situation. I didn’t want to be responsible for any more lives than necessary if things went bad.
The Order of Chaos Page 19
