“It was no problem. They’re wonderful. Boisterous and happy just as they should be.” A wistful look passed over her face as she glanced back at the closed bedroom door.
“You really love kids,” Jackson said. He didn’t phrase it as a question. “I noticed it when we first met and even more so today. And the boys adore you.”
“I adore them, too. Children represent the best of us. My mom had to work late a lot of the time, so my sister and I were usually on our own. We used to take turns ‘mothering’ each other. It’s sad, but we were just imitating the bedtime rituals we saw on television. Our own mother wasn’t the most maternal person.”
“Sorry. That’s rough. I know how hard it is to be a single parent, but I’m trying to make sure my kids never feel it.”
“Now that I’m older, I’m trying to understand that it wasn’t personal. She got pregnant accidentally and we never had a lot of money. So, I think under the circumstances she was doing the best she could even if it wasn’t anywhere near good enough.”
Jackson looked over at her. “It still sucks.”
Ridley laughed out loud before covering her mouth with her hand and glancing at the boys’ door. “Oh, Jackson. You have such a way with words.”
Just then the boys’ door opened and Jase came out into the hallway. “RiRi, I want kisses.” He raced over and threw his arms around Ridley’s legs. She scooped him up and kissed him soundly on the cheek before depositing him back on the floor. He then grabbed Jackson around the legs and hugged him, too.
Jase pointed at Jackson. “You put Daddy night-night with kisses, too?”
“I don’t think your daddy needs help going to sleep, baby.”
“You’d be wrong about that,” Jackson muttered.
Their eyes held for a moment before she blushed and looked away. She held out her hand to Jase. “Come on, back to bed.” He grasped her hand and allowed her to lead him back to the room.
A moment later she emerged again, pulling the door shut behind her. “You weren’t kidding about Chris. He’s already snoring!”
“I wish I could say I don’t know where the snoring comes from, but unfortunately he inherited that from me, too.”
He couldn’t help staring at her. After a day in the sun, her light brown skin was tanned a shade darker. She looked golden and glowing with health, especially since she’d loosened her ponytail so her long curls spilled around her shoulders.
“What?” Her hand came up to her face. “You’re staring.”
“I am. You’re beautiful.”
“Jackson? I mean I know we were pretending to be together before but—” She stopped, seemingly at a loss for words.
“It wasn’t much of an act on my part. I like you, Ridley,” he admitted softly. “Way more than I should.”
“I like you, too. More than just about anyone else I’ve met. What’s wrong with two people liking each other?” she asked.
She stepped close enough that her scent enveloped him, a soft fragrance which reminded him of wildflowers. He tried to keep his hands out of the equation, sure that if he touched her again there was nothing in the world that would convince him to let her go. But when she stood on tiptoe and ran her hands over his hair, he gave up.
He grabbed her by the bottom and squeezed. Then she was kissing him and his thoughts scattered. There was just the soft, sweet press of her lips against his and the darkly addictive taste of her in his mouth. She moaned softly and the sound raced through him like a shiver. God, those sounds she made went straight to his dick every time.
Her soft curls brushed against his nose and the effect was like a sucker punch to the gut, lust tightening his muscles in an ironclad grip. It took everything in him not to carry her to his bed. But in that moment, as he held her cuddled against him, he knew he needed to stop things now. Because she liked him. She trusted him.
And he was the last thing she needed.
He let out a breath. “There’s so much you don’t know about me. You deserve someone who’s ready to love you. I can’t be that guy.”
He put her down carefully and stepped back. She licked her lips and he groaned. She wasn’t even trying to make this easy for him.
If she was anyone else, maybe he could say to hell with it and just do what he was dying to do. Kiss her, thread his hands through all that wild hair, and own her mouth. Fantasies of pressing her against the wall and of her wrapping her long legs around his waist raced through his mind. There was no doubt in his mind that they’d burn each other up, no doubt that the embers crackling between them would ignite into a raging inferno if he took her to bed.
But she wasn’t someone else, and he liked her too much to toy with her. So he had to do the only thing he could.
Walk away.
***
“Tell me you and Jackson have never… you know?”
Ridley sat on the edge of the bed in the guest room clutching her cell phone to her ear like a lifeline. All her senses were still reeling from that kiss. If she stood up straight she just might pass out again.
Damn, the man could kiss.
Even though Jackson had walked away, she couldn’t deny the thrill she got from pushing him so close to the edge. Until she remembered that he thought she was her sister. Was he responding to her, or was this just leftover lust for Raina? She had to know.
“Huh? Who is this?”
“Raina, it’s me. Who did you think it was?”
“Oh, hey, sis. Since when do you stay up past ten thirty?”
Ridley lay down and crossed her legs on top of the fluffy comforter. “I’m not as boring as you seem to think. Now answer the question. Have you and Jackson ever dated? Because I’m catching some vibes that he kind of likes you. Which is a little weird, to be honest. Since, you know, I’m not you.”
“Relax. Jackson and I are just friends. We’re probably better described as acquaintances. His boys come over and play in my yard and we talk about the weather. The usual neighborly talk, I guess.”
“Oh. Well, good.”
“Why?” Raina drawled. “Did he do something?”
“No.” Ridley mentally crossed her fingers. “I just wanted to make sure. This whole thing is stressful enough. The last thing I need is to find out that he’s one of your boyfriends.”
“He’s a nice guy and always invites me over when he’s having a party. I’ve never gone, but I have to say that family parties like it’s 1999. They have some kind of shindig for every holiday. Even the ones that no one has ever heard of, like ‘Grandparent’s Day’ and ‘Save a Hedgehog Day’. It’s weird.”
“I think it’s nice. A family that actually enjoys spending time together is kind of refreshing.”
“Well, whatever. That much family time is enough to give me an itch. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, though. Once I’m back, we can figure out what kind of mess you’re in.”
“Hopefully, the police will have more information about what’s going on soon. So far, all I know is that David found out something about our father that got him killed. The FBI saw him talking to a guy who’s a member of a well-known crime family. So, it turns out you were right.”
“I didn’t want to be,” Raina whispered.
“I know. I’m sorry about the way I reacted before. You were just trying to warn me, and I bit your head off. Said terrible things. And the whole time you were right. Some things are better left in the past.”
“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have been so judgmental. Just because I don’t want to meet our father doesn’t mean I should expect you to feel the same way. After all this is over, I’ll have Sam look into it for you. He’s got crazy connections.”
It was a tempting offer, but it felt a little like poking the lid on Pandora’s box. What if Sam found proof Moreno was their father? Did she really want to know? Could she live with that knowledge the rest of her life, or was it better just to wonder?
Or what if what he found was even worse?
“Thanks, Raina. B
ut I think maybe I’m finally ready to let this one go.”
The thought made her inexplicably sad. Raina must have sensed it because she was quiet for a minute, then said brightly, “Anyway, I’ll be back this weekend. If this shoot was anything other than Sports Illustrated , you know I’d come home immediately, right?”
“I know. I don’t want you to miss this, either. I’ve been here this long, so I can hang out for a few more days. I don’t suppose it’ll make much difference at this point.”
But as she hung up with her sister she wondered if the next few days wouldn’t be the hardest she’d ever been through.
Ridley got up from the bed and wandered over to the window. She pushed it up and stuck her head out into the warm, humid night air. Her room faced the back of the house so all she could see were trees and the backs of other houses. Raina’s house should be a few houses down on the right. There was a light shining through the trees right where her sister’s house should be.
Was that a light on?
Ridley leaned farther, stretching as far as she could over the windowsill. Just then the light went off. She shook her head. That must be one of Raina’s neighbors. She’d probably misjudged the distance. Then she remembered the phone call from Mrs. Ashton. If someone was willing to burn down her apartment, what would stop them from trying to do the same to her sister’s house?
Nothing, she thought with a shiver. She backed up and closed the window, making sure the locks were in place.
Absolutely nothing.
Chapter Ten
“No! No, Please! Leave me alone!”
Jackson bolted straight up in bed, his heart racing. The clock on his bedside table blinked 2:02 a.m. He was surprised he’d fallen asleep at all. After leaving Ridley standing alone in the hallway, he’d been too riled up, okay, too damn aroused, to relax.
He’d paced the floor for a while. He’d taken a cold shower. He’d done push-ups until he was too exhausted to continue. None of it had made a damn bit of difference.
Normally he’d go downstairs and watch a movie or something but he didn’t want to take the chance of running into Ridley. He wasn’t a saint, and if confronted with her sweet little body again while his blood was still high, he couldn’t guarantee he’d be honorable enough to walk away this time. She’d end up bent over the couch with her little shorts around her ankles as he took her from behind.
And damn if that wasn’t a mental image. He swore as he hardened again beneath the sheets.
Then he heard a soft moan.
“I don’t know anything! Just leave me alone.” There was silence, then the soft sound of crying.
“What the hell? Ridley?” He threw off his covers and sprinted through his open door and down the hall. He’d deliberately given her a room that was as far away from his as possible so she could have her privacy. Now he was cursing the decision as a million scenarios raced through his mind. What if the people she was running from had followed her here? Broken into the house?
He crashed through the door and then blinked in the bright light. Ridley lay on the top of the bed, thrashing back and forth. Every light in the room was blazing, including the lights in the adjoining bathroom. He approached the bed carefully. He’d always heard you shouldn’t wake people in the midst of a nightmare, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember what you should do. Surely he wasn’t supposed to just leave her in terror?
“Just let me go,” she sobbed.
“Forget this.” Jackson climbed on the bed next to her and pulled her into his arms. She immediately clung to his bare chest and pressed her wet cheeks against his skin.
“Shhh, it’s okay. Ridley, you’re safe,” he whispered to her and stroked a hand up and down her back. After a few minutes, she calmed. When he looked down, her eyes were open but wild and though she was looking directly at him, he couldn’t tell if she really knew he was there.
Finally her eyes focused and she whispered, “Jackson?”
“I’m here. Ridley, I’m right here.”
She squeezed her eyes shut again and tears slid down her cheeks. “I woke you. I’m so sorry. It was just a dream. A stupid dream.”
He held her tighter. It seemed completely inadequate, but in that moment it was all he had. He couldn’t fight the demons for her, but he could hold her and let her know she wasn’t alone, at least. He knew what it was like to feel utterly isolated.
As if you were standing in the midst of a storm with nothing to anchor you.
“You want to tell me what it was about?”
Ridley was quiet for a moment, then a shiver wracked her slender frame. “They tried to burn down my apartment.”
“What?” Jackson pulled back slightly so he could see her face.
“I keep a small apartment in Florida. My landlady called yesterday. There was a fire the day after I left. Then before bed, I thought I saw something outside the window. I’m scared, Jackson. What if the people who killed David are looking for me? What if they’re trying to kill me, too?” Her eyes welled with tears again.
“Shhh, now. You don’t know that for sure. Either way, they don’t know where you are, and they’re not going to find out if I have anything to do about it. It’s okay, Ridley. You’re safe here.” He made soft noises as he rubbed her back.
She took several shaky breaths, then finally exhaled the long, rattling sigh of the truly exhausted. After a few minutes, her breathing finally slowed to a normal rate. He looked down at the top of her head, a profound sense of peace washing over him.
“You don’t have to stay. I’m okay now. I know you don’t want to be here.”
“That’s not true. I wasn’t asleep, anyway. I was trying to decide whether I should take another cold shower or not.”
She blushed and lowered her eyes. “Well, that’s your own fault.”
“I know, baby girl.” He kissed the top of her head.
Her fingers danced gently over the tattoo on his chest. “I’ve never been into tattoos, but this fits you.”
He looked down at the design he’d gotten in his first year of college. “I was called ‘Treble’ because I was a music major. I was always humming bars and scribbling pieces of songs on napkins. Eventually it became less like ‘treble’ and more like ‘trouble.’ I have no idea why, of course.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
Relief swept through him when she smiled in response, looking more like herself.
“What about you?” He tilted his head in her direction. “Tell me something about you. Something no one knows.”
She sighed and laid her head on his chest. “I love to garden.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. What? You can’t imagine me gardening? I don’t mind getting a little dirty.”
“I just bet you don’t.”
She smacked his chest playfully. “I guess I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”
He squeezed her. “I’m just teasing you.”
“I’ve been saving to start my own landscape-design business. I had the perfect location picked out and everything. Who knows how long before I can go back, though? I feel like my whole life is on hold.”
He stopped rubbing her back and turned them so they were laying side by side, facing each other.
“If you’re passionate about this, then don’t let anything hold you back. You can start a business here. I’ll be your first client. You’ve seen what my yard looks like. I need all the help I can get.”
“You know I’d love to help you but this is exactly why I wanted to open a business in Florida. My sister has offered to help me so many times, but I want to do it on my own. To the people there, I’m just Ridley. No one could say I was successful due to who I know.”
“When I was first starting out and needed the money to buy professional equipment, Nick was the first in line to help me out. If he hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Everyone needs help in the beginning. There’s no shame in that. That’s what people who care about you do. They help you.
”
“And you want to help me? Because you care about me?”
“Yeah, I do. You deserve to get everything you want.”
“But I can’t have what I want,” she whispered.
“What do you—” Jackson broke off with a strangled sound when the soft hand that had been resting against his chest reached down and gripped him through the soft cotton of his sweatpants. “Whoa .” He gulped when she turned her face and kissed his chest. “What are you doing?”
She tugged on the waistband of his sweatpants gently.
“Getting what I want.”
***
To think that she’d gone so long without knowing how crazy passion could make you and how hot and hungry you could feel when that passion was denied.
Even at their best, none of her previous boyfriends had come anywhere near the way Jackson made her feel with just two stolen kisses.
And they didn’t have abs like these.
She traced each one and then followed the same path with her tongue.
He reared up off the bed. “I thought we agreed that this was a bad idea.”
She looked up at him innocently. “You agreed. I didn’t.”
“Ridley,” he warned.
“I have a proposition for you,” she whispered against his beautifully taut lower abdomen.
“Christ.” He shuddered as she bit him gently. “Yes. Whatever you want, I say yes.”
“One night. You said you aren’t ready to love and that’s okay. Let’s just get it out of our systems, and tomorrow it’ll be like it never happened. Like a dream.”
What if she walked away from Jackson without indulging and then never met anyone else she had this connection with? What if she never understood what her girlfriends in college had whispered about, the kind of lust that made you forget your own name and do things that embarrassed you the next morning?
For once she would take her sister’s advice and worry about the consequences later.
“If you don’t agree, just tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop.”
“That would be impossible,” he mumbled.
eyond Desire Collection Page 38
