by Andi Jaxon
The ride is short, ten minutes at most, and I’m into my neighborhood. Since it’s raining, my hood is pulled up, and my backpack is heavy tonight. I have a lot of studying to do this weekend. I don’t have Friday classes this week, so I have three full days to devote to school work. It helps that I don’t have a TV or computer to distract me either.
I get to the gloomy, rundown building I currently live in, with chunks of the concrete steps missing, and carry my bike up three flights of creaky stairs. The entire building is disgusting, probably ready to fall or go up in flames. Honestly, I’m surprised it hasn’t been condemned. Finally getting to my apartment, I unlock the door, bring my bike inside and secure the door behind me. I drop my backpack on the floor and pull my phone out of my pocket to email Mr. Bennet my class schedule when the screen lights up with an incoming call from Kristen.
“Hey, bitch.”
“Hey right back. Are you home? Can you talk?”
“Alister Bennet kissed me.”
The line goes quiet for a second. It’s not very often that I get to surprise her like this, and I am enjoying every second of it.
“What the hell did you just say? Because I know it wasn’t Alister Bennet kissed you.”
Falling back to lay on my bed, I laugh at her response. I love her so much. “That is, in fact, what I said.”
“Bullshit!”
“No bulls were involved.”
“Tell me everything! Where, what, when, why, and how?”
“Today started out shitty, all day I’ve been in a bad mood. He handed back our tests from last week, and I bombed it. I guess it was the final straw. Once everyone left the classroom, I asked him to tutor me. Okay, I basically demanded it.”
“Wait. You demanded he tutor you?”
“Yeah, I really have no idea where that came from. Anyway, I walked up to him and kissed his chest.”
“What the actual fuck? Who are you and what have you done with Ben?”
“Stop interrupting! He kissed me right after, like pushed me against the whiteboard, hand in my hair, wrapped my leg around his hip. I’ve never been so turned on in my life. I really thought I was going to blow a load in my pants. But he pulled back and had to be smart, said anyone could walk in and see us.”
“I am so insanely jealous right now. Your day was way better than mine.”
I laugh again, who needs therapy when you have a best friend who makes you laugh? “Trust me, before that my day was shit.”
“Hang on a damn second. Are you saying I never turned you on? We dated for almost four years.”
“Sorry to break it to you, but vaginas do nothing for me.”
She fakes outrage by sucking in a loud breath. “So, you used me? How could you do such a thing to little innocent me?”
“Ha! Innocent my ass. You corrupted me, slut.”
She starts laughing. “You’re damn right I did. Someone had to.”
“You’ll forever be my one and only straight fuck though.” My voice sounding reminiscent.
“You’ll forever be my gay lover. Which is a good thing cause boy, you don’t know what to do with a vagina. At. All.”
“Are you serious right now? I had zero experience! I bet I could rock that shit now.”
“Yeah? Been playing with a lot of vaginas since I transferred?”
“No, but I know the power of Google. And porn.”
We both crack up laughing before ending our phone call. I lay there smiling like a loon, while I type out my email to Mr. Bennet. Kristen is the only person I’ve ever been able to feel free around, like I don’t have to pretend or hold back. I hope someday I can find a man to be with that I can feel equally as comfortable around.
I send the email and sit up, my stomach growling in hunger, but since I haven’t gotten my financial aid check, I have no food. Great. Another long night of hunger pains.
Chapter Eighteen
ALISTER -
After dinner Thursday night, I’ve thought a lot about what my mother tricked me into figuring out, no job is worth my happiness. Seattle is the land of advanced education, and you can’t go anywhere without seeing a college or university. There has to be a better fit for me, a place that is more accepting.
It’s been a while since I went for a good hike and before the weather turns nasty, I want to go up Mount Si one more time. Grabbing my phone, I flip to Alex and send him a message.
Ali: You off today?
Alex: Yeah, why? Boyfriend leave you hanging?
Ali: Hike Mount Si today?
Alex: Are you trying to kill me?
Ali: Ha! Lazy hike today, no trail running.
Alex: Fine. You talked me into it. Pick you up in 20.
Grabbing my hiking gear, I lay it all out on my bed before grabbing a quick shower. Forcing myself to keep on track, and not get distracted by thoughts of Ben, I’m out and dressed in record time. By the time Alex walks in my front door, I’ve checked the weather forecast, packed my backpack with all necessary items, and have laced up my boots.
“Alright princess, your chariot awaits.” Alex’s tone is deadpan.
Rolling my eyes, I swing my backpack over my shoulder, and we head out the door, locking it behind us.
“What happened to your boyfriend?” His signature smirk is back in place.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I say, again, as we climb into his SUV. Since he has a four-wheel drive, we take his car instead of mine when we go on hikes. My car would get stuck with the least amount of weather.
“How’s it going with the kid from your apartment?”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh, come on. I’ve known you since the moment we developed brains, I know you’ve got something figured out.”
I know when it comes down to it, I can trust him, but at what point will he take it seriously and not crack jokes? I know I’m not doing anything illegal, lusting after a student goes against the code of conduct for the University, but it’s not going to get me arrested.
“Honestly, I don’t really know much.” Turning my head to look out the window as the buildings become a forest. “I can’t quite figure him out. Sometimes he’s shy, withdrawn, and seems terrified of everything. Other times, he’s full of sarcasm and anger, he gets almost an aggressive streak.”
The car quiets as we both think about what I’ve just said. It’s not an uncomfortable silence at all, there is no one I’m more comfortable with than my brother. He truly is so much more than just a brother, he’s my best friend, sounding board, the comedic relief when life gets too serious, and my accomplice when I was young and prone to doing dumb shit.
“Sounds like a defense mechanism, he was probably abused, maybe even still is.” Alex has a lot more experience in this area than I do, being a Seattle police officer. Having a child psychologist as a mother definitely influenced his career path, while I took after Dad with my love of math.
“What’s your train of thought there?”
“Well, he’s typically quiet, doesn’t want to draw attention to himself, probably scared of his own shadow because life has taught him people will hurt him. When he gets into a situation where he feels in danger, he tries to brush the conflict away or downplay it by being sarcastic. Once he’s been pushed too far, things build up, and he gets angry or aggressive.”
We drop into silence again, his explanation swirling through my head. The need to protect Ben flairs in my chest. While I’m tutoring him, I’ll get to know him, build trust, and hopefully, he’ll let me help him.
“Alright, grab your shit and let’s get this thing started. I got a hot date tonight.” Alex wags his eyebrows at me as he climbs out. Sometimes even I’m surprised by how different we are. We look almost identical, but our personalities are very different, he’s always joking around, a man whore, and straight, and I am the complete opposite.
Grabbing my backpack, I pull my beanie on, and we head to the mouth of the trail. This is one of our favorite mountain trails, it’s an intense hike, but the views are
amazing when you get to the top. Most of the trail is covered by a canopy of forty foot trees, so even in the rain it’s not too bad, ferns and moss are everywhere, bringing a lush green to the forest floor.
We’re about a quarter of the way up the three and a half-mile climb when we stop for a water break.
“So, who’s the lucky girl?”
That knowing smirk appears on his face immediately. “This gorgeous little blonde chick I met at the gym, Jill. She’s smoking hot.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
He laughs at my deadpan response. “She’s got a great ass.”
“Okay, now you’ve got me, I do appreciate a nice ass. Though I don’t find most women’s asses to be that great looking.”
“How are we even related?”
“I don’t know, but Mom swears we shared a womb.”
Putting the water bottles back in our bags, we continue the climb. One of the good things about this climb is you have to concentrate, so there’s not a lot of time for chitchat. The mountain is quiet, peaceful. And I don’t have to hear my brother talk about his sexual adventures.
Since we’re taking our time, not battling to beat each other to the top like normal, it takes us three and a half hours to get to the peak. When we break through the tree line, it’s all jagged rock, but the view below is breathtaking. Finding our way to a big flat bolder, we sit down and unpack our lunch, and luckily it’s not wet today. After the climb up, we’re half starved. We don’t take time to talk or even to breathe much as we inhale our food.
“Alright, let's get back down. I need to shower before I meet Jill.” Alex slaps my leg before standing and heading back to the trail. Shaking my head, I follow him. I love this mountain trail, and I hike it more than any other in our area. The climb is difficult, steep, but only takes a few hours. With the difficulty of the hike, there isn’t much chance to talk, since there’s slippery spots to watch out for.
At the trailhead once again, heading toward the SUV, we’re tired and sweaty, but satisfied with the workout we got today. My phone vibrates in my pocket, letting me know I have a notification. I always turn my sound off while hiking, as I don’t want the sounds to disturb the quiet peace of the forest.
Alex unlocks the doors, and we toss our packs inside before sliding into the front seats. Sliding my phone out of my pocket, I check my notifications and see Ben has emailed me his class schedule. It looks like his weekends are clear, maybe he can get together tonight.
I type out a quick reply, asking him if he wants to meet up tonight and where the best place is for him to focus, and rest my head against the back of the seat. Anticipation is making it harder to relax, something I’m sure Alex notices.
“Seems I’m not the only one with a hot date tonight.” He smirks at me.
“It’s a study session. He desperately needs a tutor.”
He starts to chuckle, and I know exactly what’s about to come out of his mouth.
“I knew you were just as dirty as I am. Get that young ass.”
“Seriously? How old are you?”
“Three minutes older than you, my brother.”
Ignoring Alex, I wait for a reply from Ben.
Chapter Nineteen
BEN -
My phone pings to let me know I have a new email. The only time I get emails is if someone wants money or junk, but since I just sent Mr. Bennet an email, I take the risk and look. Holy fuck he wrote me back already. And he wants to meet tonight.
Stunned, I panic and freeze. What do I do? Do I meet up with him tonight? Where would I meet up with him? He can’t come here. Absolutely not. He probably suggested meeting up somewhere to avoid having me in his house…
Flipping to Kristin’s contact information, I call her. She’ll know what to do. With every ring, my anxiety increases. Her voicemail picks up, and I end the call. Fuck.
I need a shower.
What do I wear?
Where do we meet up?
Thinking it over for a second, I send him the address of a pool hall I use to hide out at while I was a teenager. I still stop in and say hi to the owners, Trish and Jason. It’s always been a safe place for me. Hell, I even slept there a few times. I’m comfortable there, he won't stick out too much, and I’ve done homework there countless times.
A few emails back and forth and we nail down a time to meet. Grabbing a quick, freezing shower, I dress in the best clothes I can find, and head down to catch the bus.
Arriving at Ball Scratcher’s Pool Hall, I make my way to the office, sure Trish will be hard at work. Knocking on the door, I wait.
“Come in!” she calls out in her sweet voice. Opening the door, I step inside and wait for her to notice me.
“Ben!” Her face lights up when she sees me, jumping from her chair she wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. “I’m so glad to see you.” I hug her back just as tightly. She really is the nicest person I’ve ever met. She never asked many questions when I would come here, but she could tell I didn’t have a good home life so she would feed me and let me crash on the couch in the breakroom when I needed it. I would help her clean up after closing.
“I’m glad to see you too.” Stepping back, she surveys me. “Do you mind if I take over my normal table? I’m meeting someone to study with.”
“Of course! You’re welcome anytime, you know that.” She smiles at me again and cups my cheek. What I wouldn’t give to have had a mother like her. Closing my eyes for a minute, I soak in the comfort of her touch. “Thank you.”
“No need for thanks. Make sure you stop by the counter and say hi to Jason.”
“I definitely will.” I give her another hug and let her get back to work. At the counter I wait for Jason to be done with a customer, before stepping forward for him to see me.
“Ben! I thought I recognized you. How are you doing?” Jason comes around the end of the counter to give me a hug and a slap on the back.
“I’m doing okay, thanks. I’m in my last term before graduating.” A fact I’m damn proud of.
“That’s great! I always knew you were meant for more than hanging around here.”
I’m about to respond when the bell on the door signals someone entering. Turning toward the sound, I get a few seconds to look at Alister as he takes in his surroundings. The black and white tile on the floor is chipped in spots, it’s seen better days. The walls are a bit dingy with dated pictures of people and dogs playing pool. It reminds me of a bowling alley but with pool tables instead of lanes.
His eyes sweep the area and zero in on me, locking his gaze with mine as he walks over, taking me in, and my blood heats as if I can feel the caress. My face flushes when Jason clears his throat next to me.
“Oh sorry, Jason, this is my teacher, Mr. Bennet. Mr. Bennet this is an old friend, Jason.” I can’t meet either man’s gaze.
“Mr. Bennet, welcome. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to let me know.” They shake hands while I pretend not to exist. Why did I think this place was a good idea? I have too much history here. He must think I’m a loser.
“Call me Alister, please. And thank you Jason, that’s very kind of you.” Turning to me, he says, “Hi Ben, shall we get started?”
I nod and without saying a word, lead us to the table tucked away in a corner in the back of the room. This was where I always sat, there was no way to sneak up on me, and it’s close enough to the kitchen to make a quick getaway if I needed one.
Looking at the table, I realize I never checked to make sure this is okay with him. “Is this okay? It’s where I normally sit,” I mumble, turning toward him.
He steps closer to me and lays his hand on my back, the warmth seeping through my sweater. “Perfect.”
Pulling out chairs next to each other, we both sit, and I pull out my textbook and notes. Looking at Alister, I notice a smirk is on his lips. “What?”
“You’re getting right to work. I like that you’re taking this seriously.”
Embarrassment
heats my cheeks again, and I turn my head to stare at the table. “I know you don’t have to help me. I appreciate it and don’t want to waste your time.”
“I am happy to help you, Ben. I want you to pass.” He dips his head to try to make eye contact with me. He scoots his chair closer, his arm brushing mine on the table as he opens the book. “Okay, let’s get started…”
He flips through my notes and homework, finding where I started to struggle, and starts his lesson there. It’s so hard to concentrate when he’s this close to me, and I find my eyes trained on his lips more often that I would like. Shaking my head, I force myself to look at the paper where he’s writing out equations and explaining the steps, explaining why things have to go in a certain order.
It’s starting to click an hour later, my brain hurts, but I’m starting to get it. Alister writes out an equation for me to solve and hugs me to his side when I do it correctly without his help. Reacting on instinct, I turn into him, my face in the crook of his neck and my hand on his thigh.
Blood rushes to my dick, desire and uncertainty fighting for the next move. “Ben,” his voice is rough as his hand covers mine. “Maybe we should take a break for a bit.”
Rejected, I sit up in my seat. “Do you want to play pool? I’m not very good, but we can play if you want.”
“That sounds like a great idea. Excuse me for a moment, I need to use the restroom.”
I head to the counter for balls as he heads to the bathroom. This time, Trish is working the counter while Jason cooks. “Hey Ben, what can I get for you?”
“Can I get a set ball, please?”
“Of course, honey, here ya go,” she offers, handing me the balls. I thank her and head back to the pool table closest to the table we were working at. I rack the set while trying not to watch Alister walk toward me, but my eyes gravitate toward the confident stride he has. He owns any room he walks into, his presence felt by everyone, and I am damn sure not immune.
