Kate’s Song

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Kate’s Song Page 23

by Jennifer Beckstrand

Haley’s mother pulled the notebook and pen from her purse and handed it to Haley who, in turn, placed it in Kate’s lap.

  Kate smiled and wrote a small portion of what was in her heart.

  To Haley. Today you were an answer to my prayers. I think that makes you one of God’s angels. You are a very special little girl. Love, Kate Weaver/Juliette

  Kate handed Haley the pen and notebook.

  “What do you say?” her mother prompted.

  “Thank you,” Haley said.

  Haley’s mother held out her hand to her daughter. “Come on, honey. We need to go find our seats. Good luck—I mean, break a leg tonight.”

  Haley took her mother’s hand, looked at Kate, and held out the apple. “A lady gave this to me. You can have it.”

  Kate took the apple. How could she refuse a gift that had traveled such a long way?

  Kate cradled the apple in her lap and played Haley’s song in her head again. What to do now?

  As she watched the young mother tenderly lead her daughter away, the answer came to her as gently as a wispy melody played on a flute.

  “Choose that good part, which shall not be taken away from you.”

  “Be still, and know that I am God.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  In spite of the fact that the opera started almost fifteen minutes late because the leading lady mysteriously disappeared mere minutes before curtain time, the final performance of Milwaukee Music Academy’s Romeo et Juliette proved to be its finest. Kate played every scene with all the emotion of a farewell performance. Because it was.

  She almost lost her composure during the death scene with Ryan, thinking of her affection for her friends at the academy, her love of opera, and what she was giving up with her heartrending choice. But her inner conflict lent that much more emotion to the scene, and she knew she would always remember it fondly as her finest performance.

  When the final curtain fell, the applause was thunderous, deafening. Ryan threw his arms around her and kissed her jubilantly on the mouth. She hugged him back, and he helped her off her marble perch.

  “Remember me when you’re famous,” he said.

  The curtain went up, and she and Ryan swept hand in hand to the front of the stage for a bow. The applause never subsided as the ensemble and the other principles came onto the stage for curtain call. The curtain went down again and they stepped back, but the thrilled crowd kept clapping.

  Kate and Ryan came out to the front again. Kate motioned to the usher at the front of the theater and, on cue, he lifted little Haley onto the stage. Haley walked politely and a little timidly to Kate. Kate turned Haley to face the audience, and Haley performed a perfect curtsy.

  The audience laughed and clapped. Kate laughed with them. She scanned the faces of the crowd. Many of them were in tears but beaming at the same time.

  She caught her breath. Her parents stood in the very last row of the theater, looking uncertain but smiling and clapping their hands as well. She couldn’t believe it. Had Mamma and Dat seen the performance?

  Kate couldn’t help herself. She bolted down the steps and up the aisle to where her parents stood. They wrapped themselves around her and held on for dear life. The audience roared its approval.

  Haley and Ryan stood alone. Ryan picked up a rose that had been thrown onstage and, with a show of supreme gallantry, presented it to Haley. Haley kissed Ryan on the cheek, and they walked off the stage holding hands.

  * * * * *

  With elbows linked and no intention of letting go, Kate stood close to her mother while a horde of admirers filed past.

  “Splendid, absolutely splendid.”

  “We can’t remember a better performance.”

  “How can you cry and sing at the same time? I couldn’t hold back the tears.”

  “Wonderful, wonderful, and is this your mother? Are you Amish?”

  Kate smiled with satisfaction and relief. “Yes, I am.” At least she knew that much.

  Her mother held on tighter.

  The crowds thinned out, and Kate and her parents found themselves standing alone. “You got my message,” Kate said.

  Dat wiped some moisture from behind his glasses. “Jah. You want to be baptized.”

  “Jah,” Kate said. “I want to be who God wants me to be.”

  “You were beautiful, Katie,” Mamma said. “To think you can bring so much happiness to so many people. It makes my head spin. I finally understand why giving this up has been such a hard choice for you.”

  “But once it all became clear, it did not seem so hard.” Kate and her parents gazed at each other, and Mamma squeezed her more tightly.

  “Why did you come to my performance?” Kate said. “Does Ada know?”

  Dat scratched his beard. “If we must sit in the front row of church for a few weeks, we must. I do not care what Ada knows.”

  “I felt so empty, watching you enter a place I could not go,” Mamma said. “The bishop will do what he will do about it. I do not regret it for the world.”

  Kate spied Maria across the lobby. “Mamma, I must go explain to Maria. I will be back.”

  Dat sighed. “And I suppose we should find Ada. She did not come to the performance, but she stayed to see if we would have a wicked look to us after the opera. We will meet you back here in a few minutes.”

  Kate hadn’t had a chance to change out of her costume yet, so she lifted her skirts and jogged to Maria’s side before she could leave. “Where is Alex?”

  “The babysitter took him home earlier,” Maria said. “I wanted to bring him so we could get a picture before your last performance.” She hugged Kate. “You sang so beautifully tonight. My voice is never going to be that good, but if you’re my teacher, I’m sure I’ll improve over time.”

  Kate didn’t know any way to soften the truth. “I’m not coming back.”

  “You mean…to my apartment?”

  “No, I am not coming back to the academy, Maria. I have made the decision to be baptized.”

  Maria clapped her hands in delight and then, as if thinking better of it, turned serious. “You know I’m going to miss you like my own soul, but I’ve sensed for a long time that the academy is not where your heart is.” She draped her arm over Kate’s shoulders. “I mean, you have this big curtain call with like a hundred bows and all you want to do is jump off the stage and hug your parents. It’s obvious.”

  Kate smiled. “Give Alex a kiss for me every day.”

  “And you must write me at least once a week.”

  “I will, Lord willing,” Kate said. Then she couldn’t help herself. “Choose your friends wisely.”

  Maria didn’t take offense. “Don’t worry. I’ve learned my lesson. Alex is the only man in my life from now on. I promise. And Carlos. I guess Carlos counts for something.”

  Maria rifled through her purse and pulled out a small photo. She handed it to Kate—a smiling mother cuddling her chubby baby. “Are you allowed to have this? To remember me?”

  Kate smiled at the memory of little Alex’s cherubic face. “He is worth every bit of trouble, jah?”

  “Si, the only good thing to come from me and Jared.”

  “Not the only thing.” Kate pressed her hand to Maria’s heart. “This came from our afflictions.”

  Maria closed her eyes and nodded. “I will never forget.” She breathed a sigh and fished her keys out of her purse. “You will stay at my apartment tonight?”

  “Jah, and then on to Ohio as soon as I can make arrangements.”

  “Ohio?”

  “To my sister Hannah.”

  Maria glanced over Kate’s shoulder and shook her head. “I don’t know what that brother of mine thinks he’s doing.” She looped the purse over her shoulder. “Tell Carlos I’ll talk to him in the morning.” She squeezed Kate’s hand and was gone.

  Chelsea, Shannon, and Carlos charged Kate from behind. Carlos poked Shannon in the ribs, and Shannon giggled hysterically. “You were great tonight, Kate,” she said betw
een giggles. “I cried clear through the death scene from backstage.”

  Kate’s parents, with Ada in tow, made it back to Kate’s side. “That hard bench gave me a pain right here,” Ada said, kneading her lower back. “I sat there for like as not three hours.”

  “Hey, Kate,” Shannon said. “My parents are meeting me at Jean Chevalier’s downtown for some dessert. Wanna come?”

  “No, thank you,” Kate said, putting her arm around her mother. “I have to get back to Maria’s in good time tonight.”

  Shannon turned to Carlos. “How about you? Wanna come?”

  Carlos, who had been smiling a few seconds earlier, glumly put his hands into his pockets. “I have to work early,” he mumbled. “I’ll see you later.” He exited the building like a bull trying to escape the branding iron.

  Shannon pounded her forehead with her palm. “Oh, Jean Chevalier’s is the most expensive place in town. Why didn’t I suggest the Dairy Queen? How stupid could I be?”

  Kate watched Carlos through the glass doors as he trudged dejectedly down the steps. “He’s ferhext for sure.”

  A faint smile emerged on Shannon’s face. “Ferhext?”

  “Smitten,” Kate said.

  Shannon sighed. “I wish. But he’d never actually ask me out.”

  “Why not?”

  “He thinks he’s from the wrong side of the tracks or something ridiculous like that.”

  Dr. Sumsion came bustling toward their little circle. “Chelsea, Shannon, good job tonight. Kate, Mrs. LeFevre says she’ll call you next week. In spite of your little outburst beforehand, you exceeded expectations. Don’t worry. You’re not the first girl to let the pressure of a lead role get to her.”

  Kate tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and looked at the people surrounding her. Might as well inform the whole world all at once. “Dr. Sumsion, I know how much you have sacrificed so I could attend the academy. But the music in my heart sings a melody that I have ignored for too long. I ache for the place my heart and song have always been—among my own people. I’m sorry, but I won’t be returning to the academy.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Kate saw Shannon tilt her head to be sure she’d heard correctly. She smiled, produced her phone from her purse, and began frantically pressing the screen.

  Dat took off his glasses and wiped his eyes.

  Dr. Sumsion was silent for several seconds. “I can’t pretend I’m not disappointed. You know I care for you, and I don’t want you to wonder or regret what could have been.”

  Kate gazed steadily at Dr. Sumsion. “No amount of regret compares with knowing God’s will and failing to do it. I am sure of what God wants me to do. Without a doubt, I have felt His guiding hand. Understanding what I give up and knowing that I choose freely makes my choice more precious to me.”

  Shannon looked up from her phone. “Now that she’s going back, maybe she can win Nathaniel again. Although I wouldn’t give Nathaniel King the time of day if I were Kate.”

  “Nathaniel King!” Ada said, delighted to share her good news. “He and my sister Sarah are practically engaged.”

  Shannon abruptly turned off her phone and stuffed it into her purse. “Nathaniel? Kate’s Nathaniel?”

  “I can’t see as how you could call him ‘Kate’s Nathaniel’ when he’s been courting my sister for the last three months,” Ada said, pursing her lips and blinking rapidly.

  “He didn’t take long moving on to greener pastures, did he?” Shannon said.

  Ada lifted her chin. “It doesn’t take a genius to see that Sarah is better suited to him. She is the bishop’s daughter. Nathaniel is a person of importance in our community. I would not be surprised if he were bishop someday. But not if he married Kate—with her history of flitting about the world, performing in operas and such.” Ada’s gaze moved from one person to another. “Anyone with a lick of sense can see that.”

  No one spoke.

  After a long pause, Shannon quit staring at Ada and rummaged through her purse. “You’ll have to give him my congratulations for finding his perfect match.” She pulled out a business card and wrote something on the back of it. “Give this to him for me.”

  Ada studied Shannon’s handwritten message. “Proverbs 12:15. What’s that?”

  “A good-luck message.”

  “I’ll see he gets it,” Ada said, looking a bit confused.

  “Now,” Shannon said, “Kate and I are going to change clothes before the costume mistress comes for us with a shotgun.”

  Kate hugged Dr. Sumsion. Dr. Sumsion took a few seconds to hug her back. “I’m glad it’s Friday,” she said. “I need a good long weekend to work up the nerve to break the news to Dr. Dibble.”

  Shannon tugged Kate’s sleeve, and Kate followed her down the hall.

  “You have business cards?” Kate asked.

  “Oh, I had some made up in case I wanted to give a guy my phone number.”

  “What did you write on the card you gave Ada?” Kate said.

  “Proverbs 12:15. ‘The way of a fool is right in his own eyes.’”

  “I wish I could see Ada’s face when she discovers what it says.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  After changing, Shannon and Kate rejoined Kate’s parents and Ada in the lobby.

  Shannon glanced at her phone and sighed. “I’ve gotta head out,” she said. “I’ll miss you like crazy, Kate. Plus, I’ll need to find a new diction coach. If you ever need anything, call me.” She paused. “Oh, I forgot. You can’t call me. Send me a letter. Anytime.”

  “Shannon, I can call. There are phones where I live.”

  “Okay, then. Give me a ring.” She held up her phone. “I always have it with me.”

  Kate laughed. “I can count on that.”

  Shannon gave Kate one last smile and then she was gone, blowing through the tall glass door like an Indian-summer breeze.

  Choosing one path means rejecting another. Every choice involves regret and sacrifice and hope.

  Kate went to her parents and touched Dat’s elbow. “Ada, I need to talk to Dat and Mamma privately for a minute. You’ll forgive me?”

  “Take your time,” Ada said, finding a digital clock above the box office window. “Madeline won’t be here for another fifteen minutes.”

  Although a chilly November wind whipped the leaves around the academy building, Kate and her parents walked outside and found a place to sit on the steps.

  Kate wrapped her arms around her legs and propped her chin on her knees. “What will you do about Aaron?” she said quietly.

  Dat looked stricken at the mention of his eldest son. “I do not know yet. I will not speak to him until I am sure. The bishop might think a shunning necessary.”

  “The bishop? Aaron is married to his daughter.”

  Dat studied the cracks in the cement at his feet. “Bishop will do what is best for the community and the gmay. My challenge will be to forgive him.”

  Kate tried not to dwell on Aaron’s sins. She had pressing concerns of her own. “Mamma and Dat, you know I love you,” she said, shivering slightly in the cold.

  “Jah. You know we love you,” Mamma said.

  “I want to see Elmer and Mary and the twins something terrible.”

  “Jah, no doubt,” Dat said.

  “But I’m not coming back to Apple Lake,” Kate said.

  The distressed look returned to Mamma’s eyes. “But you told us—”

  “On the night of the buggy accident, I got my answer. I’m ready to be baptized. But I want to join the church in Ohio. More than once, Hannah has invited me to live with her.”

  “Leibe, why do you want to go to Ohio with your sister? So far away from your family?” Mamma said.

  “I cannot close my eyes to the truth. Nathaniel has made his feelings clear about my part in Jared’s death. I have lost him forever, and I cannot bear to be near him.”

  “You would not have to see him. We have no reason to invite him into our home ever again.”

>   “No, Mamma. I would see him everywhere. At gmay and auctions and barn raisings, at Ada’s house… And I would see him even where he is not—strolling around Barker’s Pond, leaning on our porch railing, playing baseball with the kinner. I could not even confine myself to the house, he’s been there so many times.”

  Dat reached across Mamma and took Kate’s hand. “The wound is still fresh. Time and the Lord Jesus will heal everything.”

  “But the wound would tear open every time I saw his face. I cannot bear it, Dat. Please don’t ask me to.”

  Dat tilted his head. “You think one summer with you was plenty for me and Mamma? It would crush your mamma to be without you again.”

  Mamma nodded, her eyes brimming with tears.

  “You could come visiting. I could come visiting,” Kate said.

  “That is not good enough,” Dat said. “You need to be near your family. We can help you heal.”

  Kate thought of Ada’s smug expression as she described Sarah’s triumph. “Please do not force me to endure Ada’s gloating and Aaron’s lectures. Let them exult over me from a distance.” She looked at her mother pleadingly. “I cannot endure it, Mamma.”

  Dat rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. “Nathaniel is not the only worthy man in the community. In time you will find another.”

  “What would you do if, heaven forbid, you lost Mamma?” Kate said.

  Dat closed his eyes. “I know what you want me to say. Of course I would…” He sighed in resignation and patted Mamma’s hand. “I would not be able to put two words together to form a sentence. But I would accept God’s will.”

  “Can you imagine me being reminded every day that the man I love is lost to me forever?”

  “We could ask Ada and Aaron to move to La Crosse,” Dat said.

  Both Kate and Dat burst into bitter laughter at the same time. Mamma, who sat between them, didn’t see the humor.

  “Do you think they would agree?” Kate said.

  Dat stood up and pulled Mamma with him. He held out his hand to Kate and helped her up as well. “You may go for a visit. But when summer comes, I want you coming home for good.”

  “But—”

  He held up his hand. “None of this talk of staying in Holmes County. We’ve already let an Ohio boy take our Hannah. I won’t lose you too.”

 

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