“So, if ye loved me even then, why were ye so… I mean ye were so patient with me about doing all of—” Kenna trailed off, her eyes scanning the room, which was littered with thrown garments.
“I assume that, at some point, ye have heard about what happened to my mother?” Rob hoped she had, for he did not really care to recount the story. He did not like to revisit the memories more than he had to, hating to call up the image of his mother, her clothes torn and her face bloody and bruised, running across the field toward him.
When Kenna nodded, looking almost ashamed of herself for knowing, Rob continued, “Well, it taught me much about the ways that people could be hurt. I thought those men had only hurt her body, but as those wounds healed and she did not recover, I understood that there was more than that. They had hurt her very soul, and that wound had been the one that proved fatal.
“When ye made it clear on our wedding night that ye would be unwilling, all I could think was that I would be hurting ye the same way that those men had hurt my mother. And I couldna stand the thought of it. I told ye to beg me because I wanted to ken the very moment that yer heart had changed, and ye had come to accept me. I had to ken that I wasn’t going to hurt ye in that way.”
Kenna’s arm wrapped around him and squeezed. “Do ye miss her? Yer mother?”
“Every day. What about ye? Do ye miss yer parents?”
“Aye, though I have missed my mother more today than I have in a long time. She was such a good mother, ye ken? I just want to be like her, but I am afraid that I will never be.”
Rob turned so he could look Kenna squarely in the eye. “Ye are going to be a fantastic mother.”
“Do ye really think that?”
“Aye, I ken that ye will be. And I’ll do my best to be a good father. We are going to make mistakes, as I am sure all parents do, but we will find our footing. We will rely on each other and, one way or another, we are going to figure it out.”
Kenna smiled and leaned forward to rest her forehead against his. “Ye can be awfully amiable when ye wish to be, ye ken? But I agree—we will be the best parents we can be.”
“At the very least, we will be the best parents the babe has ever had,” Rob retorted, laughing as Kenna rolled her eyes and pushed away from him.
“Ye are such a fool, Rob Fraser.”
“Aye, and ye are so cruel, Kenna Fraser.”
“Cruel? How so?” Kenna asked, though the hint of a smile on her lips told him that she was a bit proud of herself for earning the description.
“Ye have let this be a one-sided conversation. I told ye that I loved ye, and ye don’t even have the decency to tell me what it is ye think of me.”
“Of course not.” She rolled her eyes again. “Ye haven’t begged me.”
“What? I thought that was just to find out if ye miss me when I’m gone.”
“‘Tis all of it, every thought in my head that I have of ye. Of course, I’ll tell ye that I think ye are a fool fer free, as a kindness to ye.”
“A kindness, indeed.” Rob laughed. “Well, I guess ye leave me no choice.”
With a heave, Rob rolled off of the bed, hitting the ground with a thud.
“What are ye doing?” Kenna asked, leaning over the side of the bed to look down at him in alarm.
Rob picked himself up just a bit, crouching before her on his knees. “Kenna, I am on my knees, begging ye to tell me what is in that bonny little head of yers.”
“Again, such a fool.” She leaned in to kiss him. “And so able to be pleasing when ye wish to be.”
“Aye, I ken all that already; I want something new, lass. Tell me, do ye miss me when I am gone?”
Her blue eyes caught his, and Rob felt himself sinking into them, just as he had done on the first day that they had met.
“Of course I miss ye. How could a woman not miss the man she loves?”
Rob’s hand slipped to her chin, tipping it up so he could kiss her properly. Her arms wrapped around him, guiding him back up onto the bed.
Rob’s hands trailed along her thighs, and he felt her sigh and shudder beneath him.
“Say it again,” he whispered into her skin.
“I love ye, Rob.”
Rob’s hands traveled further, followed closely by a whispered trail of kisses. “Again.”
“I love ye, I love ye, I love ye.”
Her words carried him as their bodies merged together once more.
* * *
Dawn came all too soon, unwelcomed into their room. The night before was supposed to be a night that never ended, yet life was rarely that easy.
“I’ve got to go soon,” Rob said in a hushed voice. “I have to go check the rabbit traps we set yesterday.”
“But ye haven’t even gotten a chance to sleep.” Kenna’s arms tightened around him in protest.
“Aye, I had a little devil keeping me up.”
Kenna smiled, glancing up at him with a sparkle in her eyes. “Ye did say that I was cruel.”
“In all of the best ways,” Rob said, giving her a quick peck before he pulled himself from the bed and began searching the floor for his kilt.
“How long will ye be gone?”
“Likely all day. Just long enough fer ye to really start to miss me.”
“Fat chance.” Kenna glowered.
Rob chuckled. “Deny it all ye like, lass, but I will cherish the memory of ye confessing how much ye miss me when we are apart fer the rest of my days.”
“Don’t ye have someplace to be?”
“Aye, aye, see ye later.” Rob gave her one final kiss to the forehead before leaving the room.
Though the sun had barely risen, his entire family was already gathered around the head table in the Great Hall, piling their plates high with fruit and ham that the kitchen staff had just set before them. The rest of the hall was filling up as well, with small clusters of people steadily growing larger as more and more castle dwellers made their way down from their chambers.
“Look who finally woke up,” Laird Lovat teased as Rob took his seat beside him.
Hugh gave him a stiff smile. “Did ye enjoy sleeping past dawn as much as I did?”
Rob could hardly confess that he had slept less last night than any of the nights before, so he just nodded and agreed.
“Yer brother, I am afraid, has come down with a chill. He’ll be unable to join ye on yer hunt today,” Ellen informed him. “I hope that ye managed to avoid a similar affliction?”
“Aye, I feel fine.”
“And is Kenna feeling better?” Florence asked eagerly. “I’d hoped she would be with ye.”
“She is feeling better, but she needs more rest. She’ll probably be on her feet later today.”
“What did the healer say was wrong with the lass?” his father asked, looking down his nose at Rob, surely gaging how a sudden illness would influence his winter preparations.
“She’s pregnant,” Rob replied, doing his best to say it with a touch of cool indifference.
He had worked hard to build his reputation in front of his clan; he couldn’t start giggling and grinning like a wee lad now.
Florence stared at him from across the table, speechless.
Hugh coughed and sputtered on his drink.
Even his father, usually so undaunted, stopped midway through slicing a bit of honeyed ham.
The quiet lasted no more than a few beats before Florence suddenly leaped to her feet with a loud whoop, calling all of the hall’s attention to her as she rushed around the table and threw herself into Rob’s arms.
“She is pregnant? Really? Ye better not be lying to me, Robert Fraser, or I will make ye regret the day ye were born!”
“If ‘tis a lie, ye’ll have to discuss it with the healer, not I,” Rob said, realizing that it was becoming harder for him to keep a silly grin repressed.
The few groups closest to the head table began to share in the congratulations, and soon it had spread through the entire room like wildfire, the qu
iet murmurs of morning conversation growing to loud cheers and toasts on behalf of the future Laird or Lady of Lovat.
Rob laughed, despite himself, wishing that Kenna was here to share this moment.
“Well, son.” His father clapped him on the shoulder. “‘Tis good to hear that ye had it in ye.”
“Thank ye,” Rob said a little hesitantly, not sure if he should accept the compliment or not. “Well, if I don’t have Hugh coming along to check these traps with me, I think I had better go.”
Rob rode out of the castle and into the forest with more liveliness than he had felt in a long time. Everything in his life was starting to align. Kenna loved him, and he loved her. He had a child on the way. The sun was shining for his day of hunting. Even Hugh had seemed to be in better spirits that morning than he had been the day before. Rob could think of nothing that deserved to dull his mood.
That was, of course, only because he was choosing to ignore the archer.
I wonder how many times I am going to chase him down in my dreams, Rob thought, thinking back to his dream from a few nights ago and how far behind the archer he had fallen.
Whether he liked it or not, his failure to catch him had led to what may well be a lifetime of looking over his shoulder, wondering if he or Kenna were supposed to be the ones who died that night. And, if so, did the archer still want them dead?
Rob sighed and shook his head as he leaned over to check the first rabbit trap.
Empty. Just my luck.
Hadn’t he been happy just a few minutes ago? Hadn’t he been carefree and ready to take on the world?
As Rob walked toward the second of the traps, he couldn’t help but think back on everything he knew about the archer. He had been quick, an excellent navigator of the woods, and a bit smaller than Rob in stature.
Oh, and he had gold on him. It was a detail he wished Kenna had remembered to tell him at the time. For all he knew, that flash of gold that she had seen would have been the key to finding wherever that bastard had hidden that night.
Rob reached the second rabbit trap, which was tucked away in a small crag. Rob did his best to fish it out, but try as he might, he couldn’t reach it. He was just too bulky. Hugh was always the one who had been able to get into these small places.
When they were young, Hugh used to go sprinting into the woods; Rob hot on his tail. Then, happening so quick that Rob didn’t even understand how it had happened, he would just disappear. Rob figured out years later that it was all a trick. Hugh knew exactly where all the best crags were hidden in the hills around Dounie. He would run toward them and slip down into them, squeezing his small frame into a tight bit of the rock face before anyone would catch up and see him hiding away. He had been a master of it and had never been caught by anyone unfamiliar with the stunt.
Rob stiffened, his hand still an inch away from his rabbit trap.
“No, it couldn’t be,” he said to himself.
Had that been how the archer had gotten away? By not getting away at all? Just slipping down into some crag?
Impossible.
The move was something that he only ever heard of Hugh doing. One’s size had to be just right; one’s body able to move in just the right way. One had to know the landscape and which crags could accommodate them.
Hugh canna have done it. He does not ken that forest.
Except, Rob comprehended with a sinking feeling, he does.
He and Rob had ridden through as much of it as possible when they split off from the Queen’s retinue. Hugh had even gone off on his own a couple of times that day, giving him plenty of time to check for decent hiding places.
The answer was in front of him, but Rob didn’t want to see it. Instead, his mind started to spin for alternative options, to try and devise some logical explanation that ultimately cleared Hugh’s name. Nothing came.
All that did come was a memory of Hugh putting on his golden ring for good luck.
“Damn thing hasna brought me as much luck as it ought these days,” Hugh’s voice echoed back to him.
“Shite,” Rob said, taking off toward his horse at a sprint.
18
It was midday when Kenna finally rose from her bed, stretching out and sighing in relief at having achieved a bit of rest after everything from the night before. She took her time as she washed and then went through all of her trunks before finally settling on a heavy cotton dress dyed a deep shade of green and embroidered with the outlines of roses in full bloom.
When she was fully dressed, with nothing else left to do, Kenna lay back in her bed and let out one, foolish sequel of delight, letting her arms and legs flail as she released the vigor that had built up inside of her.
Happiness, she understood, is a strange concept. How many times in her life had she been convinced that she was truly, completely happy? How many times had she laughed and smiled and told herself that it could never be better than this? None of those moments could even compare to what she was feeling now. Nothing compared to the happiness born of love.
Kenna traced the subtle curve of her belly, a figure that would soon be changing. Florence would be thrilled, for Kenna would likely need some different clothes.
Perhaps I should do the ordering this time, Kenna thought as she understood that a responsible Lady of Lovat would not allow for such lavish spending.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door, followed by the muffled voice of Ellen.
“Kenna? Are ye awake?”
“Aye!” Kenna called back, sitting up and trying to force down the vigor that was still coursing through her veins before Ellen stepped inside.
“I wanted to see if ye would care to take a morning stroll with me? I heard that ye are feeling better, so a bit of exercise may be fer the best.”
“Oh, aye, I suppose a walk would be good,” Kenna replied, her hand absently falling to her stomach and her secret source of illness. Ellen’s offer was kind, but it would be months before she could be truly cured. “Hold on, let me find my cloak.”
Kenna went to one of her trunks, the one where she had packed away all of her cloaks and began to rifle through the pieces.
“Well, that is odd,” she mumbled to herself.
“Is something wrong?” Ellen asked.
“One of my cloaks is missing. The red one.”
“Maybe ye left it in Florence’s room, or in the alcove where ye all like to sit and sew.”
“I must have…” Kenna pulled another of her cloaks from the trunk instead. It was lighter, but the sun was out so it would hopefully be warm enough.
As she tied the cloak around her shoulders, she watched as Ellen wandered along the hearth, running her hands along the mantle and taking in all of the trinkets and treasures that Kenna had intermixed with Rob’s, not that he had had many to be mixed in with.
“Ready?” Kenna asked when Ellen seemed to go into a daze.
Ellen turned to her, her forced smile not as strong as it usually was. Today, it looked a bit sad. “Aye, let’s go.”
The pair of women left the room and made their way out to the castle’s yard, stopping now and then to exchange greetings and pleasantries with those they passed.
“Lady Fraser, Mrs. Fraser,” one of the older servants, Alec, called. He was a hearty old man, always full of smiles and laughs. “Out fer a morning stroll?”
“Aye, just down to the river and back,” Ellen replied.
Her words, Kenna noticed, were stiff and angry. Alec seemed to notice, too, for he just bowed his head like a kicked dog, and went back to his work.
Ellen led Kenna out of the yard and around the castle, following a path that had been beaten into the soil by hundreds of feet passing along this same way over the years.
“This is one of my favorite walks. During the summer, all of the children flock down to the river to swim and play, but ‘tis quiet this time of year.”
“‘Tis very lovely, thank ye for bringing me, Ellen.”
“Of course. W
e are both strangers to the castle, after all; I feel that I must be the one to show ye some of its hidden secrets. So, have ye heard the rumors that are floating about us?”
“Ach, no. What are people saying?”
“They think we are secretly sisters—that yer Gordon history is all an elaborate ruse fer my father to still wed one of his daughters to the next Laird of Lovat.”
Kenna snorted. “A bit far-fetched. Where did they even come up with the idea?”
“Well, ‘tis likely because we look so similar. What, have ye never noticed?”
Kenna found herself eyeing Ellen up and down as if for the first time. She had always found Ellen to be a beauty, such a beauty that Kenna had never really allowed herself to notice how similar they were, sharing some major features, such as dark, curly hair, nearly identical builds, and fair complexions. It was only in the details, like Ellen’s amber eyes to Kenna’s blue, or Ellen’s crystal clear complexion to Kenna’s freckled one, that differences really revealed themselves.
“Ye never ken.” Kenna laughed, shaking her head at the revelation. “We could be long lost sisters.”
Ellen gave a soft laugh, the kind that Kenna immediately recognized as false, as she continued to lead them down the trail.
“Just over there is a dock that ye can walk out onto. It gives ye the perfect view of the riverbanks. Completely unobstructed,” Ellen said.
Kenna followed Ellen down the dirt path as it twisted away from the castle to follow the river instead and, sure enough, a dock appeared up ahead, tucked up against the line of trees. Ellen let Kenna walk out first, though it was wide enough for them both, so she could take a moment to survey the sight on her own.
If it had been summer, when everything was bright and green, this would have been one of the best sights at Dounie. But now that it was winter and the sky was gray over the dark water, Kenna couldn’t help but feel that it was just desolate and melancholy.
Highlander's Haunted Past (Highlander's Seductive Lasses Book 1) Page 23
