“When someone gives a box of chocolates, do you question why or just say thank you?” I responded. “I can’t begin to understand an elemental’s logic. The typical response is, ‘Princess, there are things I cannot tell even you.’” I tried to mimic Göksu. No one but Logan would know I failed miserably.
“I’m amazed they speak to you.” Thomas sipped his wine, rolling his glass between his fingers. “I’m also jealous. But I’m willing to change the way I use my magic if it will bring me closer to them. My father will object. He hates change. We’ve taught our mages to command their magic for generations and have prided ourselves in our success.” His soft brown eyes met mine, pleading with me to understand. “Listening to your mages talk about you with awe and respect makes me want what you have. How does someone so new have all that power?”
“I told you in our meeting. I respect my elementals and ask for their strength,” I replied, trying not to pick at my clothing. Why was that so hard to understand for other mages? “Honestly, if I tried to boss my wind elemental, he’d laugh at me and toss me across the room. I don’t know how you command yours. I certainly can’t.” I looked at my still-closed water bottle and twisted the top off. “And my water elemental will do nothing for me unless I come to him with love and compassion. When I do, he gives me the strength I need.”
The prince shook his head and turned to Kellen. “And what of your partnership?” he asked. “Will you be married?”
Kellen and I looked at one another with similar expressions. I didn’t want to have that discussion. He took a long drink of his whiskey, emptying the glass.
“That’s a personal conversation that AJ and I need to have,” Kellen replied. “And it’s really none of your business.”
My mouth dropped open at Kellen’s rudeness. Not that I didn’t appreciate it, I was just surprised.
“I meant no offense,” Thomas said, raising one hand in the air as if to wave off the sudden hostility. “My father is pushing me to court the princess.” He blushed but refused to look at me. “But I have no desire to force myself on someone who is already taken.”
I couldn’t stop the smile tugging at my lips. A new level of respect for this man just entered the picture. I didn’t want to be pursued by anyone.
“Thank you,” Kellen said. “The last few weeks haven’t left us much time to think about anything other than fighting for our people.” He glanced at me, his expression unreadable and for good reason. Logan and I found plenty of time to get to know each other after Kellen chased me away. We’d become close friends even before that.
“If that situation should change…” the prince paused, leaving the rest unsaid. At least he had the decency to blush again and look me in the eye.
A low growl rumbled from my vampire, but the other two men in the room didn’t seem to notice.
“Seriously? I’m sitting here,” I grumbled, hating that my face flushed with embarrassment. “Don’t we have other things to discuss?”
“I should find my father,” Thomas said, finishing his glass of wine and standing. “I hope to see you at the party, princess,”
“It was good to meet you, Thomas.” I stood with him and offered my hand. Logan rose with me. I refrained from looking up at him, knowing his expression wasn’t friendly.
Instead of shaking my offered hand, the prince kissed my fingers. It was weird and flattering. I blushed again. Damn!
Kellen stood as well, escorting the prince to the door. They mumbled softly, and I snuck a glance at Logan. Sure enough, jealous daggers soared from his eyes into the back of Thomas’ head.
I brushed my fingers across his chest, drawing his attention. “You have nothing to worry about,” I whispered. “Now relax. The hard part is next.”
The furrow between his eyes relaxed along with his clenching jaw, but he didn’t smile. “You handled that much better than I would have,” he whispered back to me.
I smiled. “I heard you growl.”
“No you didn’t. Did you?” He reached down and swept back a wild curl falling across my forehead.
“Yeah. Was I not supposed to?”
“No.”
That was interesting.
“You want another drink, Logan?” Kellen asked from across the room.
“Yes, thanks.”
“AJ, you want something other than water?”
“No, its fine. It’ll just make me stupid and I don’t need any help with that.”
Kellen snorted, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his expressive gesture after being so cold.
“You have been the only intelligent one here,” Kellen said, pouring two more glasses of amber whiskey.
“I doubt that.” I fell back into the sofa, some of my anxiety slipping away with my partner’s self-deprecation. Hopefully, this wouldn’t be an ‘AJ bashing party’ by the time we were done. There was so much we needed to get out in the open, and regardless of our past, I needed to trust the man who would be leading our mages.
Kellen sauntered back over to the little seating arrangement and handed Logan a glass.
“To the future.”
He extended his cup to my vampire who graciously accepted the toast.
“To the future.”
They both emptied their glasses and sat. Kellen’s eyes drifted from me to Logan several times. I waited for him to put his thoughts together. There was so much I wanted to say, but I needed him to initiate this.
“Apologizing won’t change the past,” Kellen finally said. “I regret so many things. I should have just been honest and open with you from the beginning, AJ.” He rolled the small glass in his hands, watching it rather than looking at me. “Of course, hindsight is twenty-twenty. My biggest regret is my reaction to your bonding. I hated Logan for doing it, but there weren’t any options. You would’ve died or become a vampire. While I could hope you would retain some humanity the way Logan has, there was no guarantee.”
He looked up at me, his brown eyes softening. “But our mages wouldn’t accept you as a vampire any more than your mother. So that wasn’t an option. At the time, I thought being tied to Logan was the same thing. I realize now that we can keep it secret.” He set his glass on the narrow table next to the sofa and leaned towards me. “I’ve told no one. After I got over being pissed off, I quit trying to find out how it happened, realizing it would expose the two of you. The people love you, AJ. After last night, they’ll overlook a lot of inconsistencies.”
I didn’t know what to say. His admission was so far from what I expected; I could only sit there with my mouth hanging open.
“Close your mouth, princess,” Logan said. “There’s a ‘but,’ isn’t there?”
Kellen nodded. “You can’t spend all your time away. They’ll forgive many things, but they need their Magister here.” He raised a hand in the air to stop my argument. “Not all the time. We can explain your need to train and look for the others, but you need to spend some of your time here with your people.”
Kellen cleared his throat and braced his elbows on his knees. “You and I need to act like we enjoy each other’s company. Anyone with eyes can see the wall between us. Thomas was polite just now, but there were all kinds of subliminal messages in that conversation. He said he’ll not pursue you, but it’s not what he meant. If we aren’t officially engaged soon, he’s moving in.”
My mouth fell open again. He couldn’t possibly be serious. There was no way I was getting engaged to the man who tried to kill me. I could forgive him and maybe even try to understand his reasoning, but marriage? Hell no! I snapped my mouth closed and jumped to my feet.
“How dare you! You never cared for me! You used me to get my mother off the throne and take her seat of power. Then you tried to kill me when you thought I would threaten that seat.” My voice grew louder with each thought, tears clouding my vision. “There’s no way in hell I would ever marry you.”
“AJ, wait.”
Logan’s voice forced my tears to fall. The man who was suppose
d to love me better not defend Kellen. I turned towards him, crossing my arms over my stomach, daring him to side with my traitorous partner.
“You know my heart better than anyone else,” Logan said, remaining seated. “As much as it disgusts me to think about it, Kellen has a point.”
“Stop. Don’t say another word.” I took a step away from him, slamming into the doors across the room before I realized what happened. “You don’t get to break my heart, remember?”
He hovered over me seconds later, his hands on each side of my head and my back against the door. “He doesn’t need you to love him,” my vampire whispered.
“The two of you would force me into an arranged marriage?” I asked, my anger pulsing through my veins. “Get away from me.”
Logan’s forehead dropped to mine. “I won’t force you to do anything, AJ.”
“But you won’t stop him from doing it.” I pushed against his chest, but he wouldn’t move. “Logan, get out of my way.”
“You can’t leave here mad. We need to talk about this.”
“No, we don’t.”
“AJ, think about it. You’re the ruler of the North American mages, basically a queen in the eyes of the other ruling families,” Logan whispered. “And you’re single.”
“No, I’m not,” I muttered.
“No one knows that but you and I.”
I tilted my head to look up at him. His hazel eyes swept across my face, stopping at the tears rolling down my cheeks. We could never have an open relationship, could we? It would always be hidden behind closed doors. Moments stolen in secret.
“I can’t do this.”
“How many times have you said that and still found a way?”
He took a step back, giving me space. I looked over at my partner and sighed. His pained expression mirrored my own. I pushed myself away from the wall and walked back to the sofa, plopping down on it and tucking my legs beneath me.
“Tell me what brought on this decision,” I said, wiping my tears away.
Logan took his place beside me, and Kellen collapsed into the sofa across from us.
“Jim asked to take you home with him,” Kellen said. “So did King William.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “That’s ridiculous.”
“No, not really. You control the North American mages.” Kellen shifted in his seat, uneasiness radiating off him. “If you think of it on a political scale, each region would benefit greatly from a marriage with you.”
“But none of them love me,” I said bitterly. “Including you.”
My partner glared at me, his anger filtering through our bond. “I will allow Logan free passage to come and go as he pleases. I’ll let you build your strength and teach our mages how to connect with their elements.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples for several moments. “Thomas will treat you like a princess, but he won’t let you to leave the castle. Jim would treat you well, but he’d never allow Logan near you.”
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and lacing his long fingers together. “I expect my uncle to approach me next. Women in his culture have nothing. He would give you to one of his sons for breeding, in the hopes that you would produce another powerful mage.”
“So you’re the lesser of all the evils. Is that what you’re saying?” I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. It was a harsh and calloused thing to say even if it felt like the truth to me. His face fell into his hands. Damn. “I’m sorry, Kellen. It’s really hard for me to see the silver lining in this. Why can’t I just hand this over to you?”
He looked up at me. His whole face pulling into a deep frown. “Because I am the usurper trying to steal North America from you,” he replied, his lip curled in disgust. He rose from his seat and paced towards the window. “Do you know why my parents came to America?”
He didn’t turn around, so I didn’t answer.
“For the same reason thousands of others do. The freedom to raise their kids without fear of persecution.” He ran his fingers through his dark hair and turned to me. “Kate and I were both born in Egypt. But when my parents realized my sister only had one element, they packed up their stuff and moved here. Single mages under my uncle’s rule are executed at thirty years old if they don’t find a partner. They believe it’s more humane than allowing the mage to suffer insanity.” He bit his lower lip, and I found myself twisting the end of my shirt. “I never understood why it surprised my parents that she only had one, until your elemental revealed my mother’s ancestry. Kate should have had two elements. We moved here hoping she would find a partner, but she hasn’t.”
He turned back to the window. I felt guilty for my impatience, but he really needed to get to the point. His parents’ choice made sense. I wouldn’t have stayed either had I been in their position.
“My parents fought against the corruption the Magister sowed deep within this palace. They dedicated so much of their time and resources trying to fix what was broken.” His breath hitched, but he didn’t turn around. “The Magister had them killed for it. I didn’t know she was responsible until years later when I was part of her court. I should’ve known she wasn’t capable of kindness or compassion. I’d heard about Logan’s fate and the rumors around her involvement with the vampires.” Kellen shook his head. “But I needed someone to care about me and take care of Kate. I was so stupid. Regardless of my blindness, I grew to love this place. It’s my home, and I’ve given up everything in my fight to keep it.”
I glanced at Logan, suspecting I held the same pitiful look on my face. Kellen didn’t need pity, though.
“That doesn’t make you a usurper, Kellen,” I said.
“No, but it makes me a foreigner trying to rule a people who are not mine to rule.” He turned towards us, his brows nearly meeting each other. “You can leave, granting the mage council leadership, but they aren’t strong enough to keep another royal family from coming in and taking over. The mages have always been led by royalty. We can change it, but it needs to happen in phases or it’ll never work.”
“So you and I need to be the ruling party until the council is strong enough to keep the others out?” I asked.
He nodded. “I don’t hate you, AJ. I’m stupid, selfish, and arrogant, but I promise to treat you with kindness and respect. I promise I won’t take your freedom from you.”
I looked down at my fingers now tangled in my shirt. “I can’t love you, Kellen.”
“I don’t expect you to. It’s obvious your heart belongs to Logan, and I won’t keep you apart.” He walked back to the sofa and sat down again. “I told you, he will have free access to the palace. I only ask that our secrets remain between us.”
We both looked at my vampire. It wasn’t just my decision.
“AJ and I will never be able to have an open relationship,” Logan said. “It’s probably better if we keep it to ourselves anyway. It’s already been used against us once. We only put our lives at risk if we carry our emotions in public.”
“What exactly did we just decide?” I asked, fearing I’d just agreed to everything I said I wouldn’t.
Logan and Kellen looked at one another and shrugged. Men! How did they accept these things so easily? Or did they just hide it?
“We’ll announce our engagement in the next couple days,” Kellen said. “We don’t have to set a wedding date any time soon. I’d like to expand this suite to include two bedrooms, giving each of us our own personal space.” He paused and settled his gaze on my vampire. “I’d like to continue our efforts to collect information about Jack’s plans. I think it’s even more important now than before.”
“I agree,” Logan said. “But you need to fix the portal first. I can—or could, until today—use the portal as long as AJ was with me. Something changed today.”
Kellen frowned. “We haven’t done anything to the portals. Changing one would force a change in all of them, and I assure you that hasn’t happened.”
I gaped at
Logan. If it wasn’t the portal, it was him. Could it be his recent change in diet?
“Is it your lack of human blood?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t think so, but that’s the only thing that’s changed.”
“What are you two talking about?” Kellen asked.
“It’s not like you can keep it secret forever, Logan,” I said. “And it might be better for him to hear about it before he sees it in battle.”
My vampire rubbed his hands across his face, then looked over at Kellen. “To prevent me from trying to bite AJ in dire situations, I was given a gift. It’s turned out to be more of a curse, though.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I no longer need human blood to survive. Vampire blood has replaced it.”
Kellen’s eyebrows raced to his hairline and his eyes darted back and forth between me and Logan. “No shit?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to discuss the details.” Logan ran his fingers through his hair. “The portal only allows the living to pass through. I’ve successfully used it several times as long as AJ was with me. Her body created enough of an illusion of a living being to keep the portal’s magic from killing me.”
“Okay, I need a minute to think about how the portals work.” Kellen stood and tapped his finger on his chin, mumbling to himself and pacing back and forth. I didn’t realize he was that familiar with the portal’s magic, but it made sense. I was certain he fixed the one at his home after our last escapade. “I don’t think that’s it,” he said after a few moments. “You’re still a vampire, regardless of your diet. You didn’t become even more dead. It has to be AJ.” He stopped his pacing and looked at me. “What’s changed for you?”
Time to let it all out of the bag, or at least some of it. I would never speak of my spirit elemental.
“I can move faster, see in the dark and hear really well, but I still like pasta and coffee,” I replied. “There is no blood in my diet, not even rare meat.”
“Are you willing to test a few things?” Kellen asked.
“No!” Logan and I answered together.
“Today’s experience was painful,” Logan said. “I was pretty sure my heart stopped. I’m not willing to risk AJ’s life.”
Vampire's Crucible Page 18
