She wanted to reassure him, yet what words could possibly take away years of pain and fear? Reaching over, she smoothed a finger down the side of his face.
“I love you,” she said softly.
His lips twitched and she liked to think he was smiling in return.
“You going to tell me now?” Gavin asked.
“About what?”
“I saw how you reacted when she asked you about side effects. I get why you didn’t want to tell her, but I need to know.”
Cora stared out the window, avoiding the sidelong glances he kept throwing her. She needed to tell him about the visions. The time for her excuses over. Besides, the more she learned about Sinclair and the Posthuman Project, the more she thought her visions weren’t so strange after all.
Gavin started the Jeep and drove back to the side road leading to Thompson Creek. A road sign flew by, and panic surged through her. She knew that road. Not from her years of living in Thompson Creek but from the vision she had only days before.
She squeezed her eyes shut trying to remember what Sinclair’s viewpoint had looked like. Yet, even as the images came back, she realized they were already passed the spot.
“Cora? You okay?”
Cora shook her head to clear it. “What? Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You look tired,” he said.
“I am. I haven’t been sleeping well,” she admitted.
“Nightmares?”
“No, just … Dr. Nielson asked about anxiety and night terrors. Have you ever had those?”
He gave a chuckle laced with sarcasm. “You don’t get through the shit we went through and not have anxiety when you get out. I get night terrors sometimes. Sinclair’s calling card. Anytime he’s around, they start up.”
“How is that even possible?”
“Who the fuck knows? A lot of the genetic modifications he made changed the way our bodies use and produce enzymes and hormones. I wouldn’t be surprised if he implanted something in me.”
It almost made sense. When Gavin first told her about Sinclair and the Posthuman Project, she did her research. Finding specifics, though, on the project or even Sinclair had been next to impossible unless you counted all the conspiracy theories that popped up. She read a couple of those but dismissed them when they veered into mind control and astral projection. Perhaps she shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss them.
“Is that what you’ve been having? Night terrors?” he asked.
“No. I almost wish it was.” She took a deep breath and looked at him. “I’ve seen things. Things that aren’t happening at that moment.”
Gavin nodded, and she wondered if maybe she wasn’t the only one having visions.
“I had hallucinations a few times,” Gavin said. “Noah had a lot of them back in the lab.”
“I thought they were hallucinations. I mean, I did when they first started, but then I found out that what I saw actually happened.”
The car rolled to a stop on the shoulder of the road, and Gavin put it into park before turning to face her.
“Psychic premonitions?”
She’d expected doubt and a significant amount of skepticism. What she hadn’t expected was how much it hurt to hear it in his voice.
“Visions, not psychic. It’s … It’s hard to explain. They don’t just show just anything or everything and it’s not something I can control.”
“Then what do you see?”
“You. At the bar, driving home, talking with your brothers.”
“Those are all pretty normal things. Why would you think they’re visions?”
“Because I saw you break your arm playing football with your brothers. Two weeks before it happened when I still lived in Denver.”
The struggle to accept the idea of psychic visions flashed across his face. Finally, he nodded, though doubt continued to wrinkle his forehead.
“Okay. I need everything. Not just the bits and pieces you think are important. Everything.”
“A few months after I moved to Denver, I started waking up in the middle of the night. I’d lie there completely awake, and then all of a sudden I’d start seeing images of you.” Cora cleared her dry throat. “Like I said, I thought it was hallucinations. Some kind of post-traumatic stress.”
“But it wasn’t.”
“No. Now, at least, I understand why they started. Obviously, whatever Sinclair did to me after the accident was what caused this.”
Gavin stared out the windshield, his eyes squinting in deep thought. He ran a hand through his blond hair and managed to give himself an impromptu pompadour.
“You said you only see me. Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he wants me to know he’s watching you.”
“Watching me? Why would these visions tell you he’s watching me?”
Cora swallowed around the thick lump in her throat.
“When I have a vision, I’m not there. I mean, I see what’s going on but not through my own eyes.”
“Whose? Sinclair?”
“I had no idea who he was. I caught glimpses of his reflection in a window or in a mirror, but it wasn’t until I saw the photos from the security footage that I learned who he was.”
“And you didn’t tell me.” Gavin slammed the palm of his hand along the edge of the steering wheel.
“I couldn’t.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“Really? You would’ve believed me if I told you that I was having visions of some guy following you and planning to kill you?”
He cranked his head to the side, and she heard the audible click of his neck popping. “The only reason you believe me now is because you have proof Sinclair did something to me. If I said something earlier, it would have come across as some sort of desperate cry for attention.”
“Maybe, or maybe I would have at least been aware of the danger.”
She gave a soft chuckle. “Like you were after Caleb showed you the photos of Sinclair stalking you?”
“All right, I could’ve been a bit more careful,” he conceded.
“You need to be.” She thought of the guns Sinclair liked to brandish and the image of Gavin caught in their crosshairs. “Sinclair isn’t just watching you. He’s picking the perfect opportunity to kill you.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“The gun he carries, and the fact that he’s lined up his shot so many times I’ve lost count.”
“Sinclair won’t kill me. He’d view it as a loss of observational data. I don’t know what he and Nielson are planning, but I’m not going to make it easy on them.”
Cora stared at him incredulously. How is he not taking this seriously?
“This isn’t some game, Gavin,” she snapped. “Sinclair is going to try to kill you.”
Gavin studied her for a long quiet moment until he must have come to some realization because his eyes narrowed on her. “Why did you move back to Thompson Creek? Why take a job at the bar?”
Her standard fib about not liking Denver was on the tip of her tongue, yet it refused to roll off. So many times she gave him lies or half-truths, and it never served either of them well.
“You came back to try and stop Sinclair,” he guessed. “You had no clue who he was or why he would want me dead, but you thought you could stop him.”
“I came back because I needed to,” she said, “And because I wanted to.”
The silence that fell between them stretched an eternity. Cora tried to read his blank expression. Whatever he was feeling or thinking was so deeply hidden she wondered if he was even aware of it.
Eventually, he pulled back onto the road, driving until they came to a roadside diner. He parked the Jeep and they went in and ordered dinner. Throughout the meal, Gavin questioned her about the visions, wanting specific details so he could determine which had already passed and which were still possible futures. With all of the visions she’d had, it was impossible to tell him everything, so she recounted what she remembered and then told him th
e rest was written in her journal at home.
It was dark by the time they got to town. He parked around the back of her building, and as they walked to the front, he placed a hand on the small of her back. Her steps slowed as she tried to delay the inevitable loss of contact once they were inside. Eventually, they made it upstairs and he sat on the couch while she went to get the journal.
“This is most of it,” she said. She handed him the book and then sat in front of him on the coffee table. “I didn’t start keeping track until maybe a month or so before I moved back.”
Gavin opened the book, his eyes skimming over her notes.
“What does the star mean?” He pointed to the small mark in the margin.
“It means it happened. Most of them I don’t know if they did or not.” She shrugged. “They’re so generic in what happens you probably wouldn’t even know.”
“Gavin and a blond woman going into his apartment,” he read. “Night. The man took off his gloves. Wrinkled hands, but not elderly.”
“See? This is what it’s like most of the time. Especially when I wasn’t here. I had no idea what you were doing, where you were, who you were with.” She gave a slight smile. “God, I sound like a stalker.”
Gavin returned her smile but didn’t say anything. Instead, he continued to flip pages, and as he neared the end of her notes, he slowed, taking the time to read each word.
“You’re in these ones,” he said.
Cora nodded. “I’m in them, but I’m still inside of him. I’m watching myself with you.”
He gave a sexy smirk. “You realize how kinky that sounds, right?”
“You’re just as bad as Keeley,” she said, shaking her head, though she couldn’t quite pull off a serious expression. “This is serious stuff.”
“You’re right, and we should definitely be serious about it. In the morning.”
He tossed the journal on the coffee table beside her and then scooted to the edge of the couch. The movement caused her to spread her legs to make room for him. He hooked his hands high under her legs and pulled her forward and onto his lap.
“Gavin.” His name came out on a sigh as she ground herself against him. Her skirt left her bare to the sensation of his jeans rubbing against the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. “We should stay focused on Sinclair.”
“I’d rather focus on you.” He leaned in, his mouth hovering over hers.
“Is this a good idea?”
“Fuck, yes.” His pelvis lifted and the hardening ridge of his cock pressed against her pussy.
She caught his lower lip between her teeth and gently tugged before closing her mouth over his. Her tongue darted in, enticing his into a sensual dance. The taste of him was heady. Rich and masculine and something that was uniquely Gavin.
A moan escaped her as his hands cupped her ass cheeks, his fingers curling in and slipping beneath the edges of her panties. She pulled her mouth from his and threw her head back as she rocked against him.
His lips skimmed across the exposed line of her neck, latching on at the point where neck and shoulder met. She shivered, and her nipples tightened in anticipation.
Cora gripped the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off over her head. Seated on Gavin’s lap, her breasts were level with his face. He lapped his way down her collarbone, and through her black-lace bra, captured her beaded nipple with his teeth. He tugged on the puckered nub, then released it and did the same to the other nipple.
Gavin twisted them around until Cora’s back pressed to the seat of the couch. He tugged at her thong and she lifted her pelvis to help him get the delicate fabric out of the way. He slid his rough fingers through the soft curls and then between the folds of her pussy.
Her hips rose and fell as she desperately sought a deeper touch. He responded by slipping two fingers inside her, but the touch was too brief as he pulled out and circled her clit.
“Harder,” she said, straining closer to his touch and groaned when he followed her order.
Then his fingers were gone and he was tugging her up from the couch. He placed her in front of him and walked her to the bedroom.
He fiddled with the clasp of her bra then the loosened material sagged, and she let it fall to the floor. She started to reach for the zipper along the side of her skirt, but his hips bumped into her and she moved toward the bed.
Reaching from behind, his hands massaged her breasts and he plucked at her nipples. His teeth lightly scraped her shoulder, and grasping his forearm, she arched her back.
Pushing away from his hold, she climbed on the bed. Before she could turn over, he was behind her on his knees, his hands gripping her hips and pulling her back.
He gathered the back of her skirt and tossed it up across her back, leaving her ass bare and on display for him.
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he said, fingers trailing over her skin, between her cheeks, down along her wet pussy to her clit. He tapped at the rigid bud he found, and she jerked in response.
“I want you inside me. Now,” she panted.
He released her and she heard the sound of his zipper going down and then the ripping of a condom packet. Moments later, his hard cock slid between her swollen folds, the head of his penis catching at her opening. She reached between her legs and grasped his penis, guiding him into her entrance.
His hips thrust forward, and only the hold he had on her hips kept her from moving forward as well. She went down to her elbows, angling her body to deepen his driving thrusts.
“Widen your legs,” he said, and as she did, his thumbs pulled apart the lower region of her folds. The stretching left her pussy aching, desperately trying to clench around his cock.
His balls tapped against her clit with each powerful thrust. Cora reached one hand down between her legs, finding her aching bud and rolling it beneath her fingers. Her heated flesh responded with a spasm.
“That’s it. Come for me, baby,” he groaned. He palmed the lush flesh of her ass, and then gave it a gentle tap. The contact sent a sharp tingle through her, though it lacked enough force to even sting.
“Again,” she said.
He answered with another tap. She arched, straining to reach the precipice of pleasure and rocked back, driving him deeper.
“Let go, baby. Just let go.”
Her fingers clutched the comforter, and her toes curled in. A loud cry broke free as she convulsed around him, squeezing his cock as she gave into the shattering orgasm. Utterly spent, she sagged forward, the side of her face pressed to the bed.
Gavin gripped her hips, holding her in place as he kept moving, sliding through her slick passageway. Then he wedged himself completely within her and held still as he gave a throaty groan. His fingers tightened briefly, releasing her to prop himself above her.
Their gasping breaths filled the room with the sounds of their sated pleasure. Inside her, she felt the slight pulse of his flesh and she clenched her muscles around him. At the soft grip, his hips jerked, and her lips curved in satisfaction.
When their breathing slowed and the last vestiges of their trembles faded, Gavin withdrew from her and fell onto the bed beside her. He took of the condom and tossed it in the bin next to the bed.
Cora rolled to the side and gazed at him, taking in the strong profile of his face. His closed eyes and the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest had her wondering if he’d fallen asleep.
She lifted a hand and brushed at a strand of damp hair from his forehead. His lashes fluttered open, and she stared into his warm, dark-brown eyes. In their depths, she found such confusion her heart ached for him.
“Você não é nada para mim,” he whispered.
A wave of emptiness consumed the lingering sensations that only moments before warmed her with euphoria.
She had expected it. Gavin wasn’t going to simply snap out of his grieving because she was a good lay, or even because he might actually feel something for her. So, it all cycled back to her and whether she was willing to accep
t the role of nothing in his life.
It was humbling to admit her answer to that was yes. Right then, at that moment, she would take anything she could get and to hell with the devastation she’d face when she’d finally had enough.
Chapter Sixteen
CORA BLINKED RAPIDLY UNTIL her eyes adjusted and she was able to make out shapes in the darkness surrounding her. Beside her, Gavin twisted restlessly, tangling himself in the comforter. That explained what woke her.
She rolled onto her side to gaze at him. She could see the whites of his eyes as he stared up at the ceiling, but there was something about it that seemed off.
“Gavin? Are you all right?” she asked.
His head whipped around to look at her but he didn’t answer. He wasn’t so much staring at her as he was staring through her, and she realized he wasn’t really awake.
“Gavin, wake up.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. The touch seemed to propel him deeper into his dream, and his arm lashed out, smacking his hand into her pillow, missing her by less than an inch.
Cora scrambled back and scooted off the bed. She flicked on the bedside lamp, and in the soft light, she was able to see him clearly. His face was contorted in a mix of fury and agony.
“Gavin,” she called, but he didn’t react so she reached over and grasped his bicep, giving it a firm shake. “Gavin.”
An agonized bellow exploded from him as he shot upright, his arms flailing around. Cora pulled away, giving him space to get his bearings. He continued to thrash around for a minute, seemingly unaware of her presence or even where he was.
His shoulders heaved with each gasping breath he drew in until they gradually slowed. He scanned the room until his eyes settled on her and he ran a hand through his damp hair.
“You okay?” Cora hesitantly climbed back into the bed.
“Yeah. I’m good.”
He rubbed his hands over his face. She grabbed the half-empty water bottle from the nightstand and passed it to him. He tipped his head back and drained the water, his Adam’s apple bobbing with each gulp. He handed the empty bottle back to her then flopped back on the bed.
“That must have been a pretty intense nightmare.”
Darken (Siege #1) Page 15
