I popped a couple of painkillers into his mouth then held the water and straw up to his lips.
He drained it in one breath so I motioned for Wilson to bring me another. I didn’t know if the meds would offer him any comfort. As a shifter, his metabolism was heightened and his body would burn them off quickly.
“I have a chemistry test next week. What will happen to me now?” he asked and I felt his fear heighten.
I darted my eyes to Bear and Shia. Bear looked sad, resigned to a fate Josh knew nothing about. Shia wouldn’t meet my eyes.
Shit!
Josh grew impatient; I felt his tension level rise a second before he snapped his neck around and tried to sink his teeth into my hand. I jumped to my feet and dropped the water bottle, its contents chugging out onto the floor.
“Didn’t you ever hear the phrase ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you’?” I warned.
“I’m sorry, my God. I didn’t mean…” His eyes were huge, the pupils wide enough to cover all the color in them. “What’s happening to me?” he said in a voice that was more growl than human.
I gave all the noncommittal reassurances I could stomach and then had Shia drive us back to Ian’s house. Sam promised to keep an eye on Josh, like he had a choice, and let me know if his “condition” changed.
Josh died before we made it home. Shia explained that very few people bitten actually survived the first shift.
It was a silent ride back.
As it turned out, the proverbial calm before the storm.
Chapter Forty-Four
“You were not to leave the house!” Ian bellowed mere inches from my face. “Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? And as for you—” he whirled on Shia and Bear.
“They did what I told them to do,” I yelled back, placing myself between him and Bear and Shia. “If you have a problem, you take it up with me!” I looked over my shoulder at them. “You can go now,” I said, toning down the volume a little.
They both stood there, looking between Ian and me.
“Go,” I said a little louder.
To their credit, they both hurried out of the room.
I turned away from Ian. I took a few steps, my arms circled tightly around myself. Perhaps I was finally ready to face the part of myself that wasn’t entirely human or maybe I just didn’t care anymore. My instincts to lash back out at Ian then walk, or run, away, back to the security of the little world I’d created for myself, just weren’t there. The world that consisted of work, Alli and Wilson and the precious little time I spent with Jessica and Oscar didn’t seem enough anymore. Even my job with SINS didn’t fill the black hole sucking light, laughter and love and spinning all the happy just out of my reach. I wanted more. I deserved more! I wanted Ian. But did he deserve me?
I could feel Ian’s eyes upon my back. I knew the silence between us was lengthening toward awkward, tension leaving a thick cloud, threatening to blanket around me.
I turned and let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. Whatever anger Ian had been feeling was gone now, replaced with wonderment and concern. He stood with his eyes intent on me, a question sparking within them.
“If this is going to work, Ian,” I dropped my hands and moved closer to him, “then you’re going to have to stop being so overprotective. I’m a federal agent for SINS and I’m not willing to give that up, not for Joaquín, not for you.”
His eyes shot up. “I only meant to…”
“Protect me?” I finished for him. “Where does that leave me? Hiding under your wings whenever things get rough? I’ve lived with danger my entire life. It’s part of my job, part of me. You can either accept me, my job and everything that goes with it, or,” I swallowed hard but kept my gaze locked with his, “not.”
I’d barely finished speaking before I was in his arms, his lips claiming mine. The taste and smell of him was intoxicating but I pulled my mouth away. I had to hear the words.
“Think about this, Ian. I can compromise but you have to trust me too. No more half truths, no hidden agendas.”
He opened his mouth to speak but jerked away when Mouse came into the room at a sprint.
“He’s Changing.” Mouse spoke quickly, his chest heaving for air, not from exertion but from fear and a touch of excitement.
Ian turned, “Stay here,” he ordered and ran toward the lower level of the house. I followed. When he reached the top of the stairs he glanced at me over his shoulder and rolled his eyes, knowing full well I had no intention of waiting behind.
The air grew stale as we descended into the cave-like sub level of the house. I didn’t hear the angry curses from Joaquín that had greeted me before. Instead a low moan filled the space. As we grew closer I could see the backs of Simon and Bear; their stance was rigid and braced for battle. An earsplitting scream froze me in my tracks. Josh had just died, his body attempting the same shift Joaquín’s was now.
Ian continued forward, taking a place beside Bear. “Summon Falcon and Cougar,” Ian said softly.
Bear turned to do as Ian asked and I caught a slight glimpse of Joaquín, lying on the mattress on the floor. His body was in the throes of a seizure. When his limbs stopped moving his skin took up the pace like a macabre synchronized dance. Ribbons of flesh wound around him like snakes burrowing just below the surface. Intervals of loud popping sounds coincided with his joints contorting in a way no human body should twist. Each pop was punctuated with a bellow of pain, more animalistic than human.
“Help him,” I heard a voice say, then realized it was my own.
“He’s fighting it.” Ian turned and met my eyes. “It will only make it more difficult if he tries to prevent the change from happening.” His features softened. “Go, My Love. There is little you can do for him. You don’t have to see this.”
I knew it was compassion that caused him to try and send me away, compassion for me and for Joaquín. As much as he didn’t like Joaquín, he still didn’t enjoy seeing him suffer.
I forced my feet forward. “What can I do?” I asked, sure there must be some way to relieve Joaquín’s pain.
“He may not survive, My Love,” Ian whispered.
I sucked in a breath and met Ian’s eyes. “What can I do?”
Ian gave one short nod of acceptance. “He needs to be calm, to breathe. It is futile to fight against the shift. It will come, whether he wishes it to or not.”
I took a steadying breath then moved closer to the cage. I lowered myself to the floor and called his name softly.
No reply.
“Can I go inside?” I asked.
“No, My Love. It would not be safe for any of us to get that close. When he turns—he will be ravenous.”
Ahh. I couldn’t argue with that. I certainly didn’t want to be on the menu. “Joaquín,” I said again, a little louder this time. He flipped his head to the side and the two huge black orbs of his pupils narrowed down to points aimed directly at me. The effect was startling. Recognition flashed in his eyes and his pupils returned to their normal size.
“Leah.” His voice was hoarse from pain-induced screaming.
“Joaquín, you have to calm down, you’re only hurting yourself by fighting this.”
“Hurts,” he croaked, another thwack followed by a deep groan. Hair sprung up from his skin, and it was like watching grass grow on a high-speed camera, starting with the stubble on his chin and cheeks and following down across his bare torso, into the seam of denim surrounding his waist. It darkened his already olive complexion.
I swallowed so hard it hurt. If I couldn’t handle watching this happen then I would be of no use in helping him through it. “Resisting the change makes it worse. Try to level your breathing.”
His mouth twitched, attempting a smile yet not quite getting past the pained expression.
“Like giving birth,” he quipped breathlessly.
“Exactly!” Ian replied from beside me.
Joaquín’s eyes whipped to Ian, narrowed, and then returned to mine.
“We wanted children once,” Joaquín said softly, “before the tests, before they told us…”
I felt my spine stiffen and shook my head. I did not want to have this conversation, not now, not ever. Ian placed his hand on my waist, sensing my distress and offering a gentle squeeze of comfort.
“I only did the tests to assure you. We already knew I couldn’t have children, you just didn’t want to believe it Joaquín—I don’t want to go there again.”
“It’s just,” he winced as a shudder rocked his body, “if I think about it, really be honest with myself, that was the end for us.”
I didn’t have time to reply to that because his body bowed so severely the chains restraining him squealed under the pressure. He dropped back to the mattress, sweat pouring off him in rivers that plastered all that hair to his body, and then bowed again.
“Breathe,” I begged, helpless to do anything but watch the horror before me.
I heard Joaquín pant for air and found myself matching my breath to his until I was dizzy. His nose blended into his mouth and grew longer until a muzzle formed, his teeth lengthened to deadly fangs. He tried to speak, his voice coming out garbled as his malformed mouth tried to form words.
“Get Sonya,” was all he managed to say before his eyes squeezed shut against the pain that consumed him, slid closer together and narrowed. Fur flowed over his features with just two small triangles protruding from the top of his head. Ears. All the while Joaquín screamed in pain as his bones bent at odd angles, dislocated and entwined upon themselves until what laid in the cage before me was a huge brownish black wolf.
It, he, laid on the floor, breath coming heavily from his mouth. His eyes were alert, the pupils surrounded by a golden rim. After a few moments of stunned silence, the wolf stood on shaky legs. His nails grasped for purchase along the concrete of the floor and the image that came to mind was of a newborn foal attempting to stand for the first time.
I instinctively stood and took a step backward. The wolf took a step toward me but was halted by a harness made of chain. He flipped his muzzle back and tried to bite at the chains, then turned an accusatory glance at Ian.
“It is necessary until we are sure you can control your instincts,” Ian said by way of explanation.
The wolf threw a questioning look at Ian, his gaze flicking to me.
“Yes, she is frightened,” Ian replied. “Can’t you smell it?”
The wolf bobbed his head up and down then rolled over onto his back and shimmied back and forth. He flipped back onto his paws and bent low in the front, wiggled his hindquarters playfully.
I laughed out loud, a tense noise but a laugh just the same. “He’s playing with me?” I asked.
“He’s trying to prove he’s harmless,” Ian’s hand absently trailed up and down my arm.
Joaquín dropped his backside and placed his face between his paws.
“You have to admit, he looks rather cute.”
Joaquín rolled his eyes and let out a huff of air.
“We must test his control, My Love.” Before I could respond to his thought Ian grabbed me and spun me so his body covered mine. He pulled me close and every inch of him that could possibly touch rubbed against me. My body reacted and a flurry of goose bumps raced across my skin. Ian skimmed both sides of my head with his hands and his lips brushed against mine. His fingers trailed down my back until they reached my backside where he cupped my cheeks and pulled me that much closer to him.
I heard a loud crack as the chains binding Joaquín snapped with his temper. He flung himself at the bars, so close I could feel the air brush by me.
Ian slipped fully in front of me, shielding me with his body. “You still must learn to control your instincts,” Ian spoke to Joaquín’s wolf form as he paced back and forth, now free of his chains.
“Looks like your dog could use some obedience training,” I quipped. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“I must send for Sonya.” Ian stopped my retreat.
I opened my mouth to protest but everything I was about to say seemed selfish. If she was the only one who could get Joaquín through this, I would have to shelve my anger and go with it. That didn’t make me happy but I gave Ian a short nod and started up the stairs.
“Enjoy the show?” Cougar asked jokingly.
I muttered an angry “Fuck you” as I went by him. It was misplaced fury, I knew. Cougar always made witty little comments; it was part of who he was. I just wasn’t in the mood for it at the moment.
I had nearly reached the top of the stairs when I heard hurried footfalls behind me. I increased to a jog, trying to get up the steps before Ian caught up with me. I was just about to shut the basement door behind me when his fingers grabbed my arm.
“I don’t want to see her.” I spat the words in his face.
“You said you could compromise, My Love. This needs to be one of them.”
“I understand Joaquín may need her, but that has nothing to do with me.” I knew my words were bitter but Ian was going to push this. I had to push back.
“You need to see her as well, Leah.”
Too angry to speak, I whipped my arm out of his grasp and ran down the hall and up the staircase to the second floor. I jogged past Shia who was standing guard at my bedroom and didn’t stop until I’d shut the bathroom door behind me. I stood at the sink, leaning over and gasping for air with my head hung down. I hated running. Always had. I used to joke that if you ever saw me running it was because there was a man with a chainsaw chasing me. At this point in my life that was actually a very real possibility.
And didn’t that sound cheery?
I faced myself in the mirror. My skin was still mottled red from both my temper and the running.
“What the fuck?” I said to my reflection. I should have been horrified at just watching Joaquín turn from man to wolf and then from playful puppy to snarling beast. But nooo. What got my blood pressure pumping was that I was being forced to see the woman that helped hold me captive.
Chapter Forty-Five
Sonya and Henri arrived.
I’d planned on staying in my room during their visit but Ian wouldn’t have it. He insisted I at least come down to the sitting room and meet them.
Sonya stumbled over apologies for a full ten minutes before Henri finally settled her down. Her apology was sincere but I didn’t know if it was because she really hadn’t known Joaquín kidnapped me and was genuinely sorry, or she didn’t want to get into trouble with Ian and was trying to save her own ass.
Henri didn’t look much older than Sonya. His dark hair was stylishly cut and he had a beard that was more stubble than anything else, as if he hadn’t shaved in a day or two and planned it that way. His suit was black with a crisp white dress shirt and a skinny black tie hanging loosely at his neck. A black fedora completed the ensemble.
“Come sit, Sonya,” he crooned in a voice more feminine than masculine. “I’m sure Ian and Miss Wolfe will forgive your ignorance.” He looked to Ian for confirmation but didn’t receive the appropriate response so he continued. “Sonya had no way of knowing Joaquín was taking your Leah against her will,” he defended. “She believed she was helping Joaquín; she did not realize who it was. When she did, we contacted you.”
“If she hadn’t claimed to possess the ability to cleanse vampire compulsion from humans,” Ian’s voice held all the contempt I felt, “then she would have never been in this position.”
Henri looked downright sheepish now. His eyes flitting between Sonya, Ian and I. “You know how she is.”
“How exactly am I?” Sonya said indignantly and slowly.
I could see the wheels turning in Henri’s head, looking for a way to defend both himself and his wife. “I know you were just having a little fun, dear.”
Sonya smiled but there was no joy in it. “People are so gullible. I grew bored in that dusty little place and only wished for some entertainment,” she said petulantly.
“Entertainment! That’s what yo
u call kidnapping? So you were just looking for a good time? There’s something wrong with you lady,” I exclaimed and started to leave.
Ian grabbed my hand to stop my exit. “I am sure she is not implying that your distress was enjoyable to her, My Love.”
Sonya shook her head quickly and repeatedly.
“Only that her visits with people who will seek her out in these unsure circumstances bring her pleasure.”
Sonya nodded enthusiastically. “I called Ian the moment I knew you were his,” she added.
I was not a possession and I swallowed the urge to protest the reference to me being “his”.
“Please, My Love. Sit with me. I am sure you have questions for Sonya.”
“Yeah, like what the hell is wrong with her?” I’m sure my expression showed that I was now questioning both of their sanities.
Ian took a slow breath. “Allow me to clarify. I am sure that you have questions regarding necromancy.” There was a hint of amusement in his words.
I sat heavily on the sofa. “Fine,” I conceded. “What makes you think I’m a necromancer?”
Ian sat and placed his hand on my knee, giving it a gentle squeeze as if to comfort me.
“You have a glow about you.” She looked as if that should explain everything and it took everything I had not to say, “Duh, why didn’t I think of that? Of course, I glow, well that explains everything.”
The words were on the tip of my tongue and it burned me not to say them. Instead, I just glared at her until she visibly squirmed in her seat then went on.
“All necromancers have a certain light surrounding their auras. It lets the spirits know who can see and hear them.” She shifted nervously, scooting just a little closer to Henri.
“Have you been in contact with any spirits, Miss Wolfe?” Henri asked.
I thought about the people I’d seen while in the hospital, the souls I’d spoken to throughout my life. Could this be the explanation? Was it this simple?
“Yes,” I answered cautiously.
“And how many have you raised from the grave?” Sonya spoke so matter-of-factly. As if raising corpses was something I did every day. You know, take a shower, have some breakfast, raise the dead. All in days work.
The Order of Chaos Page 23
