But today, he noticed something amiss with his Kate. His Kate. That was the only way he thought of her now, like a priceless treasure. Her jaw was noticeably swollen, with bruises discoloring her otherwise-perfect skin. She looked a little like James Zimmerman the day after he got his wisdom teeth out.
Once they started into hymn-singing, he reached over and tapped Elmer on the shoulder. “What happened to Kate?” he whispered, keeping his head and his voice as low as possible. Two men next to him frowned in annoyance.
Elmer’s face clouded over, and he scowled outright. “After services,” he said. Nathaniel could tell he got the curt response not because Elmer was irritated by the interruption, but because a few short sentences in the middle of singing-time were insufficient to relate the story.
Nathaniel’s curiosity grew.
After services, Elmer motioned for Nathaniel to meet him outside. Nathaniel nodded. Kate, arm in arm with her mother, filed out ahead as Nathaniel pushed Dat’s wheelchair to the door. Kate turned to glance in Nathaniel’s direction, and he winked at her unashamedly. Her face lit up in a disarming smile.
Three men helped Nathaniel lift the wheelchair off the stairs and onto the flagstones. Two other men stood by to help Nathaniel put his dat in the buggy. Outside, the muggy air of late July still felt cooler than the stuffy rooms where they held gmay.
Scanning the group of people, Nathaniel caught sight of Elmer standing with Kate, separate from everyone else. “Mamm,” he said. “Could you take Dat to the buggy? I will be right there.”
Mamm pushed the wheelchair away, and Nathaniel hurried to Elmer and Kate. “Hello, Kate. You look very pretty this fine morning.”
Kate blushed and put her hand to her swollen cheek.
Elmer pinned Kate with a meaningful gaze. “Nathaniel wants to know what happened to your face.”
Kate glared back at Elmer. “Does he?”
Elmer and Kate glared at each other, communicating thoughts Nathaniel could not hope to understand.
Elmer massaged the back of his neck and squinted at Nathaniel. “Aaron—”
Kate turned her face from both of them. “Don’t, Elmer.”
“What about Aaron?”
Elmer kicked the grass. “Come on, Kate.”
Nathaniel held out his hand to silence Elmer. “Nae, if this makes her uncomfortable, I will not pry further.”
Kate glanced at Elmer. “It was nothing. No use crying about the milk after the cow overturns the bucket.”
Nathaniel studied her bruised skin and swollen jawline. This was not “nothing.” It took all the willpower he had not to reach out his hand and caress her face right here in public. Ach, he knew if he had his way, he would pull Kate into his arms and kiss her again and again in front of everyone. But he wasn’t going to get his way today.
The men had Dat settled in the buggy, and Mamm waited patiently in the front seat. “I must go,” Nathaniel said, with one serious look at Kate. “You will come to the gathering at Millers’ this week?”
“Jah, I will be there,” she said.
He smiled to reassure her. “I will see you then.”
She smiled back and took Elmer’s arm. “See you then.”
Frustrated and confused, Nathaniel trudged to his buggy, trying to keep dark thoughts about Aaron from his mind.
* * * * *
Later the next day, Nathaniel slipped into Aaron’s stable, hoping to find Kate’s brother there alone. “Aaron,” Nathaniel called when he didn’t immediately see the man in the dimness.
“Here,” Aaron said.
Nathaniel followed the voice to the compartment where Aaron pitched hay to his horses. When Aaron caught sight of Nathaniel, he smiled widely and leaned his pitchfork against the wall. “Nathaniel,” he said, extending his hand.
Nathaniel hesitated then grasped Aaron’s hand tightly. He had come to deliver a message, not make an enemy.
“If you are here to help with the buggy,” Aaron said, “My dat and the deacon helped me fix it already. One wheel hub wobbled something ugly, but I think we got it worked out. Thank you for coming, though.”
“I didn’t know about your buggy.”
“Then come in and have a piece of coconut crème pie that Sarah made. It’ll put some fat around your middle.”
“I didn’t come to eat your food. I came because I have something to say to you.”
Aaron’s eyes narrowed, and he slowly reached back and laid hands on his pitchfork. “Then say it,” he replied, pitching hay with renewed purpose. Did he know what was coming?
Nathaniel placed a firm hand on Aaron’s shoulder, compelling him to stop what he was doing. Aaron froze then stood up straight and stabbed the pitchfork into the bale of hay at his feet. “What do you want?”
“As a fellow citizen in Christ, I bear you no ill will. I know how tempers can flare in a heated moment.” Nathaniel trained his eyes on Aaron, daring him to look away. “But don’t ever lay hands on my Kate again.”
“What I do in my own family is my business.”
“Kate is the girl I hope to marry someday, so your treatment of her becomes my business.”
“I am trying to keep her from shaming herself and our family. If you ask me, you should be courting elsewhere.”
The hint was not lost on Nathaniel. Sarah Schwartz was a lucky girl. She had so many people working to get her married off.
“Whom I choose to court is truly my business,” Nathaniel said through gritted teeth. “But I will not stand by and let you bruise Kate’s feelings.” He moved close enough so Aaron could feel Nathaniel’s breath on his face. “Keep your hands off her.”
He backed away quickly, too angry to trust himself any longer. Nathaniel reached over and handed Aaron his pitchfork. “Enjoy that pie.”
Not shying away from Aaron’s glare, he put his hands in his pockets and strolled out of the stable.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The buggy rolled along the main road into Cashton with Elmer at the reins and Kate, Mary, and Mary’s little ones riding along. Mary sat up front with Elmer, and Kate sat next to Sadie in the back. Holding baby Luke tightly in her arms, Kate fussed and fidgeted more than the baby did. She bounced him up and down and played games with first his toes and then Sadie’s toes and sang silly little rhymes to both of them.
Mary turned to watch all the activity behind her. “You are really in a state, aren’t you, Katie?”
“I cannot help it. He doesn’t even know I’m coming.”
“Why so ferhoodled? You see him two or three times a week already.”
Kate’s heart leapt like a ballerina. “I know, but that doesn’t matter today. We are going to his house to see him and his mamm together.” How would he respond under his mother’s watchful eye?
The outing came about because Mary needed some gripe water from Miriam for the baby, who’d seemed a little colicky of late. After a visit to the Kings’, they planned to stop at the park because Sadie loved the swings. Elmer, who never passed up a chance to drive the buggy, had agreed to take them, and Mary had invited Kate to come along for obvious reasons.
“You don’t think Nathaniel’s mamm will be pleased to see you?” Mary said.
Sighing in frustration, Kate leaned back and ran her fingers across the baby’s soft head. The constant pressure to make the most important decision of her life grew unbearably heavy as the summer waned. Nathaniel had fallen completely mute about the impending semester, but his eyes reflected a desperate urgency whenever they were together.
She’d prayed and prayed until her knees ached, and she felt certain the heavens were not taking any more requests. Her academy schedule had arrived this morning. Was that her answer or just another stumbling block to trip her up and muddy the already-murky choices? She needed to buy music, find a place to live, and contact the academy for another grant. Her to-do list made her head spin.
Two years ago she had been so sure of herself. But now? Was the uncertainty a sign for her to keep to
the path or get off it? And if she was on the right path, how could she bear to leave Nathaniel?
Elmer stopped at a crossroads before the turn into Nathaniel’s lane, and the buggy bounced lightly as he prodded the horse forward.
Then a squeal of brakes and a terrified scream rent the air, and they were jolted violently to the right. Kate instinctively clutched the baby to her chest as the buggy tumbled onto its side and sent the passengers rolling like pebbles in a river. Shattered glass cascaded over them like rain.
The buggy came to rest on its side, and Kate felt like a misused rag doll. Slowly, painfully, she sat up, clutching the baby firmly with one arm and pulling Sadie to her lap with the other. Blood dripped from the little girl’s nose. Sadie started screaming.
“Hush, hush, now,” Kate said, kissing Sadie’s forehead and holding her close. With the edge of her apron, Kate did her best to wipe the blood from Sadie’s face.
Over the din of both children crying, Kate became aware of the noisy confusion outside the buggy. The horse whinnied and moaned, making sounds Kate had never heard from an animal before. Voices came into her hearing—some barking orders, some crying.
“My babies! Get my babies!” Kate heard Mary scream. At least Mary sounded unhurt.
Nathaniel’s voice boomed from several feet away. “I’ll get them. Stay calm, Mary.”
“Kate’s in there too,” Mary wailed.
“Kate!” She heard Nathaniel roar, closer now, alarm tearing from his throat.
He thrust his head into the opening of the buggy, his eyes wild with fear. “Kate, are you all right?” he said, panting with every word.
She nodded, too shaken to speak.
“Thank the Lord, praise the Lord,” he said, exhaling what must have been every bit of air in his lungs.
He held out his arms. “Cum, Sadie, I’ve got you.”
Sadie leaned forward, and he lifted her out of the buggy. He hugged her tightly, and she lay her head on his shoulder.
Nathaniel briefly disappeared from sight then reappeared with empty arms. He reached out to Kate, and she handed him the baby. Their eyes held, and she saw concern etched on every line of his face. A distant siren hummed like an approaching storm.
“I’m coming for you,” he said before disappearing once again, this time with the baby in his grasp.
With all the racket, Kate didn’t understand most of what she heard. Nathaniel barked a few orders Kate could not decipher, and then he crouched and stuck his head into the buggy once more. Taking Kate firmly by the arms, he pulled her up and out of the crippled buggy. She cried out in pain before finding her balance and standing. Without hesitation, Nathaniel wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her close. She in turn threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. She could feel him trembling as she tried to catch her breath. He held her as if he had not the slightest intention of ever letting go.
A police car with sirens blaring pulled up to the overturned buggy, and Nathaniel reluctantly released his grip. He nudged her away and studied her face. “Are you hurt?” he asked, his hands on her arms.
“Just shaken.”
Kate surveyed the accident scene. A bulky car sat next to the crushed front wheel of the buggy, which was partially pinning Rollie’s hind leg. Elmer cut the harness loose, and the injured horse flailed then managed to jump up and away from the wreckage. Kate looked at Rollie’s leg. It was bleeding a bit, but he seemed capable of walking on it.
Nathaniel took Kate’s hand and led her away from the buggy. Mary sat on the ground, grimacing in pain as she held her right arm in her left hand. Sadie stood beside her, still crying. “Onkel Elmer,” she cried, pointing to Elmer, who had blood trickling down the side of his face. “Mamma, Elmer is hurt!”
“Hush, liebe. Elmer will be all right,” Mary said.
Nathaniel’s mamm stood a short way off, trying to calm baby Luke, while Elmer stayed beside the distressed horse, whispering words Kate could not hear.
Nathaniel squeezed Kate’s hand and went to Elmer’s side.
Sadie pulled on her mamm’s dress. Kate knelt beside them as Mary held her arm and gasped in pain.
“It’s broken…I know it’s broken,” Mary said. “How will I ever do the canning?”
With a determined look in her eye, Miriam handed the baby to Kate. “Go and sit under the tree where it’s cool. I’ll see to your sister.”
Kate managed to get both little ones to the grass inside Nathaniel’s gate. She eased Sadie to the ground and sat cross-legged, cradling the baby, before pulling Sadie onto her lap. Both children were still crying, too frightened and shaken up to calm down. Kate wanted to bawl right along with them.
She looked to the road. Nathaniel was in a discussion with one of the policemen. Miriam and a paramedic tended to Mary, while another paramedic knelt by the car and talked to an old man who sat in the driver’s seat with the door open, his legs resting on the pavement.
“Shh, shh,” Kate said over and over. “Everything will be all right.” But with the deafening sirens, the glaring police lights, and the surrounding chaos, Kate found it impossible to console the children.
Music had always been her first and last refuge from a sometimes-insane world. So she did the only thing she could think of doing.
She started to sing.
“‘Be still, my soul,’” she sang softly. An old German hymn, not one from the Ausbund but one Maria had sung to comfort her baby. “‘Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side. Bear patiently thy cross of grief or pain.’”
To her amazement and relief, both children stopped crying almost instantly and looked at her with wide, curious eyes.
“‘Leave to thy God to order and provide; in every change, He faithful will remain.’”
The noise around them grew distant as she persevered, her voice clear and strong enough to drown out the confusion.
“‘Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heav’nly Friend, thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.’”
The children stared at her in rapt attention as she began another verse. “‘Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake to guide the future as He has the past.’”
Then something caught her completely off guard.
With every breath she took, a radiating warmth flowed into her body until, by the time she finished the second verse, she was filled to overflowing with light. The powerful warmth surged through her arms and legs, infusing her with a strength she had never before experienced. Kate looked down at her hands to see if she was, in truth, glowing, so on fire did she feel. The sensation encompassed her entire being, and for the first time in her life, she could see clearly. The clouds parted from her mind. Her struggles, her life, her self all came into view with perfect clarity.
“Leave to thy God to order and provide.”
“Kate, thou art careful and troubled about many things, but one thing is needful.”
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
The fabric of her life had stretched and frayed until she almost didn’t recognize herself. But in this moment Kate knew what God wanted for her. She had been born to the simple and Plain life and could not twist tightly enough to fit into a world that wasn’t hers. She had been hoping God would fit Himself somewhere into her plans, instead of letting Him mold her into His own treasure.
Kate closed her eyes and began to hum. In a rush of insight and emotion, she saw herself singing to a baby—her baby—songs that would tell the baby she loved him. She heard the melodies she would sing to mend a skinned knee or comfort a wounded heart. There were no concert halls with crystal chandeliers or velvet upholstery, only the priceless love of children and her husband and her love for God and His love for her. She would put her hand in God’s and walk through the valley of the shadow of death to bring precious souls into this world. To be a mother—the highest, holiest, most sacred calling she could have or aspire to.
Here was her answer. Right here, here in this wonderful, compassionate, flawed,
and struggling community was where she belonged, possessed of the love of a good man and ready to give her all to her future family.
Filled to the brim yet lighter than air, she wanted to shout in jubilation, to rush to Nathaniel and tell him what she had discovered. To share the gift she had been given.
He must have sensed her gaze, because he glanced up and his eyes locked on hers. Even amid the swirling confusion, he didn’t look away. His frown disappeared, and he studied her in puzzlement.
Did she look different? She felt different, as if she had traveled a thousand miles and a hundred lifetimes in a few short minutes.
The world around them ceased to exist, and they stared at each other across the tumult, communicating thoughts that could not be put into words. His eyes never strayed from her face, as if he were trying to read every line to understand what he saw there. She held her breath, almost unable to bear the intense rush of ecstasy she felt when his eyes were upon her.
“I love you.” Her lips formed the words she was too overjoyed to speak.
Nathaniel must have understood. In spite of the circumstances, he smiled at her with his whole face.
The moment evaporated as suddenly as it had come. A policeman tapped Nathaniel on the shoulder, and the connection broke.
“Elmer has blood,” Sadie said, distressed to see her uncle in such a state. A single tear made a trail down her cheek.
“Do not fret, leibe. The doctor will take care of him.”
Kate watched as Nathaniel tried to convince the unsteady Elmer to sit down. Elmer’s eyes were glossy and stared absently, but Elmer would not budge. He persisted in whispering words of comfort to his frightened horse. Nathaniel motioned for a paramedic to look at Elmer’s bleeding head. Kate couldn’t see the wound under Elmer’s hair, but judging from the blood on his shirt, he would need stitches.
Kate’s Song Page 15
