“Okay.” Billy nodded his head.
Dena straightened and stepped away from Susie’s bed. “Grandma?”
“Yes, Susie.”
“Would we call him Grandpa if you got married?”
Good grief. How do little ones come up with these things? “Honey, it’s too soon to talk about such things. I like Mr. Wayne and—” Goodness, how do you explain this to a five-year-old? “We’ll just have to see.” She rubbed Susie’s headful of blond curls.
“Okay.”
That was easy, Dena mused.
She exited her bedroom, which the kids insisted on sleeping in because of there being no wall. She walked out to the deck and sat down, watching the starlight shimmer over the dark ocean.
Was it wrong to pursue a relationship in which you didn’t know the outcome before you entered into it? Of course, who knows when they are going to fall in love with someone? Was she in love with Wayne? Was it worth possibly confusing the children, if she and Wayne couldn’t work out their problems with career and locations? Perhaps it was best to end things with him now before she loved him too much.
Too much… That means I already love him. Dena groaned.
❧
Wayne delayed his arrival at Dena’s, doing odd jobs that could have waited. He needed more time. He hadn’t slept a wink last night. Instead, all he could think about was the impossibility of their relationship. He wanted to do more than kiss her. He wanted to make her his wife. He knew it was foolish to desire something so much, so quickly, while getting to know one another. After all, love at first sight was for teens, not two grown adults with mileage. But he had found love, and he’d fallen hard. He knew he loved her, but he also knew his family and life were in this community. He’d never survive in a city. Being on the ocean every morning brought life to his veins. Oh, he knew how silly and trite that sounded, but it was a part of who he was, of that he was certain.
He’d seen her on the beach with her grandchildren while he pulled his pots. Empty pots, he amended. She waved. He waved back, but instead of feeling the joy that had been there a month before, his mind swam with confusion.
“Hi,” she offered when he arrived at her back door.
“You’re making this difficult.” He placed his hands in his pockets.
She handed him a mug of hot coffee. “You didn’t sleep either, huh?”
“Nope. It isn’t working, is it?”
“Not really. There’s attraction, and I like you, but you’re right. There are more difficulties to our relationship than either one of us is ready to deal with at the moment. I can’t give up my career, and you can’t give up yours.”
“Exactly. So, why does it feel like I’ve been hit in the gut with a four-by-four?”
“Because we do care about each other.”
“Dena, I wish I could just close up shop and be with you, but that’s not who I am. I live off the sea. I’m a part of a community. There are people who depend on me. I know that others can fill that void but—”
“But, you’re not ready to give that up, and that’s what it would take if you were to be a part of my world. I know, I know. I played the scenario over and over in my mind tons of times last night, too.”
“This stinks.”
“Yeah,” she agreed.
“So, where does that leave us?” Wayne asked. He watched her move silently to the coffeepot and refill her mug.
“As friends?”
“Okay.” Wayne extended his hand to shake on the matter.
She turned away. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Wayne placed the mug on her table. With every ounce of willpower, he opened the back door. “I understand.”
❧
As he worked through the day, he watched her pack her car. He didn’t blame her. He’d probably do the same in her shoes. Besides, she had to get ready for her next trip.
“Wayne, e-mail me any questions you have about the addition. I’ll be out of contact for a couple of days, but I should be able to connect every now and again. The first week out on the river, I’ll be out of contact completely. The Rockies greatly interfere with cell phone service.”
“No problem. I think I have everything under control.”
“I’m sure you do. I’m sorry, Wayne. I would have liked to work this out.”
“Me, too. But I think it’s better now before we’re in too deep.”
“Agreed. Good-bye, and thanks for all the work you’re doing on the place.”
Wayne waved her off and attempted to swallow the huge lump in his throat.
❧
The next month Wayne found himself miserable. The night before she left, they had been ready to trust the Lord; the next morning, they broke it off because they couldn’t see it working. Quite a man of faith, he chastised himself.
He even stopped going to church for the month. He couldn’t face Dena’s son. And seeing him pull into his driveway right now made him want to pretend not to be home. “May I come in?” Pastor Russell asked.
“Sure, come on in.”
“Wayne, Mom told me what the two of you decided. Personally, I can’t argue with the logic but—”
Wayne gave him a halfhearted grin. “But I should still be in church, I know.”
Pastor Russell sat down on the stool by the breakfast nook. “Actually, that isn’t what I was going to say, but you’re right, you should be in church. I understand your hesitation in light of my connection with my mother, but your spiritual home is in that church.”
“What did you want to say, then?”
Eleven
Dena stubbed her toe on the corner of a suitcase as she lugged them from the train station. The past two shoots had been the worst of her entire life. And the last thing she wanted to do was face Wayne’s daughter in her apartment. She hoped Jess was out on a date with Trevor, a movie—anywhere but in her apartment.
She knew she’d been trying to live her own life and not listen to the many urges from the Lord to call Wayne and just talk with him. But if they were to only be friends, she didn’t need to call him. After all, she barely called her other friends when she was on a shoot, she reasoned for the millionth time since leaving Maine. So, why did she ache to see him? To be held in his arms? Why hadn’t those feelings disappeared by now? It had been a month. No one pines that long for a man they haven’t even kissed.
Dena pushed the elevator button for her floor. When the doors opened, she paused for a moment to hear if music was again blaring from her apartment. A slight smile rose on her cheeks when she heard nothing, absolutely nothing. Just the way she liked it. Maybe she just needed to stay home for a few more days and unwind. Maybe rafting down the Colorado wasn’t the ideal place to relax. Right—and elephants are purple with pink polka dots. Face it, Dena, you love him, you miss him, and life is miserable without him.
She unlocked the door to her apartment. The air smelled stale.
She dumped her luggage on the living room floor and found a note from Jess with her keys.
Dear Dena,
Thanks for the use of the place. I didn’t get the job I wanted in Boston, so I moved back home. Dad says to call him when you return. Something about the addition. Thanks again for everything, especially our talks. They really helped.
Love,
Jessica
Dena picked up the phone and punched in the speed dial code for Wayne. She hadn’t bothered to undo that feature. His answering machine picked up.
“Hi, Wayne. I got Jess’s note. I’m home. Give me a call when you can. Bye.”
She hung up the phone, and within seconds it rang. “Hello.”
“Hey, Mom, just get in?”
Dena never thought she’d be so disappointed to hear Chad’s voice. “Hey back. Yes, I literally just got in. Where are you?”
“Hawaii.”
“Rough life.” Dena leaned against the counter.
“Yeah. But I can’t complain. Weren’t you on the Colorado River yesterday?”
&nbs
p; “Touché. What’s up?”
“Brianne’s pregnant and not doing so well. I was wondering if you could take her over some chicken soup.”
“Hold it. Brianne’s pregnant?”
“Yeah, we would have told you sooner, but you’ve been hard to get ahold of the past couple weeks.”
“True. So when’s the baby due?”
“Mid-March.”
“Congratulations, son.” Dena toed off her shoes.
“Thanks. Seriously, Mom, she’s really sick. I’m concerned.”
“I’ll run over after I take a shower. I’ll pick up some of Mr. Wong’s chicken soup. I don’t have time to make my own. But I doubt she’ll want to eat it, if she’s as sick as you say.”
“I know it’s normal to be sick but—”
“It’s your first; you’ll get used to it.” Dena paused. “Kinda.”
“Thanks, Mom. I really appreciate it. I’m glad you’re home.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Well, I’ve got to go. I need to prepare my flight for departure to Japan.”
“Bye; thanks for calling.” Dena hung up the phone and stripped on her way to the shower. Another grandchild. She grinned. Her quiver was getting fuller.
The phone rang again as she stepped out of the shower. Wrapping herself in a towel, she answered.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Amber, what’s up?”
“Did you hear Chad’s news?”
“Yes, and you’re horrible to even mention it, if I hadn’t. I’m going to Brianne’s now and bring her some chicken soup.” Dena fished out some clean clothes from her dresser drawers.
“I doubt she’ll get it down. She’s really sick, Mom.” This was a strong statement, coming from Amber, a doctor’s assistant.
“Hmm, coming from you, I’d say it’s more than the norm.”
“Definitely. The poor girl can barely get up without getting nauseous.”
“Eww. Did her doctor prescribe anything?”
“Not yet, but she called him this morning.”
“Good. How are the kids?”
“Fine, anxious to see Grandma. Will you be able to come up?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart. I’ll try. I’m off again in three days.”
“Mommm.” Amber dragged out her name. “You can’t keep working like this. It’s crazy.”
“I know. I’m cutting back, honest.”
“Yeah, right.”
She couldn’t blame Amber for not believing her. For years the kids had been trying to get her to slow down, yet it seemed she was busier than ever. More assignments were coming in. She was regularly booked months in advance. Thankfully, she still had one month blocked out. “I have September off.”
“Really? Can we come to your house in Maine for a visit? I’m assuming you’ll be up there.”
“Some of the time. The rest of the time I’ll be in Boston.”
“Great, well I won’t keep you on the phone. I know you’ve got a ton to do. Not to mention that Brianne needs some TLC.”
“Okay, I’ll call you sometime tomorrow and touch base with you.”
“Looking forward to it. Bye, Mom.”
Dena hung up the phone. “They must smell that I’m home.” She glanced over to her answering machine and saw there were fifteen messages. They could wait until she returned from Brianne’s. Amber had been really sick during her pregnancies, and for her to say Brianne was really sick meant the poor girl was suffering.
Dena was dressed and in her car within twenty minutes. She placed an order for a quart of Mr. Wong’s chicken noodle soup and picked it up on her way over to Brianne and Chad’s apartment. Finding Brianne pale and weak, lying in her bed, tugged at her heartstrings. Have I made myself too inaccessible?
She spent the night at Brianne’s and took her to the doctor the next morning. It was the least she could do.
Driving home after settling Brianne back into her own place, she again prayed for guidance. Her cell phone rang just as she entered the car garage at home. “Hello.”
“Hi, Dena, it’s Wayne. I tried to get you last evening at your home and finally decided to try your cell phone today.”
“I’m sorry, Wayne. Brianne’s pregnant and very ill. I was playing nursemaid for the evening. I got your message to call. What’s up?”
“Zoning.”
“Zoning?” Dena closed the car door with her hip.
“Yeah, they’re afraid you’ll be dumping dangerous chemicals too close to the ocean, so they’ve halted the addition until you can prove the chemicals you use in film developing aren’t a hazard to the community—most importantly, to the lobster industry.”
“Ah, well, I don’t have that information handy. Let me talk with a few friends and get back to you on it.”
“No problem. Sorry for the delay.”
There was a pregnant pause between them. Leaning up against the garage wall, afraid to break the connection of the cell phone by entering the elevator, Dena asked, “How’s Jess?”
“She’s fine, but a little depressed that things didn’t come together in Boston. But even more depressed that Trevor hasn’t moved to Maine.”
I can imagine. She held back the words of her heart. “Are there any other opportunities for her down here? She’s more than welcome to stay at my place and continue her search.”
“I’ll let her know. Truthfully, I’m a wee bit concerned. A month ago she was making foolish decisions because of her overconfidence. Now she’s not making any decisions.”
“You got your baby back, but it’s not the same, is it?”
“Nope, and I don’t know why.”
“Because she’s changed. You’ve changed. You need to keep encouraging her to go out and face the world.”
“Yeah, but it’s…” He cut himself off.
“It’s nice to watch over her once again. I know. Been there, done that. Hardest thing is to push them back out of the nest. Even if you don’t have her leave the house, you at least have to get her out there in Squabbin Bay and working for a living.”
“I know you’re right. And she and I had that very same talk a couple of days ago. I still don’t like it.”
Dena chuckled. “Who does?”
❧
It had felt good talking with Dena about Jess once again. But as he hauled another empty pot out of the ocean this morning, his frustration grew. He’d never known a season as bad as this. And he couldn’t understand why the poachers hadn’t been caught yet.
He threw off his work gloves and grabbed his cell phone from the little cubby on the dash that kept it dry while he was on the ocean and looked at the reception. Two bars; not too bad. He dialed Dena’s number.
“Hi, Dena, it’s me, Wayne. I was wondering…could I hire you?”
“Wayne?” She yawned. “What?”
He went on to explain his idea of hiring her to stake out the bank by her cottage and photograph any and all fishermen pulling pots, specifically his pots.
“I’m willing to try.”
“At least I’ll have the evidence to prove my point to the Coast Guard. It’s hard to believe the sheriff hasn’t caught anyone yet. Everyone knows it has to be thieves. I’ve tried altering my times, and still I’m not catching much of anything.” He placed one glove back on his left hand. “When can you come up?”
He heard some tapping as if a pen was being spun back and forth in her hand. “I guess I could come up late tonight. Chad will be home, so Brianne won’t be alone.”
“Brianne?” he asked.
“She’s pregnant and very sick.”
“Oh right, you mentioned that. Look, I hate to cut this short, but I’m on my cell. Leave a message and let me know when you can come and do the stakeout.”
“You make it sound so cops-and-robberish.”
“Well, it is. I need your help, Dena. You’re the only person I know who has the telephoto equipment and wouldn’t look conspicuous using it, especially from your own property.”
“No problem. I understand, and thanks. I really appreciate this. By the way, how much do you charge?”
Dena laughed. “We’ll barter on it. I have some new ideas I’d like to explore with the addition.”
“Hmm. I’d better end this conversation quickly before it costs me even more. Bye, Dena, and thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Bye.”
He closed his cell phone and glanced up at her cottage. The addition stood out like a sore thumb, but in the end it would blend well with the original structure, especially after they stained and painted the exterior.
He scanned the ocean for any traces of the poachers. A distant roar of an engine caught his senses. Should I? He set the boat in motion and headed in the general direction of the remote sound. He knew most of the lobstermen in the area. Surely he’d be able to recognize someone out of place. On the other hand, what would he do if he caught someone?
Wayne eased the throttle lever back. This is foolishness. He turned back toward the harbor and prayed once again that justice would be found for those who were victims of these thieves and that the thieves would be caught. Soon, he emphasized.
❧
Later on that evening, he fought the desire to purchase some perishable items for Dena’s refrigerator. She had family in the area, and they could help or she could purchase her own. They had to learn to be just friends. Isn’t that what Pastor Russell had been preaching when he came calling? Wayne tried to remember details of their conversation. He’d been right that Wayne had been skipping church because Dena’s son was the pastor. And as much as he enjoyed Pastor Russell, he couldn’t help but be reminded of Dena and what they could have had together if their schedules and lives would have allowed it.
He straightened up and locked the addition. The cabinets and sinks had been placed in the darkroom. All the fixtures were now in place in the master bath, which included her Jacuzzi. Brushing off the sawdust from his trousers, he opened the truck’s door. His cell phone rang.
“Hi, Dad, it’s me.”
“Hi, Jess. What’s up?”
“I just got a call from Dena. She said she’s on her way and will be able to help you out tomorrow morning.”
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