“I know not having a father was hard. You don’t know what that kinda love is like, and I can only hope I did okay tryin’ to give you enough love for the both of us.” She surprises me. She was the best mom I needed and wanted. I never thought I was missing out because my dad wasn’t around.
My eyes water. “Mom… You did more than enough. You’re everything I’d want in a parent and friend. I don’t need a dad.”
“You’re wrong. Everyone needs a dad.” She chokes on her words and blinks back tears.
I stand and hug her. “I don’t want any other parent.” She sniffles into my shoulder, and I have to squeeze my eyes to keep my emotions at bay.
“All I’m sayin’ is that having a positive father figure is important for any child. You never got to see what a loving relationship between parents is like, between a couple. I wish it could’ve been different, but I would never do anything that would impose having you in my life.”
I sit back down, my dinner forgotten. Her eyes glide back to mine. “I want you to know what that feels like. Don’t think you owe me any kind of loyalty because I couldn’t have a lasting relationship with the man I loved. You could, and you should.”
My breath catches upon hearing that. I stare at her unblinking. “I—I don’t…” my words trail off. I didn’t think I felt that way, but maybe I do on a subconscious level?
“You know… You’re still young enough to find someone to spend your life with.” I look into her eyes, so she takes in the seriousness of my statement.
She shakes her head. “It’s true, Momma. You could meet someone. You’re beautiful, kind, selfless, and a great cook. What man wouldn’t want that? I’d kick his ass if he didn’t.”
She giggles and wipes under her eyes. “I don’t think that’s in the cards for me. My life was to have you, know a different kind of love, and give you the best life I could.”
“I disagree. I think you also deserve greatness,” I throw her words back at her. “Forty is the new thirty, anyway. You could find a sexy silver fox.” I waggle my eyebrows.
She smiles sadly. “Let’s eat and think about giving Miles a chance. I’ve known him his whole life, and I don’t believe he’d ever intentionally hurt you. No one is perfect, and we can all cause pain at one point in our lives, but Miles isn’t malicious.”
I swallow her words, let them settle in my heart, and decide to dissect them at another time. Right now, I want to enjoy dinner with my mom, so I change the subject, tell her about work and the book I’m reading, and we laugh together when I tell her about trying on clothes and my never giving up tacos. She promises to help me shop for a car and clothes, and everything is once again right in our world.
If there’s one reason I’m glad to be back in Willow Creek, it’s because of the woman who raised me. She’s my best friend, my cheerleader, and my strongest support. My mom always knows what to say to me, how to make things better. Growing up, I wondered why she never dated, and I suspect it’s because of me. She was busy being a mom, and I hate that she stopped herself from a relationship because of me.
I hope she realizes she still has time to find a man worthy of her. I’d want that for her. She may think it’s not in the cards she has been dealt, but I disagree. I believe we hold our cards and play for the ones we want. Life’s a gamble, and we can sit at the table, scared to lose our chips, or take a risk and go all-in.
With that final thought, I take a deep breath and know what I have to do. I can bet my life or play it safe and never know adventure, happiness, or love. I can only live vicariously through fictional characters for so long. It’s time I change my outlook of Willow Creek, see it with new eyes, and look at the good instead of the memories of the bad. And I need to make a bet if I want to live more than I have been the last few years of my life.
With a furiously beating heart, I decide to go all-in. If I lose my chips, then at least I’ll know I tried. Or I may win the best hand of my life.
Chapter 14
June
As promised, my mom has helped me shop for cars. We finally found one not too far from Willow Creek that we’re going to see tomorrow evening after she’s done with work. In the meantime, I’m enjoying my two days off and analyzing in minute detail my coffee “date” with Miles and my conversation with my mom. I’ve also been walking around and becoming reacquainted with Willow Creek as an adult and not the hurt teen that fled from this place.
I’ve come to learn that great people do live here. I went into the bakery on Monday to grab some treats for my mom and me, and the woman was so kind. I didn’t know who she was, but she remembered me. Although, that’s not a surprise. Since I always kept to myself, I have a vague memory of the people from here. I do remember the mean kids, but those are the ones that impacted me the most, proving that I’ve spent too much energy on them and not on the kindness that does exist around here—like Lucy, who’s been an amazing friend.
I head into The Book Nook for no other reason than to inhale the scent of well-written pages and look through the shelves. It’s my oasis.
“How are you, dear?” Mrs. Collins greets me with a warm smile.
“I’m good, and you?” I walk into the shop, glancing around to see if any new titles catch my attention. “Anything new I should know about?”
She chuckles. “You come in here often, so it’s hard to keep you on your toes. I did get a small shipment in on Saturday. Some thrillers on that table.” She points toward a small, square table that sits to the left of the counter.
I head that way and sort through the books, a few popular ones mixed in there. Nothing really calls to me, and I move to scan the shelves. I really have been here way too often, considering I’m staring at the same covers I did the last time I was here. However, I grab one of the books I had debated over and take it to the register.
“Did you finish that sexy cowboy story?” Mrs. Collins smiles mischievously.
I giggle and shake my head, patting my bag. “It’s in here. I’m almost done, but I couldn’t resist this one. It’s been an off week, so I’m treating myself to a fictional escape.”
“Is everything okay?” She tilts her head and pulls her eyebrows over her brown eyes.
“Yeah, just a few things to consider.” I sigh.
“I know what that’s like.” She nods mindlessly, looking around the store. “I want to retire next year, but this place holds me back. Roger is on me about taking things slower, traveling while we still can, and saying this store enslaves me. I love it here, so it doesn’t feel like a prison.”
“Wow,” I breathe out, unable to hide my surprise. “Retire?” The Book Nook has been here for as long as I can remember. It’s the only book shop in town since everyone now buys online, but I love the feel of walking into a store, touching the books, spending as much time as I’d like browsing lines of shelves.
“Yes. I wish I could find someone to buy it, but no one is interested in running this type of business. It doesn’t gain much, and younger people have their jobs. They don’t want the hassle of running a bookstore.”
“I wish I could buy it,” I blurt out before I can stop myself.
Mrs. Collins beams. “You’d be the perfect person to run this store. It’d make giving it up a bit easier. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
I chuckle awkwardly. “If only…” I don’t have the means or the knowledge to run a bookstore. I wish I did.
I thank Mrs. Collins after paying for my book and walk out of the shop in a daze. The Book Nook will be closing soon. That’s… I can’t imagine Willow Creek without a physical bookstore. I wander through the streets in town, not really looking where I’m going until my stomach rumbles. Time on my phone confirms it’s lunchtime. I didn’t even eat breakfast, only one cup of coffee at home. No wonder I’m starving.
I pull the door to the diner and look around. When the waitress carrying a stack of plates motions for me to sit anywhere with her free hand, I slide into a booth and grab the
menu. Sizzling bacon, pinging bells, and calls from within the kitchen fill the space. I inhale the saltiness of burgers, and my mouth waters and stomach growls in protest. I pat it as I would a whiny child, letting it know I’m taking care of the problem.
I decide on a burger and fries when the waitress comes around to take my order, and I smile in thanks when she drops off my Coke. The carbonated drink eases some of my hunger, and I pull out my current read until my lunch is ready. I’m lost in the story when I catch a swift movement out of the corner of my eye, and I jolt, wide-eyed and stare straight in front of me.
“Jesus…” I trail off, one hand on my chest to prevent my beating heart from racing out of it.
A deep chuckle makes me glare. Miles sits in the booth across from me after giving me a heart attack.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” His smile is so sweet I’m afraid I’ll get cavities.
Breathing normally, I glare at him with raised eyebrows.
“Why…” I shake my head. “Never mind. What do you want?”
“I saw you sitting here and thought I’d say hi.” He leans back, his arm draped casually along the back of the booth. If the dictionary has a picture example for the phrase casually confident, Miles would be on it.
“I was also thinking…” He leans forward, folding his fingers together and staring into my eyes for a length that makes me squirm uncomfortably. His suit jacket stretches with the tightness of the muscles in his biceps. “I also wanted to give you three reasons why you should consider having dinner with me.” He arches a brow, his green eyes mixing with amber specks.
“One,” he holds a finger up. “You get a free meal.”
“Ah, starting with the practical option first.”
“Of course.” One side of his mouth lifts in a grin. His hair is disheveled from his hands roaming through it, and his tie is slightly loosened.
“I can pay for my own meal,” I counter.
“You can,” he nods with confidence. “But, it’s always nice when you don’t have to. This isn’t about capabilities but taking advantage of an opportunity. For example, everyone runs to a store or restaurant when they’re offering something for free, even if it’s with purchase.”
I hold back my smile. When I don’t say anything, he takes it as a win for this round.
“Two,” his second finger lifts. “I’m great company. Anyone could affirm that.”
“People’s differences of opinions would sway that one way or another. There isn’t a person everyone collectively likes.” I lift a brow in challenge.
“I disagree. If you remember correctly, I was voted Nicest Person amongst other things our senior year.”
I shake my head, unimpressed. “Is that the best you’ve got?” This reminds me of when we’d have debates in high school. For some reason, Miles and I were never on the same team, and he always got a kick out of riling me up.
“Of course not. You should know I always save the best for last.” A slow smile creeps on his face. It brightens his eyes, making the mossy green livelier, as if the sun were shining on them.
“Three…” he draws the word out, a third finger joining the other two. Then, he stares into my eyes and never breaks contact. “I like you, and I want to know more about you. Not what book you’re reading, but what makes you tick, why you make the choices you do, who you admire, what passions you have.” His eyes widen a tiny bit when he says the word passions.
I’m struck silent. I stare back, speechless, and he smiles, knowing he’s won. A clanking sound breaks us apart as the waitress drops a plate with my food and stares between us with furrowed brows.
“Tense,” she murmurs under her breath and then turns to Miles. “What can I get ya?”
“Hey, Diane,” he smiles at her, and a wide grin breaks on her face. Damn it, he’s gonna prove me right about people loving him. “Do me a favor? You’ve known me for a while. Care to tell June what a great person I am?”
I roll my eyes, and Diane chuckles. “Darlin’, I could tell her, but then I’d make the work easier for ya.” Her voice is hoarse, as though she’s smoked for years. “But,” she looks at me. “Miles is one-of-a-kind. Once, he saw me stuck in a ditch on the side of the road, and he stopped without a second thought and helped me out. Never mind that he was dressed in one of his fancy suits,” she points at his attire, “and got mud all over him. When I offered to pay for dry cleaning, he waved me off, saying it was no big deal. Pretty sure he was late to work that day, too.”
Miles shrugs, looking a bit embarrassed with pink cheeks. “Anyone would’ve done that.” His change in mood contradicts his earlier confidence. It’s not the first time I’ve witnessed his sudden change from cocky confidence to timid humbleness.
“Well, ya wanted me to talk you up. Anyway, want your usual?”
“Yeah, to-go, please. Thanks, Diane.” He smiles back at me.
“I don’t have any expectations for dinner. I want to get to know you better, spend time with you, and eat good food. You don’t have to kiss me goodnight, though you may be tempted to, and I won’t deny you that,” he gives me a teasing smile and winks.
I roll my eyes, plucking a fry while I consider this. I wash it down with a sip of my drink.
“You make good points,” I admit. “However, you are my boss,” I lift a finger, imitating his earlier actions. “That’s complicated.”
A second one pops up. “We’re opposites and will run out of conversation, and you’ll be bored to death.”
My third finger lifts. “You can’t possibly like me when you don’t even know me anymore. Why do you care now? I’m not some random new girl in town. You knew me all your life, and never once did you care about me.”
“That’s not true. When we were kids, we used to hang out.”
“Not really.” I shake my head. “Why would you want to date Junebug, the girl everyone loved to make fun of and make miserable?” I watch him carefully, not caring that my burger is getting cold.
“You weren’t that kinda Junebug to me.”
“No? Because I never saw you defend me.” I cross my arms, willing my emotions to stay controlled.
“That’s not true. I did say something. Luke and I even had a falling out because of it when I told him to shut up.” He mentions his childhood best friend, who thankfully no longer lives in town.
My eyebrows fly up on my forehead as my eyes widen. “I thought you guys stopped being friends because he got Stacy to date him instead of you.”
“What? You knew about that?” He shakes his head. “Never mind. No, that’s not why. I tried speaking up about the way they treated you but got shut down.”
“That wasn’t enough. You didn’t do anything else. By staying silent, you were a willing participant.”
“June…” he sighs. “Maybe I should’ve done more. Maybe I was a participant by ignoring it. I didn’t know better then. Shit, I dunno.” He combs a hand through his hair. “I can’t change the past, but I never once said anything negative about you. That’s the truth. I lost my best friend over it, which I’m not complainin’ about since I don’t want those kinds of people in my life.”
“Then why didn’t you ever try to befriend me? Set an example?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugs regretfully. “I should’ve.”
My eyes watch him carefully, taking in the lines around his eyes and on his forehead, the frown marking his lips, and the thick bob of his throat as he swallows.
“So, is this like your way of making it up? Asking me out?”
“What? No. I meant what I said. Maybe we go out to dinner and realize we’re nothing more than friends. Or maybe it’s more, and we realize there’s something here that we could grasp on to.”
His eyes shine with so much sincerity that it scares me. You play your cards and control how much you bet.
My chest constricts. It’s a new sensation that feels awfully familiar to what hope blossoming would feel like. I catch myself nodding and saying, “Okay, dinn
er.”
Miles claps his hands once, loudly, and some people look at us with raised eyebrows. He doesn’t seem to notice.
“Great. Tomorrow?”
“I can’t. I’m seeing a car with my mom once she’s done with work.”
“Okay, Wednesday,” he says happily. “After work. Does seven work?”
“Yeah.” I nod, my heart racing and stomach lurching. It’s no longer complaining about hunger. It’s now too busy fighting the damn butterflies that have been let out in the wild.
“Thanks, June.”
Why is he thanking me? I nod, staring at him in confusion when Diane brings his bagged lunch. Miles hands her a bill and stands.
My breath catches when he bends down and kisses my cheek.
“I’m excited,” he whispers, breath tickling my neck. “See you on Wednesday.” He whistles as he walks out of the diner, and I’m left sitting, staring at my lunch, scrambling my brain to come up with something to wear for my date.
A date I told myself would never happen. Hell must’ve frozen over. Or you might be on the road to releasing resentment and living happily.
Chapter 15
June
For the last two days, I’ve been thinking nonstop about this date. Thankfully, my mom helped me choose an outfit last night after we went to see the car since she’ll still be at work when Miles picks me up.
As for the car, I’m still searching. It was an okay deal, but nothing to write home about. I didn’t expect that the first car I saw in person would be the winner, but I was hopeful. I did learn that my mom is familiar with cars. I had no idea she knew so much about them—like how much horsepower it has, the type of engine, and mileage per gallon of gas, which should’ve been obvious to me. She said that after having to shop for them through the years, she learned a thing or two.
Not So Charming: A Hate to Lovers Romance (Carlisle Cellars Book 1) Page 9
