“What? Your gender has nothing to do with this.”
“So it’s not about some dumb male pride thing?”
He rolled his shoulders. “Pride isn’t dumb, Bee. Honor. Loyalty. Pride. They’ll take a man far in this world.”
“No, they’re going to take you to an early grave. I’ve already lost Jeb. I’m not going to lose you too!”
He reached across the center console and took my hand. He gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere, Bee.”
Staring at our entwined hands, I expected him to let go, but he held tight as he deftly navigated the dark streets. I wasn’t brave enough to believe we were charting a new course in our friendship, but I couldn’t stop the glimmer of hope burning within me.
We were on the cusp of something exciting and real—and I’d be damned if a loan shark mobster was going to threaten that. I’d move heaven and earth before I let Kelly step into that cage.
I just prayed he would forgive me.
***
It was after four in the morning when Kelly made his way downstairs to the kitchen. Bee had been safely tucked away in his bed and was already passed out from exhaustion. Before she’d put her head on the pillow, she had switched on the bedside lamp. He refused to let her feel embarrassed for needing a night light. Discovering someone had broken into her home had shattered her sense of personal safety. If she needed the lamp, that was perfectly fine.
Remembering the way she looked as she climbed into bed, Kelly experienced a wave of need. The door to his room had been ajar just enough to let him catch a glimpse of her in only her T-shirt and panties. He didn’t know that any woman had ever made such a simple getup look so damn sexy.
He’d be a bald-faced liar if he said that he didn’t like the way she looked in his bed. The urge to slide in with her and spoon up against the curve of her bottom had nearly overwhelmed him.
Fighting the lust she inspired in him, Kelly rubbed the back of his neck and stretched his aching shoulders. Though he’d grown accustomed to his insomnia, he still had nights where it grated on his nerves. Like tonight.
Still feeling guilty over his awful outburst in the truck, Kelly hoped he could keep his temper under control while his father laid out the ugly facts of his gambling debts. He refused to let any more of the traits he’d inherited from his old man show tonight. He didn’t know if he would ever forgive himself for allowing Bee to glimpse the darkness that came from his father’s blood.
In the kitchen, he found Finn and Jack seated on either side of their father. The old man was sucking down coffee and sobering up some. Kelly doubted they were going to like anything he had to say, but they needed everything laid out on the table to avoid making a rash decision.
“What’s the story with Bee?” Jack leveled a knowing stare his way. “I thought you said you were giving her some space after New Year’s?”
Kelly wished he’d never confided in his brothers about that kiss. After the initial taunting had passed, they had both tried to convince him to give it a go with her. Neither of them seemed to understand the various angles of his predicament.
Grabbing the carafe, Kelly poured a cup of coffee and moved to the table. He reached for the sugar. “Some shithead is stalking her.”
Jack’s gaze flicked to the ceiling and concern etched hard lines into his face. “Stalking her how?”
“Until earlier tonight, it was just texts, emails, and disgusting photos. When she came home, someone had broken into her apartment and left her a box.”
“A box?” Finn sat forward. “What was in it?”
Kelly sipped the hot coffee and enjoyed the soothing burn. “She didn’t stick around to find out. I’m having Dimitri and Lev meet us at her place in a few hours.”
“Ordinarily, I’d recommend going to the cops in a situation like this,” Jack said, “but with Bee’s profile?” He shook his head. “I’ve had clients come into the gym to learn self-defense because the restraining orders aren’t working. She needs dedicated security and private investigators who cater only to her needs.”
“Agreed.” Kelly dumped more sugar in his coffee. When he reached for a fourth scoop, Jack frowned at him and moved the bowl out of the way.
“You’re going to give yourself diabetes if you keep eating like this.”
Kelly rolled his eyes but didn’t try to jerk the bowl back. Instead, he leaned back in his chair and eyed their father. “Well, Pop, what’s the real story here?”
Their old man wiped both hands down his face and cleared his throat. “Afrim always kept me on a tight leash when it came to my credit. After that Russian loon stuffed Afrim in a trunk last Christmas, Besian took over his action. He extended my line.” His shoulders rounded with defeat. “I couldn’t say no. Before I knew it, I was in deep.”
Kelly wanted to lash out in anger but the pathetic old man sitting across from him only inspired sympathy. He couldn’t imagine being so lost to his demons that he’d risk the lives of everyone he loved. “So what are we going to do?”
The harsh expression on Jack’s face warned that he was about five seconds away from losing it. “What we always fucking do! We’ll have to clean up his mess yet again.”
Finn drummed his fingers on the tabletop. “I have some cash stowed away. It’s not hardly enough, but it will make a dent.”
“I should be receiving my payout for that sheikh’s contract before the end of next week.” Kelly ran his finger around the rim of his cup. “Even after taxes, it’s a good sized chunk.”
Jack sighed loudly. “Most of my cash is tied up in the gym. I’ve sunk everything into it. I might be able to get a loan against the building but with Pop’s credit…”
Kelly didn’t hear whatever Jack said next. Their father furiously rubbed that spot on his wrist where his watch normally sat. No doubt he’d hocked the damn thing again to buy booze or lottery tickets. It was his father’s tell—that rubbing motion—that made Kelly perk right up. “What haven’t you told us, Pop?”
Finn and Jack snapped their attention to the old man. Tension soared around the table as they waited for their father to finally work up the damned courage to come clean. He sucked down the rest of his coffee before admitting in a rush, “The building is already mortgaged.”
“What?” Jack hissed the word. “We’re on the note together after the refinance. There’s no way you could have—”
“I used the building as collateral for a loan from Hagen.”
Kelly damn near fell out of his chair at the revelation that their father owed money to Houston’s most notorious loan shark. The Albanian crew was bad enough, but Hagen had a certain reputation around town.
Jack jumped out of his chair, knocking it over in the process, and stormed out of the kitchen. Kelly heard the back door open and close as Jack sought silence and privacy on the patio. He figured that was better than the alternative of Jack wringing their father’s neck.
Finn flopped back in his seat and shoved his empty coffee cup across the table. “How much do you owe Hagen?”
“The full value of the building plus interest and late fees,” their dad reluctantly said. “I took out the loan to clear the Albanian debt but—”
“But you hit a hot streak, right?” Kelly asked acidly. “Except it wasn’t so hot, was it? Now you owe two loan sharks, and we’re fucked.”
He stood up, fixed the chair Jack had knocked over and crossed the kitchen to stare out the window into the backyard. Jack paced angrily back and forth across the flagstone pavers. Kelly couldn’t even imagine what his oldest brother was feeling. Jack had sacrificed so much to scrape together the money to renovate the family gym. He’d been busting his ass to build up a thriving clientele and working his contacts for training contracts like the one with Dimitri. Every employee of LSG trained and conditioned at Connolly Fitness and Fighting.
What would happen if they lost the gym to Hagen? Jack would lose everything. Finn would be out of a job. Their father would be on the streets.
Not that he would survive very long if the Albanian debt went unpaid. There were plenty of men in Besian’s crew who would be only too willing to snuff out that problem.
For the briefest moment, Kelly considered accepting Bee’s offer. She would happily give him the money to settle the family debts. It was the easiest, cleanest way to do it.
But he would never be able to look her in the eye again if there was money between them like that. She would never throw the debt in his face, but he would remember what it felt like to accept her charity.
And he couldn’t do it. Maybe she was right. His damnable pride might put him in an early grave after all.
“I’ll fight.” He pivoted slowly to face the kitchen and discovered Jack hovering in the doorway there. “We’ll pool our money and bet on me to clear the debt with Hagen.”
“I don’t like it.” Finn tapped his hand against the table. “It’s too dangerous. The Albanian’s guy—Paulie—was a good fighter, but he’s nowhere near as good as the men the Russians have fighting for them.”
“Sergei will kill you.” Jack didn’t even mince words. “The bastard is nearly seven feet tall and outweighs you by fifty pounds. We’ve all watched him fight before, and we all know that he’s a fucking beast. I’m a good trainer, but I’m not Ivan Markovic. Ivan survived years in that cage, and he has skills to offer his fighters that I don’t.”
Kelly didn’t disagree with that assessment. “Pop used to fight underground. He trained me when I fought there a few years ago. He can train me again.”
Their father lifted his shamed head. “Kelly, son…”
Jack scoffed. “You want to put your life in the hands of an old drunk?”
“Why aren’t we discussing the obvious option?” Finn interjected carefully. “What about Bee’s offer?”
“No.” Jack and Kelly spoke in unison.
“No,” Jack growled again. “We aren’t dragging Bee into this nightmare. She’s got too much going for her to have the taint of mobs and loan sharks following her for the rest of her life.”
“She worked hard for that money,” Kelly added. “I won’t have her throw it away like this.” He thought of the deal on the table. “She’s entertaining an offer on her business. One whiff of the Albanian mob could tank it.”
Finn twirled a sugar spoon between his fingers. “You’ll need more than Pop, Kelly. If you’re going to win, I mean. You’ll have to find a coach who’s been in the ring sometime this century.”
Kelly rubbed his face between his hands. “We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Right now, I need a shower and a nap.”
Jack sighed heavily. “Yeah. Okay.” His vicious gaze turned toward their father. “You can stay until you’re sobered up, but then I want you out of here. Don’t show your face around the gym either. Understand?”
The old man nodded stiffly. “Yes.”
Finn, always the most sympathetic and gentle of them, helped their father out of his chair. “Come on, Pop. You can stay in my room. I’ve got some clothes you can borrow.”
Feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders, Kelly headed back upstairs. He slipped into his room to grab a clean pair of shorts before ducking into the bathroom he shared with Finn. After showering, he returned to his bedroom and slowly sank down into the low, wide chair in the corner. The comfortable plushness of his favorite chair cradled his tired, aching body.
He propped his feet on the edge of his bed and watched Bee sleep. The sheet had slipped down a little and revealed a tantalizing glimpse of skin between the top of her pink and white striped undies and the bottom of her shirt. He tried to ignore the throbbing ache in his cock as his body reacted naturally to the sight of her sexy curves.
But it wasn’t simply the natural reaction to a beautiful woman that left him feeling so unsettled. Ever since Bee had blindsided him with that New Year’s Eve kiss, he’d been fighting a losing battle. Until the moment their lips first touched, he had been able to pretend that the flutter in his stomach every time she was near wasn’t real. Her kiss had demolished the wall he’d erected between them.
Even now, simply watching her sleep, he felt his resolve slipping. Twice tonight, he’d flirted with danger. While interrogating her at the club, he’d indulged his desire to touch her soft skin. Later, in the truck, when he’d been overcome with guilt for snapping at her, he’d opened himself up to sharing some intimacy with her.
Now that he knew what it felt like to touch her so tenderly, Kelly accepted there was no going back. It was time to face the facts. When guarding clients, he always insisted in total honesty from the protectee. He would expect the same from Bee—but she should expect the same from him. Guarding her wouldn’t be just another job to him and his emotions would be tangled up in it.
Because he would be protecting the woman he had loved since he was twenty-four years old.
Kelly still remembered the first moment he had recognized Bee not as the slightly strange and always silly little sister of his best friend, but as a woman. Every summer Jolene Langston hosted a huge Fourth of July bash at their house on Lake Conroe. It was the first time in a couple of years that both Kelly and Jeb hadn’t been deployed or on duty. It was also the summer Bee’s mother learned she had Stage IV ovarian cancer, but that day everyone had been blissfully ignorant of the fate that awaited Jolene.
Stuck in Afghanistan while his mother fought the cancer ravaging her body and Bee tried to hold it all together, Jeb had slipped into a shell that Kelly simply hadn’t been able to penetrate. Those final months of Jeb’s life, before he’d been killed in action, had been strained and tense. For the first time since meeting as four-year-olds, Kelly and Jeb hadn’t been able to connect. Something had gotten between them, and Kelly still didn’t know what it was.
“Kelly?”
Lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t noticed her waking. Dropping his feet to the floor, he sat forward in his chair. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
A bemused smile curved her mouth. “Yes. Are you?”
“Sure.”
“It’s late. Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I was thinking.”
“About?”
“You.” He didn’t even try to deny it.
Her tired eyes widened. “Me?”
“You,” he said with a sigh and pushed out of his chair. Standing next to his bed, he gestured toward the wall. “Scoot over, Bee.”
She didn’t hesitate to follow his order. He eyed the space she’d created for him and wondered if he was really about to cross this line. The mischievous smile that brightened her sleepy face convinced him it was time to throw caution to the wind. When he slid in beside her, she moved even farther away and hugged the very edge of the mattress.
Chuckling, he clamped his arm around her waist and dragged her against him. “Come here.”
“Kelly.” She spoke breathlessly but didn’t fight him. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, “but it sure as hell feels right.”
Brushing black strands of hair from her face, he shifted Bee in his arms until her cheek rested against his chest. She tentatively hooked her leg across his. Running his hand up and down her back, he said, “I was thinking about the last Fourth of July barbecue your mom hosted.”
“Oh.” Sadness colored her voice. “That was one of the last times our family was together.”
“I know,” he said softly, thinking of the torment Jeb had suffered while deployed in Afghanistan during his mother’s valiant fight for her life. Wanting to remind Bee of happier times, he asked, “Do you remember that box of sparklers we burned through?”
“Of course,” she replied with a little laugh. “Why?”
“No reason.” He wasn’t brave enough to tell her that playing tic-tac-toe in the twilight had been the moment when he’d first started to fall for her. It had been a blessed relief to do something so incredibly innocent after months of enduring the hard slog of war.
Soon, he promised himself, but
not tonight. For now, he was content to hold her. Giving her arm a squeeze, he murmured, “Go to sleep, Bee. We have to be up in a few hours.”
Knowing Bee, she probably had a thousand questions racing through her brilliant mind but she didn’t ask them. Maybe she understood that this was one of those moments where talking wasn’t necessary.
When her hand hesitantly lifted to his chest, he caught it before she could draw it back to her side. Lifting her fingertips, he kissed each one and then settled her smaller hand against his shoulder. The sensation of her warm, lush body curled up against his affected him in ways he couldn’t quite articulate.
For the first time in years, sleep came easily and swiftly. There were no nightmares of bullets whizzing by his head or explosions rocking convoys. No, tonight, he dreamed only of the incandescent bursts of white phosphorous lighting up Bee’s sweet face—and it was good.
Chapter Four
I nervously tugged at the bottom of the borrowed Connolly Fitness tee Kelly had left on the bed for me and descended the stairs. The sounds of male voices drew me toward the kitchen where I discovered Finn and Kelly making breakfast. I assumed Jack had already gone to the gym but didn’t dare ask about their father.
Finn spotted me first. “Morning, Bee.”
“Good morning, Finn.” I noticed the way Kelly kept his back to me as he fiddled with something on the counter. Toast, I thought, by the smell.
“Sorry you only got a few hours of sleep,” Kelly said over his shoulder. “Once we get everything squared away with LSG, we’ll get you stowed somewhere safe, and you can nap.”
I shrugged and reached for the carton of orange juice on the table. A glass had been set out for me, so I filled it halfway. “I’m used to running on no sleep. My schedule has been hectic these last few years.”
“You still juggling college and the business?” Finn asked as he slid into a seat and motioned toward another one for me.
“Sort of,” I said before taking a sip of the cold juice. “I part-timed the last two semesters, and I’m thinking of leaving altogether.”
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