“I know. An alcoholic running a bar. It’s more of a restaurant with a stage and a liquor license. Small town hangout. It actually keeps me in line. Facing the bottles every day.” He grinned.
She nodded. “Good for you. Glad you’re doing well. No ring.” She pointed to his hand.
“Not married. No kids. I figured Tamara would’ve filled you in.” He led her down to the basement.
“No, I had no idea they were even in touch. Guess they thought it might bug me.” Jenna walked around the basement, which housed some of the skills stuff.
“All the tools were moved out to a barn. Kept the house stuff here. Sewing, canning and first aid.” He couldn’t push if this was all new to her.
She toyed with the ancient sewing machine. “Preppers paradise. I hated this stuff. Never used it, except the first aid.”
“I used a lot of the building stuff. My brothers and I do volunteer work here. Repairs.” He resisted the urge to tell her everything.
“Your brothers got to stay with your mom and you didn’t. The system is crap.” She took a sip of lemonade.
“She couldn’t afford us all. We’re okay now. I had anger issues.” He mimicked air quotes. His dad was a drunk and landed in jail because Sam went to the hospital. Jenna knew the story but that was the system. He landed on their radar.
“Your dad beat the crap out of you. You protected your brothers and fought back. And he passed down his alcoholism. How nice. Your brothers all would’ve been better at Holland House. Best thing that ever happened to me. Even if I had to learn to sew.” She tapped the foot peddle and the machine churned.
“My mom got her life together. My brothers helped me get sober. We keep each other in check. Could be worse. You ever hear from your mom?” he asked.
She frowned and shook her head so hard her ponytail swayed. “I’m happy for you. Surprised no local girl has snapped you up.”
“Jenna, you were right. I’d have ruined the band. You tried. I’m not meant to live on the road. It’s too unpredictable. It turned me into a person I don’t like, which nearly killed me. We have to leave the past where it is. If you can’t, I’ll steer clear.” He took a step back.
“Leave the past where it is? That’s why you asked about my mother?” she shot back.
He’d stepped on a landmine there. “I’m sorry. Things change in five years. A lot can.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. People don’t change... or it’s damn rare. You can’t handle liquor. Never could, never will be able to. You’ve found a way to cope, that’s great. I’m still me.”
“That girl was pretty seriously in love with me.” He grinned.
“I was. We tried tossing you in rehab. Watching you. We couldn’t help you. Kicking you out was the only answer.” She swirled the ice around in her glass.
“I should thank you. It was the only way. I want to apologize. Make it up to you.”
“Some things you can’t make up for. Some trusts can’t be fixed once you cross a line. I didn’t come back for apologies or drama. I just came back to help Mrs. M.” She headed for the stairs.
He blocked her path. “I won’t push. I know I can’t undo what I did. And I know you don’t trust people easily. Have dinner at my place tonight. My restaurant, you and the band. On the house. That’s not too much. Not too crazy, is it?” he asked.
“Fine. Thanks. We should go back up. I want to see the rooms and the barns. Then, we need to check into the motel.” She checked her phone. “It’s noon. Mrs. M will be calling for lunch soon.”
“The routine is kind of nice, isn’t it?” he asked.
“Only place in the world where I could let down my guard and be heard. Be myself.” She went around him and walked up the stairs.
He followed and noticed the frayed hem of her jeans. She was a big name and she still wore out things to the last stitch. Same old Jenna, and she’d checked him for a wedding ring. She didn’t have one either.
The band would’ve warned him if Jenna did get serious with anyone. Whomever she ended up with had to be worthy. Damn it, the old spark was still there. Could she ever believe he’d changed? Dare to trust him again?
Liquor wasn’t to blame. He’d done a lot of stupid things, and it enabled him to dull the fear and the guilt. He wouldn’t get another chance to heal the past.
Chapter Two
“You haven’t changed a bit,” Mrs. M said.
Jenna smiled at the older woman as they walked the fields. “I’ve seen a lot more of the world than here. It proved to me you really are a saint.”
“You’re sweet. I can’t thank you enough. Donations are up just because of the news of the concert.” Mrs. M squeezed Jenna’s hand.
“It’s the least I can do. You saved me and a lot of kids. Is that what you wanted to talk about?” Jenna asked.
“I’m sorry to hold you back. I should’ve let you go on to the motel and grab a nap.”
Jenna waved it off. “Not at all. Tamara will put my stuff in our room. We could always just sleep on the bus, but it’s nice to get a real bed now and then.”
“Your manager made it sound like your band is doing very well. You still live on the bus?” she asked.
“Steve owns a house, and we all use it for a home address. We’re on the road a lot. Money isn’t a problem. We sell songs and albums online. Tour. And Tamara does these great T-shirts. Merchandising, she calls it. We live way below our means because you never know. Better in the bank. We learned that from someone.” Jenna bumped Mrs. M’s shoulder.
“Honey, life is short. Don’t live like a monk. I wanted to give you kids everything, but I had a lot of kids. The bank doesn’t need it. Live. Enjoy your life,” Mrs. M said.
“You think I’m not?” Jenna asked.
“I think you’re living in fear of running out. Common foster kid habit. I don’t blame you. Careers like this don’t last forever. You won’t be singing when you’re seventy. Saving is good, but are you thinking of the next stage in your career?” she asked.
Jenna nodded. “I can write songs until I’m eighty, at least. I make a nice bonus selling some songs to other artists. You don’t need to worry about me, I promise. Nice nest egg waiting when I want to get off the road.”
“If you want to have a family, you might want to not live on a bus.”
“Family? Me?” Jenna laughed. “No. the most normal family I’ve had is a band. Or a group home. I’ll stick to the band and my music.”
“I really thought you and Sam were forever. And I’m not some old romantic nut who thinks that about high school sweethearts.” Mrs. M pinched Jenna’s cheek.
“Really? Sweethearts? You turned the hose on us one time in the barn.” Jenna had plenty of good memories from here.
“Kids in group homes aren’t supposed to get involved. I know Sam was only here for a few years and you knew him from school, but if you two were caught, could’ve gotten the home in trouble.”
“I’m sorry. We were dumb kids. He seems to be helping our around here, too.” Jenna saw the amount of work the barn needed and the roofs were past due for replacement.
“He’s a huge help. I wanted to tell you, he’s making amends for his past. It’s part of his recovery. Don’t panic if Sam is bringing up the past and trying to clear the air. You and he have a lot of history. He screwed up and feels bad. You don’t have to listen to him or forgive, but don’t overreact.” Mrs. M patted Jenna’s shoulder.
“It’s been a long time. I’m over it.” Jenna hated to lie, but it didn’t consume her thoughts like when he’d first left.
Mrs. M stopped in front of Jenna. “You’re a good liar, hon, you always were. But you can’t fool me.”
“I was over it until I saw him again. It’s the past. The memories. He’s buying me and the band dinner at his place tonight. I’m going so that’s a start. Want to join?” Jenna asked.
“No. I’ve got my kids to look after. You have fun. Sam and
his brothers are helping set up the stage for your show. We might need to add another performance. The tickets are sold out for the afternoon. The wait list is long.”
Jenna shrugged. “If they’ll pay, we’ll play. Add an evening show. We’ll rent the lighting.”
“People will be thrilled. The town is already double the normal tourist traffic.”
“Guess that’s good for the town. Just make sure to give us enough time between the afternoon show and the night one to eat, shower and change. Summer concerts are hot.” Jenna wanted to raise as much as she could, but she needed to give the fans a good show, too.
“No problem. I’ll go grab the truck and drive you into town.” Mrs. M turned back to head for the house.
“Wait, you wouldn’t happen to have my old bike still?” Jenna asked.
“It’s been ridden by quite a few girls, but we maintain them. You guys don’t drag a car around with you?” she asked.
“The guys keep a couple mopeds on the storage bus, but I hate driving those.” Jenna followed Mrs. M.
The garage had a bunch of bikes for boys and girls. Jenna spotted her old bike despite the new paint job. It’d been mint green and white, but now, it was lavender and white. The banana seat had been replaced, and there was a new basket on the front.
“Anyone using it?” Jenna asked.
“No, you take it. Most of the girls tall enough to ride it would rather get rides from boys. You were always independent. This thing is probably so old we’d get in trouble for letting kids ride it.” Mrs. M shrugged.
Jenna hopped on her old bike, and it felt solid as ever. “Thanks. Just what I need to zip around town.”
She slid her purse strap across her body so it wouldn’t fall then cycled off. It’d be a good workout and view of the town. It wasn’t a rock star ride, but Jenna wasn’t about a flashy image.
One question kept bugging her as she peddled. Where exactly was Sam’s place? The band would be eating there tonight.
Riding down Main Street, a lot of people waved. Jenna checked out what had changed. Not much for all the time that has passed. Her mind kept drifting back to the chat in the basement.
They had been crazy in love. Partying came with being young and in a band. They didn’t party much anymore. Sam had spooked them. Drinking too much and a DUI was bad enough. Trashing a hotel room and cheating were the last draw.
Jenna pulled off into the grass and stopped. The image of Sam in bed with two hot girls was hard to forget. She rubbed her eyes and got her bearings. Across the street was Sam’s Place. Made sense, he was good with people.
For a split second, she considered going in. Dinner was soon enough, and she’d feel more protected with her friends. The worst was over. The awkward stuff with Sam was done, and they could just be old friends and exes.
They wouldn’t be around each other that much anyway. She could ignore the chemistry and annoying attraction if they weren’t alone.
Why did men look better as they aged? From nineteen to twenty-nine, he’d only gotten hotter.
And he was trying to make amends by volunteering and apologizing. He had his family back, too. Jenna wanted him to be happy but guilt just didn’t go away. She had some that was eating at her.
She rode on a few more blocks and stopped at the Brandson’s Market. Parking the bike, she had some making up to do for her childhood.
* * * *
The restaurant always did decent business, but the place was packed. Sam had saved the back horseshoe booth for the band. It was near the kitchen so they’d get more privacy.
The group had eaten, and he’d given them their space. When they had come in, he’d hugged every member until Jenna. Things were tense, and she’d been eyeing him all night.
A local band performed on stage, but the crowd milled around; they wanted a look at Jenna and her crew. Sam wasn’t sure he could put them on the spot. His sister was waiting on their table.
“Everything okay?” he asked when she headed for the bar.
“Sure. Nice as ever. Jenna is a bit tense, but you’re lucky she didn’t take your head off with a shovel. That’s what I nearly did when my husband cheated. If we didn’t have a kid...” Ella refilled the beers.
“She and I weren’t married,” he said.
“Please, everyone thought you would be. Look, you followed in Dad’s footsteps; I married a guy like him. We both figured it out and stopped. You just need to show her you’ve changed.” Ella nodded.
“She’s happy on the road. She’s not going to hang it all up and settle down here. Then, she’d just resent me.” He didn’t need more guilt.
“You still love her. No other woman comes close. You really think her feelings just disappeared? She’s been hiding out in a bus with friends and fans,” Ella said.
“She loves to sing and perform. That’s her life. Holland House was the only place she was ever safe and secure.” He didn’t talk about Jenna’s past because it was messed up. His baby sister wouldn’t know the details. “Her mom left her alone a lot. Always out with boyfriends. Jenna fended for herself and had to fight off a couple of those boyfriends.”
Ella shuddered. “Tough girl. I heard she went into the grocery store and gave Mrs. Brandson like a grand. Cash. They tried to give it back. I guess she took crackers and peanut butter plus a few necessities every couple of weeks. Old Mrs. Brandson never had her arrested, but someone caught Jenna once.”
“I know. That’s how she got in the system. Probably the best thing that ever happened to her. It’s not like she was stealing jewelry.” He hated the labels Holland kids got.
“No one said she was. Her mom was a mess, not Jenna. The town knows it. She’s made a huge success of her band. You should get up on stage with her.” Ella smiled.
The band on stage was taking a break and the crowd was restless. He knew she was right, but using Jenna wasn’t a good idea.
“Fine, I’ll ask her to sing one during the break. Old times sake.” Ella headed over.
Sam took a step and decided not to add to the scene. If Jenna wanted to, she would. He’d only make it tense.
The band headed on stage, and he locked eyes with Jenna. As she passed, he didn’t move. She turned on her heel. “You coming?”
He smiled and tossed the bar towel aside. “You’re sure?”
“Just like all the high school dances we played.” She shrugged.
He’d been on stage announcing people. He sang in private, but he hadn’t performed publically, despite requests, not since he’d been back.
He covered the mic as he stood next to her. “I’m rusty.”
“Right.” She rolled her eyes. “Something fast, Fred.”
“Please, you two ruled the power ballads,” Tamara said.
As the music started, the old magic hit. He never drank before a show... only after. That’s why the band had put up with him for so long. The performances never suffered.
The music flowed, and she only stepped on his lyrics a few times; she’d had to sing the whole thing solo for so many years—he couldn’t blame her. She worked hard. Her hand brushed his as they sang, and he curled his fingers around hers.
She tensed but didn’t pull away. Stage presence or old flames? He’d seen her sing with a mouse running across her shoe in some crappy dive bars. Nothing flustered her on stage.
After the song, the crowd exploded. Sam grabbed the mic. “Now back to the normal band for a Thursday night.”
She took the mic from him. “Actually, we’ve added an evening show out at Holland House, so get your tickets!”
He grabbed her hand and pulled her back behind the stage and further into his office.
“What the hell?” she snapped.
“You don’t owe anyone anything here,” he said.
“Mrs. M said they had enough interest for another show. It’s not a big deal.” She shrugged.
“I didn’t mean just that. The Brandsons know you didn’t
have a choice. Ella told me.” He’d shoved his foot in his mouth. “And the singing. You don’t need to include me in anything.”
She sighed. “I do what I want to do. No one makes me do anything.”
“I didn’t mean that,” he said.
“Really? I stole from the Brandson place regularly for over a year. My mother taught me how to do it. I stuck to basics, but feminine products are a need and aren’t cheap. I owed them. You’re allowed to make amends, but I can’t? I can afford it.” She stood a little taller.
“I know it’s not about the money, but no one blames you. Someone should’ve gotten you out of that earlier.” He dwelled on the guilt.
“We all had a rotten deal. Mine wasn’t better or worse than Tamara or Toby. Some of us had to go further than others to survive, but we all put that in the past. The money was a little something to say I wasn’t a waste. They didn’t press charges when they could have. Charges would’ve meant juvy not Holland House. I won’t forget that,” she said.
“Don’t let anyone guilt you. That’s all. People still might try to take advantage.” He moved closer.
“If you mean my mother, I know she’s still here. Steve had someone track her down in a doublewide trailer on the bad side of town. I’m not going there. I’m not seeing her. She won’t get a dime. I know you never believed me when I said I could cut off the people who betrayed me. You think I’ll crack.”
“You’re tough but family...” he said.
“Family cares. Mrs. M is my family. The band is my family. Hell, the Brandsons were more of a family. My mom used me as an excuse not to work and have people pity her.”
“She was hooked on something,” he said.
“Addict excuses. Why do they seem to be a theme? I got taken away, she went to jail for the drugs they found in the house and, as far as I know, she’s still using. At least you got sober. You’re not asking for anything. She is a user who’d see me as a meal ticket. I can forgive the past, I think.” She folded her arms.
“I am asking for something. A chance for you to trust me again. Like me. Be your friend,” he said.
Romancing the Sweet Side Page 13
